“Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.” Unknown
Stiles and Fancy had been conversing on the phone back and forth for the past several days. He initially had plans to drive to Memphis and stay for a few weeks, but there was so much going on at Full of Grace Ministries, that he had to change his plans at the last minute. One being that a long time member of the church who had been ill, died. Stiles could not see himself leaving at this time for a lengthy period. He wanted to be there for the man’s family, his widow who was up in age, and his children and grandchildren, all faithful, loyal members of Full of Grace. The guest evacuees would be there for a couple more weeks too, so the day he was to leave, he changed his mind about driving to Memphis and instead had his administrative assistant to book him a flight for the weekend, and he would return on Monday. He would be back in time to eulogize Mr. Johnson and make plans to return to Memphis a couple of weeks after that.
He didn’t take Fancy up on her offer to stay at her and Hezekiah’s house, but chose to stay with Pastor and Josie this first time around. Soon after his plane landed, he picked up his rental car and drove straight to Pastor and Josie’s house. He spent a couple of hours with them before he called Fancy and told her he was in town.
“I’m glad you had a safe flight,” she said.
“Thanks, Sista Fancy.”
“Are you sure you want to visit Hezekiah this evening?”
“Yes, that’s the main reason for my visit, and of course to see about you. I’m only here for the weekend as I told you due to the death of one of my members.”
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“We all have to make that journey one day. Anyway, send me that address again, and I’ll save it in my phone and then I’ll be on my way. You don’t have to go with me, you know.”
“I know, but I want to. I haven’t gone to see him in almost two weeks. I usually try to go at least once a week but it’s been so busy and there is a situation at home that, well that’s weighing heavily on me. I didn’t want to project that onto Hezekiah. He knows me too well; he’ll know that something isn’t right.”
“Let’s talk.”
“Maybe we will, but as for now, you just concentrate on your brother. He needs someone to get through to him ‘cause God knows I can’t,” Fancy said.
Stiles detected her frustration in her voice. He couldn’t understand why Hezekiah was so angry with Fancy and even with him when it was none of their faults what occurred between Margaret and Pastor. He wanted to have a relationship with his brother and now that his sister and brother-in-law were dead, he really wanted to make things work with Hezekiah. He longed for family and to have a brother was something he always wanted.
Stiles finished getting dressed, said a quick goodbye to Pastor and Josie, and left to go see his brother and of course Fancy, too.
Stiles was pleasantly surprised to hear Hezekiah’s speech was beginning to improve somewhat. He remained wheelchair bound and unable to walk. Most of his words still came out tangled, but if he took his time talking like the speech pathologist taught him, sometimes his words could be deciphered.
When he first saw Stiles enter into his room, Hezekiah showed total dissatisfaction. “What the….?” he managed to say.
Disregarding Hezekiah’s less than accepting greeting, Stiles said, “Hello to you, too.” He understood that Hezekiah still had a lot of anger inside of him, but as his brother, he was willing and ready to look past that and work on building a relationship with him. Perhaps they would never grow close as brothers, but Stiles hoped that they could learn to be civil toward one another and cordial. He wanted Hezekiah to know that regardless of how things happened in the past, that he wanted them to forget those things that were behind and look to their futures as blood brothers and men of God.
Fancy stood behind Stiles looking on. She had warned Stiles that Hezekiah was not easy to get along with. He still treated her like she was garbage. He couldn’t get past the fact that she had ‘put him away’ as he described it. But it wasn’t her fault that he had abused her. She wasn’t going to have it, not ever. Even when he got well enough to come home, Fancy didn’t know if she would remain in the house with him or not. Instead of absence making her heart grow fonder, absence was making her heart wonder.
She made up in her mind that on Stiles’ next visit that she would tell him about Hezekiah and Detria’s nasty affair. Hezekiah would say that she was betraying him, but again, her feelings for her husband were diminishing by the day. She had prayed about it more than once, but each time she thought of him, instead of the love she once felt for him she felt anger, distrust, and disgust. Those combinations were not good—not good at all.
“You’re my brother. I had to come to see about you,” Stiles continued.
“No need,” Hezekiah struggled.
“Oh, but there is. Whether you like it or not, we were born of the same woman. We come from the same womb. We share the same blood. What my mother—what Audrey--did was wrong and it was deceitful and cruel. Our mother, Margaret, paid the ultimate price for it, but that is not our fault. There is no need for us to war against one another. We are not Cane and Abel, Hezekiah. I am your brother; I want to have a relationship with you. I want to be here for you.”
“Why?”
“Why? Have you not heard anything I’ve said? We’re brothers. Do I need any reason other than that?”
“Want nothing…..with….you…father.”
“You mean your father, don’t you? Pastor is your biological father, not mine. I could be angry about that, but I’m not. The man raised me.”
