FIFTY-ONE

Four months later

Kayla rushes towards me, her long hair tied in a ponytail which swings from side to side as she runs. ‘Eve, Eve!’ She almost bowls me over in her excitement, even though she’s a fraction of my size.

‘How’s my girl?’ I say, lifting her up into the air and twirling her around.

She giggles, and there is no sound better than this, nothing more uplifting.

Sophie catches up, the twins running beside her, and she pulls me towards her; another thing that can’t be beaten is one of Sophie’s bear hugs. ‘How are you doing?’ she says. ‘You okay?’

‘I am right now,’ I say, placing Kayla back down and watching her run off with Jasper and Jensen, all of them chasing after each other as if it’s the most exciting thing in the world. I remember how much I used to struggle telling Sophie’s boys apart, but now that they are four it’s easy to see the subtle differences in their features.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Sophie begins. ‘I—’

‘Don’t, Soph, please. You don’t need to apologise for anything. Come on, let’s sit.’

It’s October now and, other than us, the park is empty. I lead Sophie to the same bench we sat on those months ago when I first came to see her. It’s not just the weather that’s different now; everything has changed.

‘It makes me sick when I think about it all,’ Sophie says once we’re sitting. ‘Alex Foley got away with it for all this time. I really hope he goes down for it.’

‘They’re trying to build a case, but it’s his word against mine. I have no proof. And he’s now trying to claim that I’m only saying he forced me because my husband found out I’d cheated on him.’

‘That piece of shit.’

‘I can’t believe he went to Aiden months ago and told him we’d had an affair. That’s what started Aiden off.’ The worst of it is that now he wants access to Kayla, and I don’t know what I can do to stop him. ‘He’s got money, Soph. That’s what scares me. Money helps people to do anything, to get away with anything.’

‘That’s true. But don’t ever stop fighting.’

We both know that I won’t. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself from all this it’s that I never give up. Not ever.

Everything being out in the open was never going to be straightforward, and when the truth was finally out, I struggled with the issues that will affect Kayla for the rest of her life. A DNA test by the police has confirmed that Alex Foley is her biological father. There’s nothing I can do about that and both the choices I’m faced with have far-reaching consequences for Kayla. If I keep it from her as she gets older, and then she finds out somehow, I can’t bear to think about how that would make her feel. And finding out is highly likely given how easy it was for Aiden to prove he wasn’t her father, after Alex Foley had planted the seed in his head. All it took was a DNA testing kit from Ancestry.com – a present Nicole had got him which she thought might help him fill in some gaps about his own biological family. Now Kayla’s results are on there, easily accessible.

And if Kayla found out in this way, not only will she have to deal with what Alex Foley did, but also the fact that I kept it from her. It’s already bad enough that I missed out on over two years of her life. On the other hand, if I tell her the truth then she will always have to live with the fact that her father is a rapist.

This, more than anything, is what has prevented me sleeping so many nights. Until I realised that, ultimately, there is only one choice. I will not lie to Kayla about who she is. And it will be my job to make sure she has enough confidence to handle the sadness, or anger, that she will inevitably feel at times.

‘How are you finding having three kids to look after?’ I ask Sophie, although I already know. She’s thrown herself into it like she does everything else and is doing a damn good job.

‘You know this is only temporary, don’t you?’ she says. ‘They’ll make a decision soon and Kayla will be living with you. Where she’s meant to be.’

‘I hope so,’ I say, ‘but in the meantime there’s no one I’d rather her be with.’

‘I’m so sorry about how I treated you,’ Sophie says. ‘I’ll never forgive myself.’ She has apologised to me every time I’ve seen her, even though I always assure her there’s no need, that I understand completely. ‘And I know what Damien thought about me and Aiden, but I promise you there was never anything more than friendship between us. I admit I probably got too involved in his life but being there to help him made me feel closer to you, and I missed our friendship.’

I take her hand, just like I always do when guilt overwhelms either of us.

