’Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again.
Rachel’s Luther Vandross ringtone filled the air inside her Range Rover. She debated not answering, but she couldn’t bring herself to ignore her father’s phone call.
“Hello,” she said, pushing the TALK button on her speaker.
“Hey, baby girl,” Simon softly said.
“Hey.”
A brief silence hung between them. Finally Simon said, “Did I do something to make you mad?”
Rachel let out a deep sigh. She wanted to say there was no way her father could be so clueless. But there was. She’d grown up without him even realizing how much his actions (everything from missing her dance recitals to his condemnations) hurt her.
“I mean, Brenda said you were mad. That’s why you left,” Simon said.
A pause, then Rachel replied, “I’m good.”
It was Simon’s turn to sigh. “That means you’re not. Is this about Jasmine, I mean, what I said about her?”
Rachel choked back the lump in her throat. What was she supposed to say? I’m upset because you were proudly talking about your new daughter?
“It’s no big deal, Daddy.”
He hesitated again. “Well, you left before signing the papers. That’s why you came over here in the first place.”
Rachel silently cursed. “Dad, can I just do it tomorrow?”
“They have to be signed and postmarked today. Brenda is gonna take them to the post office soon as we’re done.”
Rachel wanted to tell him to forge her name or something, but she knew there was no way her father would ever do something illegal.
“Fine,” she huffed. “I’ll be back in ten.”
Rachel exited off the freeway and made a U-turn to head back to her father’s house.
When she pulled back into the driveway, Rachel hesitated before getting out. Was she being petty? “No,” she mumbled. Her feelings were very much real and her father needed to take those feelings into consideration when dealing with this situation.
Rachel looked around to make sure Teeny’s truck was gone, then she got out and dragged herself up the walkway.
“Are you okay?” Brenda asked, meeting her at the door.
Rachel nodded as she stepped inside. “Where’s Dad?”
“Still in the den.” Brenda leaned in and whispered, “Talk to him about it, Rachel. You know your father. He didn’t mean anything, but he’s not going to understand that this affects you, too, unless you tell him.”
Rachel gave Brenda a slight smile. After her mother died, Rachel had never wanted to see her father with anyone else. But she couldn’t deny how good Brenda was to and for her father. And while she’d never fully embraced her stepmother, the woman still never failed to dispense motherly advice.
As she made her way to the back, Rachel took Brenda’s words into account. She had to let her father know what she was feeling. Growing up, she’d held on to bitterness about her father’s detachment, but she’d come so far since then. She wasn’t about to travel down that road again.
Simon dropped the photo he was looking at and sat up as Rachel walked in. He’d moved it quickly, but Rachel could tell it was that old tattered photo of Doris.
“Baby girl, I’m sorry,” Simon said.
Rachel eased onto the sofa next to him. “So am I. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that. It’s just . . . it’s just that . . .” For some reason, she felt like a little girl pleading for love and attention again. “It’s just that, well, I’m no longer your only daughter. That’s a huge pill to swallow. And then to see your excitement about Jasmine . . .”
Simon scooted up to the edge of his chair and reached out to take her hand. “Rachel, I know we’ve had some issues, but you will always be my number one girl. Yes, I’m excited about Jasmine, because she’s a piece of my first love, but that doesn’t discount what I feel for you.”
Rachel grimaced as he continued. “Your mother knew that,” he added, as if he could tell that was painful to hear. “She knew how I felt about Doris. Loretta knew that while Doris and I were young, our love was very real. I would’ve married her if I could have. When I lost contact with Doris, it broke my heart. I tried everything, but my letters went unanswered and I had no way to get in touch with her. I wanted to find her so we could spend the rest of our lives together. But that wasn’t God’s plan. God wanted me to marry your mother.”
Rachel hadn’t even realized she was crying until a tear fell onto her lap.
“Your mother was okay with that because it was my past,” Simon continued.
“But it’s like you want to relive the past.”
“Why? Because I talk about Doris with fondness? I loved her. And to know that she carried my child, and to think of all she had to endure . . .” Simon’s words trailed off as he choked back his words. “I just want to get to know the child I didn’t get to know.”
