With a Little Help
from My Friends
For many Pagans, the practice of Witchcraft is a solitary pursuit. Sometimes that’s by choice. Sometimes it is due to a lack of anyone to practice with. The two women who started Blue Moon Circle with me had both been Solitaries for many years, in part because they were content practicing on their own and in part because they’d never found a group that was right for them.
For others, ritual is a shared experience, done in a coven or circle or even a large gathering of mostly strangers. Group work doesn’t necessarily mean a crowd; I have one pal who commonly shares her ritual work with her best friend. Blue Moon Circle has varied in size over the years from three to nine, with many sabbat celebrations including a number of additional guests.
So how do you decide if you want to share your practice of the Craft with others, and how does it work if you do?
Shared Celebrations and Group Practice
Practicing the Craft with someone else can be both challenging and rewarding. The energy generated by more than one person is a very different thing than the energy you generate working on your own. It can be extremely powerful and extremely moving—as long as you are working with the right bunch of people.
Of course, it isn’t always easy to find the right people. I’ve gone to rituals where the folks leading the rite were so scattered and unfocused, we might as well not have been in circle at all. I’ve been to rituals where people came to circle stoned or drunk (which not only affects the energy of the entire circle, but is, in my opinion, an insult to the gods) or chatted throughout the entire thing. Some large public rituals can be very effective…unless you happen to be stuck standing next to someone unpleasant.
On the other hand, those occasions have been the exception, not the rule. I have had amazing experiences both in my first group and at open rituals at Pagan Pride Days, Pantheacon, and large regional gatherings near my area. Some of these have been truly amazing.
The only thing better has been practicing with my own coven, Blue Moon Circle. We began working together at the 2004 Spring Equinox, and despite the many challenges that face any group, we are still together today. Some of the faces are the same and some have changed, but we are still a close-knit group of women who are more like family than we are simply a group of Witches who happen to meet on the full moons and the sabbats.
If you’re lucky, you can find a group that suits you, or if you happen to know other Pagans who are also at loose ends, you might consider starting your own group. If you are all beginners, this can be tough, but there are plenty of books out there to help, including my book Circle, Coven & Grove and a few other books listed at the back of this one.
There are lots of things to consider, whether you are looking at joining a group or starting your own (or even if you are already in one and it is time for some changes). The most important aspects, though, are whether or not a group practice makes you happy, satisfies your spiritual needs, and helps you move forward on your path as an everyday Witch.
If you are already practicing with a coven of your own, it is probably good to occasionally check in with each other and make sure that you are all still getting these things from your work together. If the answer turns out to be no (as it will, eventually, in almost any group), a strong and healthy group will work together to find ways to revise and recharge their practice, changing those things that aren’t working and celebrating those things that are.
As with any relationship, communication is absolutely vital, and both the leader (or leaders) and the participants must be willing to speak up when something isn’t going well, listen to the opinions and desires of the others involved, and compromise if necessary.
Something to consider, though, is that covens (or even miscellaneous groups of witchy friends) aren’t just for celebrating the sabbats and the full moons. You can get together with these folks for all sorts of more mundane activities and simply enjoy being with people who follow the same path as you do. This is not only fun, but it also builds community and creates closer bonds. (It can also give you ways to include significant others or family members who aren’t comfortable with magickal work.)
For instance, I mentioned that Blue Moon Circle used to take camping trips together and go to a Renaissance Faire. There is also a local faerie festival that attracts Pagans and non-Pagans alike where you are always likely to run into someone else wearing a pentacle.
If you have a group of Pagans you enjoy spending time with, you may want to consider expanding your interactions from the spiritual to the mundane or mixing the two. Have a feast to celebrate a circle member’s birthday or some notable achievement. If you have a number of members or witchy friends with small children, get together for some Pagan-centric storytelling. Have a movie night featuring your favorite films about Witches. Or just get together and have fun, knowing you are with others who accept you for exactly who you are.
Learning and Teaching:
Taking Your Place in the Circle
We all start out as beginners when we walk this path. As time passes, we learn more and more about our Craft, whether that knowledge is passed down from an elder or learned from others in the community or gathered by attending classes, workshops, and rituals; studying with a high priestess or high priest; reading and researching; and just plain trial and error.
