ASTRID ROLLED THE DICE. “Ha, ten spaces.” She hugged Nova against her side. “See.”
“You are the bestest teammate ever.” Nova sat up on her knees, watching their game piece move around the board. “We passed the Go.” She clapped her hands together.
“Another two hundred dollars.” Charlie counted out the bills and slid them to Nova.
“You landed on Chance.” Halley pointed at their game piece.
Astrid saw Nova frown. “Chance is bad.” Nova sighed. “It takes all your money away.” She gave a thumbs-down.
“Maybe not.” Astrid took the Chance card Benji offered her. “Oh, Nova, you’re right. It does take money. But not ours. Every player must pay us twenty dollars.”
Nova clapped her hands again. Her enthusiasm was contagious.
“We should give up.” Halley sat back in her chair, but she was smiling. “Astrid and Nova are totally kicking butt.”
“Halley,” Charlie murmured.
She rolled her eyes. “Astrid and Nova are totally winning.”
For all the eye rolling, there was no edge to Halley’s words. Astrid suspected she was having a good time. It probably helped that she was interacting with people close to her own age.
“Never give up.” Benji handed over his twenty dollars and reached for the dice. “Underdogs have their day. Every once in a while.”
“You’re not under a dog, Benji.” Nova laughed. “That’s just silly.”
“You’re right, squirt.” Halley laughed, too. “He’s not.”
“It’s an expression.” Charlie leaned forward, reaching across the game board for a cookie. “Underdog. It means someone who isn’t likely to win but keeps fighting.”
“It was also a movie.” Benji looked like he’d tasted something awful. “It was really bad, though.”
“Your face.” Nova laughed.
Benji was good at making faces. He made another over-the-top expression, and both Nova and Halley were laughing.
Charlie stirred then, his gaze bouncing back and forth between Halley and Benji. Astrid could almost hear the wheels turning inside his head. The slight thinning of his mouth had Astrid wanting to reassure Charlie that it was okay. Benji was a good kid. He was responsible, funny and not girl-crazy.
“Benji is our resident film expert.” Kerrielynn hugged Benji. “He knows everything about movies.”
“Because he watches too many of them.” Leif shook his head.
“Can you watch too many movies?” Benji shrugged.
“Yes.” Nova sounded off. “Charlie says you can rot your brains out if you watch too many.” She looked gravely concerned. “Are your brains okay, Benji?”
Astrid glanced Charlie’s way. He was having a hard time not smiling.
Benji managed to cover his laugh. “I think so.”
“Are they? Are they, though?” Leif scratched his chin.
“Be nice.” Kerrielynn frowned. “Also, let me remind you he has, like, the highest GPA in the whole school. Which means his brain is great, Nova. Don’t you worry.”
“Whew.” Nova took a deep breath. “I’m glad. You know brains are important.”
“He knows, Nova.” Halley shook her head. “What’s your favorite movie?”
“I don’t have one.” But Benji sat back, contemplating the question.
“He has many.” Nicole looked up from the knitting pattern she’d spread out on the side table. Shelby and Nicole were determined to learn how to knit. And since knitting was something Aunt Camellia could do with her eyes closed, she’d offered to help teach them. “I can tell you which ones he’s watched over and over.” She stared at the knot of yarn hanging off one of her knitting needles.
“Oh, dear.” Camellia eyed the knot. “How did that happen?”
“Natural talent, I guess.” Nicole handed over the knitting needle.
“Which movies?” Halley emphasized the plural.
Nicole started rattling off a list of movies but Astrid was distracted by the way Charlie propped his arm on the table. Resting along her arm. There were so many of them squished in, tight, around the table it wouldn’t necessarily be obvious to anyone watching. But it was to Astrid. Charlie didn’t touch, even accidentally. Unless he wanted to.
She glanced his way—to find him studying her arm. His expression was unreadable. True Charlie. He seemed transfixed, his gaze leisurely running down the inside of her arm to her wrist. Then he glanced her way. His eyes gave him away. The hunger, the fire, was for her. And it was exhilarating.
“We saw that at the movie theater, didn’t we, Astrid?” Tansy asked.
“What movie?” Astrid scrambled. There were other people in the room. A whole lot of other people, actually. That Charlie was looking at her, like that, with such an audience was more than a little surprising. And delightful.
Tansy was smiling from ear to ear. “The last Thor movie.”
Dane shot her a look. “How do you always manage to slip Thor into every conversation?”
