READING WAS a fucking miserable gray place. Somehow Mark had never noticed it before, but being back on a wet winter weekend when he wanted to be five hundred miles away made everything ten times worse. Getting between Heathrow Airport and Reading had made him grind his teeth and wish for the Swiss transport network, despite having only been in the country an hour. Back when he’d booked the flight, he thought by this point he’d be looking forward to returning to the UK, and his parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary would’ve been a good excuse.
He hadn’t expected he’d meet someone like Steffen. Basel was meant to break the lull in his career, not break his heart. He also hadn’t thought returning to his flat would be so anticlimactic. The pile of unexciting letters waiting for him and the stale air from not having anyone living in the place made him even more fucking miserable. The distinct lack of Steffen was unbearable, made even worse when he thought that in less than a month he’d be back in Reading permanently.
To avoid having to take the bus, he’d got a cab to the hotel that was the venue of his parents’ party, but even that annoyed him, having got caught up in roadworks with his driver moaning constantly about the state of the roads. He arrived late and suspected most of the guests had already made good use of the free bar. His mum and dad hugged him, demanding to know all about Switzerland, and he only managed to escape when the speeches started.
The cheesy music the DJ selected seemed to be working a treat with most of the guests. Even mad Aunt May was up dancing. He stood back and watched his parents bopping along, wondering if he’d slipped into a surreal alternative dimension where he was the responsible adult who would need to step in at some point and limit his mum’s drinks.
He picked up a sausage roll from the buffet. Being away, he hadn’t been involved in planning the event, and while the hotel had put on a nice spread and decorated tastefully, he couldn’t help but think that this was more for the rest of the family than his parents. His dad no doubt would have preferred something more low-key, perhaps just his parents, him, his sister, and her husband in a high-class restaurant. Or maybe he didn’t know them as well as he thought he did, as they both appeared to be enjoying the dancing.
Laura, his sister, handed him a pint of lager. “There you go, you miserable bugger. Cheer up.”
“Hate to tell you this, but telling me to cheer up won’t actually cheer me up. Where’s your husband gone? Shouldn’t you be annoying him?”
“God, you’re a shit when you’re brooding. Harry’s playing pool with Uncle Bob—I warned him not to play for money, but he didn’t listen, and now he’s twenty quid down.”
“Surely one of the first things you should have told him was never bet against Uncle Bob on anything.” He took a sip of lager and grimaced. “What is this?”
“Fosters, I think. I just asked for whatever was on draft.” She nudged him. “You turning your nose up? Not la-de-da enough, now you’ve gone all Swiss.”
“I’ve hardly gone Swiss. I’ll be back for good before you know it.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Is that the problem? You don’t want to come back?”
His little sister was as shrewd as she was clever, and being in possession of a double first from Oxford meant she was not lacking in brains. “I dunno. I didn’t think I’d like it out there as much as I do.”
“Not like you to get attached to somewhere so quickly. Took you ages to settle when you went to uni. You couldn’t wait to get back to Reading after a couple of weeks.”
“I was fine once I made a few mates in Nottingham.” He’d been awkward and homesick, and not as mature as some of the others he’d been thrust into student halls with. But once he’d joined a couple of societies and found a few friends, he’d been all right, grew into himself, and hit the gay scene with gusto. “Besides, I’m in Basel for work, not pleasure.”
“Is it going all right? I thought you were getting a bit bored before you went.”
Laura was right. Before Basel he’d been growing stagnant in the job. The best projects were always at head office, and he’d started to feel he was getting crumbs rather than something really interesting to work on. “It’s great. It was a bit daunting when I arrived, and I have to do some bloody long hours, but I like it. It took a bit of time to settle down, but my Swiss boss told me the client is really happy with me, and there’s a buzz in the office that you just don’t get here.” The buzz in his love life had also helped a great deal.
“Life’s not all work. Have you made friends there?”
“My colleagues are nice,” he said carefully.
