Sixteen

The Kiss

If there was a Heaven, belief was that I’d never make it through the gates. I was born with the dark soul that would keep me out. However, the warmth and scent surrounding me was my idea of Heaven. I couldn’t think of a more intoxicating place to be than where I was, and I felt the sleep slowly fade. My thoughts began to clear as I blinked once, twice, then opened my eyes widely when the black fabric covered chest under my cheek rose and fell slowly.

I didn’t move. I should have moved away but the smell was so good I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave it. I let things sink in as I scanned the darkness of the room to figure out where I was at exactly. The living room… I was still in Margo and Heath’s apartment. I was on the sofa and I was warm and cuddled up against… I inhaled the scent again and closed my eyes tightly. Rathe. That smell was Rathe.

I took in my position without moving a muscle. I didn’t want him to wake up. Especially while I was draped over his body like this. My right leg was thrown over his legs, and I was lying on one side of his body with my arm thrown over his wide shoulders. I could only blame this on the smell. In my sleep, I had been drawn to his scent and apparently climbed on top of him or at least tried to.

The warmth from his breath was near the back of my neck. It was so close that his exhale caused goosebumps on my arms. I shivered wishing this didn’t feel so amazing. His hand moved… sliding around my back.

He was holding me. I wasn’t sure where his arm had been before, but he was holding me in place now. In his sleep, he was pulling me closer, too. That made me feel marginally better. It probably shouldn’t. He was a man and I was pressing against him.

I tried to stay still and calm as not to wake him. I needed to remember why we were cuddled up asleep. I’d been drinking wine, it had started to relax me and make me think less. Rathe had returned from his date, and I grimaced then, remembering he’d been on a date and I’d been upset about that. He’d sat beside me. I had wanted to smell him more because I was possibly drunk. I hadn’t been sleepy, though… yet, I remembered little else. Had I fallen asleep so easily? I wasn’t drunk enough to pass out. Three glasses was not enough to knock me out so quickly.

“If you want to stretch out you can,” Rathe’s voice was a raspy, deep whisper I wasn’t expecting to hear. I gasped in response to his voice. He was awake, and here I was sprawled all over him. What should I do now? Thank him and go to Margo’s room? Or was Duely in there? I lifted my head and scanned the room for the others. As expected we were alone and I doubted Duely left me here. We still had the stranger following me. Duely knew I was unsure about that and I wanted the extra magic if I was being stalked.

Needing to say something to Rathe, I was thankful for the darkness. I sat up and looked down at him. His hand fell from me as I put the distance between us. “I’m sorry,” I said, still not sure how I passed out so easily. I wasn’t a big drinker, but it took more than that to get to me normally.

He stretched his long muscular body, and I had to fight hard not to admire the movement. I kept my gaze on his face, yet his expression seemed to be amused, knowing I was struggling not to look at his body.

“Why are you sorry, Catalina?” he asked, his sleep affected tone making me shiver again. Dang it. I had to get control of myself, or I was going to embarrass myself yet again.

I tried to sound unaffected when I replied, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on top of you. I guess I was more exhausted than I realized. You should have pushed me off and gone to your bed where it’s more comfortable.”

He grinned that half smile that made his dimple appear. “You were peaceful and I didn’t want to take my delicious scent from you.”

I covered my face and groaned. I had said that out loud. Great. I had hoped that was the only thing I shared with him.

“I do smell pretty damn good.” He was definitely amused.

I dropped my hands from my face and asked “Is Duely here?” I didn’t want to know if I’d said anything else humiliating. I needed to leave.

He shot his gaze toward Margo’s room. My stomach dropped. He knew he wasn’t supposed to go there.

“Oh no,” I whispered, hating myself for drinking.

“He’s alone in there. She’s in Heath’s bed and Heath’s on the floor in his room,” he explained. I was relieved, but I had also made the sleeping arrangements complicated.

“He should have woken me up,” I said, now feeling guilty for more than just making Rathe uncomfortable.

“I wasn’t letting anyone wake you or move you,” Rathe’s response sounded firm. As if no one could argue with him. I liked that. I shouldn’t and I wished I didn’t.

“Why? Because having me sprawl all over you was oh so comfortable,” I replied, wanting to sound as if his response hadn’t made me feel giddy.