It used to be traditional for a neophyte Wiccan to study for a year and a day, receive a First Degree, study for another year and a day to achieve Second Degree status, and then, after a third year and a day, become a high priest or high priestess in their own right. After that, they often formed their own coven in a process called “hiving off.” (In some traditions it might take even longer.)
These days, things are often less formal (Blue Moon Circle doesn’t use a degree system of any kind, and no one but me has any desire to be a high priestess). Solitaries sometimes don’t get the chance to study with others at all. But one thing is always true: just as we were all once new to the path, others have followed in our footsteps and now seek wisdom and guidance just as we once did.
It is just my personal opinion, but I have always felt that if we benefited at all from someone else’s wisdom along the path (and even if you only learned from books, somebody sure as heck wrote them, sharing what they learned), it is part of our spiritual obligation to eventually pass some of that knowledge on to someone else.
I ended up writing my first book (Circle, Coven & Grove: A Year of Magickal Practice) because I had started leading Blue Moon Circle and really could have used someone to tell me what the heck I was supposed to be doing. Barring that, I looked for a book that had everything laid out for the first year of a coven’s new practice: full moon, new moon, and sabbat rituals, plus some general suggestions and advice for working together. I couldn’t find the book I was looking for…so, eventually, I wrote it.
I’m not necessarily suggesting that you have to write a book or even a blog post in order to share whatever knowledge you’ve gathered over the years. What I am suggesting is that we are essentially a small community, and there are very few places for most of us to turn when we are searching for enlightenment. And if you believe in paying it forward, as I do, passing on your own hard-earned lessons is a good way to do so.
There are various ways to take your place in the circle, and you will have to decide which ones are right for you based on a number of variables, including how open you are about your practice of the Craft, how comfortable you are teaching others, and what the need is. Maybe no one will ever ask you for help; maybe many will.
I wrote my fourth book, The Everyday Witch A to Z Spellbook, because I kept getting letters from people asking for practical, everyday spells they couldn’t find anywhere else. (“Jerk Avoidance,” anyone? Or “Potty Training”?) As a Witch with a reasonably high profile because of my books, people feel free to ask me for all sorts of advice. But if you are at all open about being a Witch, Pagan, or Wiccan, people are going to eventually ask you questions.
Here are a few ways you can take your place in the circle of knowledge:
- • Answer questions if people ask you about Witchcraft—try to be tolerant of others’ beliefs while explaining your own. Be as nonthreatening as possible with non-Pagans, and remember that most of what they know is based on bad movies and age-old religious propaganda.
- • Explain things to new Witches if they approach you. Remember that you were once a newbie too. If you don’t know the answers, try directing them to your favorite books, websites, or authors. Or just say, “I don’t know the answer—let’s see if we can find out.”
- • If you have been practicing for some time and know other local Pagans who are willing to take part, consider putting on a ritual and opening it up to either other local Witches or the public in general (depending on your comfort level and the community you live in). My former high priestess used to lead open sabbat rituals at the Unitarian Church in town, and part of my training as a high priestess was to write and present one of those. It was a truly remarkable experience that was very different from putting on a ritual for Pagans alone, and it was rewarding in an entirely different way. Lots of people who came to those open rituals said they had no idea how uplifting such a thing could be until they took part in one. Community outreach! These kinds of rituals may be the only way for some Pagans to find their own kind.
- • If you are out of the broom closet, talk to people openly (in person and online) about your spiritual beliefs as a Witch. I’m not talking about inserting “I am a Witch” into every conversation, especially if it is just people talking about going to the dentist. But if it is appropriate, be open about your own particular path. The more of us who are out there talking about our beliefs on a regular basis, the more “normal” Pagan beliefs will become.
- • Be a good example of what it is to be a Witch. Most other religions don’t have the absurd amount of prejudice and sheer misinformation to combat that we do as Pagans. So be yourself—your best self—if you are presenting yourself as a Witch in front of others. Because for better or for worse, the next Witch someone meets will be walking in your shadow.
My point, really, is that if you are comfortable teaching others on any level, it is probably a good thing to do so—not necessarily in the first year of your practice, and maybe not even in the second. But once you feel you have something to share with others, I suspect you will find those who are eagerly awaiting someone to teach them. And that’s the way the circle turns.
Simple Ways to Let Others In On the Wonderful World of Witchcraft (Without Scaring Them)
For most of us, the majority of the people in our lives follow some spiritual path that is different from the one we follow. That is neither a good thing nor a bad thing; it is simply the reality of being a Witch. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to share your path some of the time, with some of the people.