“Anyone more than ‘nice’? I know you’ve not really recovered properly from splitting up from John, but maybe there’s someone who can help you get back on the horse.”
Mark nearly choked on his beer. “What? That’s bullshit—John is ancient history.”
“Oh, come off it. Mum told me she was worried that you’re working longer hours, not going out as much, and haven’t even had a sniff at a new boyfriend since John left.”
“Rubbish!” he spat. His mum was the last person he discussed his love life with. It was bad enough she asked him if he had a boyfriend every time he called. The sad sigh that accompanied his negative response made him count to ten silently in his head to stop him saying something he’d regret.
“Hit a nerve, did I?” Laura said, a smug smile tugging at her lips.
Mark didn’t want to be having this conversation again. “John and me split up because I was already working long hours, and what we had wasn’t enough for me to stop working long hours, so that should tell you the state of our relationship.”
“That doesn’t explain why you’ve not started seeing someone new. I know you work hard, Mark, but you weren’t a hermit.”
She was like a dog with a bone, and he answered before he could stop himself. “Who says I didn’t?”
Laura let out a gleeful shriek. “Oh, so there is a Mr. More Than Nice. You’ve got yourself a Swiss fella! No wonder you’re here sulking like an old goat.”
He knew it was too late to try and deny it. He’d never been able to lie convincingly, and Laura would see through him straightaway. “I have met someone, but it’s not serious. Casual fun while I’m out there.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Hmmm.”
“What does hmmm mean?”
“If it were casual, you wouldn’t be here moping.” She wore a calculating look that he thought her accountancy clients were probably familiar with. “What’s stopping you staying out there?”
“The little problem that my job is here,” he scoffed.
“Is that all? I bet if they thought enough of you to send you to Basel for three months, they would consider letting you move there. By the sound of it, your boss is happy with you. What does your fella think of it?”
“He doesn’t think anything about it.” That was as big a problem as not having a job. Steffen’s demeanor had changed since they’d first met, but the situation hadn’t. “He made it clear at the start that he wasn’t interested in anything more. I’d hate to see his face if I suggested staying. It’d probably give him palpitations.”
“So you haven’t actually talked to him about it.”
“No, and there’s no point. Drop it, Laura.” Mark had decided not to mention anything to Steffen, not wanting to hear that his ideas were nothing more than wishful thinking.
She rested her head on his shoulder. “Oh, all right. But don’t miss out on someone who can make you happy—I nearly lost Harry, thanks to him being an idiot on his motorbike.”
Laura was brilliant at emotional blackmail, and bringing up the fact his brother-in-law had ended up in intensive care for three weeks, meaning they’d had to move their wedding, was a low but well-targeted blow. “I promise I’ll think it over.”
Thinking it over wouldn’t be a problem. The issue would be keeping his thoughts realistic. Staying in Basel seemed too much of a pipe dream to make it real. He watched as his dad twirled his mum around the dance floor. Forty years of marriage and his dad still looked at his mum as if she had hung the stars. They’d had their problems, no relationship was perfect, but they’d overcome everything thrown at them. Mark knew it was where his desire for something long-lived came from. He wanted what his parents had, but he also knew that not everybody got to have the love of their lives.
HIS FLIGHT landed on time, and with only hand luggage he should be back at his apartment in less than an hour. There’d be hardly any traffic on the roads, with it being a Sunday afternoon, and his flight was half-empty, so even if there were other flights landing at this time, he’d have no problem getting a seat on the bus. Waiting to leave the plane, he switched off flight mode on his mobile and was surprised when it vibrated. He had a message from Steffen.
Hope visit went well. Missed you this weekend. If you are not too tired, will you meet me at the Rio Bar at 7pm?
They hadn’t made arrangements to meet today, as Mark wasn’t sure how bad his hangover was going to be, and having not flown the route on a Sunday, he had no idea if the flight would be on time. He smiled to himself. He wouldn’t read too much into the message despite wanting to, but he didn’t have to think too much about the reply.
Missed you too. Def not too tired to meet. See you at 7.