“I’m going to give you two some time alone,” Fancy finally interjected. “I’m going downstairs. Visiting hours are over in,” she looked at her cell phone that she held in her hand, “forty minutes. Hezekiah, I won’t be back up here. I’ll check on you later this week.”
“No,” he said. “Go,” he turned and said to Stiles.
“I think we have more to talk about, a lot more.”
“Go…no brother,” he said.
“Oh, Hezekiah, stop being so stubborn and evil. You sound so foolish! Don’t you see that your brother is reaching out to you? He’s extending an olive branch to you and you have the nerve to turn it away. None of what has happened is his fault! You should be grateful that he wants you in his life!” Fancy yelled. She was sick of Hezekiah and his mean ways. “Start acting like the man God called you to be.”
“Out. Go…no….come back!” he yelled. His words were slow but they were exact and vengeful sounding just the same, perhaps even more so since each word was heavily pronounced.
Hezekiah turned his electric chair away from his two visitors, bolted out of his room, almost knocking poor Fancy over once again, and took off down the hall and out of sight.
Fancy ran out of the room and didn’t stop until she approached the elevators. Stiles was right behind her. Fancy pushed the elevator button, and then held her head in her hands and cried. The elevator opened. No one was on it. Stiles held the door back and ushered her inside.
“Don’t cry, Fancy. He’s just going through a lot.” He gathered her in his arms as the door to the elevator closed.
She looked up at Stiles. “I can’t take it. It’s too much. If I really thought he was behaving this way because of the stroke, then I think I would be able to tolerate his actions more, but I don’t think it has anything to do with the stroke,” she said, stepping back, looking into her purse, and pulling out a tissue to wipe her face.
“What else could it be? I mean I’m sure this stroke has taken a toll on him, Fancy. I remember when Pastor had his stroke, he became distant, on edge, and depressed. And if you consider everything that’s happened with Pastor, Margaret, the shooting, the man is going through a lot. Even I’m still having a hard time digesting everything that’s happened.”
The doors to the elevator opened and they both stepped out. Stiles put an arm around her shoulder as she continued to sniffle and cry. They walked outside to the car and he opened the door for her.
“Why don’t we grab something to eat,” he suggested. “Maybe it’ll take your mind off this and you can tell me what else is going on.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think to offer you anything to eat when you came to the house.”
“I didn’t stay, remember. I just came and scooped you up to come here. It’s all right anyway. We’re going now.”
“What would you like to eat?”
“Let’s go to Déjà Vu. Are they still open? Stiles asked.
“Yes, they should be. I’ll check on my phone.”
“Okay, then Déjà Vu it is.”
“Do you remember how to get there?”
“Sure, I do.”
At the popular Cajun and soul food restaurant, Fancy and Stiles dined on an array of food, all delicious and filling. They laughed and talked about the good times they enjoyed at Holy Rock when Stiles was senior pastor. For a while, Fancy felt the burdens and weights of her family problems being pushed aside. Laughter truly proved to be like a good medicine.
Deep into their dinnertime, the conversation turned serious when Stiles inquired about what had her so troubled, other than Hezekiah.
She initially thought that she shouldn’t talk about what Xavier came home a few nights ago and told her. His ordeal with the police, his night in jail, and the drug charges he faced, but she needed someone she felt that she could trust. Her spirit told her that she could release her troubles on the trusted ears of Stiles, and so she did. She slowly began to open up to him and before long she freely talked. She told him everything that had been going on and then she told him about Hezekiah’s affair with Detria and that the harlot had twisted the mind of Khalil as well.
After they were done eating some two hours later, they prepared to leave the restaurant. As they walked downtown toward Stiles’ car, she began crying all over again when they arrived at the car.
Stiles, much like he did in the elevator, pulled her against his chest, smoothed back her hair, and whispered, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
“That…that’s one of my favorite passages of scripture.” She moved away from him, not in haste, but slowly and looked into his handsome face and his dark brown eyes. “How did you know?”
“I didn’t. The Holy Spirit has a way of knowing what we need when we need it.” He looked at her, took her hand into his, and continued ministering to her. “You have to remain strong, Fancy. Remember, there is nothing too hard for God. You know that. I know it’s difficult. Xavier in trouble; Detria playing these sick, sin-filled games, Hezekiah, an adulterer and troubled man, Khalil’s new position at Holy Rock. It’s a lot. But I want you to know that I’m here for you, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”
He stroked her natural hair and she allowed her tears to flow while they stood at his car and people passed them by. Minutes later, he opened the door and she got inside the car. They drove in silence to Fancy’s house.
“Do you want to come inside?” she asked him, as she wiped fresh tears from her face. “I’m so sorry that I’ve put all of this on you.”
