Last night I felt so panicked about what might happen at the fete on Saturday, I sat up till almost sunrise.

By the time I got to school, I was stuffed. But I was mad, too. If Johnno hadn’t shoved so much dung into the plastic bag, it wouldn’t have split in my backpack. And if it hadn’t split, I wouldn’t have left the open backpack in the front yard. And then Spike wouldn’t have found it and shaken dung all over the place. And then Mum wouldn’t have fallen in it. So it was all Johnno’s fault things at home were worse!

Tim was just inside the school gates with a big mob of kids around him.

I tried to dodge him, but he yelled, ‘Ay, Charlie! Come here, I want to show you something.’

The other kids turned around and laughed at me.

‘What’s going on?’ said Johnno, coming up behind me.

I shrugged. Right then, Johnno was in my bad books! We went over to where everyone was crowded around Butch’s cage.

‘Taught the bird a new trick last night,’ said Tim proudly. ‘Watch this!’ He leaned close to the cage and said, ‘Charlie!’

‘Pooey Charlie!’ said Butch.

‘Charlie! Charlie!’ said Tim.

‘Pooey Charlie! Pooey Charlie!’ said Butch.

Everyone laughed themselves silly. Even Johnno. Some best mate he was!

‘The bird says other stuff, too,’ Tim told the crowd. ‘But it’ll cost you fifty cents on Saturday to find out what.’

I couldn’t believe Tim was trying to make money out of making fun of me!

When we went into class, Mrs Wilson reminded everyone about the fete on Saturday.

‘No raffle tickets have sold,’ she said. ‘So the teachers have decided to reduce the price from a dollar a ticket to fifty cents a ticket. Now, before we begin our lessons, would anyone like to buy a ticket quickly?’

No one put up their hand.

Mrs Wilson gave up trying to flog the tickets and started on a science lesson about plants. I felt zonked, so I stared out the window. Soon it would be Mum’s birthday. I really hoped everything worked out!

But the next thing I knew, Johnno was nudging me.

I looked away from the window and up at Mrs Wilson, who was standing just in front of my desk.

‘I’m waiting for your answer, Charlie!’ she said.

I didn’t even know she’d asked me a question.

‘I’ll give you a hint,’ she said. ‘It helps vegetables grow.’

Without thinking, I said, ‘Poo!’ Rosy’s dung must be sitting all around Grandpa Ted’s cabbages by now.

My classmates cracked up laughing.

‘The answer,’ said Mrs Wilson, ‘is sunlight. Now, try and pay attention please, Charlie.’

In the afternoon, Mrs Wilson gave us some silent reading time. A comic would’ve kept my brain alive, but the book I had was boring. Also, it didn’t help that the air conditioner in our classroom had broken down.

Anyway, one minute I was reading about fish, the next I was dreaming I was performing in a show at the school fete. I was a star and everyone loved me!

Then Spike appeared in my dream. ‘Wake up, Charlie!’ he said, licking my nose.

I opened my eyes.

Mrs Wilson was dabbing my face with a damp cloth. ‘Wake up, Charlie,’ she said.

Johnno was standing next to her, staring at me with a worried look on his face.

‘I know it’s been a hot day, Charlie,’ Mrs Wilson said. ‘Especially with the air conditioner failing, but there’s a virus going around, too. You might have a touch of it. If you don’t feel well, I can cancel the stall you and Johnson have signed up for.’

‘No, no,’ I said. I rubbed my eyes and forced them to stay open. ‘I’m fine.’ That stall was my last chance to fix things with Mum!

Mrs Wilson didn’t look convinced, but she said, ‘It’s lucky school finished early today so the teachers can prepare for the fete. If you rest up tonight, you might be okay by tomorrow.’

I looked around.

Half the class had already left!

‘If you’re not at the fete bright and early though,’ said Mrs Wilson, ‘I’ll assume you are unwell and give the table to someone else. A lot of people want stalls.’

Johnno and me promised we’d be there first thing.

On the way home to my place, Johnno said, ‘Sorry about laughing at you when Butch said, “Pooey Charlie”. I didn’t mean to. It just came out.’

‘Yeah?’ I said. ‘Well you’re responsible for something else just coming out, too, Johnno!’

‘What?’ he said.

‘The plastic bag of dung in my backpack broke open because you shoved too much in!’ I said.

