“What are you doing here?” I asked after Joanie and her family had left.
“I’m here to conduct psychological evaluations. I’m useless in the field, but I can sit in a chair and ask questions with the best of them.”
“Great! I’m very happy to see you.”
“I can tell from the frown on your face.” Lucas said. I touched my lips. I was frowning. I tried to smile and failed. “Give it some time, you’ve been through a lot from what I hear. Your cousin holding people hostage and feeding them to others is pretty gruesome. Finding Vera Callow alive and feral is also gruesome. The fact that you didn’t kill her despite being attacked, requires some thought.”
“Why? She was a victim.”
“That’s the reason it needs some thought.” Lucas looked at me. “You identified with her, maybe not on some great cosmic level, but you saw her as you saw yourself at the time of your abduction, as a victim.”
“I have never been a victim,” I told him.
“Yet, you identified her as such. You must have had some feeling for her.”
“You’re here to evaluate me,” I sighed.
“I wish,” Lucas also sighed. “John says Gabriel wanted to give the suspect to you to kill, but didn’t.”
“You’re here to evaluate Gabriel?” I asked.
“Sort of,” Lucas answered cryptically. “Don’t worry, I’ve already formed my opinion and Gabriel is as sane as he is going to get. He certainly hasn’t slid further off the deep end. Everyone has something that bothers them more than others. You dislike bombers. Xavier dislikes snipers. I harbor a deep-seeded hatred of necrophiles. I think we found Gabriel’s.”
“Cannibalism?”
“No, voraphilia. It’s a very broad term, but most voraphiles either want to be eaten themselves or they want to watch as someone or something eats another person. On rare occasions, they want to do the eating, but as I said, it’s rare. I imagine John harbors a particular hatred for certain types of killers, we just haven’t seen it yet. However, I’m giving Gabriel very high marks for not turning August over to you. Xavier told me why he didn’t do it.”
“Something about pushing me over the edge.”
“Yes,” Lucas said. “Killing in self-defense is one thing, in cold blood is another. Gabriel saw the distinction and realized that if you started killing in cold blood, it wouldn’t stop. So he curbed his urge to save you.”
“That’s...” I frowned. “I don’t know.”
“Nice, sweet, thoughtful, any or all of those would work. Like a true friend, he put your needs before his own desires.”
“I believe I’ve had this conversation already,” I frowned harder. “Malachi thinks I am romantically interested in Gabriel.”
“Malachi is just terrified that he isn’t the biggest, baddest man in your life anymore. He doesn’t really believe that, he just can’t figure out how he fits into your world and he needs to fit. It’s less about you and more about himself.”
“Well, he is Malachi.”
“He is and you accept that in him. Malachi has always thought of himself as your guardian angel, now you have a few more and he isn’t sure how much he’s needed. It’s worse with Gabriel because while you are friends with Xavier and me, Gabriel seems to fulfill the role of big brother. Malachi deliberately misinterprets the connection to give him some righteous indignation. He isn’t sane enough to fulfill the role of big brother, but he could fulfill the role of lover should you ever decide to break your vow of chastity.”
“I think of you as my big brother.”
“I know, but I’m not a big brother like Gabriel is. Gabriel goads you and I don’t. That’s more sibling rivalry. It works for both of you. Gabriel needs someone to help keep his sanity. You give him power, control, a friend, a sister, and an ear when he needs to talk. As long as we all continue to fulfill our roles in the group, the group is harmonious.”
“Power, control, blah, blah,” I told Lucas. “He keeps me on a leash so I don’t become more of a predator than I already am.”
“And it works. I can’t do that for you. Xavier certainly can’t. Gabriel has his role. I have mine. Xavier has his. You have yours.”
“You didn’t mention John.”
“That’s because I don’t know John’s yet. Currently, he’s an antagonist. He stirs the pot a little too much. We aren’t as by the book as he would like and it’s a problem. One I hope he sorts out soon.” Lucas began to walk away.
“Hey,” I went after him. “What exactly is my role?”
“You fill many,” Lucas looked at me. “You can be the damsel in distress, the sister we all need because our own families don’t understand us, the friend that can listen to our woes, as long as we don’t mind you telling Nyleena or your mother, or you can be the monster that rips apart the bad guys with your bare hands and then rushes to our side to make sure we are alright.”
“I think I’m mostly monster,” I told him.
“You are, but like most monsters, you can hide in plain sight.”
“People keep pointing out that I’m a terrible friend.”
“You aren’t a terrible friend, you just don’t do secrets. Given your family, on both sides, I would be more surprised if you did keep secrets. In your mind, secrets are dangerous and maybe, evil.”
I let him go. I hadn’t considered that. I did consider secrets to be bad. Secrets led to grandfathers butchering grandmothers and then stalking their grandchildren. Secrets had let a serial killer go free for at least twenty years. Secrets had resulted in my being kidnapped by Callow and held in a closet while I thought about ways to kill him.
As I walked slowly, pondering my dislike of secrets, Gabriel came into the hall. His jaw was clenched, his face red. He saw me and his face softened.
“What’s up, Kemosabe?”
“Ace,” Gabriel took a deep breath. “It’s Nyleena.”
“Where?” I looked around.
“There was an incident. She’s in the hospital.”
“Incident? What sort of incident?”
“She’s been shot, witnesses say an older gentleman walked up to her and Nina as they got out of a car at a restaurant. Nina was killed. Nyleena was shot in the face. She’s alive, but just barely.”
I couldn’t breathe. My knees gave out under me and only Gabriel catching me kept me from hitting the floor. I had to get to her. It was the only thing I could think about. I had to get to Nyleena.