Chapter Thirty-Three

Lucas had walked straight to the bus station after he’d spoken with coach and then just sat there as he watched buses come and go. He had enough for one ticket, but he couldn’t decide which direction to go. Cement plant that would tie him to one place or casual manual labor, which would give him some flexibility?

Flexibility to do what? Just pick a direction. Any one.

And yet, two hours later, he was still there, waiting for the perfect bus. It was crazy. Like that TV show where people tried to leave the town but somehow forgot how to. So instead, he’d grabbed a sandwich and soda from the station bodega and started walking along the 10.

Numb. That was what he was striving for. Total numbness. That way, even if Avery crossed his mind, he wouldn’t feel anything. And of course, Avery was all he thought about. So much so that when he saw her in the backseat of a Jeep trying to run him over, he figured he was hallucinating.

As the dust cleared, he saw LeVonn and Lexi and Avery just staring at him. Had they come to kill him and bury his body at the side of the road? He couldn’t even bring himself to care or blame them.

For a couple of seconds, they just stared at one another.

“Uh, Avery, honey? You wanna take this one? We’ll just talk amongst ourselves,” Lexi said, purposefully looking away from Lucas.

Avery stood up on the seat and put her foot on the side of the Jeep and jumped out.

He dropped his bag and reached for her, suddenly scared that she was going to hurt herself. He grabbed her just before she hit the ground, and her hands clasped his waist to steady herself.

He closed his eyes and took a breath through his nose, just relishing the feeling of her touching him again.

“Why are you here?” he asked, finally.

“My dad gave me your letter,” she said. “And the flash cards.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and she crushed her lips together as if she was trying hard not to cry. He wanted to hold her, but he wasn’t sure if she had come to say goodbye, to shout at him again, or not. Every cell in his body hoped for the not.

“What can I do?” he asked desperately. He stretched his hands out, wanting so much to touch her, and to pull her to him, but not knowing if that was even okay, let alone what she needed. He’d stand there and listen to her shout at him for hours, too, if that was what it would take to stop her crying.

Avery sniffed and looked away, across the dry fields toward town. Her chin stopped wobbling. “You can stay,” she said, not looking at him.

He needed to see what was in her eyes, so he didn’t say anything until she actually looked at him. She caught his eye only briefly and then looked away again.

And then he realized. She wasn’t sure about him. Even now. She was asking him to stay, not even knowing if he would. Or wanted to.

Tightness gripped his throat as he choked back his own emotion. All he wanted was for her to know what was in his heart. “I love you, Avery.”

She turned back to him, and her gaze met his, steadily this time. Her eyes still weren’t sure, though, and that wasn’t good enough for him.

“I love you. And I’ll fix this if you give me a chance.” He swallowed. “Just a chance to make things right with you. To be your friend. Hell, I’ll even take acquaintance if you’ll let me be a part of your life. I mean, I’ll take anything, really.”

“But you left,” Avery said.

Now it was his time to look away. He took a deep breath. “It was a mistake. I got to the bus station, and I couldn’t decide which direction to leave in. So I started to walk, and every step that took me away from Hillside—away from you—felt heavy. Felt wrong. Just a few minutes ago, when I saw Stan, I realized that I needed to go back. To go home. I need to make up for what I did. To your dad, to the team, and to you. I don’t care how long it takes—I’m going to keep on trying to win your trust back. If you’ll let me. If you don’t…” His voice faltered as he contemplated her saying that she didn’t want him back.

“I will,” she said.

His head snapped up. “Wait, what? You will what?”

She smiled, and he realized what she meant. “You’ll let me try win your trust back?” No force in the world could stop him grinning.

“I will,” she repeated, her own smile widening.

“Can I start right now?” He reached out a hand to her, and she took it. He gently pulled her close. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“I thought you’d gone,” she said. “I didn’t like that.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll never leave again unless you send me away. I promise.”

She held him tight. “I’m holding you to that.”

He smiled over her shoulder. “You can hold me to anything.”

“I think my dad will be happy you’re staying. He really stuck up for you in the meeting,” Avery said.

“Oh, shit,” he said, pulling back from her. “Did they fire him?” He winced as he said the words. He’d been wallowing in his own misery so hard that he’d forgotten that Coach’s job was on the line, too.

“No, they didn’t. The town rallied behind him and you.”

He swallowed down a lump of emotion that was threatening to explode out of him. “You know your dad reminded me of the Hammers’ number one rule before I left. That’s what I remembered what it was when I saw Stan.”

“Keep fighting,” she said, nodding slightly.

“Yeah. And Stan reminded me how you’d never stopped fighting, no matter how bad things got. Even down to taking comfort from a freaking speed camera.”

Avery snort-laughed. “Gee. Thanks.”

He smiled. “The truth is you’re much stronger than I am. But I want to be as strong as you. And I want to keep fighting with you. For us. You and me, Avery.”

She bit her lip and looked like she was trying to think of the right thing to say.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m prepared to put the work in to regain your trust. That’s all that matters to—”

“I love you, too. Although, yeah, you totally have to work to regain my trust.” She grinned at him. “You’re going to work and work and work…”

He picked her up and spun around, making her squeal.

“Whatever it takes.”