For instance, when Blue Moon Circle celebrates the sabbats (as opposed to the full moons, which we keep for Witches only), we always have a ritual followed by a feast. We not only invite other Pagans to some of these occasions, but Blue Moon members are welcome to bring their families and, sometimes, interested friends.
Admittedly, we are already a family-oriented group, to the point where we have actually taken vacations together with people’s kids and husbands. But beyond that, the sabbats (being as much about celebration as they are about magick, at least the way we do them) are a reasonably mellow way to share our witchy selves with the mundane folks in our lives.
One woman’s husband, who has no problem with her being a Witch but is uncomfortable taking part in ritual himself, comes just for the feast. That’s fine, too. The other husbands and significant others are what I’d call “Pagan friendly” (they have Pagan leanings but don’t actually practice) and are happy to come stand in circle.
If the people close to you aren’t comfortable coming to rituals or if you are a Solitary who has no desire to include others in your practice, there are other ways to share your witchy path with others.
Celebrate Holidays That Are Familiar
The easiest example is Yule. Blue Moon Circle has a Yule dinner party every year—an actual sit-down, fancy-pants kind of dinner where people dress up and we all sit around the table instead of in the living room with paper plates perched on our knees. We invite friends to this who might not otherwise come to rituals, in part because Christmas traditions are so close to Yule’s (since most of them were appropriated from the Pagans in the first place), and therefore they are more likely to be comfortable.
You can have a Yule party or a Winter Solstice gathering (I even know non-Pagans who have Solstice parties) and invite anyone you think might be open to seeing the similarities between the two holidays. Have a Yule tree instead of a Christmas tree, and decorate it with Pagan or witchy symbols. If you want to have a hands-on kind of gathering, get some fun supplies together and have people make their own ornaments to hang on the tree: stars with their wishes written on them, for instance, or edible garlands made of popcorn and cranberries.
If you will be gathering around a dinner table, you can make cards to put at each person’s place with interesting or amusing facts about the holiday, and your guests can take turns reading them out loud. Consider including the following items (or anything else that strikes your fancy):
- • The green and red colors traditionally associated with Christmas come from the colors of the holly.
- • Evergreen trees and swags were brought into the house to symbolize life in the midst of death during the cold, dark season.
- • The Solstice celebrates the return of the light (the sun), since it is the turning point in the year where the days become a little longer as the months progress toward spring.
- • Most countries have some form of “Santa Claus”: a bearded old man who comes bringing presents. It is thought that this may stem from the Pagan Oak King and Holly King, each of whom rules over half of the year. The Holly King, who rules over the dark half of the year, is overthrown at Yule by his brother, the Oak King.
- • Yule was originally a very raucous and rowdy holiday. People would “go a-wassailing” from neighbor’s house to neighbor’s house, singing songs and drinking at each place. The celebration was so wild, the church tried to ban it. In the end, they mostly adopted some of the less boisterous aspects of the holiday, and it became the one we are familiar with today.
- • If you listen to many traditional carols, they include words or terms that are clues to the Pagan origins of the holiday, such as “Yuletide merry” and “we will go a-wassailing.” (You can see how many carols people can come up with that fit this description, and the person who thinks of the most can win a prize.)
You get the idea. If you do a little research, you can come up with plenty of fun facts about the holiday to share with those who know little about the origins of the Christian holiday so many people celebrate today.
Other fun activities to do at a Yule party might include making edible decorations to hang outside for the birds (try covering pine cones or apples with peanut butter and then rolling them in birdseed; they can then be hung from trees or bushes), singing Pagan versions of Christmas carols (check YouTube for ideas), and having a couple of children act out the battle between the Oak King and the Holly King, with the victor giving out small gifts to all the guests once he is crowned.
Any of the Solstices (Winter or Summer) or Equinoxes (Fall or Spring) are good occasions to share with non-witchy friends or family, since most people are familiar with the concept.
The Spring Equinox, in particular, otherwise known as Ostara, is a good choice because of its many similarities to the Christian Easter. (Obviously, this was another holiday where they borrowed heavily from Pagan traditions, including using fertility symbols like chicks and bunnies and eggs.) Both holidays celebrate birth, rebirth, and hope.
