BITCHES

HELENA

I haven’t been to work all week and I have two men to blame for that. Actually, make that three men. Well, I haven’t been since Tuesday. It’s not at all like me to miss work like this. I usually schedule time off in advance in case anyone needs anything from me. But I digress.

Men—plural—are the reason I’m not at work. You’re probably thinking Avery is number one on that list, but you’re wrong. Public enemy number one is Mr. Devlin. Second is Tommy Devlin. Avery’s pulling up the rear in last place on this list.

Why are the snakes in the grass Devlins at the top of my shit list? I’m glad you asked. I left work Tuesday feeling a little better than Monday. Considering I only had to go around the corner, I arrived early at the steakhouse for my dinner with Mr. Devlin. To make things better, they had my favorite vodka available so I ordered some on ice and waited. Not terrible, right?

But then. THEN. Tommy Devlin walks in. Assuming perhaps he’s joining his father, I ask when he sees me and comes to sit at my table. But no. His dad won’t be joining us. In fact, he was never joining us. In fact, Tommy admits this entire thing was orchestrated by the two of them in order for us to have dinner together. You see, I never answered the text from the night Avery left, asking to go to dinner sometime.

In fact, I completely ignored that bitch on purpose. No, I wasn’t caught up in my emotions about Avery. I wasn’t too busy. I literally went into my phone and snoozed his messages.

And I didn’t know it at the time, but not answering a man’s text compels them to use unsavory means to trap you into the request. Apparently it’s romantic. Yes, when a woman ignores your text, it’s code to please orchestrate a ruse to get her attention. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. No actually means yes.

To be fair, I sat through his entire explanation as he droned on about how he just knew he could make me happy and that my company would be in good hands with him. He even went as far as to say it was fate that put his father on my father’s board so that one day we could meet. So not only is Tommy borderline stalker-ish, he’s also completely delusional.

After he finished speaking, it was my turn. I don’t think there was a name I didn’t call him. I told him the apple doesn’t fall far from the asshole tree. I threatened that if he ever tried to contact me again, I would file a restraining order. And then I assured him I’d be speaking to human resources and legal about the actions of his father.

It was time. Mr. Devlin has been a thorn in my side for too long and I’ll be damned if he’s going to try to roll me over. I kept good on my promise and legal is working to sort out his forced retirement.

So no. I didn’t go to work. I didn’t even want to risk seeing him. Not because I was scared or intimidated. But because I didn’t want to punch the motherfucker in the mouth.

Which brings us to now. As I board my plane with no more than a backpack, I can’t help but feel nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before. My sister assures me it will be fine, that she’ll be here for me when I get back.

Still, it’s nerve-wracking. I don’t usually go into situations where I don’t know the outcome. First and foremost, I’m business minded. Every time I step into a board room, I’m at least three steps ahead of everyone else in there. I plan, I check, I re-check, and then I produce two contingency plans.

This time, though. This time it’s a leap of faith. I’ve never really been good at those. I’m a one foot in type of person. I’ll admit I did call ahead to make sure I would be able to pull this off. Luckily, after identifying myself, certain people who shall not be named, were eager to assist me.

The flight attendant lets me know it will be a short trip, less than an hour in the air. Not surprising. Avery isn’t really that far away at all. I’m of the opinion he grossly exaggerated the distance in order to drive home his point. Though, he’s still right about what it means in the long run.

I don’t exactly have this planned out. I don’t even really know what I’m going to say. What I do know is I’ll die with regrets if I don’t say something.

So I’m off—without a script and ready to have my heart broken all over again if it should come to it.