“Not every conversation. But, if I do, it’s because he looks like you.” She leaned against Dane’s well-muscled shoulder. “Remember, Astrid? The one where Dane won the Thor lookalike contest—even though he didn’t enter.” She fluttered her eyes. “My big, hunky superhero.”
Dane kissed the tip of her nose. “That’s me.”
“Gag.” Leif made a series of choking noises. “Get a room.”
“I guess the rain has put a wrinkle in your weekend getaway to Weaver Bee Farm?” Astrid knew Tansy had been looking forward to it. A lot.
“There are other weekends.” Dane draped an arm along the back of Tansy’s chair, his hand resting on her shoulder.
“What happens when it rains? For the bees, I mean?” Charlie asked, drawing all eyes his way.
Was he really curious or was he being polite? Astrid was so excited, her words floundered.
“They take shelter,” Dane started. “They’re really good at sensing a weather change so, on days like today, they’re prepared.”
“What if a bee gets stuck outside the hive?” Halley moved her token and counted out money to buy the property she’d landed on.
“They’ll take shelter somewhere and wait it out.” Astrid glanced at the window. “But Dane’s right. Most honey bees stay close to home when a big front rolls.”
“Astrid has a sixth sense about bees.” Tansy smiled. “We call her the Bee Whisperer.”
“Do you whisper to the bees?” Nova used her not-so-soft whisper voice.
“She does. And she uses her manners, too.” Tansy leaned forward, her face animated. “Last time we collected a hive—”
“From the barbecue thingie?” Nova asked.
“Yes, that.” Tansy nodded. “We tried and tried to find the queen. I was ready to give up and try again later, but Astrid is stubborn.”
“Determined,” Astrid cut in.
“Potayto-potahto, whatever.” Tansy waved her aside.
“Without the queen, the bees don’t want to leave the hive.” Benji jumped in, speaking directly to Nova.
“How did you find her?” Halley waited, her money in her hands. “The queen?”
“Astrid talked to her.” Tansy paused for affect. “She was sweet and complimentary and calm, explaining that we were trying to help them and that we’d never hurt them. It coaxed the queen into walking right out so Astrid could put her into her little condo clip until we could get them moved and settled.”
“Condo clip?” Dane chuckled.
“I was telling a story. I thought it sounded better than just clip.” Tansy shrugged.
“I’ve seen her do it.” Leif sat back in his chair. “Talk to the bees. Seriously.”
“Me, too.” Aunt Magnolia looked up from her crossword puzzle.
“And find a swarm.” Aunt Camellia was still trying to fix Nicole’s mess of yarn. “And she was so mad at herself for not splitting the hive before it happened. You are too hard on yourself, Astrid.”
Astrid shot her aunt a smile.
“You want to find a swarm?” Halley glanced at Benji. “That sounds like a bad thing.”
“It isn’t great.” Astrid did feel bad for not saving the bees the hassle. She’d known they were going to swarm, but she’d thought she’d had more time. “Bees normally swarm when they’re overcrowded. They go out like a big cloud with the queen safe inside the very middle. Scout bees go out to try to find a new home but, if you’re a keeper, you do it for them.”
“You find the swarm, get the queen bee into a new hive box and the bees will follow.” Leif explained, reaching for the dice.
“How did you know where to find the swarms?” Nova was staring up at her with big eyes. “Is it magic?”
“No.” Astrid shook her head, smiling.
“Maybe,” Tansy cut in. “I sure didn’t know.”
“Astrid does have a...connection with the bees.” Aunt Camellia handed the knitting needles back to Nicole. “Poppa Tom, my father and Astrid’s grandfather, said she had the touch. And Poppa Tom was magic when it came to bees.”
“Wow.” Nova was still staring at her now.
“It’s not magic, Nova.” Astrid gave her another hug. “I’m just a really good listener. That’s all. Bees, like people, can tell us things without using words. You just have to be patient and watch.”
“But people don’t sting you.” Nova said this very matter-of-factly.
“I don’t know about that.” Dane chuckled, earning an eye roll from Tansy.
“People can do far worse,” Nicole muttered.
Poor Nicole. Astrid couldn’t imagine having a mother like Willadeene. She couldn’t imagine not having the love and support of the people right here in this room. To grow up with something less was unfathomable.
“Mom.” Benji shook his head. “Way to read the room and keep things light.”
That made everyone laugh.
Everyone except Charlie. He was staring out the window at the dark sky. She didn’t know much about his family. How had he grown up? Rebecca implied he hadn’t had the best childhood but she’d never said much more than that. The older woman had loved Charlie, that much she knew for sure.