“It was nice, Catalina. I won’t lie. You were so peaceful. I liked you asleep on me and that wasn’t something I was willing to give up.”

Oh. My heart was racing now, and breathing suddenly seemed difficult. The way his voice had dropped when he explained it only made his explanation more exciting. I just stared at him, not sure what to say. I wasn’t positive my voice wouldn’t give away the effect his words had on me. Silence seemed to be safer. The privacy and the darkness made desires inside me stir that I had been doing my best to fight off.

He moved, sliding his hand back around my waist, pulling me close to him again. My body heated and the flush he was causing now had nothing to do with embarrassment. I was reacting to the attraction.

“It’s not even three yet. We have plenty of hours left to sleep. Stay with me.”

Ignoring that suggestion wouldn’t be possible. I lay my head down on his shoulder with hesitance. “I’m not sure this is what friends do,” I told him or me or both of us.

“It is,” he assured me, his breath far too close to my ear. I inhaled sharply and my skin hummed with pleasure. “Tonight, I had a date. One I couldn’t enjoy because all I could think about was someone else.” He lowered his head and his lips were so close to my ear they brushed it as he spoke. “Do you know who that was, Catalina?” he asked in a low husky voice.

I couldn’t speak. I did manage to shake my head a little.

“You. I couldn’t think of anything but you.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I wanted to run from this and cling to him at the same time. Every reason I should leave faded as he pressed his lips to my ear then moved to kiss my temple. “I just wanted to get back here, knowing you were here. Then I get here and you curl into me so sweet and soft. It’s exactly where I wanted to be.” His lips moved without breaking contact down to my ear then he shifted me, and he was kissing my neck, turning me until my chest was pressed to his and his lips were on my cheek. He was pausing, teasing, possibly battling with himself. I wasn’t sure but my body was so consumed with a greedy need to get more I didn’t care. I just didn’t want him to stop any of it.

With one easy shift, his hands were on my waist, and our lips were touching. Every nerve on my body caught fire when the tip of his tongue touched the sensitive flesh of my lips. I couldn’t inhale, my lungs were burning with the need of oxygen. My lips parted for him though without needing my help. They knew what they wanted and the taste was possibly better than the smell of his skin. I gasped, finally getting the air my body needed.

My hands squeezed his shoulders for support as I straddled him then I sank my fingers into his hair.

“Fuck,” he uttered the one word before his hand grabbed a handful of my hair and he began kissing me with a hunger that matched mine. My need to get lost in him was so wild that I pressed my body down onto him and felt the rigidness of his erection between my legs. That instantly lit a flame where the already sensitive nerves had been pulsing.

I moaned and kissed him with more excitement. The pleasure was teasing me with a promise of more. I wiggled slightly, causing us both to inhale sharply and still. His hand tightened in my hair, and he pulled my head back with one tug. His eyes held me with such a dark intensity that I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. I was crazed for him. The flash in his eyes as he saw my complete surrender had me close to begging. Consequences be damned.

My body and mind were now in one accord. No more battling what I craved and what I knew was right. I was giving in to this attraction to Rathe.

That acceptance was very short lived as was the heat spiraling between us. Rathe wasn’t giving in or acting on anything. Instead Rathe shook his head no with a firmness that I understood. There was no question to what he was refusing. It was clear.

I’d never felt as lost as I did in that moment. I continued to stay very still waiting for an explanation or him to resume making me lose my mind. I wanted to misunderstand his shake of the head. The seconds that past were only a few, but it seemed an eternity. Self-doubt was creeping in and the fire that had gone from a smolder to full blown flame in seconds was doused.

“We can’t do this.” Although his voice sounded thick with regret, the words were still the same. I moved. I no longer wanted to crawl all over him. The exact opposite. I wanted to get away from him. The fact I was straddling his lap so brazenly had become embarrassing. His hand let my hair go as I shifted and I was able to quickly move from his embrace. The room was cold without the heat from our bodies. I wrapped my arms around me in a protective manner and glanced around for my shoes. I didn’t know what else to do or say. This was a first for me. I had only ever been intimate with one other boy and that was so long ago. I wanted to leave, but should I leave without Duely? My safety no longer seemed that big of a deal. If I had to choose between the stalking warlock and staying here with Rathe after… after what we had almost done then I was leaning toward the warlock.

