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September 1950
Ellen stood next to her brother, looking at the coffin that would soon be lowered into the freshly dug grave. Her mother had died last summer of uterine cancer, and it had taken less than a year before her father suffered a heart attack and died. She had always considered her father strong and independent, but he had seemed to wither overnight after the loss of his wife. Ellen wondered if that was what happened when a couple were married for so long, that one just could not go on for long without the other. She had often thought that losing Abraham felt like she was dying. Maybe if she had been in her sixties, instead of her twenties, if they had been together for decades, maybe then she really would have died with the pain of his loss.
After the funeral, they returned to the old ranch house where Ellen and her brother had grown up, where their parents had lived for most of their married lives. It was full of food and full of people; friends, family, neighbors. They all came to pay their respects and they all brought casseroles and cookies. Her sister-in-law would not have to cook for a month, Ellen thought. Her brother and sister-in-law lived in the house, having lived there for most of their married lives, as well.
It was nice to see people that she had not seen in years, or only briefly, when she came to visit the family. She noticed the Yasuhiro family and it surprised her how much they had all changed. The children had grown up, of course. Mr. Yasuhiro had always been a strong, active man. Ellen did not know what had happened to them in the internment camp during the war, but since returning home, Mr. Yasuhiro was a changed man. Almost overnight, he seemed to shrink and grow old. They were fortunate to have been able to leave their orange grove in the care of Ellen’s brother and father. They had returned to good crops and money in the bank. Ellen had heard that many Japanese, while in the camps, had lost their land and everything they owned.
Once the guests had gone, Ellen helped Joyce clean up. They put most of the casseroles in the freezer, and a few in the refrigerator for dinners for the next few nights. Henry and Joyce’s son, Henry Jr., would be leaving on Sunday to go back to college in San Francisco, where he was studying to be a pharmacist. Her niece, Pauline, was a high school senior.
“Hey, Sis,” Henry said, walking into the kitchen. “Can you come into Dad’s office for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.”
Ellen smiled. Henry had taken over managing the ranch years ago. He had taken over the office, as well, but he still called it “Dad’s office.” She followed him to the back of the house and sat down in a chair as he settled behind the big desk.
“I talked to Dad’s lawyer about the will,” he told her. “Dad left a little money to the kids, for their college educations. But he split everything down the middle between you and me.”
“What?” Ellen was genuinely surprised. “Oh, Henry, that can’t be! He must have left the ranch to you. You’ve lived and worked here all your life. You basically ran it by yourself the last few years.”
“We have an appointment with the lawyer tomorrow, and that’s what he’s gonna tell you, Sis. We are to share evenly in the ranch.”
“I’ll just turn my share over to you, then. I’ve been gone since I was 18. You shouldn’t have to share with me.”
“You don’t understand, Ellen. Dad did this to take care of you.”
“Take care of me? Why? I’m a doctor, I make a good living. I don’t need a dowry, for heaven’s sake!”
“I know that, but you know how Dad is... was. You were his little girl and he thought he was responsible for you until you had a husband to take care of you.”
Ellen sighed and rested her elbow on the arm of the chair, propping her chin on her hand. She gave a weary laugh.
“Well, since that isn’t likely to happen, I hope Dad left enough to take care of me in my old age.”
“C’mon... you aren’t so old, you know,” Henry chuckled. “You aren’t an old maid yet. You could still meet someone. Isn’t there anyone you know that you could see yourself married to?”
“No... I just can’t see myself married at all. Doc Ramsey even tried setting me up with his son.”
“Yeah? How did that go?”
Ellen shrugged. “He’s a nice guy... a lawyer. We went out a few times. He was interesting and funny, but I don’t think I’m suited to be married. I like my life the way it is. I have my work. I have my books and I have friends. I just don’t have an overwhelming desire for romance.”
“What about when you were living in LA,” Henry said carefully.
“What about it?”
“Wasn’t there someone there? Someone you... dated?”
Ellen became very still and stared at her brother. “Why do you ask that?”
“Because that Christmas you came home... it was before the war, so it must have been 1940. You seemed... different. Joyce and I thought maybe there was someone back in LA waiting for you.”
“No,” she said, standing up. “There was no one.” She smoothed her skirt. “Look, tomorrow when we go see the lawyer, I’m going to tell him I want to sign my share over to you. That’s the right thing to do.”
“Hey, I didn’t upset you, did I,” Henry asked, moving around the desk and putting his arm around her shoulders.
“No, no... of course not.”
“Look... this is what Dad wanted and I won’t let you just give me your share. I’ll buy you out. Fair market value,” he added.
“Oh you men and your antiquated ideals of womanhood,” Ellen said with a sigh. She hugged him tightly for a moment. “OK, you can buy me out. But not a penny over fair market value... understand?”
“I gotcha, Sis,” he said with a grin.
Henry did buy Ellen’s share in the orange groves. Ellen put the money in the bank and began planning to buy or build a small apartment building. With the money Mr. Thomas paid her, Ellen had been able to start her own women’s clinic in downtown Fresno. She started with just a few patients, but her practice grew quickly. The war had ended and the post-war economy was booming. Women who had worked in factories to support the war effort left their jobs to stay home and have babies. Soon Ellen’s practice was booming along with the economy.