The rain was still pounding the roof but no one seemed to care. Astrid wasn’t sure what was making her happier: how much Halley and Nova were enjoying themselves or how relaxed Charlie appeared to be. The game wrapped up almost an hour later.
“We won, we won.” Nova was ecstatic. “I’ve never won Monopoly before, Astrid.”
A clap of thunder startled the room into silence.
The pitter-patter of rain went back to a heavy downpour, earning an “Oh, dear” from Aunt Camellia. “I’d best go check the attic. Make sure that patch is holding and there’s no leak.”
“I’ll go.” Astrid hopped up.
Aunt Camellia’s last doctor’s appointment had revealed high blood pressure—alarming the entire family. While she and Van took long walks each and every day, Astrid didn’t like the idea of her aunt tripping over one of the trunks or boxes filling the space in order to patch the roof.
“If it is leaking, it’s not a one-person job.” Aunt Magnolia spoke up. “Charles, why don’t you lend a hand?” She didn’t look up from her book this time.
Dane’s chuckle was cut short when Tansy smacked him on the arm.
“Oh, I can do it.” Astrid was beyond mortified. Not only was her family trying to set her up, they weren’t even bothering to be subtle about it.
“I don’t mind.” Charlie stood, seemingly unaware of the not-so-subtle maneuvering happening around them. Instead, he listened as Aunt Mags led him to one of the many cabinets.
“You’ll need duct tape. A bucket. Oh, good, we have tar paper.” Aunt Magnolia dropped each item into the bucket she’d given Charlie.
What are you up to? Astrid mouthed at her sister.
Tansy had the gall to shrug. Dane, however, laughed and kept laughing even after Tansy smacked his shoulder again.
“You help me put away the Monopoly, Nova.” Halley took her sister’s hand. “And when that’s done, if Charlie says it’s okay, Benji is going to play a movie for us.”
“Not a scary movie?” Nova glanced at Halley.
“Nope.” She shook her head. “Not scary.”
“Okay.” Nova shrugged. “Can we watch a movie, Charlie?”
He nodded. “As long as it’s age appropriate.”
“It’s a cartoon movie about superhero pets.” Benji waited.
Nova’s sharp inhalation was followed by her whole body tensing up and then bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Superhero pets?” she squeaked.
“Fine.” The corner of Charlie’s mouth quirking up as Nova sped from the room.
“Guess I’ll put the game away.” Halley smiled her thanks as Kerrielynn helped out.
Astrid couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw Halley and Aunt Camellia exchange a wink as the girls, Leif and Benji headed for the family room. Was everyone in on this? Did Charlie really not pick up on what was happening? Her cheeks were on fire.
“Everyone is settled?” Aunt Camellia took in the mostly empty kitchen and tied on her apron. “I’ll start dinner. I’m not sure Van will make it, with the storm and all, but it looks like we’ll have a full house, regardless.”
“Your favorite kind.” Aunt Mags stood and joined her, sliding an apron on and coming to her sister’s side. “What can I do?”
Astrid was very aware of Charlie at her shoulder. “Okay, then.” She didn’t look at him; she couldn’t. Tansy was watching her like a hawk. “Let’s go.”
Charlie followed her back up the stairs to the second floor and down the hall, past her bedroom, to the end of the hallway. The farther away from the kitchen and the family room and everyone else in the house, the harder it was not to turn around and throw herself at Charlie. “Attic.” She opened the door that led to the attic stairs.
“I can probably do this on my own.” He flipped a switch on the wall and the attic light turned on.
“I don’t think that’s what Aunt Magnolia had in mind,” she murmured. Or the rest of her family, for that matter. “It’s a big space. I’ll show you.” But the truth was she didn’t need her sister or aunts or anyone maneuvering for her. She was exactly where she wanted to be. She wasn’t going to walk away from some alone time with Charlie—even if it was in a dark, dusty, cobweb-laden, musty-smelling attic.
SINCE HE’D FIRST pulled Astrid into his arms, Charlie had been in a constant state of flux. Part of him had never been happier. The other part was lost and terrified. Today had triggered something troubling—something beyond his control. If she was close, he had to touch her. Had to. At the table, if his arm wasn’t against hers, his knee was. If they weren’t touching, he was looking at her. The slightest contact and he was fine. Without it, he felt off-balance. He didn’t know how to undo it. He’d agreed to come help purely for the opportunity to kiss Astrid again. It was all too much, too fast.
