44

Darcy sat on the edge of the smooth Adirondack chair and twisted to face Ben. Telling her brother what she was feeling always made the emotions real. When she was little and being bullied or when she fell in love with Reed Thompson in the seventh grade, expressing her heart to her brother brought the experiences into three dimensions.

What she was feeling for Finn was real. Along with perfect organizational skills and the ability to turn a three-word sentence into a multipoint project plan, denial was one of her key strengths. Despite her best efforts of leaning into her core strengths, she wasn’t able to ignore her feelings any longer. Darcy’s heart was filling up with Finn Tarrington. “It’s hard to start.” Darcy lifted her gaze to Ben’s.

The fire light revealed the tender kindness at the core of her brother. No matter the undeserved anger and pain she had tossed on him, Ben continued to love without malice or condition.

“Darc, whatever you say will be between you and me.”

She nodded. “I can’t seem to stop kissing him.”

Ben’s face contorted as if he had taken a bite of liver laced with jalapenos and vinegar. “Aww, Darc, did you have to start with the physical? Could you not have eased in with some fourteen-year-old girl emotions?”

“Gee, thanks, Ben. I appreciate your understanding.” She twisted to stand, but felt the thick grasp of Ben’s hand on her wrist.

“I’m sorry. Tell your story however, you want. I’ll listen. I promise…no more judgment.”

With a sigh, she turned back to Ben. Honest and authentic compassion once again reflected in his matching set of brown eyes.

“I probably should have eased into the kissing.”

“It would help a brother out.”

“And when we get to your turn. You can gloss over the lip-locking action between you and Ms. Jessup.”

Ben shook his head. “No worries there.”

“You haven’t kissed Harper?”

“We are talking about you and the Pastor.”

“I know…but seriously? All those moony eyed looks and you haven’t kissed her?”

“Darcy, my infinite patience is finding its end…”

“OK. Right.” How was Darcy supposed to sum up what she felt for Finn? Or why she had these feelings for him? “It seems so sudden, and yet, I can’t really explain it…I feel as though I’ve always known him. I’ve been trying to resist. My life is chaos. And I never deal with chaos very well.”

She glanced at Ben expecting him to comment, to outline every mistake she’d made in the last five years. Since the moment he’d discovered she lost her grant, Darcy had been waiting for the inquisition about her stalled research and what she would do in the future. But Ben had been silent about her next steps. If the situation had been reversed, Darcy would have hounded him at every meal, coffee, and walk the two had, but not her brother. Challenging the next steps and planning for the future were firmly in Darcy’s wheelhouse. Giving people air to breathe to figure out their own journey was Ben’s greatest gift. And, he had graciously been giving to Darcy for over five years.

“Ben, I’m scared.”

In an instant, Ben snatched her in his arms. “Don’t worry, Darcy. We’ll figure this out. Together.”