Imbolc, which has been adapted in modern times to the more familiar Groundhog’s Day, is another holiday where you could point out a similar theme: the anticipation of the coming of spring.
You don’t necessarily have to do anything formal, either. Host a May Day or Summer Solstice barbecue or a harvest festival potluck focused on foods grown locally.
Use your imagination and have fun. Invite people who you know are interested and open-minded, and keep in mind that the occasion is all about sharing information and having a good time, not pushing your views or religion on others or putting down anyone else’s beliefs or religion.
Give a Non-Threatening Explanation of Craft Basics
One of the ways in which Witchcraft differs from other religions is that we don’t proselytize (try to persuade other people to join our religion). In fact, in the early days of Wicca, there was one tradition that said a person had to ask three times to come to a coven before they were even allowed to attend a ritual. We tend to be a little more relaxed these days and often invite people we think might have Pagan leanings, but we’re not, in general, a religious group that tries to recruit people to “convert” to our way of doing things.
In fact, one of the aspects of Paganism that appeals to me the most is that—again, generally speaking—Witches tend not to take the “we’re the only right way” attitude, instead simply wishing to be left alone to practice as we wish.
But this same hands-off approach has one disadvantage, which is that most people only get their knowledge of modern Witchcraft from bad television and worse movies or age-old anti-Witch propaganda that was part of the political power plays of days long gone by. So if you get the chance to gently share some more accurate information, this can only be a good thing for all of us.
There are a few things you might want to keep in mind while you are giving people a glimpse of the wonderful world of Witchcraft.
- • Not everyone is interested. Some folks don’t like to talk about religion or spirituality at all, and others are too prejudiced to change their views, no matter what you say, or they are simply uncomfortable with alternative religions. Save your energy to talk to someone else.
- • If people express interest or give you some kind of an opening for discussion, go slowly, and don’t dump a lot of information on them at once. For instance, people often notice when I am wearing a pentacle and may say, “Hey, isn’t that one of those Witch symbols?” In which case I explain to them about the five points representing the five elements of earth, air, fire, water, and spirit, and the circle of unity/the universe that ties them all together. For some folks, that is all the information they want, so I let it go at that. Others are clearly intrigued, so, depending on the situation, I may move on to discuss Witchcraft in more depth. (Note the word “discuss”—you want to have a conversation with give and take, not just a lecture from you.)
- • If someone asks me if I am a Witch, I always say, “Yes, in fact, I am.” Sometimes I make a joke to put them at ease, such as, “But don’t worry, I’m a good Witch, not a bad Witch” or “It’s okay—I haven’t turned anyone into a toad in years.” Many people still find Witches a little scary, so it never hurts to inject some humor into the conversation.
- • If you don’t know where to start when someone asks you about the practice of Witchcraft, you can always begin by saying it is a nature-based religion. This often puts people at ease. I go on to explain that it is based, at least loosely, on Pagan practices that many of our ancestors followed at one point or another, and that we follow natural cycles and try to stay in tune with the natural energies of the seasons, and so on.
- • You can also explain that most Witches believe in both a God and a Goddess as a reflection of the male and female that can be found elsewhere in the natural world. It is sometimes helpful to point out that Christianity has Mary, who—while not viewed as a goddess—is a very powerful and important part of their worship, or mention Brigid, who is both a goddess and a saint. I often express my belief that all deity springs from the same source, and that each of us finds a way to connect with it/him/her that suits us best.
- • People often ask me if Witches really do magick. This is an area that a lot of people are curious about and/or have serious misconceptions concerning. It can also be a little tricky to explain magick to people who have never used it. I usually try to keep it simple: I say that Witches believe that magick is just another force in the universe (like any other source of energy) that we can tap into to help us create positive change. You can point out that prayer and spells have a lot in common—they are both ways of asking for help—or that other religions use ritual in one form or another (Catholic mass is a ritual, for instance, as are many Jewish practices). Pagans just have a different approach.
Keep in mind that you are trying to spread information and understanding, not start an argument about whose religion is better. If someone responds by becoming antagonistic or appears uncomfortable, you can simply agree to disagree and change the subject.
Sharing Witchcraft with the Younger Set
If you or people in your coven have children, you may want to involve them in some witchy activities. You can include them in ritual or find other less formal ways to introduce them to their first taste of the Pagan experience.