“So.” Even with the space between them, the pull was magnetic. He ran a hand over his face. “Where is the patch in the roof?” He made the mistake of glancing her way. “Astrid?” If she kept looking at him like that, his self-control would go out the window.
She blinked, visibly shook herself and walked around him. “Back here.”
Instead of staring at her back and watching the way the skirt of her pale blue dress swayed when she walked, he forced his attention to his surroundings. Old steamer trunks, suitcases and aged brown boxes lined the walls and created mazelike partitions throughout the space. There were overflowing bookshelves, a mannequin, several metal racks packed full with plastic-covered clothing, and a coat tree with a dozen or more hats. “What is all this?”
“Bits and pieces of my family’s history. After we lost our parents, my sisters and I came to live here with the aunts and my grandparents. This was one of our favorite places to play. Most of the time. Once, the mannequin fell over on Rosemary and she screamed so loud Poppa Tom said he’d leaped over the kitchen table to get here. He had a Santa belly, so the imagery had Rosemary laughing away her fears. We put a quilt over the mannequin until she forgot about it. Let’s be honest, mannequins can be scary.” Astrid smiled back at him.
He glanced at the faceless figure and nodded. Nova would probably have a similar reaction.
“Sometimes Aunt Mags would come up with us. She liked to organize little plays or fashion shows.” Astrid ran her hand along the top of a scarred chest of drawers.
“What about her daughter, Shelby?” There was no denying Shelby was Magnolia’s daughter. From the deep red hair to the probing nature of their dark green gaze, they were both slightly intimidating.
“Oh, Shelby wasn’t here.” Astrid tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her face shadowing. “We didn’t know Shelby existed until a few months ago. Mags was very young when she had Shelby so she gave her baby up for adoption—hoping she’d have two loving parents and a family that could better care for her.”
“I didn’t know. You all seem at ease with one another.” Aunt Rebecca was the only person he’d ever been that close to. But he’d been a child then. As an adult, his letters took the place of his visits.
“Dane said the Hills make you part of the family, whether you like it or not.” Astrid smiled. “I guess that’s true. Mags says the family of our heart will always find us. I guess that’s true, too.”
He had a hard time picturing Magnolia Hill saying such a flowery, sentimental statement. But, then again, he couldn’t picture her playing up here with her nieces. He had no problem imagining little Astrid and little Tansy donning hats and spinning in front of the large mirror propped against the far wall. He could imagine Nova and Halley doing the same.
“On bad weather days, we’d spend hours playing dress-up.” Astrid patted one of the chests. “Clothing and gloves, fascinators and jewelry. Every little girl wants a dress-up box. We had that, plus some.”
“Bad weather only?” It was such an odd thing to say that he needed clarification.
“If the weather was good, we were outside.” Astrid squeezed between an antique wardrobe and a grandfather clock. “With the bees.”
“With the bees.” He shook his head. “Even when you were little?” He couldn’t forget what her precious bees were capable of.
“Our bees are gentle. Sadly, you’ve yet to see that, but it’s true.” She dusted her hands off on one another. “Poppa Tom had zero tolerance for a hot hive.”
“Am I supposed to know what that means?” Beekeeping was a whole other world. But if Astrid loved it, there had to be some good in it.
She smiled at him. “No. It just means bad-tempered.”
“Are the Hill bees sent to some sort of etiquette school?” He was terrible at jokes so it was a surprise to hear her laugh.
“No.” She was still laughing. “You’re funny.”
“I’m really not.” Her laughter caused a series of physical reactions. Palms sweaty, throat tight, the urgent need to put his hands on her. He flexed his hands and shoved them into his pockets.
“That was funny,” she argued. “Etiquette school.” She shook her head. “No, you requeen a hive with a docile, laying queen and she’ll take care of the rest.”
He was too busy trying to breathe and get a hold of himself to keep the conversation going.
The thunder sounded especially loud in the cavernous space. Through the dormer windows in the wall, the flicker of lightning cast long shadows across the wooden floor. It was the sudden surge in rain that reminded him why they were there. He looked up, scanning the ceiling for any spots or discoloration.
“It was really bad over here—the repair is on Aunt Mags to-do list.” Astrid climbed over an especially large trunk and stopped. “No sign of water.” She pushed her hair from her shoulders and nodded. “Thankfully.”
Astrid’s hair fascinated him. The way the light revealed different shades of red, gold and copper. It moved with an almost fluid grace.
“I guess we’re done up here. Unless you want to dress up?” She was smiling until her eyes met his. Then she froze. She swallowed and drew in a deep, unsteady breath.
