“I wish I could go back to the day I first met you and just walk away.” Unknown
“Are you sure about this?” Fancy asked.
“I’m more than sure. I’m not going to leave you to handle this on your own,” Stiles explained. He planned a trip to Memphis after talking to Fancy and learning everything that had been going on. Whether Hezekiah liked it or not, he was going to talk to him. Hopefully, he could talk some sense into his brother. “I’ll be driving up there Sunday afternoon after the end of worship service.”
“Okay, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you. Oh, and Stiles this time please accept my invitation to stay here at the house.”
“Sure, Fancy, I’d be glad to.” They ended their call and Stiles turned around and called his good friend, Leo to let him know that he would be in town. Leo and his wife Cynthia had remained members of Holy Rock. He was no longer a deacon, thanks to Hezekiah’s choosing, but Leo still remained active in the ministry. He was a part of the Finance Ministry and the New Members Ministry.
Leo never particularly cared for Hezekiah because Hezekiah just didn’t seem like a trustworthy man like Stiles, but Leo was not one to judge. He had his own skeletons to contend with so he did his best to work with Hezekiah. Serving on the Finance and New Members ministries was fulfilling for him and he felt less pressure than he did when he was a deacon under Stiles’ leadership.
“I’ll be looking for ya, bruh,” Leo told Stiles. “Maybe we can catch a Grizzlies game while you’re here.”
“Yeah, you know it,” was Stiles response.
The weather was still pleasant in Memphis even though it was mid-October. Stiles had his car packed and ready for the trip. He said his goodbyes to Kareena and once again headed up the highway to Memphis. He wondered would there ever be a time when he would move pass his past? Would Memphis forever hold him hostage and would it always be equated with pain and heartbreak? Hopefully, he would be able to find some peace and a little bit of happiness by building a relationship with his brother and nephews. He prayed for God to make it so.
Fancy had not returned to the nursing facility since her awful encounter with Hezekiah two and half weeks ago. Stroke or no stroke, he had really hurt her this time and it was going to be hard to forgive and forget.
Khalil had done some investigating of his own but he still hadn’t found out who this mystery woman was that was listed on the fake Will Fancy received in her mailbox. He had spoken to Detria and he started to ask for her help again, but decided against it. She knew people and if she didn’t know people she had a way of getting people to find out information. He understood that he couldn’t tell her everything, just a select few things that he shared if he thought she could help him in anyway. He also thought that she could have been the one who sent it just to get under Fancy’s skin. He could never tell about Dee; she had some strange ways which is why he would never trust her. Not to mention that if she slept with him and his daddy at the same time, then he didn’t put anything pass her.
He had met her parents, the Mackey’s, a few Sundays ago and found them to be nice and personable people. They were visiting Holy Rock. They explained that they had been members of Holy Rock for years but said they had moved their membership some time ago. Detria hadn’t been to church since that one time a few months back but when her parents told her in passing conversation that they were going to go hear Holy Rock’s new pastor, she told them to make sure they introduced themselves and let Khalil know who they were.
When the Mackey’s greeted him after service one Sunday, and introduced themselves, he realized that he had spoken to them once before since he became senior pastor; they only told him that they were Detria’s parents this time.
For now, Khalil got dressed and prepared to head to the courthouse with Xavier. This was to be the end of the charge that had been levied against his baby brother.
Xavier was up early, dressed, and ready to hopefully go end an unwanted chapter written into his life. He spent the night with Khalil the night before to avoid answering questions from his mom about today’s appearance. Fancy knew nothing about Detria hiring an attorney for him and he wanted to keep it that way. Khalil had told her that he’d found someone from Holy Rock to represent Xavier.
Xavier had lied to her, or rather avoided the truth about the actual day that he was to report back to court. When he came home today, he prayed that everything would be over and done with never to be heard of again. The main reason he didn’t want her to know his court dates was because she would probably insist on coming and then she would run into Dee Graham, which was what he had avoided happening so far.
Khalil and Xavier exchanged little conversation on the drive to the courthouse. Xavier texted back and forth with Malik.
“OTW to a meeting,” he texted Malik. “WYD?”
“OTW to work. Busy day,” Malik texted back. “Want to meet me for lunch?”
“Don’t know how long mtg going to last.”
“Text me if you get done by one. Lunch my treat.” Malik texted.
“Sure,” Xavier texted and smiled.
“You all into that texting aren’t you?” Khalil said. “Raymone?”
“Nope. Just a friend. I haven’t heard from Raymone. We don’t talk anymore. His mother did call me last week to tell me that they had settled with my insurance company.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. I guess. Still won’t make things the way they used to be. Nothing can do that.”
“You got that right, which is why as bad as it hurts, you got to move on, bruh. Accept that and be thankful that your friend is alive. He has to come to terms with his new normal. You’ve tried to reach out to him time and time again, but he can’t cope with things the way they are right now. You just got to respect that man’s privacy and if he doesn’t want to see you, he doesn’t want to see you. Send up a prayer for him. That’s about the best you can do. You feel me?”
