“Y ou’re wondering where he is, aren’t you ?”
Small, soft hands curved over the skin of his neck, and John looked up at Shannon. There was a smile on her face, of course. Even when shit was hitting the fan, sometimes literally, she had a smile or a laugh or a joke for him. They were a team, and John was amazed every day that she had chosen him. He’d been a sour old Marine when she met him, bitter at the world and definitely not family friendly, but she’d seen some glimmer of something salvageable in him .
He looked back out the window at the blowing snow. It was Christmas Eve and winter had settled into Denver with a ferocity he hadn’t seen in a long time. “Yes, I am wondering where he is,” he admitted, knowing that she would understand .
Almost a year ago now, he had learned that his little baby brother was still alive, and watching over him. Actually, Jamie had been watching over his whole family and group of friends. It was a very strange situation with more questions than answers. The man had been posing as a homeless man to stay near them, as protection. The crazy part was, LNF was a surveillance and protection service. It was their job to be on alert and cognizant of everything around them, yet Aiden had completely worked around them. What the fuck ?
John and his brother Jaime had been separated when they were kids. Their mother had been a drug addict, and very young. At least she’d had the sense to give them up, he supposed. John had gone to the orphanage first. Then, he’d learned from Jaime, he’d been dropped off as well, but to a different church than John. Jaime had gone on to join the military like John, but even now he wasn’t sure what branch Jaime had been in. Something Special Forces, definitely, either SEALs or Green Berets or something. Only something that covert could leave the ghosts in Jaime’s eyes like he’d seen .
Jaime, or Aiden as Duncan had known him, showed up one day and rescued Shannon when she’d been forced off the road by a man that later tried to kill Duncan. This was all done in an effort to draw Jaime out into the open. Months earlier, Jaime had broken out of a secret testing facility, stealing classified information about the program in the process. Now the people that ran that facility were after him, and would get him back any way they could. If it meant attacking the only family he had in an effort to force Jaime’s hand, they would do it .
Reaching out, he scrubbed a clear spot in the fog on the glass, looking. Wondering if his brother wasn’t just outside. He felt very close tonight .
It had been a hectic phase in their lives, and stunning especially for John. He’d never expected to see his brother again. Fuck, he hadn’t even been sure there was a brother. It could have all been a figment of his imagination .
The altercation with LeBoutin— him shooting and trying to kill John— had caused Duncan to re-break his bad hip. But the situation had ended as well as possible. Duncan had gotten the hip replacement he’d been putting off and he’d fallen in love with the incredible Dr. Alex Hartfield. Duncan acted like a kid now, more mobile than he’d been in years. He and Alex were always on the run, even though she was almost seven months pregnant. They’d combined their households and she’d taken a job at the local VA .
John could appreciate how much good fortune he and his buddies had had in the past couple of years. For a long time they’d been stagnant, just making the motions of living. But that had all changed .
John took Shannon’s hand in his own. It was a little damp, like she’d just washed them. That was something they both did a lot with two little bears to take care of .
“Are they finally down ?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his back. “Yes, I think so. Something upset their tummies today. I don’t think I fed them anything new, so I’ll have to sit down and think about it but I’m too tired right now .”
She rested her head on top of his own. Shifting the chair a little, John twisted and pulled her down into his lap. “Maybe it was the beef jerky I fed them earlier .”
Shannon jerked her head up and she scowled at him, her hazel eyes fierce. “Beef jerky? They’re too little for that. They’re only six months, old, John .”
He chuckled, enjoying her ire. “I didn’t feed them beef jerky .”
Scowling, she began to relax .
“They spit it out and wouldn’t swallow it,” he continued .
She jerked vertical again, smacking his chest. He knew she thought she hit hard, but she actually didn’t. He chuckled in spite of himself, loving her protectiveness over their children. “I’m kidding, Shannon. You need to chill .”
She melted into his chest again and he felt bad. The woman was on the move from sun-up to sun-down, and sometimes through the night. Their identical twins, Wyatt Patrick and Caden James, were handfuls, he thought with pride. The boys were at an age that they were exploring everything in their little worlds. They doted on their mother and he’d like to think that he held a special spot in their worlds as well. It made his heart swell with love .
Turning from the window, he balanced Shannon on his lap. She knew where to tuck her feet to keep them out of the way of the wheels, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, sagging into him. Whether she meant to do it or not, she made him feel like he was the only man in the world that could take care of her .
Wheeling into the bedroom, he maneuvered into the bathroom and stopped in front of the sink. “Brush your teeth and we’ll go to bed .”
Shannon nodded as she slipped from his lap, grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste. After applying the paste she started brushing. “What time is it?” she garbled .
He glanced at the watch strapped to his wrist. “It’s late. Eight-ten .”
She looked at him incredulously, foam filling her mouth. “What ?”
“Eight-ten .”
She shook her head and spit. “I remember a time when eight-ten was when we left the house to go get dinner,” she laughed, wiping her mouth on a towel. “We’ve gotten old in the past year .”
John laughed with her. They’d done no such thing, but they had matured. He reached for his toothbrush, layered on paste and started to scrub. Leaning up, he spit into the sink and repeated .
Shannon looked at the shower. “I know I need a shower but I’m too tired. I’ll do one in the morning .”
Chuckling softly, he herded her from the room. “That’s fine, babe. And why don’t you let me take the night shift ?”
She stared at him for a long moment. “Really? Do you think you’re ready for both of them ?”
Scowling, he shook his head. “They’re my kids. Of course I can take care of them .”
“I think Caden might…” she trailed off as he held his hands up to stop her .
