Chapter Seven
Who Looks Worse?

“This will be an easy test,” Tom told Johnny. “And the best way to get a girl’s attention.”

They were in the school gym at the end of lunch hour. Stu was there too. Stu had a video camera.

“What’s the test?” Johnny asked.

“When Connie sees who has the biggest muscles,” Tom said, “she’ll know who’s the strongest and who she should go to the dance with.”

“Not a bad idea,” Johnny said. “Maybe that will make up for watching us lose last night’s game. How does your contest work?”

Tom pointed at the gymnastic rings hanging from the ceiling.

“I’m going to take my shirt off, grab on to those rings and pull myself up. You’ll be able to see my giant muscles. And Stu will video how long I can stay up there,” Tom explained. “Then it’s your turn, and Stu will video you too. There’s no way you’ll be able to hold yourself up longer than I can.”

“Okay, but I’m not going to like making you look bad two days in a row,” Johnny said. “When Connie goes to the dance with me, just remember this was your idea.”

“Ha!” Tom said. He took off his shirt. He posed for the video camera. He flexed his muscles. Then he jumped up, grabbed the wooden rings and pulled himself up with a mighty grunt. He stayed there for ninety seconds. Finally, he was so tired he dropped to the ground.

“Look at the clock,” Tom said, pointing at the big white clock on the gym wall. “There is no way you’re going to last longer than ninety seconds.”

“Impressive,” Johnny said. “But not as impressive as I will be. You guys are right. This is a great way to get a girl’s attention.”

Johnny took off his shirt. He flexed his muscles. He jumped up and grabbed the rings. He pulled himself up with a mighty grunt. As he held himself up, he stared at the clock. He counted the seconds. There was no way he was going to let Tom win this contest. Especially with Stu recording it.

Johnny heard a chair scrape against the floor behind him. Then he felt something cold on his back that pushed him forward.

“Hey!” Johnny said. But he didn’t let go. He was only at seventy seconds. He needed to hang on for at least ninety-one seconds to win.

The cold thing on his back pushed against him even harder. Johnny couldn’t see it.

“I know that’s you, Tom,” Johnny said. “You’re trying to make me lose. But it won’t work.”

The thing on his back felt hard and round, but it didn’t hurt. Johnny gripped the rings tightly. When the cold round thing stopped pushing him forward, Johnny swung backward. Something was still stuck to his back.

Tom appeared in front of Johnny and waved.

Johnny didn’t care what was stuck to his back. Tom wasn’t going to trick him into letting go.

Johnny stared hard at the clock. His arms were tired. He only had to hold on for another ten seconds to beat Tom.

Stu moved to the side and kept filming Johnny.

“I’m going to win,” Johnny said loudly to the camera. He watched the clock. To beat Tom, all he had to do was stay up for six more seconds.

Five…Four…Three…Two…One…

“I win!” Johnny shouted. He dropped down from the rings. He raised his arms in triumph and posed for the video camera.

“Nice try, Tom,” Johnny said. “But your dirty trick didn’t work.”

Now Johnny could finally take off the thing stuck on his back.

He reached behind himself. His hands touched a wooden handle. The handle stuck straight out of his back. It was as if he had been shot by a giant arrow. But it didn’t hurt.

He yanked at the handle. The round thing on his back pulled at his skin.

What was going on? What was on his back?

He had to reach so far behind himself it was hard to get a good grip on the handle.

He tried tugging the stick from side to side. But the round thing remained stuck to his back and pulled on his skin.

“Are you getting this on video?” Tom asked Stu. “It should look much better than the photos Johnny took of me yesterday. Connie will think this is very funny.”

“What’s going on?” Johnny asked.

“I pushed a toilet-bowl plunger onto your back,” Tom said. “I don’t think Connie will want to dance with someone who runs around the gym with a plunger stuck to him.”

“This isn’t funny!” Johnny said.

“Sure it is,” Tom said. “If you and I had done this to Stu, you’d be laughing.”

“Come on,” Johnny said. “Help me.”

Tom took Johnny’s shirt and ran out of the gym. Stu followed.

Johnny couldn’t leave the gym without the whole school seeing him. He was trapped. His shirt was off. And he had a plunger stuck to his back.

That’s when the bell rang.

And all the girls came in for dance class.