We’re back, but this time we’re not in a memory. We’re not in any part of the real world, either.
Instead, we’re in a room made of mirrors. More mirrors partition the room up, reflecting us to infinity. Except that behind us, in each reflection, is a different backdrop.
I recognise one of them as a memory we recently visited. We’re still in Ilmu’s memories somewhere. I think.
Ilmu sinks down to the ground. I still feel awful and weak, but I haven’t thrown up on myself this time—bonus. Maybe my body is starting to adjust to this method of travelling.
I crouch next to Ilmu. “Are you okay? Ilmu, I’m so sorry. Did she take all the memories?”
She doesn’t reply, curling into a ball, shivering hard. If she were Hunter, I’d stroke her to try to soothe her, but I have no idea if that’s a good idea for a baku in pain.
Chizu appears, then. Clearly she can follow us wherever we go—fleeing is therefore not a solution.
I stand up and put myself between her and Ilmu. She’s not paying attention to Ilmu, though. “Thank you for reminding me that the important thing right now isn’t to punish my renegade baku, but dealing with you.”
I back away, looking around me for a way out, but wherever I turn there’s nothing but smooth, reflective surfaces, showing me more places than I can hold in my mind.
There are no doors. No way out. Chizu’s eye is a little swollen, but considering she got my boot heel in the face, she should have been a lot worse. Elephant skulls and skin are tough in the real world, and I guess magical creatures who are part elephant are also tough.
I fall back into a fighting stance, doing my best to ignore the trembling in my thighs and the nausea still roiling in my stomach. My body feels exhausted, in spite of the adrenaline pumping through my system, as if I’ve just run a marathon and then done a full circuit workout. “You can focus on me all you want,” I tell Chizu. “You won’t get to take me apart like a doll.”
“You’re reaching for the wrong metaphor. It will feel more like I’m cutting your power cord.” Her eyes meet mine, and I know she’s going to try to rip memories from me. But this time I’m ready, already reaching out with my magic.
It’s just like when I dodged Sarroch’s attempts at hypnotising me. At least that’s what I tell myself. I can feel Chizu’s magic coming at me, seeking my memories. And I push at it, suggesting it slides past me. It’s not enough to stop her completely, but it is enough to startle her, which buys me the precious seconds I need.
I launch myself forward, pivot, and kick her right in the belly with the heavy tip of my boot. She roars in pain.
I may have avoided her magic, but I don’t avoid her front paw as she trumpets in anger and swipes at me.
It catches me in the left ribs, and I careen back, crashing into a mirror.
Shards explode all around me, falling on me in a shower of razor blades.
My reflexes kicked in fast enough that my arms protect my face but they’re now covered in cuts.
I push myself up to standing, mirror pieces sliding off me, shards crunching beneath my boots.
Chizu charges me.
I dodge, but not quite far enough—I’m running on fumes, and my legs just don’t have the strength to do more than shift me a few inches to the side.
The impact of the front of Chizu’s massive head catches me in the side and sends me to the floor, completely winded. I make a soft, pained whine. That definitely cracked my ribs.
The little time I take to gather myself is enough for her to reach me and curl her trunk around my neck.
“I need your human body to die so I can get at the energy Qinglong placed inside you,” Chizu tells me matter-of-factly, as if she’s discussing removing my shoe or something equally as mundane.
My fingers scrabble at her trunk, but it's like trying to pry off an iron band. The pressure constricts my throat, strangling me.
I choke and splutter, feeling the pressure buildup behind my eyes. I reach desperately for her eyes to try to gouge them, but her trunk is too long and my fingers fall short by just a couple of centimetres.
“Ilmu,” I call, or at least I try to, but all that comes out is a faint whisper.
Ilmu is still curled and shaking, and clearly unable to help.
The pressure inside my head is growing painful, my throat and lungs are on fire, and my eyes feel like they’re about to bulge out of their sockets. Black patches are swimming in my vision.
“Just let it happen,” Chizu suggests. “Just let it go. You cannot stop the inevitable.”
No way. No bloody way. This is not how I go. Yue didn’t kill me and Chizu certainly isn’t.
My hands scramble around the floor, and they finally reach what I was hoping for.
I stab her in the trunk with the mirror shard with a quick, hard jab. Chizu trumpets and rears back.
I gulp in a raw breath as I push myself up into a crouch. Chizu grabs at me with her trunk again, but I manage to avoid her. I gulp in more air, my throat painful.
The next time I don’t dodge as well, and only luck saves me from getting caught. I’m too drained, too weak. All Chizu has to do is wait for me to collapse from exhaustion.
She reaches for me again. I roll to the side, bringing me next to her. I reach up and stab her in the belly in three short thrusts.
I wish I’d asked Sarroch more about how long Mayak take to heal injuries. I wish I’d asked more about the baku. Far too late for that.
Chizu screeches in pain and stumbles back.
My body is begging me to stop here. To just lie down. I try but fail to get up. I’m kneeling, holding my improvised weapon. If Chizu attacks now, I really don’t think I’ll have the strength to parry.
