Today was the day. After prodding, ribbing, and teasing from all the guys, Josh was going to make his move.
The bouquet of flowers behind his back would hopefully make Deanna smile.
David sat on the porch of her little house as Josh walked up. The smirk on the big guy’s face couldn’t be missed. “About time.”
“Don’t think it’s insensitive? Bad timing?”
“Nope. Go for it, dude. She needs you.”
He nodded. “Let’s hope so.” The door stared him down. Deep breath. Shoulders back.
“But if you hurt her, you realize how many big brothers will kill you, right?”
Right. Nothing like a bunch of brawny, scared-of-nothing, mountaineering rangers after your tail. He gave a mock salute to David. “Understood.”
He opened the door. “Hey, Deanna.”
“Josh.” She smiled from her perch on the couch. “How are you?” Feet tucked underneath her, she looked at total ease, except for the haunted look in her eyes.
“I’m great.” He handed her the flowers. “Especially now that I’m off.”
“What are these for?”
“You.” Realization hit him square in the jaw. He’d just referred to her as a “what.” Well, kind of. “I mean, who … well, you said, ‘what’ and I said ‘you,’ but I meant that they’re for you. And you’re a who, not a what….” The hole he dug couldn’t swallow him up fast enough. “Just because.”
Laughter surrounded him. Deline stood in the door from the kitchen. “You’re adorable when you get nervous, Josh. I didn’t know you were such a chatterbox.” She handed a cup of steaming liquid to Deanna. “You better snatch this one up, I think he’s a keeper.”
Adorable. Just what a guy aimed for. Wasn’t adorable reserved for puppies and babies?
A slight blush rose in Deanna’s cheeks. She lowered her head to sip from the cup.
It made Deline laugh harder. She turned to Josh, gave him a smack on the arm. “So, have you seen Logan today?”
“Yep, just a little bit ago.”
“Is he behaving himself?” She pulled on a jacket.
At least she had the courtesy to change the subject. Josh swallowed his embarrassment. “Yes, ma’am. In fact, he’s on his way over here for a little while. He said something about a hot date with a beautiful woman.”
“Did he, now?” She winked at Deanna. “I’ll come back by tomorrow, but I need to go check on my dad.”
“Thanks, Deline. It’s been fun.” Deanna tossed her long auburn braid behind her shoulder.
“You’re welcome. Promise me it won’t take another seven years to do it again.” And in a blur, she was gone.
Josh stood in the living room feeling awkward. Were they actually alone? Oh boy. What was it about Deanna that threw him off like this? Every single time.
“You can sit down, you know.” The cup in her hands hid the lower portion of her face. Her cheeks were still pink.
“Okay.” The spot next to her on the couch invited him.
“Thank you for the flowers.”
“You’re welcome.” Good grief, he was an idiot. Couldn’t he come up with something better than that? “Look, I know things are really tough right now. But I want you to know I’m here for you.” Here for you. Uh-huh. What did that mean exactly? Open mouth. Insert foot.
Warmth seeped through his jacket as she touched his shoulder. Her smile was small, but it reached her eyes. She didn’t seem to care that he turned into a bumbling fool around her. “I don’t know what to do with my feelings, Josh. I’m scared. Really scared. And for the first time as an adult, I’m not alone. But I don’t want to risk anyone else’s life. Especially yours.” A soft sigh escaped as she uncurled and sat forward. Her bare feet rubbed the carpet. “I haven’t been able to trust a soul. No friendships, no dating, no one allowed in my life.” She turned her head toward him.
A lock of hair escaped her braid, and he longed to brush it back.
“All these years, I’ve wanted to live a normal life—be around people, hang out with friends—you know the drill. But now that people know, I don’t know what to do with myself.” She bit her bottom lip. Then breathed deep. “And I don’t know what I would do if anyone got hurt because of me.”
“No one’s going to get hurt. We’re going to protect you.”
“You don’t know that, Josh.”
“But I believe it.”
She huffed. “Look, I know we share the same faith, but you haven’t seen what I’ve seen. Haven’t been through the horror this man has put me through. Yes, I know God is there, and I believe, but I’ve also got to keep a clear head and protect those around me.”
“So you don’t think God is big enough to do that?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Deanna stood and paced the living room in front of him. “I know He’s big enough, but I also know He allows bad things to happen. So if I can keep them from—”
“Whoa there, Deanna. That’s not how God works and you know it. This is a sin-filled world, so yes, bad things are going to happen. But you can’t supersede His position and say that even if He allows something to happen, you can stop it because you don’t want it to happen.”
Her back to him, she stopped her pacing. Her shoulders slumped and began to shake. Was she crying? He prayed David wouldn’t decide to come in the door at that moment. The big guy would probably lay Josh flat for making her cry.
He stood and moved closer to her. “I’m sorry, Deanna.” He reached out and touched her elbow. “I didn’t mean to upset you, but I would be a lousy friend if I didn’t tell you the truth.”
Deanna turned to him. Sobs shook her whole frame. “No, I’m sorry. I need you to be honest with me. And I need to be reminded that I’m not in control.” She stepped closer and smiled. Patted his chest with her hand. Her voice broke as she walked back to the couch. She sat on her knees in the far corner and pulled a blanket up around her. “I’m sorry. I’m an emotional mess right now.”
“It’s okay, you have the right. And maybe someone should remind you that the killer isn’t in control, either.” He handed her a tissue.
“Thanks.” She sighed. “And you’re right again. But don’t let it go to your head.”
“I won’t. And you’re welcome. Anytime.” He meant it. He would love nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her for the rest of his life. As the connection between them grew, Josh couldn’t pull his gaze away. Change the subject. Do something. He was in way over his head. “So, I have an idea. Maybe it will cheer you up.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“I was hoping we could go out to the café. David and Jolie said they’d go and sit at another table. Kyle, Zack, and John will be in there as well.”
The haunted look left her eyes for a brief moment. “You mean, a date?”
“Well, I … was hoping for one … eventually that is … but this doesn’t have to be one, if you’d—” If only he could stop rambling around her.
“I would love to go on a date with you … but …”
David burst through the door. “No buts. You can’t let this killer rule your life. Besides, Agent Williams thinks he’s gone for now. Talkeetna’s too small and everyone is on alert for anyone new or suspicious.”
Josh crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at his fellow ranger. How long had he been listening?
Deanna smirked. She yanked the blanket off and stood. “You know what?” Deanna pulled on his hand. “I am dying to get out of this house! And you know what else? I would love to go on a date with you.”
“So you’re just using me to get some fresh air?” He winked.
David smacked him on the shoulder.
A pillow flew through the air from the couch. It hit David just as another one sailed toward Josh.
“I take that as a yes?”