“Trials in life are not meant to make us fail; but to see how far we can fly.” Ilifequotes
Stiles prayed that his life would get back to normal but it seemed that as time passed things got worse instead of better. He thought of the latest trial that God had allowed into his life. The mass shooting at Holy Rock seven months ago, discovering that Audrey, the woman he loved and knew as his mother, was not his mother, the tragic murder of his sister and brother-in-law at the hands of a deranged woman, Margaret who was his real mother, and to seal the deal, Hezekiah McCoy was his brother.
“God, I don’t know what you have for me in all of this, and I definitely don’t see how any of what’s happened in my life these past couple of years and these last few months could work out for my good. No way. I know your ways are not my ways,” Stiles said as he sat in his recliner in his man cave pausing from watching First Take to converse with God. “I know you called me to be a messenger of your Word, but I don’t know how much longer I can hold up. I’m in a state of peril, Father. I need a word from you, a rhema word, Father God.”
His cell phone rang in the middle of him pouring out before God. Stiles momentarily paused then ignored the ringing phone and continued his talk with his Father. For the next twenty minutes or more, he cried, he prayed, he pleaded, and beseeched God to deliver him from evil and restore what had been taken away from him.
In front of his congregation Sunday after Sunday, since returning to Houston and to his church family, he put on a face of contentment when inside he was hurting and heartbroken. His messages to the people of God remained strong and uplifting but Stiles didn’t know how much longer he could put on a ‘happy’ face.
His phone started ringing again, moments after he finished his spiritual talk and returned to watching the last few minutes of his favorite sports talks show. He picked up the phone, recognizing it was Pastor’s ring.
“Hello, Pastor.”
“Hi, son. I was calling to check on you. We haven’t talked in at least a month, maybe longer.”
“Has it been that long?”
As Stiles thought about it, Pastor was right. He hadn’t talked to him in almost a month. That told him that he had been consumed with too many other things in his life and that wasn’t like Stiles. He always tried to make time to talk to Pastor. Tomorrow was not promised, and that had been made absolutely clearer than ever after everything that went down at Holy Rock during that awful Jubilee weekend.
“You must be pretty busy there in Houston, huh?”
“I should never be too busy to check in on you and Josie. How are you, Pastor? How is Josie?”
“Still blessed, son. Blessed and highly favored.”
Stiles smiled at hearing Pastor still give praises to God after everything he had gone through. Margaret had practically shamed him, told all of his dirty secrets, and belittled him before the congregation of Holy Rock. She had slaughtered innocent people like Francesca, her husband Tim, and Pastor’s closest friends, Rena’s parents.
“That’s good to hear, Pastor. I’m doing the best I can. Still been battling some spiritual issues in my life, but that’s between the good Lord and me. I do remember the last time we talked you said you had returned to Holy Rock.”
“Yes, I told you before you left Memphis that I was not going to allow Hezekiah to put me out of the church. He removed me from being one of the ministers and I can deal with that, but to tell me that I wasn’t welcome at Holy Rock? No way. Me and Josie go there at least a couple of Sundays out of the month. She still feels a tad bit uncomfortable going since she knows how Hezekiah feels so I pacify her by visiting churches of some of my other preacher friends. I must say, I enjoy it but then again there’s no place like home, you know.”
Stiles could hear the hurt in Pastor’s voice. It was sad that Hezekiah acted the way that he did toward Pastor. Sure, finding out that Pastor was his father and Stiles his brother was hard on Hezekiah. Stiles believed that was partially the cause of Hezekiah’s stroke. From what he had learned, Hezekiah had suffered with hypertension for many years even though he was a relatively young man. The stress and shock from Margaret’s revelation probably sent his pressure through the roof and it wasn’t long after the mass shooting that Hezekiah had the stroke.
Stiles had reached out to his brother before he departed Memphis, but of course Hezekiah was still bitter about everything. Stiles couldn’t blame him. After all, they’re both human and the flesh can be weak and vulnerable when hit with the onslaught of what happened to them. But even with that, Stiles longed to have a relationship with his brother. He wanted to get to know the man Hezekiah and his nephews Khalil and Xavier. It was the only family he had now.
“Are you still there?” Pastor asked.
“Oh, yes, I’m here,” Stiles said, having momentarily mentally checked out as a stream of thoughts raced through his mind.
“Anyway, like I was saying, me and Josie are hanging on. God is still good. I’m praying for Hezekiah’s healing every day.”
“Have you talked to Fancy?” Stiles asked.