Most of her patients were married women, thrilled to be pregnant. Through word of mouth, her secret practice grew as well. Women seeking abortions, young girls wanting to give their babies up for adoption, childless couples desperate to adopt a baby. Ellen never tried to sway a woman who did not want, or could not care for, her baby. Whatever the woman wanted, abortion or adoption, Ellen would carry out their wishes. Nevertheless, the childless couples made up the most lucrative part of her practice. What she charged them varied according to what she felt they could afford, but it was pricey for any of them.
Girls came to her from outlying small communities and Ellen put them up in hotels at first, then she began renting cheap apartments for them. Not only did they need a place to stay throughout their pregnancies, but also she wanted them close by for follow-up. It had never set well with her that she simply dropped Sarah Odem off at her home hours after giving birth. Ellen had no idea for weeks if Sarah was all right.
Then Sarah had shown up as Ellen was planning her new clinic. She regretted giving her baby up and wanted to find her... to get her back. Ellen had talked her out of it, telling her that the baby was with a good family and that it would cost her a lot of money to hire a lawyer to challenge the adoption.
Sarah finally gave up, but came back on the baby’s first birthday and gave Ellen a letter addressed to her child. She asked her to give it to the parents. Ellen took the letter, promising she would pass it on but she didn’t. She didn't intend to give that letter to them. She also didn't have any intention of telling Sarah that she lied about the adoption. There was no adoption. She had simply filled out the birth certificate, using Lucille and Eugene Thomas’s names. Each year on her baby's birthday, Sarah returned to the clinic with a letter. Ellen assured her that she was giving the letters to the adoptive parents, but kept them in a file in her office.
Now, with money she had saved since opening her clinic, and the money her brother paid her for the orange groves, she began looking around for a location close to the clinic. She finally found an empty lot five blocks from the clinic and bought it. Next, she started a search for a contractor to build on it. Gerald Ramsey, Doc’s son, told her about the contractor his friends had used to build their house. They said he did excellent work, so she called him and made an appointment.
The first moment she saw Angelo Goldberg, he took her breath away. Tall, over six feet, broad shoulders and thick, well-muscled arms with brown hair brushed back from his high forehead; his dark brown eyes gazed at her with amusement. He didn't look like Abraham, but something in the way Angelo looked at her made her feel the same way she had felt with Abraham. He never said anything inappropriate but his eyes were dark with heat and his mouth smiled seductively.
Ellen’s attraction to Angelo did nothing to stop her from being demanding about what she wanted. They argued frequently and loudly; over the phone, in her office, at the construction site. He told her she should stick to doctoring and leave building to him. She called him boorish and condescending. Slowly the apartments took shape; a triplex, with each apartment containing three bedrooms and one and a half bathrooms. If necessary, Ellen would be able to house up to nine girls, although it was rare to have so many at any one time.
One day Angelo called Ellen and asked her to come by the building site after she finished work. He said that he wanted to show her some tiles for the bathrooms. When she arrived, all the carpenters and plumbers were gone; only Angelo was there. He took her into the small trailer that served as his office and showed her the tiles. She picked the one she wanted and then said he had something to show her in the apartment.
Inside the apartment, Ellen found a large blanket spread out on the living room floor, with candles, wine, a loaf of bread, cheese, and fruit. Angelo asked her to stay and have dinner with him. She found herself saying yes.
He made love to her that night, on the floor of her new apartment. He awakened a passion in her that she thought had died years ago in Los Angeles. When he kissed her, Ellen melted into his arms. When he removed her dress and kissed her naked body, heat spread to every inch of her. He pushed her onto her back, lowering himself onto her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and surrendered to a raging desire and orgasm, which caused her to scream his name and bite his shoulder.
They lay together until late that night, naked on the floor of an unfinished apartment. They talked about their childhoods. Born in New Jersey, he retained the accent. His father was a Jewish accountant, working for a mob boss. He married the daughter of the mob boss and Angelo was their first-born son. Growing up, he knew what his father did for a living, and what his grandfather did for a living.
He wasn't interested in becoming an accountant like his father, and had no desire to be a part of his grandfather’s business, either. He liked building things and he worked his way through college doing construction work. Once he got his contractor’s license, his grandfather gave him the money to start his own business... assuring him there were no strings attached.
Five years later, a rival family gunned down his grandfather and father in a restaurant. Once their funerals were over, Angelo kissed his mother goodbye and left New Jersey. He settled in Fresno, started a new construction business, married, and started a family.
Ellen and Angelo became lovers. She knew he was married and it didn't bother her. In fact, she liked it. She had meant what she told her brother... she liked her life and had no desire to get married. The fact that Angelo was unavailable just made him more attractive. They spent many nights in her house. Sometimes the sex was frenzied and rushed, other times it was long and slow. Occasionally he spent all night, but not often. Every few months they would take a trip to the coast or to a cabin in the mountains. Once a year they'd spend a week in Las Vegas.
The apartments were built and she furnished them with comfortable, but cheap furniture. Her practice grew, both the legal and the illegal parts. She sometimes thought of that horrible fall of 1941, when it seemed her life ended. But she could say now she was happy, truly happy.