His words were profound and tore at Rachel’s heart. She took a deep breath and found herself saying, “You really want her at the reunion, don’t you?”
“Nothing would make me prouder,” Simon said. “I know our family is a little different from hers.”
That finally made Rachel chuckle. “A little?”
“Regardless, it’s family and I want her to get to know us. Get to know me.”
Rachel smiled at her father. “I get that.”
“So will you help me? Maybe call her and let me talk to her?”
That wiped the smile right off her face. “What makes you think she will take my calls?”
Simon shrugged. “I don’t know if she will. But I have to exhaust every effort. I will exhaust every effort. I’m not giving up.”
“Dad, I just don’t know. Jasmine is not taking this news well and I just don’t like you calling her, because she might say the wrong thing.”
“And? Won’t be the first time someone said something to me sideways. She has a right to be angry, so it won’t bother me none.”
Rachel sighed. She knew it would be a moot point to try to convince Simon Jackson of anything else once he set his mind to something.
“Fine.”
“Fine? So, you’ll call?” He was acting like a kid about to go get his favorite snow cone.
“Yes.” Rachel nodded.
“You’ll call now?”
Rachel shook her head, but dug in her purse for her cell phone. “Yes, Daddy. I’ll call now.”
A sense of relief and happiness swept over Simon, while Rachel fought back the stinging feeling in her heart. She scrolled through her phone until she reached the Ts. She swiped “Old Troll” and waited for Jasmine’s number to begin ringing. It rang once. Then twice. By the third ring, Rachel was hoping that it went to voice mail, so she almost hung up when Jasmine picked up.
“Yes, Rachel?” Jasmine said, not bothering to hide her irritation.
“Hey,” Rachel said, not feeding into her attitude. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” Her tone was dry, as if Rachel was getting on her nerves.
“Well, good. I, um, I was calling, well, I’m here with my, our . . . with Daddy,” she said, pushing the words out.
Silence filled the phone and Rachel had no idea what to make of it.
“He just, he wanted to speak with you,” Rachel continued.
“Rachel, I’m not—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Simon took the phone out of her hand. “Jasmine. It’s Simon.”
Rachel watched her father intensely. Everything inside her wanted to snatch the phone back. Jasmine wasn’t ready. Rachel could hear it in her silence.
“I’m so happy to talk to you. I know this is all a bit much, but I just, well, I need to see you. To talk to you.” He paused and it was killing Rachel, wanting to know what Jasmine was saying. Simon continued. “I understand that and I’m sorry to call you like this. But I left a few messages. I have so much I need to say. I’m sure you have questions, too. I mean, there’s so much I could tell you about your mother and I know this is difficult, but you were conceived in love and I want to make sure—” He paused again. “I understand, but if you would just give me a chance, I know I could answer some of your questions. I was thinking our family reunion next week would be the perfect time. We’ll have almost a hundred of our family members in Smackover, Arkansas, and I could show you where me and your mom met. I could introduce you to relatives.” He was rushing his words out as if he was scared she would hang up on him at any moment.
Rachel was on the edge of her seat. Then the deflated look that passed over her father’s face told her Jasmine’s answer.
“I really wish . . .” He took a deep breath. “Well, take some time and think about it . . . I understand . . . Yes . . . Okay. Thank you for talking to me.”
He slowly eased the phone away from his ear and handed it back to Rachel.
“Well, what did she say?” Rachel asked as she took her phone and dropped it back in her purse.
“She said no.”
“No? Just no?”
“Just no.” Simon stood and Rachel saw the mist in his eyes. That broke her heart. She could count on one finger the number of times she’d ever seen her father cry. “Excuse me, baby girl,” he said. “I need to go.”
He scurried out of the room. Rachel knew he needed to be alone so she didn’t go after him. But now she was incensed. Jasmine wasn’t the only one hurting. They all were, and if there was one thing she wasn’t going to do, it was stand by while Jasmine hurt her father even more. She’d put her own feelings aside to give her father this one wish.
Rachel felt a new resolve. Jasmine would be going to their family reunion. If she had to, Rachel would use every trick she had to make that happen.