(Just a note: never involve someone else’s children without the parents’ permission. If you have a significant other who is firmly against Witchcraft, you may want to wait or at least proceed with caution, especially if there is a divorce involved. It is sad but true that in this day and age, people can still have their children taken away from them by a judge if an opposing parent can convince the court that the children are being exposed to something dangerous. Use caution if you are in a tricky situation. Ditto if someone else’s teen comes to you and wants to learn without a parent’s permission. You have to use your own best judgment in cases like these.)
Nature is a perfect venue for beginning an exploration of Pagan thoughts and practices. Depending on the age of the child, you can come up with various crafts and activities that provide ways to interact with and connect to nature, and perhaps explain as you do them a little something about the history of Pagans and their connection to the land.
Make birdfeeders or birdhouses, start a small garden, go for a walk in the woods—it doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. Integrate music such as chanting, drumming, or playing a simple flute. Rattles are a great musical instrument for small children, and there are some easy ones you can make yourself. (Dried beans in an empty container with a lid—poof, instant rattle!)
Try discussing the elements and doing projects that address each one. What child doesn’t like to play with water? You don’t necessarily need to invent new activities; just figure out how to take things you already do and give them a witchy slant. Flying a kite, for instance, can be a way to commune with air, and picking up pretty rocks or a special branch to make into a wand can lead to a discussion of earth. Need a good activity for fire? Try roasting marshmallows carefully over an open flame.
If you have children (or even if you don’t), you may want to integrate a witchy element into fun and relaxing activities. Put out food for the faeries while you tend the garden. Send wishes out into the universe as you blow bubbles or draw magickal symbols on the ground with colored chalk. And don’t forget to tell wonderful magickal stories through song and chanting.
Obviously, the age and interest level of the children involved (and how deeply you want to delve into the world of Witchcraft with them) will determine, to some extent, what kind of activities you want to do. But in general, the sky’s the limit.
Don’t forget to take advantage of books while you are at it. There are plenty of great stories about some of the gods, especially Greek, Roman, Celtic, and Egyptian ones, as well as many fairy tales that have a Pagan flair. There are also some fictional books about Witches that don’t feature Witches as scary old women who eat children, although most of them don’t talk about modern Witches in any kind of realistic manner, of course. (Last time I checked, my kind of magick bore very little resemblance to that wielded by Harry Potter, alas.)
There are also some great books for people who want ideas for sharing their spiritual practice with their children. I’ve listed a few at the back of the book.
It’s All About Connection
Regardless of whether you are working with a group of like-minded Witches, sharing your knowledge with those seeking to learn more, or sharing your spiritual practice with friends and family, it all comes down to connection.
To me, that is what being a Witch is all about: connecting with nature, yes; connecting with the God and Goddess, definitely; and also connecting with other people in a positive and uplifting way—coming together to celebrate, to learn, and to create. Even a Solitary Witch interacts with others from time to time, even if not during her practice of Witchcraft.
I encourage you to find new and wonderful ways to make this connection on one level or another. You might be surprised by how much joy you will find.
My middle child was diagnosed on the autism spectrum at three years old. As my son grew, we struggled to find a place where both he and I were comfortable socializing. Things have improved a lot over the last decade as far as awareness and inclusion, but there is still work to be done.
As parents of kids with special needs, we so often have to see our kids passed over. There are a million little disappointments for our kids, and any person or group that gives them the chance to participate and shine is going to have our love and loyalty. Whether you are an individual trying to include a friend’s child with autism into your sabbat celebration or you are working to plan a large event such as a Pagan Pride function, here are a few ideas to get you started on creating an inclusive gathering.
Obviously, every special-needs child (and adult) will have different needs. Communication between the event planner and the hopeful attendees is so very important; it also needs to go in both directions. As parents, we need to step up and let our friends and our event coordinators know that our kids are coming and start a conversation on what it would take for our kids to be able to participate. At the same time, we also have to realize that compromise is going to be key. Even better, volunteer for the planning stages so that making changes toward inclusion becomes a priority.
There are many people who have kids with differences who just give up on the idea of being able to attend events. If you are planning something small, just ask your friends how best to include their children and really listen to what they are telling you.
If you are helping to organize a larger event, start at the very beginning by adding a contact person as a special-needs coordinator (for all ages). Consider having a “quiet area” for kids who are overwhelmed by all the noise and bustle, and remember the “three S” plan: keep it short, simple, and similar.