“I overheard you and you sister.” The words came out far gruffer than he’d intended. “Earlier. Talking about kissing frogs.”
Her cheeks went scarlet.
“I...” He hadn’t meant to say a thing but, somehow, words were still coming. “You might have plenty of frogs in your past but I...I don’t.” These weren’t good words. “I don’t.”
“No. I don’t have a lot of frogs in my past, Charlie.” Astrid swallowed again.
“I mean, none.” He forced the words out and braced himself. He was a grown man. Grown men didn’t choose to be celibate. But, for him, the alternative held no appeal.
Astrid blinked. “Kissing?”
“Like today?” He shook his head. “I don’t know what the hell this is. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. And, to be frank, I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
Astrid drew in an unsteady breath.
He waited, hoping she’d argue or say something that would prevent all his locked-up childhood insecurities and self-loathing from getting out. Anything.
“I understand.” She hugged herself.
“No, you don’t.” He ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing.
“I want to understand.” Her words were a whisper.
He stared at her. How could he explain? Did he want to? “You grew up with all this. Your aunts, your grandparents—they supported you? Accepted you?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“That’s not always the case.” It was hard to go on. “I grew up knowing I was different.” He used air quotes and added, “Special.” He’d learned to hate that word. “My family made sure of that.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t like groups of people. Or new people. Words... I’d rather not talk. Which translates into being rude or inconsiderate or stupid. I can’t...” He broke off.
He didn’t realize Astrid had moved until her hand rested on his arm.
“Eye contact.” He shook his head. “Emotions. Feelings. Touch.” He kept on shaking his head but took her hand. “This isn’t normal for me.” He stared at their hands. “But you... I want to touch you.” And it scared the shit out of him. He glanced her way, hating that he’d revealed so much. He’d laid himself bare and now she could laugh at him or rip him to shreds.
“I’m so sorry, Charlie.” Her hand squeezed his. “I’m sorry no one stood up for you.”
He wasn’t looking for pity. “Eventually, I stood up for myself.” He cleared his throat. “Now I don’t need anyone’s approval. I don’t want it. It’s better that way. No one to—”
“Hurt you?” She sounded so sad.
He’d made her sad. Dammit. “No. Get in the way.”
“Am I getting in the way?”
“Yes.” He gripped her hand when she went to pull away. “No.” He turned to face her. “I don’t know, Astrid.” What the hell was he trying to accomplish?
She was silent for a long time before she asked, “Why do you want to touch me, Charlie?”
His throat was too tight to answer, so he shook his head.
Her eyes were searching for something.
“You...you make me feel. Alive.” The words were out, hanging between them, and all he could do was hold his breath and wait for her response.
“That’s bad?” She didn’t move.
He nodded. “No.”
Her smile lit her up from the inside and spilled out into the room. Light and warm and all-encompassing.
He’d stand here for hours to watch her smile. It was so powerful it held all his worry and disbelief at bay. He knew this would never work. He accepted he’d be left more broken than ever when it was over. But he wasn’t strong enough to resist her. Hell, he didn’t want to. Whatever this was, he wanted it. He wanted her.
She squeezed his hand.
“What do you want? You’re going to have to tell me or show me, Astrid. If you don’t, I will screw up.” He took one step, then another, stopping when her hands rested against his chest and she was staring up at him.
“You won’t, Charlie.” She stood on tiptoe. “But I’ll show you.” Her lips met his.
He caught her against him, his mouth hungry for her. Warm. Astrid was warm. Everything about her. Her lips. Her mouth. He wanted to drown in her warmth. He was free to run his fingers through her hair. It was silky soft, thick and heavy, slipping between his fingers like water. The more he kissed her, the more he wanted. How could something be fragile, yet so potent?
She clung to him, trembling, as his mouth trailed along the arch of her neck. The taste of her was intoxicating. Not just her mouth, but her skin. Her temple and cheek, chin and neck, and the hollow at the juncture of her collarbone. Astrid saturated each and every one of his senses.
But laughter from downstairs had them stepping apart.
“Shall we?” Astrid asked, steering them back to the stairs once he’d nodded.
He wasn’t ready to have to explain this to Halley or Nova. Whatever this was. So much had changed and, at the same time, nothing had. After they’d been through so much, he didn’t want to confuse things. And the facts remained the same.
He would dispose of Rebecca’s property—to Lindsay. Or not.
He and the girls would go back to Fort Worth.
That was the plan. It was a good plan. Logical. So why did his stomach feel hollow and cold?