Still running around the park, Kayla squeals as Jasper catches up with her and they tumble to the grass. A few months ago, I wondered if we’d ever see her smile again, but Cassie, the child psychologist, has done wonders for her, and with small steps is helping Kayla adjust to everything that’s happened.

Sophie smiles. ‘It’s definitely helped her being around the twins. They’re such comedians it’s impossible not to feel happy around them. Not sure where they get that from as it certainly isn’t Damien. He’s not even forty, yet he seems to have turned into this grumpy old man. I never thought that was actually a real thing! I can assure you it bloody is!’

‘I hope it’s not too much for him having Kayla living with you?’

She laughs. ‘Well, he does liken our house to a zoo, but he’s only joking. He loves her to pieces and is thrilled to be helping. Everyone’s on your side, Eve.’

This is a relief. It’s amazed me how many people are rallying around me now that everyone knows the truth. I only wish I’d been able to speak out before, instead of isolating myself from the world.

‘That’s good to hear. How did it go yesterday, then?’ I wasn’t going to ask her, wasn’t sure I wanted to know anything other than what the police tell me about the case, but now I’m here I have an overwhelming urge to know everything. The more information I have, the better prepared I will be to keep fighting for Kayla.

When Nicole first begged Sophie to see her, so that she could explain her part in it, Sophie refused. And she refused every time after that, until I told her she should do it. Perhaps I softened because I know what it’s like to be desperate to explain yourself, only to keep hitting a brick wall with people. I can’t take away the fact that Nicole raised Kayla for all that time, and ultimately did what she could to keep her. Would I have done any different?

Aiden, however, I find it harder to feel anything but anger towards. If he’d just tried to keep me from Kayla by taking her away himself, then I might have understood. But the chilling and calculated way he tried to mess with my mind is unforgiveable.

‘Are you sure you want me to talk about Nicole?’ Sophie says.

‘Tell me.’

I listen intently while Sophie explains that she met Nicole in a bar, after the kids were in bed. ‘There’s no way I would have let her come to my house, not with Kayla there. And I didn’t want to go to her sister’s place either. A bar seemed like the best option.’

To Sophie, Nicole had looked like a ghost: pale and thin, nothing like the confident woman she’d been before. Sophie had almost walked past her, not realising it was her until Nicole grabbed her arm as she walked past her table.

The first thing she’d told Sophie was that she had no idea what Aiden was planning to do. She only knew that Aiden wanted Kayla far away from me, and that was of course what Nicole wanted too.

‘Do you believe her?’ I ask Sophie.

‘I think so. Wait till you hear the rest. She said she had no idea that Kayla wasn’t Aiden’s, and it was a huge shock to her. She swore that she would never have helped him hide Kayla otherwise.’

‘Isn’t it all too convenient, though? Now that they’re in trouble with the police, suddenly she didn’t really know what was going on?’

‘Perhaps. But I really believe Aiden was manipulating her too. Did you know she can’t have children?’

This is a shock to me. ‘What? No, I didn’t. How did—’

‘Remember when she had to go to hospital that time you were there?’

I recall it clearly; I can picture the way Nicole was doubled over in pain as if it’s happening now in front of me. ‘Yes. She said they were doing tests but she was really vague about it.’

‘That’s when she found out she had endometriosis which was so severe that there was no way she’d ever have her own baby. It had spread to her bowel even.’

‘That’s awful.’

‘She told Aiden, and according to her, that made him even more desperate to get you away from Kayla. They’d always planned to have children – not quite yet as they felt Kayla was still so young and needed them, but in time. She said this was so devastating for them.’

Along with the sadness I feel for Nicole, a twinge of sympathy finds its way into my bones for Aiden. We’d had years of infertility and loss together and then it was happening all over again with Nicole. Worse, though, as she’d been given a definite answer. I, at least, had the label ‘unexplained’, which gave me a fraction of hope.

It was after Nicole had been in hospital that she became cold towards me, suddenly not wanting me to see Kayla when before she’d been my strongest advocate. I mention this to Sophie.

