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Valerie waved hello to Liddy as she pushed her way into the store and hummed as she grabbed a cart and proceeded down the grocery aisles. She was prepping the kitchen for Christmas and was pleased to see the items she needed well stocked. For being a small store, they made sure to offer as much as the space would allow, and kept it on the shelves. Bulk orders from the big city were usual for people around here, canned goods and five-pound bags of things like oatmeal and flour, but for daily necessities and special events, the grocery store did a good job.
The shopping took several minutes, and when she was done, she loaded up the back seat of the truck. Shutting the door, she turned and saw Damon walking out of the coffee shop—the biggest blessing in the town in her opinion—and striding past the grocery store toward a larger building that called itself the local ranch restock warehouse. It was hardly the size of a warehouse, but it was bigger than the other buildings in the little strip that was downtown.
“Hey, Damon.” Valerie smiled and waved, the sight of him warming her through. But Damon barely glanced at her, his jaw set. What was going on? She hoped something bad hadn’t happened.
“Hey.” She trotted over, careful to avoid slick patches of ice that carpeted the dirt of the parking lot.
Damon stopped and turned toward her stiffly.
“Is everything alright? You look stressed.” She gazed up into his eyes. They were cool and distant, and a sinking feeling took over in her stomach.
“Not at all. Just need to get work done.” He turned and walked away.
What the heck was that all about?
“Hey, wait.” Valerie followed him, frowning at his back. What was going on with him? He hadn’t been this cold with her since the first time they’d met when she got here. He stilled, but didn’t turn right away. She caught up with him. “Did I do something to offend you?”
“Did you...” He whipped around and stared down at her. “It would have been nice to know you were leaving for another job, Valerie.”
Her eyebrows shot up. How did he know about that? “I just got the invite. Why does that make you so angry?”
“You should have told me before...” A tic worked in his cheek as he went silent. Before what? Before she just up and left? Before he’d kissed her? The thought of that kiss made her ache for more. More of him. He continued before she could say anything. “You’ve always been selfish, Valerie. Then and now. And you don’t care who you run over in the process of getting what you want.”
The frustration from all those years ago boiled to the surface and she found herself snapping back, “You could have come with me to college, or stayed in touch in any way, but you didn’t. You didn’t try either! And now, how is my getting a job offer I really need right now so bad?”
He reared back from her, pain written all over his face. His next words were harsh.
“Maybe because you left me. We could have made it work if you’d wanted it to. You could have stayed, Valerie. You could have gone to college closer or come back during your breaks. But you chose not to.”
Bitterness laced the words, and Valerie was stung by them. Back then she’d felt betrayed that he’d discarded all their dreams and plans to stay at the ranch and help his family, but now she realized that he probably felt the same way about her leaving. They’d been foolish kids, caught up in their own overwhelming dramas. She was leaving behind the family she hadn’t known happiness with, only sorrow for “being a burden,” as she was often called, and his life was shaken by his brother’s accident and the responsibility that suddenly fell on his shoulders.
Still, after the things he’d said, she was too angry to let the revelation of the feelings he’d had those years ago sway her away from her current anger toward him.
“I’m sorry about what happened all those years ago. It should have been different, but it wasn’t. And you have no right to lash out at me over something you must have heard from a third party. I have nothing else to say.” She spun on her heel and stormed toward the truck. Or she tried to. The heel of her boot hit a patch of ice and flew out from under her, sending her reeling backward.
She landed with a grunt, the air whooshing out of her as she collided with the hard ground.
“Valerie, are you okay?” Damon’s tone was no longer harsh.
She heard Damon’s heavy steps coming her way. Get up, she thought, pushing on the ground.
Trying to leverage herself onto her elbows, she found herself struggling to get up. Her torso wouldn’t budge. Looking down in horror, she saw that her jacket had frozen to the somewhat wet ice. She almost groaned aloud, but caught herself and jerked her body forward instead. With some wiggling and flailing, the crack of ice announced her freedom, and she was able to get to her feet. Hoping her cheeks were so red from the cold that no one could see her blush, she held her head high and ignored Damon, heading for the truck again.
“Hey, Valerie,” he called.
She turned, barely able to look at him as she replied with a terse, “Yes?”
“You have snowy rocks and ice stuck all over your backside.” He arched an eyebrow before turning and walking away. Reaching around to brush her mittened hands over her back, she knocked more than one snow-covered rock and flat piece of ice off. Of course, the universe couldn’t deign to let her stomp away with dignity.
It was even more of a shame that they’d had an audience. Liddy from the grocery store and Kenzie Chelsky were heading toward her, concern in their eyes.
Valerie put her hands up and offered a that-was-embarrassing-but-I’m-fine smile to try and head them off. It didn’t work. Alaskan women weren’t easy to deter.
“That looked like a tough fall. My back hurt from seeing it. Are you okay?” When Liddy smiled, it always reached her eyes, and Valerie couldn’t help but feel at ease in her presence. Even after such an embarrassing event.
“Besides the humiliation, I’m really okay,” she assured them.
Kenzie gave one of the daintiest snorts Valerie had ever heard. “We’ve all done it, so no one is judging.” Her eyes went to the parking spot Damon had vacated. “Listen...I’m not sure what’s going on with Damon, but he is a solid guy.” She shrugged. “I just wanted you to know that. Communicating helps with a lot of things.”
“Yeah, we were just communicating. Unfortunately”—Valerie sighed—“we’re both stubborn.”
Liddy chortled and elbowed Kenzie in the ribs. “You don’t know anything about that.”
Kenzie rolled her eyes to the sky, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Nope, I sure don’t.”
Valerie wondered what that was all about, but would rather leave than continue the conversation so she could think about things weighing on her. Or rather, one particular thing weighing on her.
“Thanks for your concern, ladies. I should get going.”
They nodded in unison. “We’re here for you, Valerie,” Liddy said.
“You’re the best.” Valerie slipped into the truck and watched the women walk back to the coffee shop they’d stepped out of. She sighed. None of her neighbors back in Denver would have been concerned enough to march over like that. She was frustrated with her train of thought lately, why did keep comparing? Of course city life was different from life here. As a generalization, the people in the lower forty-eight were saner, less friendly, and more career oriented. So why didn’t it seem like enough anymore?
Not expecting any answers to come from the parking lot she was sitting there staring at, she started the truck and began the trek back to the farm.
As she drove, mulling over her conversation with Damon and starting to feel like she’d handled it wrong, like she’d been a jerk, she found herself excited to be going home. She could take Peony for a walk before it got dark and talk through her frustrations with someone who wouldn’t judge or talk back. Well, maybe she’d judge. Peony did seem pretty opinionated.