“I know you take care of them a majority of the time, but give me a little credit. I can do this,” he promised .
She moaned as she sank down onto the side of the mattress. “You know, I’ll let you. I’m whipped. I got everything wrapped but I know I’ve forgotten something . ”
John dragged the quilts up over top of her and tucked her in. She gave him a hazy smile before her breathing deepened and she fell to sleep .
How the hell did she do that? It took him the better part of half an hour before his brain relaxed enough to fall asleep, and then he didn’t always stay asleep. Though the dreams that used to pester him were still present, they were fewer and farther between .
Now that he had a family to worry about, some of his night dreams had changed. Now he worried about one of the boys rolling off something and he not being able to catch them, or needing medical care more immediately than he could get his chair to move. Hell, the other night he had a dream that the boys were crying for strained carrots, and he couldn’t reach the carrots from the top shelf in the grocery store .
It was stupid what your brain spewed out .
Wheeling around the bed he locked his wheels and lifted himself to the mattress. It wasn’t a graceful movement, but he tried to do it smoothly so that he didn’t disturb Shannon. He shouldn’t have worried. She was totally ass out asleep, her mouth open slightly as she breathed .
John sank down into his own pillow, sighing as he closed his eyes. He’d been home hours, but it felt like minutes. By the time he rolled in the door, Shannon was usually ready for a break. So while she cooked them dinner, he took care of the boys, playing with them and just basically interacting. They were six months old now and growing like crazy. Shannon was not a very big woman, but when she held one of the boys in her arms she looked even smaller. They’d each gained a pound in the past month, creeping up on the fifteen-pound mark. Wyatt seemed to be built a little bigger than his brother Caden, but they were both just plain adorable. Both boys had thick dark hair, but facially they were just a bit different. Wyatt looked more like him, with big dark eyes and a stubborn chin. Caden looked more like his mother, the structure of his face built a little more delicately. The differences were so subtle that most people never saw them, but Shannon could tell the boys apart a mile away, and John had learned to as well .
The boys loved to be close to one another. Even when they were out and about, rolling on the floor or playing in the portable play pen, they preferred to play together. When they woke in the night, nine times out of ten when he rolled into their room, they were reaching through the bars of their cribs to each other, seeking comfort. He and Shannon had debated just letting them sleep together .
The more time John spent with the boys, the more he remembered little things about his own childhood, both good and bad. When he’d been little, there had been no one to give him comfort. His boys were going to have a life that he’d only dreamed about .
The scene in Duncan’s hospital room played through his mind a lot. Though he’d been in shock, he’d absorbed everything he could about his little brother— the leanness of his body, the anxiety in his eyes he tried to hide. The two of them had been through a lot in their own lives, but John had a feeling Jaime had been through more than he could imagine. In spite of that he was there protecting John and his extended family as if there were no other option. John knew Jaime could have simply washed his hands of them and his life would have been easier. That wasn’t the way he worked though .
John had been hyper vigilant since Jaime had left. If one snake had tried to draw Jaime into the light, there could be more, and John didn’t want to be the reason for his brother’s demise. If he needed time to figure out who was behind everything going on, John would give him that, and try not to become a liability .
Sometimes John thought Jaime was nearby. He never actually saw anything, but the hairs on the back of his neck would stand on end, making him turn his chair around. One day when he and Shannon and the boys had been heading into work, there had been a huge crash on the interstate at the exit he normally took to get to the Lost and Found offices. Crashes happened all the time around the greater Denver area, but something about that one set his teeth on edge. He didn’t see Jaime, of course, but he thought he felt him .
John had taken the roundabout way to the office that day and Shannon hadn’t said anything about it. She was great that way, dealing with his eccentricities .
Against his better judgment he’d gone back to work, leaving her home with the boys most of the time. Alone usually, although one of the wives were usually over to the house. Willow and Raven were over in the afternoons if she finished with clients early. Raven loved seeing the smaller babies and they played beautifully. Ember came over with Drew a good bit as well .
John could tell that Shannon loved staying home with the boys, but she also craved adult interaction. For the first four or five months of the boy’s lives, they’d really needed her. Now, they were weaned and becoming a little more independent. And they were thinking .
“That’s when I know they’re getting into trouble,” she’d told him once. “The little buggers go quiet and I know they’ve gotten into something. They’re not very mobile, but they make the most of what they’re able to do .”
John had seen that as well. They were just starting to roll over and crawl, but their eyes followed everything he and Shannon did. They responded in ways that he didn’t think babies should, but Shannon had shrugged him off. “All parents think their kids are the smartest and brightest,” she’d laughed .
John didn’t think that was all it was, but he let it ride .
Carmella was their partner in crime. The dog followed the boys everywhere, and got concerned if they split up. When Duncan had given them red and blue matching walkers, it had only taken a couple of days of practice for the boys to figure out how to move around. John had thought they’d be too young for the toys, because they could just barely reached the hardwood floor with their big toes. But it was enough for them to move themselves along. Carmella had learned to dance out of the way when they moved faster, but she still followed along behind, hoping for a dropped treat .
John rolled over to look at Shannon. She’d taken up motherhood as if she’d been born for it. Everything seemed to come to her instinctively. It was a little maddening, because he second-guessed and third-guessed everything he did with the boys. If something happened to them on his watch, he’d never be able to forgive himself. And he wouldn’t be able to look Shannon in the eye .
When he’d confessed his worry, she’d shaken her head and smiled. “Grab whichever one is in the most imminent danger first and you’ll be good .”
Okay, he could do that .
When it came to everything else in his life, he dominated, but raising two babies was hard as fuck .
Sighing, he let himself sink into the pillow and close his eyes .