I told him all about Spike finding the bag and spreading the dung all over the front yard. Then I told him about how Mum got pooed.

‘Is Aunty Shirl okay?’ Johnno squeaked.

‘No,’ I said. ‘She’s really mad—at me!’

‘I’m super sorry, Charlie!’ Johnno said. ‘Super, super sorry!’

I ignored him. Johnno hates it when people ignore him. It works better than yelling. We walked along in silence.

I started thinking about the dream I had in class. The more I thought about it, the better I felt. Grandpa said to watch out for a sign that my luck was changing. What if the dream was a sign?

A little bubble of excitement rose up in my chest. If it worked, then I had a shot at beating Tim and winning the mystery prize for Mum!

I glanced over at Johnno. He was shuffling along with his head down. I was a bit glad he felt bad. But I also felt sorry. Johnno isn’t mean like some kids are. The dung disaster was just an accident.

‘Look,’ I said, ‘I’ve got another idea for the stall that might work.’

Johnno cheered up right away. ‘What is it, Charlie?’ he said.

I told him about my dream and what I thought it meant.

But Johnno was horrified. ‘A magic show? You and me? Put on a magic show in front of people? And charge them to watch us, like we’re famous movie stars, or something? I’d be too shame!’

‘Can you think of a better idea?’ I said.

We walked along in silence again while Johnno had a think.

Finally he said, ‘I guess I could tell a joke. Last night I found my old joke book. I’ve got it in my bag.’

I knew which book it was. The jokes in it were weak!

‘What did the left ear say to the right ear?’ said Johnno.

I shrugged.

‘Between us we’ve got brains!’ Johnno busted out laughing. ‘That’s you and me, mate! Between us we’ve got brains!’

I didn’t laugh. I didn’t mind sharing my brains with Johnno. I just didn’t want him sharing his awful jokes with me.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘You don’t need to tell any jokes. Jokes aren’t magic, anyway. All you have to do is collect the money and introduce me and Spike.’

Johnno gasped, ‘Is Spike going to be in our show?’

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘He was in my dream, so I figure he should be in the show.’

‘All the kids will want to watch if Spike’s in our show!’ said Johnno.

That’s what I was counting on!

Dad was in the kitchen when we arrived. The girls were in their room working on Mum’s present. Mum was nowhere to be seen.

‘Ah, Charlie,’ Dad said, ‘I want you and Johnno to keep the noise down. Your mum’s trying to sleep.’

‘But Mum’s already been sleeping too much!’ I said.

‘Some people’s bodies don’t react well to modern medicine,’ Dad said. ‘I think your Mum is one of them. The new anti-rash tablets are great for the itch, but they zapped her up so much she didn’t sleep a wink last night.’

Mum with sleep was grumpy enough. But Mum without sleep would be a psycho! I would definitely keep the noise down if it meant Mum could rest.

‘Dinner will be early tonight,’ Dad said. ‘That way we’ll have plenty of time to sort out the waiter training and a few other little things.’

I had a feeling Dad’s ‘few other little things’ would turn out to be a whole lot of big things! What about me and Johnno’s show? We had no idea what magic tricks we were doing yet!

Also, I had to teach Spike a trick. And Johnno needed to practise introducing us.

‘Will it take long, Dad?’ I moaned.

Dad frowned. ‘It’s for your mum, son. Does it matter?’

‘No, of course not, Dad!’ I said.

But it did matter to me. Dad wasn’t the only one trying to make Mum happy on her birthday!

Johnno and me went out the back to get Spike. The pup was really pleased to see us. ‘Come on, fella!’ I said. ‘You’re going to be a star.’

On the way back through the kitchen, I grabbed some tomato sauce and cold fried sausages from the fridge. Spike loves sausages with a dab of tomato sauce. It was the easiest way to train him.

Johnno said he was thirsty, so we grabbed two plastic cups and a bottle of cold cordial.

Back in my room, we drank the cordial, and then Johnno reached for the sausages. I shoved his hand away.

‘I thought they were for us,’ he said.

‘They’re to train Spike!’

Johnno wasn’t happy about that. He stared sadly at the sausages. ‘What are we training him to do?’ he asked.

‘Well,’ I said. ‘The other day I was throwing a tennis ball for him in the backyard and he got so excited he stood up on his back legs …’

‘The Dancing Dingo!’ yelled Johnno.

