My hands are trembling. I suck in my breath and find the courage to look through the window.
The patterned glass is blurring everything but I can make out a hospital ward big enough for half a dozen patients. The three beds closest to me are occupied.
Who is it? Martyn? Rez?
The nurses are in the way.
I watch in horror as they manoeuvre Joe into position by the door. The nurses take their time hooking him up to various machines, attaching probes and wires, feeding tubes into his body while he lies helplessly, in a vegetative state.
It feels like a belt is strapped around my chest, tightening one notch at a time. Fuck’s sake, move out of the way.
What they’ve done to Joe makes Ariel’s ice bath look like child’s play. But now I know that was a cover for what’s really been going on here. I was right about Ariel, I just underestimated how dangerous she is.
I check over my shoulder. If they find me, they’ll kill me. Or – I swallow – use me as a human guinea pig.
The nurses move around the bed, the gap slowly widens and my heart leaps into my mouth. Finally, a clear view.
I glimpse a bush of grey hair, a woman in her sixties. Next to her, a frighteningly thin teenage girl with discoloured skin; a blotchy pattern marking her face and hands. I feel relief and sadness all at once. My heart drops into my stomach as I notice their eyes. Wide open, vacant, staring up at the ceiling. They’re awake but not awake, just like Joe.
But what have they done with Rez and Martyn?
A flash of movement in the corridor pulls me back. I press myself flat against the wall, the cold feeding into my shoulder blades as I hold my breath. I can hear their voices on the other side of the door. The nurses are whispering, one of them is speaking quickly and urgently. I strain to hear what’s being said.
‘How much did you give her today?’
‘One and a half times yesterday’s dose.’ A pause. ‘It’s too much.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
‘I don’t feel comfortable doing it.’
Another pause.
‘This is going in the wrong direction.’
Who are they talking about?
‘Keep your head.’
‘We could all get done for this. It’s not what we signed up for, they’re making us do things that—’
‘Hold it together, OK . . .’ The voice lowers until it’s inaudible.
‘But if anyone finds out, this could end badly for us . . .’
‘Pass me the drip. Concentrate and don’t ask questions.’
They’re referring to a woman, that much is obvious, but who? A patient? Is there another ward where they’re treating people? I glance sideways, steeling myself. Preparing to push off again because clearly I’m looking in the wrong place for Rez and Martyn.