“Okay, okay, okay,” Stu said. “I was wrong. I admit it. I should never have made you two play tricks on each other to look bad in front of Connie. But I want to take Connie to the dance for the free dinners. How’s that different from you two?”
It was lunch hour. Stu and Johnny and Tom sat together at a table in the cafeteria.
“That’s true,” Johnny said. “I want the graphite hockey stick.”
“And I just enjoy winning, especially if Johnny loses,” Tom said. “I guess we shouldn’t get mad at each other over this.”
“Are you going to finish that?” Stu pointed at the last half of Johnny’s hamburger.
“No,” Johnny said.
Stu put the leftover hamburger in his mouth. He chewed twice and swallowed.
“Even if we aren’t mad at each other, we have a problem,” Johnny said. “There are three of us. Connie can only go to the dance with one of us.”
“It’s not a problem,” Tom said. “I say let the best man win. Let’s see who really got her attention.”
“That might not be the real problem,” Stu said. “Has it occurred to either of you that we actually have to ask Connie to go to the dance, not just get her attention?”
“Oh,” Johnny said.
“Oh,” Tom said.
The three friends thought about this in silence for about a minute.
“She’s probably in the library,” Stu said. He stood up. “Eldridge has been helping her with math.”
Tom stood up. “It would be easier to ask her if we were together.”
Johnny stood up. “I’m not scared to ask her, but I’ll come with you to help you guys out.”
They found Connie and Eldridge at a table in the library with their books open.
“You first,” Johnny said to Tom.
“No, you first,” Tom said to Johnny.
Both of them looked at Stu. “You first.”
That didn’t work.
“Rock, paper, scissors,” Johnny said. “Loser goes first.”
They played rock, paper, scissors.
Tom lost, and then Stu lost. Johnny was going to be the last one to ask her.
Tom said, “Connie, you’re a good dancer. Will you go to the Valentine’s fundraiser with me?”
“I’m sorry,” Connie said. “I would like to, but not this time.”
Stu said, “Connie, I would like to win the free dinners. Will you go to the Valentine’s fundraiser with me?”
“I’m sorry,” Connie said. “I would like to, but not this time.”
“Like you said,” Johnny told Tom, “may the best man win.”
Johnny said, “Connie, don’t think I’m asking because I think you are cute or anything like that, but will you go to the Valentine’s fundraiser with me?”
“I’m sorry,” Connie said. “I would like to, but not this time.”
“Is it because I hurt myself on the flagpole and licked a bumper?” Tom said.
“No,” Connie said, “I thought that was funny.”
“Is it because it looked like I wet my pants in science class?” Stu said.
“No,” Connie said, “I thought that was funny.”
“Is it because I drank toilet water and had a plunger stuck to my back?” Johnny said.
“No,” Connie said, “I thought that was funny too.”
“Then why not?” Tom asked. “How could you say no to all of us?”
“Because I want to go with Eldridge,” Connie answered.
“Eldridge?” Johnny said. “He didn’t even score any goals for the Timberwolves.”
“Eldridge?” Tom said. “He can’t even make a good armpit noise.”
“Eldridge?” Stu said. “What did he do?”
“Me?” Eldridge said. “I never thought about going to the dance. I’m too shy.”
“You’ve spent a lot of time helping me with my computer and my homework,” Connie said to Eldridge. “Once I heard about the Valentine’s fundraiser, I thought it might be nice to help you too. I’m a pretty good dancer, so there’s a good chance we might win the dance contest. Do you think you’d like to go with me?”
“Sure,” Eldridge said, “as long as you’ll teach me to dance.”
Johnny, Tom and Stu turned to leave.
As they walked out of the library, Johnny shook his head at Tom and Stu and said, “Girls! I don’t know if I’ll ever understand them.”