“No, not since I told you me and Josie saw her in the hallway at church, but that was a while ago. She spoke to us. You know she’s never been one to be mean-spirited. I asked about Hezekiah and she said he was slowly improving. Said he was able to say very short sentences and that with help he could stand up long enough to sit in one of those electric wheelchairs they got for him. You know it took some time for me to fully recover from both of the strokes I had, but I know if God healed me, He will do the same for my son. I just know He will.”
“Yes, you’re right, Pastor. Well, look, it’s been good hearing your voice. I’ll do better about calling. I’m really sorry that I’ve acted like I’m preoccupied.”
“No need to apologize. I want you to spend time with the Lord. Ask him to deliver you from this burden you’re carrying around. God is the one who wants to bear our burdens, son. He doesn’t want us carrying around the weight of things we cannot change. He wants us to lean and depend totally on him.”
“Yes, Pastor. Thanks for the word of encouragement. I love you. We’ll talk in a couple days,” Stiles said.
“Before you hang up, I want you to do something for me,” Pastor said.
“Sure, what is it?”
“I want you to reach out to your brother, even if it has to be through his sons or Fancy. And next, I want you to open your heart to receive and give love again. This life is too short to hold on to hurt and unforgiveness. I know you’ve endured a whole lot. I mean a whole lot; more than some folks endure in a lifetime. You’ve lost your baby girl, your sister, and well, I don’t want to go into it all. I just want you to know that God is still in control, Stiles. No matter how hard it is, He’s still got you covered.”
“I hear ya,” Stiles said with a sound of sadness resounding in his voice.
“Gnite, son.”
“Gnite, Pastor.” Stiles pushed the END button on his cell phone, sat back on the sofa, and stared at the television as a dog food commercial played on the screen.
The sound of his cell phone ringing awakened Stiles. He looked around in a state of confusion. Another sports show was on and he was stretched out on the sofa, one leg on the sofa and the other one hanging off of it. He looked around, hearing his cell phone ringing but unable to find it. He looked on the floor and then reached underneath his backside and felt the phone.
It stopped ringing by the time he pulled it from underneath him. He looked at his call log and saw that he had missed two calls plus a text message from Kareena and his friend, Leo, from Memphis. He read both text messages.
“Guess you’re either sleep or out partying, lol.” The text message from Kareena read. “Call me later. Didn’t want anything.”
The text message from Leo read, “hit me up ltr. Just checking on ya, bruh.”
Stiles hit the Call Back button and listened as Kareena’s phone began ringing. It rung several times before going to her voicemail.
He looked at his phone. It was going on ten o’clock. Dang, he had been asleep for three hours! Slowly, he got up off the sofa and went to his bedroom. He looked at his phone again to see what time Kareena last called and texted him. It had been two hours ago.
He texted her back with the same message she had texted him about partying, smiling as he hit the SEND button.
Next, he undressed, and then went into his en suite bathroom and took a long hot shower. After he got done with that, he went into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and an apple before returning to his man cave. He didn’t feel like sleeping in his bed alone tonight. He would much rather camp out on the sofa and flick the remote back and forth until he fell back to sleep.
Kareena tossed and turned. She wanted so badly to answer her phone when Stiles returned her call, but she didn’t. Her feelings were all over the place. She didn’t want him to think that she was sitting around waiting on him to call her back. After all, she had friends; she had a life outside of Stiles and outside of the church.
Lately, she had been going out more with friends. She’d even met a nice guy who attended Full of Grace Ministries, too. River Garrett was his name. She hadn’t mentioned anything to Stiles about him.
Stiles had made it clear on several occasions that the two of them could never be in a serious relationship; that they were only friends. So why not live her life and move forward? She was a young woman who wanted to have fun, go out on dates, take walks in the park, and ride on Ferris wheels. She wanted to share that with a man, someone who would fall in love with her. She was ready to open her heart and receive all that a man had to give to her. Yes, she had hoped that the man would be Stiles Graham, but Stiles wasn’t ready. Kareena doubted that he would ever be ready, so it was time she accepted things for what they were.
She had called to talk to him, to hear his voice and when he didn’t answer, Kareena took it as a sign that she should let him be. Later that same evening, when River called and invited her out to dinner she readily accepted. She had to admit that she had a good time. River was extremely easy on the eyes, a real hunk. He had relocated to Houston a few months ago and joined Full of Grace shortly thereafter. He had no children, had never been married, and before his job relocated to Houston he had been in a long term relationship that ended on a sour note when she told him that she was not willing to make the move with him even though he was ready to put a ring on it. They decided that they should go their separate ways and that was that, according to River.
After she returned home from dinner with River, Kareena went over some paperwork she needed to complete for tomorrow evening’s church business meeting. Her text notifier chimed; it was a message from Stiles. When she read it, she smiled, laid her phone down, and went back to doing what she was doing.