‘Well, this explains why. I think she was worried that Aiden and you would reconnect because of Kayla, and she probably felt she couldn’t compete, especially when she would never be the mother of his child. She had no idea that when she disappeared with Kayla, Aiden would practically move you into the house. She thought he would eventually join them and that you’d give up hope of ever finding Kayla.’

‘And what? Stop looking? That would never have happened.’ I stare at the ground. ‘Does she know that Aiden and I slept together?’

Sophie shakes her head. ‘I would never have told her, and I doubt he did.’

‘It was only once. It felt so wrong. I think that cemented in my head that he and I were never going to have a future. Which is just as well I suppose, as that was never his intention anyway. He just wanted to hurt me, to make me love him again and then snatch it away from me.’

‘His idea of payback,’ Sophie says. ‘Which shows how messed up he was.’

‘Did she mention Aiden’s parents?’ I’m desperate to hear that they really didn’t know anything about this.

‘Yes, she did. She said Marie and Pete had no idea. Aiden let them believe that Kayla really was missing. Awful, isn’t it? Hey, have you thought about whether they’ll still be able to see Kayla?’

‘She loves them,’ I say. ‘And they love her. I’ll never stop them seeing each other. It’s all just so complicated.’ I turn to watch Kayla and the twins. ‘So what’s Nicole going to do now? Please tell me they’re not together.’

‘No. She’s adamant that she’s moving on. She did say, though, that Aiden doesn’t believe the truth.’

I know this already. The police have been telling me that he insists I’m lying. That I’m manipulating everyone. ‘I know why,’ I say. ‘It helps him.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘If he let himself believe me, then what does that say about him? He did all of this because he thought I’d betrayed him in one of the worst possible ways, so he doesn’t want to acknowledge that he did all this based on Alex Foley’s lies.’

It occurs to me now that perhaps Aiden was just as much a victim of that man as I was. I refuse to think of myself in those terms now – I am a survivor, not a victim, a phoenix rising from the ashes.

‘I’m going to see Aiden,’ I say, only just determining to do this now.

Sophie’s eyes widen. ‘Really? Is that a good idea?’

‘Yes, I think it is. I need him to understand. And I know that somewhere inside him is the decent man I used to know.’


Later, I meet Jamie for a drink in Leicester Square, at the same bar I spent the whole afternoon drinking in after he ended our relationship. Apparently, it’s a day of coming full circle.

I’m there early, and when he walks in he waves as he spots me and makes his way towards the table I’ve managed to find us.

He leans in to kiss me and it feels right, as though I’m right where I’m meant to be. As though I am home.

‘So,’ he says, pulling out a chair. ‘Big day tomorrow. I’m finally going to meet your mum.’

‘Yep. Are you ready?’ I’ve already told Mum all about Jamie, even though I’m sure she won’t remember what I’ve said. ‘She has very high standards,’ I joke. ‘It will take a lot to impress her.’ I’m enjoying teasing him, the easy banter we now have with each other that only comes from intimacy.

‘Is that right?’ Jamie says. ‘Well, she’d better get used to me, because I’m not going anywhere.’

And as we sit here while evening merges with night, and talk about Jamie’s parents, and Kayla and Mum, for the first time in so many years, I actually know with certainty that everything’s going to work out.


Jamie wakes me in the middle of the night, gently shaking me until I fully come around.

‘Alex Foley is dead!’

I shoot up, suddenly wide awake, and see Jamie staring at his phone. ‘What? How?’

‘Apparently they think it was a burglary. Maybe he tried to fight them off and it got out of hand?’

I grab Jamie’s phone and read the news article. ‘Poor Justin,’ I say when I’ve finished taking in all the details. I should be shocked, but somehow I’m not. And nor am I sad, because now Kayla is free of that monster.

Finally, this is a new chance for me and my little girl. No Aiden, no Nicole, and no Alex Foley. Just me and Kayla, as we should be, together.