“Catalina,” he said my name with a firmness that commanded attention, but I didn’t look at him. I just needed a moment to get myself together. To feel less vulnerable and emotionally exposed. I felt raw. “I’m sorry. I started… things,” he said the words as if he truly meant them. I believed him. We were supposed to be friends. He’d been clear on that but I was a female, and I’d been there willingly, climbing all over him with very little encouragement. I couldn’t blame it on him.

I saw my Vans tucked under the ottoman and bent down to grab them. Again, I wasn’t sure if I should go. Leaving here in the middle of the night alone was currently a bad idea, but it seemed to be all I could do. Besides, I didn’t know if the disappearing stranger was dangerous. He was just an unknown and that’s what concerned me. I wasn’t weak. Anything else outside needed to fear me. I had never walked around in fear before and the oddity of it was an annoyance.

Kamlock’s didn’t fear. I wasn’t proud of that name, but it was something to remember right now. I was far from helpless.

“You can’t leave,” Rathe said. “It’s late. Take my room. I’ll stay out here.”

My head snapped up at that offer to look at him. His regret was clear and that was even more of a reason for me to get the heck out of here. I had seen regret before on a guy. That memory burned in my gut, and it should have been enough to keep me from being stupid tonight. I was glutton for punishment. This was proof. I was leaving.

“I’ll be fine. Tell Duely I’m going to my house tonight,” I said then slipped my Vans on quickly.

“Catalina, please don’t leave. Talk to me,” he said the last three words as if that was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn’t want to be the reason I left in the middle of the night and was then possibly abducted or raped. There was no reason for him to be concerned about that but he didn’t know just how safe I was from any lurking criminal out there.

“I think we talked enough, Rathe. Don’t you? I’m going to leave and end this awkwardness. Trust me, I’ll be fine,” I stopped before I started ranting. My desire to call him names that he probably didn’t deserve reminded me how naïve and inexperienced I truly was. Damn hormones and his pretty face.

“If I hadn’t stopped us, we would have messed everything up,” he said, as he stood up. I sure hoped he didn’t think he could keep me from walking out that door. I’d hurt his masculinity a bit if he attempted it.

“You’re right. We would have. Thanks for having the will power to stop us.” I sounded angry or bitter and tomorrow I’d wish I had acted more mature about it.

We stood there in the darkness with nothing but the moonlight coming through the windows lighting the room. Neither one of us said anything. I studied his face for something to make this easier but all I saw was the regret. That hurt the most.

How was I the only Kamlock woman in history to be the one to get hurt by men? We were born to cause the pain. We were the heartbreaking gold diggers. Kamlock women didn’t get turned down. Except for me, it seemed. Not being evil meant being vulnerable. I took in the look of Rathe’s disheveled hair and the expression on his face. Even Rathe’s rejection couldn’t make me want to be like the other women in my family. I’d choose to be rejected over and over by men than to end up like my mother.

Without a word, I turned around and went to pick my purse up from the table beside the front door. When I opened the door, he didn’t say anything. No more begging me to stay. No more argument. He wanted me to leave. He just couldn’t admit it.

A door opened somewhere inside, and I sighed, knowing we had woken one of the others up. I wasn’t going to argue with any of them. I didn’t want to explain why I was leaving. They had all seen me laying on Rathe asleep before they went to bed.

“Where you going?” Duely called out to me. I was glad it was him.

“Home,” I told him quietly without looking back. His hearing was excellent. Then I walked out the door and closed it behind me.

“Are you going after her?” I heard Rathe ask.

“She’ll be safe. At least from anything out there that can hurt her,” Duely replied with a touch of sarcasm in his voice. He hadn’t been worried about my safety with the warlock after all. He had that stupid idea in his head I was special or something more. I could see souls of those passed on, I could control the weather sure, but the only other thing that made me stronger than the rest of the Kamlocks was I could experience emotions such as sympathy and love. I had a heart. That was not a super power. If anything, it made me weaker than the others. Tonight was an example of just how weak it made me. “The only thing you need to be concerned about is Heath’s reaction when he finds out you made her run away in the middle of the night,” Duely added. I rolled my eyes and kept walking away from the mistake I’d made tonight.