Though every group of kids is going to be different, keeping things short will help keep their attention focused. Keep it simple: keep the language simple to understand and simplify the steps as much as possible. I have a friend who is on the autism spectrum who helps her parents call the quarters during ritual with a simple call of “Hi, air!”
That brings us to keeping it similar. All kids like to know what they are in store for, but for many kids with special needs, it’s the difference between having a successful outing or not. Repeat ritual elements from year to year and, if possible, send out an email notice 2–3 weeks before the event, with a short rundown of the event so that parents can start prepping the kids who need it.
If you can, give each child a “job” during ritual. Offer every child in attendance a way to participate, whether you cast the circle “conga-line” style (letting everyone move around the circle) or in a small group (allowing everyone a speaking part in calling quarters). If there are nonverbal participants, give them a drum to beat or a rattle to shake or have them call using sign language. If you aren’t sure what job works best for each child, ask the parents ahead of time.
Lastly, please consider your location when making plans, and make it as accessible as possible. As more and more families every year are working around the special needs of their children, and as more families are finding their faith under the Pagan umbrella, it’s so important for us to bring those two worlds together and celebrate Pagans of every ability.
It has been many years since I began teaching about women making ritual together. Every book I have written since (nine titles) contains some more information: how to adjust the rituals to different purposes; how to bend it, vary it, and still have it down solid. I have ordained twelve high priestesses who, in turn, have ordained others. The sacred work of women’s mysteries is happening nicely all over the world.
Every so often I go to a circle and have a reality check. Many women’s circles are satisfied with just the “clinical” variety—a workshop parading as a circle. Good intentions are not enough here. You either deliver a spiritual power-raising experience or you teach about it only. One is called a sacred circle; the other is called a workshop. Yes, the two can follow each other, but they cannot occur at the same time.
There is a huge difference between a workshop and a ritual. But we need them both. Let me explain.
In a workshop the left brain is engaged. The workshop teaches skills. There is a lot of talk: there may be a book reading involved or sharing stories, talking, writing on little pieces of paper, burning them, sending around a mirror or a bowl of water, changing the activity into something else. Focusing the attention of the women on an aspect of the Goddess and getting deeper—all this is workshopping.
We need this in the beginning stages of the Path. We need to refurbish our minds with the ancient mythology; we need to learn the aspects of the Goddess, she of the ten thousand names. A workshop is like going to a good magic school.
Then what is the circle? It’s a temple that is portable. It is a fresh encounter with the divine feminine. It’s a structured event where we have to dress up the form with all contributing. There is a leader of energies, the high priestess. Like the conductor of an orchestra, a good high priestess employs us in the circle according to our strengths and asks us to contribute without disrupting the right-brain activities.
A good ritual uses mostly the right brain—the old brain. This is where all our genetic memories are kept. This is where words have little meaning, only chanting, singing, scents, dances, touching, eating, dancing, kissing. A good ritual shouldn’t last longer than an hour. Anything that goes beyond an hour will crash the energies.
Every step has to give way to the next step; it has to hang together like a well-made macramé. Just like the dark space that holds the visible universe together, the high priestess’s watchful instincts hold together the energy of the circle.
A good ritual has a definite beginning, a middle with a purpose, and a satisfying, well-grounded end. I bring magical play to the circle, which engages the women. I call out, “The goddess is alive!” and they answer, “Magic is afoot.” Then we each say our names—“Z is alive”—and after each name everybody answers, “Magic is afoot!” It takes a little time to say all of our names if the circle is large, but it is still active, and everyone is engaged.
Then there is the candle-lighting-with-wishes part, which is normally the middle of a circle. Women come to ask for help in their lives, which is the role of good spirituality: give a framework for humans to ask for divine intervention. This is known as the power of prayer in all religions. In ours we do it while lighting an appropriately colored candle, and we open our arms and pray from the heart.
The end of the ritual also must be organic. You will feel when the energy is waning; you don’t wait until it all runs out of steam. You create a power cone again, pulling together; at the end, the energy should peak. So let it soar! The closing part of the circle is love. You either hug each other in a group hug, which is very grounding, or you proceed to have the feast for the Goddess, which also will beautifully ground you.
So please be clear on whether you are having a circle or a workshop.
We must develop and insist on higher-quality food for our souls. It takes a little devotion, a little good will, and a divine sense of the fleeting sacred. This is a good ritual.