But she doesn’t attack. Instead, she sinks on her haunches. She’s doing the same spasmodic flickering of her human glamour as Ilmu was doing earlier. And then she slowly collapses to the floor.
Maybe this is how baku heal their injuries. At least it's bought us a bit of time.
I try to hurry to Ilmu’s side, but all I manage is an awkward crawl. I finally realise that my right hand is agony. I release the mirror shard, which falls to the floor.
My palm is bleeding all over the place where the shard was biting into the skin. The adrenaline abruptly leaves me because I’m suddenly aware of the pain of all the cuts on my arms, of my cracked ribs, of the deep slices into my palm. To say nothing of the hangover from the memory hopping.
I very nearly keel over.
By some force of will I reach Ilmu and shake her, fingers burying in her fur.
“Ilmu. Ilmu? We need to go. I think I've incapacitated Chizu for a bit.”
She finally lifts her head, her eyes unfocused.
“Chizu is out for now,” I repeat. “We have to go.”
“Chizu…what?” She looks over to the other baku. When she catches sight of Chizu her eyes go wide. “Apiya, what did you do?”
She pushes herself up quickly, her previous weakness apparently forgotten.
“I stabbed her. I don’t know how long it will take her to heal, but…”
Ilmu rushes over to Chizu's side. Chizu’s breathing is heavy.
“No, no.” Ilmu sounds genuinely panicked. “We don't have time to get back to the temple to do the ritual.”
“Do it…now,” Chizu's voice is harsh.
An awful, icy chill travels down my spine as it suddenly dawns on me what I may have done. “But… But… You're supposed to be immortal, or as close as. You're supposed to be able to heal from physical wounds. Sarroch said only magic can kill a Mayak.”
“The mirrors here are all made of magic,” Chizu wheezes. “Fool of a human.”
“Magic help, magic help me.” Ilmu says. “I don't even have the strength of the temple to draw on.”
“Pull yourself together,” Chizu croaks. “Get it done. We cannot afford to lose my memories.”
Ilmu nods. Still in her true form, she lies in front Chizu so they can make eye contact. Chizu's flank is soaked with blood now, and it's heaving up and down with each breath.
I’m so dizzy I can’t breathe. Have I killed someone? Have I actually killed someone?
I can't process the thought. This can't be happening.
Ilmu begins to say words in the baku's guttural language. Chizu responds. There's a cadence to what they say which makes it clear these are ritual phrases.
“What about the fact that we're not in the real world?” I ask. “Isn't there someway we can get her back to the real world and heal her there? What about making her wounds disappear, somehow?” I’m grasping at anything I can, but my knowledge of the Mayak is so vastly insufficient.
“Quiet,” Ilmu murmurs, her gaze locked on Chizu's.
A shiver passes between the two of them, and they both begin to flicker at the same rhythm. But it's not like earlier, when Ilmu was screaming and I could sense something being ripped away from her. Instead it's like an easing, something flowing from Chizu to her.
I bury my head in my hands. It never occurred to me that I could kill a Mayak, never in a million years. Not weak little me.
I’ve never killed before, although I’ve never had an issue with defending myself when needed. If you’d asked me in the past whether I was prepared to kill to save my own life, I probably would have said yes. I thought of myself as a badass in that way.
But thinking about killing in theory and finding yourself confronted with the reality of having taken a life are worlds apart.
My ears are buzzing and my eyes are filling with tears. I don’t even like to kill the spiders I find in my house. I’m always careful not to step on ants as they bustle about their business. I’ve never killed a cockroach in my life, and I’ve taken in every animal I've come across that needed help or shelter.
How did I ever think I’d be capable of killing anyone? Not that I was intending to kill Chizu. But I have. I killed a baku. A creature who’s hundreds, or maybe thousands of years old. A creature who’s full of knowledge...
What have I done? What have I done?
Oh god, I'm going to be sick. My stomach heaves, but luckily, it’s already empty.
My stomach stops lurching painfully, and I look back at Chizu and Ilmu. Chizu’s breathing has slowed right down. She and Ilmu are still locked together, and if I reach out tentatively I can just about sense the flow of magic between them.
Ilmu is still consuming Chizu’s memories.
Finally, Chizu shudders, and something stops.
“All I did, I did for the good of our kind,” she whispers, her voice raw. Her eyes are huge as she looks at me. “It was all for the good of the baku and the Mayak.”
I force myself to hold her gaze. To hold the gaze of the creature I killed. “I…”
I want to say that I’m sorry. That I’m not a killer, that I didn’t mean it, as if I could take it back like a bad insult.
I know she was trying to kill me. I know she wanted to tear me apart like a doll. I know.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t bear the thought of what I did.
“It is what it is...” Chizu looks at Ilmu and mutters a few more words that I can't understand. Ilmu crouches low, bringing the large, flat front of her elephantine head against Chizu's.
They remain like this for a few moments.
And then with a great, shuddering breath, Chizu dies.