That was a good name, but I had to tell him to shut up in case he woke Mum.

Then, before we could even begin training Spike, Dad came in.

‘Come outside and give me a hand, will you, boys?’

‘Can’t we do it later, Dad?’ I said. ‘We’ve got important things to do!’

‘I’ve got one word for you, Charlie,’ said Dad. ‘Birthday!’

It was the one word I couldn’t argue with!

I grabbed Spike and the four of us went out onto the back verandah.

‘See all that gear?’ said Dad, pointing to the piles of junk littering the backyard. ‘It’s all got to go back in my shed.’

The job was going to take hours and hours. And then me and Johnno would still have to wait for Dad to teach us how to be waiters!

‘We can’t give your mum a moonlit dinner surrounded by junk,’ Dad said. ‘Come on, you two bludgers. Get stuck into it!’

Me and Johnno slaved away for ages.

It was getting dark by the time Sharni and Tia came out. I pulled a face at them behind Dad’s back.

‘Fizzy, Fizzy, Fizzy!’ teased Sharni.

‘What does she mean?’ Johnno asked me.

‘Tell you later!’ I said. Not!

‘Guess what, Dad?’ said Tia. ‘We’ve finished our present for Mum!’

‘Good on you, girls!’ Dad said. ‘Your mum needs all the love and support she can get right now.’

Just then Mum appeared on the back verandah. She had her hands on her hips. ‘Why do I need lovesh and sshupport?’ she demanded.

If Mum could have seen herself in a mirror, she’d know!

Johnno made a shocked, gasping sound. I didn’t blame him.

Mum’s curly green hair was wild and spiky from tossing and turning. The bald patch was practically glowing. Her eyes were shrunken from lack of sleep. And the lumps from her allergic rash were bigger. Worse still, a large one had sprouted on the end of her nose!

‘You must be hungry, love!’ Dad said cheerfully. ‘Let’s all go inside and I’ll make us some baked beans on toast.’

Mum spun around and stormed through the back door. ‘I’m nosh hungry!’ she said. ‘I jussh need sshome sshleepsh!’

We all went into the kitchen.

‘What about a nice cup of tea?’ said Dad.

‘Are you crayshee, Jim?’ Mum said. ‘Tea will keepsh me awakesh even longersh!’

Tia took Mum by the arm. ‘Come into our room, Mum,’ she said. ‘Sharni and me have something special for you.’

‘An early birthday surprise!’ said Sharni.

The three of them vanished into the girls’ bedroom.

‘I think you should call the Royal Flying Doctor Service and get Aunty Shirl sent to the big hospital in Perth,’ whispered Johnno. ‘She doesn’t look human!’

A few minutes later, Mum staggered back into the kitchen carrying a lumpy, wonky, red papier-mâché heart as big as a suitcase. Only the pimple twins could’ve made something so weird.

‘It’s good to knowsh sshomeboshy lovesh me even when I’m likesh thish!’ Mum said.

Then she spun around and carted the heart into her and Dad’s bedroom. My sisters went with her.

Dad sighed. ‘Your mum is feeling really low, Charlie! She needs to know how much we all love her.’

Dad was right. Now that Mum couldn’t sleep, things were desperate! I loved Mum as much as the girls did and I was determined to show it. I’d be a really good waiter at her dinner on Sunday. If only Dad would get on with the training!

I’d make sure the magic show was a success, too. Even if I had to stay up till sunrise practising. Mum needed the mystery prize a lot more than Tim did!

‘Right, boys,’ said Dad. ‘There’s still some gear to put away. Then we have to rake the yard.’

‘But it’s already dark, Dad!’ I said.

‘When someone in your family is having a hard time,’ he said, ‘you do whatever it takes to help, son! I’ll rig up an outdoor light. That way we’ll have all night!’

Aw! What?

It was really late by the time Dad finished bossing us around. Johnno and me were dead on our feet. We were too tired to practise anything for our show. Instead we crashed out and went to sleep.

And as for our waiter training from Dad—that took less than a minute.

‘It’s not hard, boys,’ he said. ‘Just don’t drop the dinner when you’re carrying it out. And don’t spill any cooldrink on the birthday girl!’

I reckon Dad just wanted to use us to get his shed organised.

Arrgh!