Some days are harder than others. I think it’s supposed to be like that. I’m not quite sure why except that I have lived long enough to know that eventually the pain and heartache of today softens and lends toward the joys of tomorrow - joys we may not ever have known had there not been days of hardship or loss. Many years ago, on a day just like today, walking, breathing, and living, my life was suddenly brought to a halt with some disturbing news. I had been sick and in pain for about a week or so. This kind of pain was not so unusual and yet seemed unfamiliar and a little severe at times. As I made my way to the Doctor, I was advised of something that no one should ever hear. Before I had even known what was to be I had lost something really precious. He advised me that he thought I had just experienced an early miscarriage. Nothing prepares you for those words or for the loss of something you did not know and now, never would. Suddenly, the realization of the weight of these words was upon me. I would never meet, nurse or hold this child. A precious little one had slipped away unknowingly and would never be born or grow to be old. Gone, before I even knew about them, before one prayer was uttered, one name thought of, one dream dreamed. It’s one thing to mourn a loss that you know of, but quite another for one you don’t. Over the years I’ve had many opportunities to share of this private struggle, but never once have I understood how to do that like I have today. As I opened my bible this morning and read this verse in Deuteronomy 29:29, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.” It suddenly occurred to me that even God has secrets that no one knows about.
I’ve come to realize that there is definitely nothing wrong with harboring a secret or two inside. It’s alright that I kept this wee little one tucked away inside my heart all these years. God understands. It’s okay that I don’t know why it had to happen and it’s okay that it still hurts from time to time. One day, the Omniscient One - my Savior and Keeper of all knowledge (and of all my secrets) will reveal all his secrets to me and then I will finally know and be at peace. I don’t know what secret you are keeping today, but I want you to know that you and God have far more in common than you ever realized. You can trust him with everything . . . even the deepest hurts and sorrows tucked deep inside that no one knows about. Will you call on him today? He’s waiting.