“I’ll walk you to the door, and there’s no need to be sorry. You need someone to talk to. Being a first lady makes it hard to know who you can trust and who you can turn to during times like these. Of course, we know you are to rely on God, but as humans, in this flesh, we yearn to hear the words of another person sometimes. We want to have someone to do just what we did earlier, have a shoulder to cry on. I’ll be that shoulder for you, Fancy as long as you need me to. I promise to come to Memphis as often as possible until much of this is resolved.”
They got out of the car and Stiles walked her to the door as promised.
“You sure you don’t want to spend the night? I have plenty of room,” she offered.
“No, maybe tomorrow night. I promised Pastor that I would spend tonight with him and Josie. I plan on going back to the rehab facility to talk to Hezekiah tomorrow.”
“But you heard what he said; he doesn’t want you back. He doesn’t even want me to come back.”
“We say and do a lot of things when we’re hurt and angry. I’m going to try to talk to him again.”
“I hope that you’ll come to church Sunday.”
“You know I can’t pass up a chance to visit Holy Rock whenever I come to Memphis. It’s part of me, so of course I’ll be there. Tomorrow after I leave from seeing Hezekiah, I want to see if I can meet up with Khalil and Xavier, separately, if possible. Is Xavier home tonight?”
“He probably is. He parks in the garage. He’s not one to venture out much, and it’s even less since he caught that ridiculous charge,” Fancy said, finding herself growing upset all over again.
“I didn’t mean to make you upset again. If you will, text me his number. I’ll give him a call and see if he’ll meet with me sometime tomorrow. I’ll do the same for Khalil.”
“Thank you, Stiles.” Fancy stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “God bless you.”
“Hey, what’s a brother-in-law for?” he chuckled and so did Fancy.
“Now go on inside. I’m going to Pastor’s house and hit the sack. It’s been a long eventful day and evening,” he said and smiled again.
“Goodnight, Stiles.”
“Goodnight, Fancy.”
Fancy walked inside the house, closing the door behind her as she heard Stiles’ drive away. She smiled as she walked in the kitchen, sat her purse on the kitchen island, removed her shoes, and went to the refrigerator. She removed a bottle of wine, poured herself a glass, and took it upstairs to her bedroom.
Xavier stepped out of his room. “Oh, hey, Ma.”
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“You been to see Dad?” he asked.
“Yes. I think you should go see him. You and Khalil have only been there twice since your father’s been there.”
“He doesn’t want to see us,” Xavier said dryly.
“I understand, but you should still try. Pastor Stiles, your father’s brother, is in town this weekend. He went with me today to see him.”
“I bet Dad wasn’t too happy about that.”
Fancy took a sip of her wine. “No, he wasn’t to say the least.”
“That bad, huh?”
Fancy nodded. “Yes, but enough about Hezekiah. How are you? Were you able to see Raymone today? I know you said you were going to try to see if he would finally agree to see you.”
Xavier’s head hung low. “No, he still doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel so bad, Ma.”
“I know, baby. But give him time. He’s going through a lot. He has to learn how to live his life in a whole new way.”
“All because of me,” Xavier cried.
“Xavier, don’t do this to yourself. You have to forgive yourself, honey. Listen, I gave Stiles your phone number. He wants to talk to you while he’s here. And please, before you tell him no or before you get upset with me about giving him your number, will you just listen to what he has to say? We all need someone to talk to, someone to give us Godly counsel. Someone who will not judge us or look down on us for the mistakes we’ve made. Please, Xavier. If he calls, don’t brush him off.”
Xavier wiped his tears. “I’m going to go pick up a pizza I ordered. I’ll be back,” he said and walked off.
“Xavier, wait.”
“What is it, Ma?”
“Have you thought anymore about attending Xavier? You only have a few weeks before it’s time to leave. I’ll go do some college shopping for you next week. There’s so much you’re going to need for your dorm room.”
“Do you even have to ask about whether or not I’m still going to college? Don’t you see, Ma. Any hopes of going to Xavier University are gone….done…over,” he said forcefully. “I screwed that up. First, with the accident, and now with this charge. So don’t ask me about Xavier anymore.”
“Honey, it’s not over. You can still go to college. Xavier University is where you’ve had your sights on going since you were in middle school. You can’t let what’s going on here stop you. We’ll work it out. I promise,” she said as she walked up on her son and stroked his arm tenderly.
“I already contacted them and let them know my circumstances have changed and I wouldn’t be attending. I turned down the scholarship, too so just leave it alone. Leave me alone already,” he yelled, stormed down the stairs, went into the kitchen, and Fancy faintly heard the door leading to the garage open and shut.
She shook her head slowly and walked the rest of the way to her room. She took the glass of wine to her bathroom, set it on the bathroom vanity, and started running a warm bath for herself.
In her mind, she repeated the passage of scripture Stiles shared with her earlier as she undressed. When you pass through the waters…