Seek to be clear and transparent, only what God wants. As you do His will you are made ever more pure and transparent.
JEANNE GUYON
I THROW BACK the covers and climb into bed. Man, it's been a long day and it's time to put it to rest. "Hasta la vista, baby." I reach to turn off the lamp next to the bed just as Tess wanders in. She stops at the door and looks at me.
"You're in bed?"
"Nothing like stating the obvious, babe." I flip the light off.
"Hey, wait. You've got to read this."
I sigh and sit back up. My stomach growls, my head aches, and my patience is thinner than thin. I switch the lamp back on and take the piece of paper Tess hands me.
"Lightseeker?" Finally.
"No, Jenna Bouvier."
I look at Tess and then back at the blog she's printed. "What?"
"Read it."
I read the first line of the blog and my heart stops. "Whoa . . ."
"You didn't know?"
I look up and read pain in her eyes. Oh, man, not cool. "Yeah, I knew, but . . . babe, I couldn't tell you."
She looks at the ground and seems to think. When she looks back at me, she nods. I reach over and pull back the covers on her side of the bed and pat the mattress. "Come here." She hesitates, but then comes and crawls in beside me. I put my arm around her shoulders and she settles in while I read the rest of the blog.
"Whoa . . . dude." This is what I've been praying for. I don't know what went on to get her to this point, but baby, she is depending on God and following Him. I lean over, kiss Tess on the cheek, and then lift my hand for a high five.
She gives me a half-hearted five. "So . . . did you know she was going to do this?"
"Nah, this is between her and God." I sit up straighter and turn so I'm facing Tess. "I knew something was up. Not because she told me, but because . . . well, I just knew."
"God told you?"
I look at her and see she's serious. She wants to know.
"Yeah, God told me. I mean, not in so many words, not like a booming voice from above. But I knew it here." I pat my chest. "That's why I've been fasting. I felt like God said Jenna was heading into a storm and that He wanted me to fast and pray for her."
I hold the blog up. "I'm guessing this is the storm." I look back at the blog and smile. "Looks like she's weathering it."
"Yeah, but . . . what will she do?"
I shrug. "I don't know."
"Do you think she'll be okay?"
I look back at the blog post and read the last few sentences again. Then I look back at Tess and see compassion in her expression. I reach out and put my palm on the side of her face and then lean in and kiss her. When I pull back, I look her in the eyes. "Yeah, she'll be okay. God is with her, Tess. She's following Him. He'll lead. He'll provide. But that doesn't mean it will be easy."
She nods and is quiet for a minute. "I think . . . we should . . . pray for her. You know? Right now. Together."
I swallow the lump in my throat. "Okay, let's do that." I put my arm around Tess's shoulders again and pull her close and then we both bow our heads and I listen as my wife . . . prays.
Dude, my wife prays!
When she finishes, with her head still bowed, she elbows me letting me know it's my turn. So I pray for Jenna—pray for continued strength. Pray for God's provision. Pray for her future.
After I say "Amen," Tess and I lift our heads and look at each other. Her emerald eyes glow. I suck in my breath and reach for her face. I hold her face in my hands.
"You've never looked more beautiful." I watch as a blush creeps over her freckled cheeks. "Your eyes . . ."
They're smoldering. Ignited by My Spirit, Matthew.
She puts her hand over mine. "Babe? Are you okay? Are you . . . crying?"
I swallow. "Yeah, I'm okay. More than okay." Then my stomach rumbles in a big way and Tess giggles.
"Let's eat!"
"Really? Can you?"
I nod. "Yeah, I think I just got the green light. It's time to break my fast." I throw the covers back, leap out of bed, and race Tess to the kitchen. As she pulls leftovers out of the fridge and puts them on a plate, I stand and look out the kitchen window and see a full moon peeking through angry clouds.
There's a break in the storm.
But it hasn't passed.