“Yeah.”
They arrived downtown, turned on Court Street, and drove to the parking lot adjacent to the courthouse. Khalil drove around and around until they were on the top floor of the packed garage. He found a space and the brothers got out and walked to the courthouse in silence.
Just as they walked inside, Xavier spotted Dee and the attorney. “There old girl is,” he told Khalil.
“Who?”
“Your girl, Dee. See her over there standing next to my attorney.”
“First off, she’s not my girl. You know what’s up. Don’t act like you don’t.”
“Yeah, whatever, man.”
Khalil looked in the direction Xavier was headed and that’s when he saw her. Dee was an attractive woman. Her clothes fit her body to a fault. Her hair was always in place and she always, always smelled like a slice of heaven.
Khalil walked up to her, leaned in, and said devilishly. “Hey, what’s up, you? I don’t see your two bodyguards ‘round here.” He pretended to scan the courthouse.
“Khalil, don’t do this. Not here. I’ve tried to explain that what you saw is not how things looked. I was basically forced to go to see Hezekiah that day.”
“You’re right. This is not the time or place to talk about it. Anyway, it is what it is. I’m here to support my li’l brother.
Dee looked at him, grabbed hold of his hand, and Khalil jerked away and walked toward the court room.
Dee stood alone, looking heartbroken and then proceeded to walk in behind Khalil and Xavier.
Court lasted until close to noon. Just as Xavier’s attorney said, everything was settled and Xavier walked out with the case having been dropped.
He thanked Dee and his attorney again as he couldn’t shield the huge smile on his face. “Thank you, Miss Dee. Thank you so much.” He turned to the attorney standing next to Dee, shook his hand again, and gave him dap.
As he walked off, he texted Malik. “Meeting just ended. Still wanna meet for lunch?”
“Look, thanks for helping my brother,” Khalil told Dee. “I’m outta here.”
“Khalil, wait. I thought we could spend some time together,” she said. “You know, celebrate and all.”
“I’m headed to the church after I drop him off. You might wanna celebrate with my dad and George. Might be a better fit for you, baby girl,” he said smugly. For whatever reason, Khalil kissed her on her cheek and proceeded to walk off, leaving Dee standing next to the lawyer who quickly excused himself.
“If you’ll excuse me, I see my other client,” he said to Dee. “Have a good day, Miss Graham. Call me if you need my services again.”
Detria stood outside of the courtroom sulking. Her text notifier chimed. “Why you looking like you lost your best friend?”
Dee turned around to see who was watching her. She looked and looked through the maze of people and then she saw him—George.
They walked toward each other until they met up. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I could ask you the same thing, but I already know why you’re here. I thought your case had been moved upstairs to criminal court.”
“It has. I’m on my way up there now. I just walked in here and I knew you were probably somewhere lurking when I saw the McCoy punks leaving out of here. Is that why you’re here? For Xavier?”
“Yeah.”
“How did that go?”
“He got off,” she answered, looking over her shoulder as if hoping Khalil suddenly reappeared and whisked her off her feet.
“That was just a little something to shake em up,” George said and laughed.
“I’m sure yours won’t be as easy. You looking at how much time?” Dee asked, secretly bathing in the fact that soon he would be locked up somewhere and out of her life and business.
“A couple of years at the most, but it should still be a while before it goes to trial so don’t write me off just yet,” he said boastfully.
“Leave them young boys alone and you wouldn’t be in all of this mess,” she said nonchalantly.
“Hey, we all have our hang-ups’.”
“George, you’re a scumbag, but I’m sure you already know that,” Dee said and prepared to walk off.
“So I’ve been told. I’ll see you later. I’ve got to get upstairs. Remember I’m supposed to pick up your boy tomorrow for an offsite visit. I’ll see you at the condo.”
‘I don’t know about that. I have plans tomorrow.”
“It’s not like I asked you. Be there around ten. I’m picking him up at nine.”
Dee rolled her eyes and walked off, and headed outside to her car.
George laughed wickedly as he walked in the opposite direction toward the escalators.
Khalil queried Xavier as he drove him back to his apartment.
“I’m running things. You understand? Right now Ma don’t know her head from her tail. We have to look out for her.”
“And how is trying to find Dad’s money looking out for her?”
“First of all, it ain’t Dad’s money. It belongs to Holy Rock if you want to get all technical about it. He needs to be held accountable and before you say something, I don’t feel sorry for him. No wonder he had a stroke. Either way, I’m gonna find it and when I do I’ll invest it in something. Make it grow. Maybe even give it back to the church. But regardless of what I do, how I do it, or when I do it, I don’t want you to say a word to Ma about none of this. You hear me?”
“You can’t be serious. Keeping stuff from Ma ain’t right,” Xavier said, looking at his brother like he didn’t know who he was sitting next to.
“Yeah, I’m way serious. You’ll be sorry if you breathe a word to Ma or anybody, you hear me?”
“Heyyy, don’t put me in it. When Dad finds out that you’re just as big of a traitor as he is, he’ll flip. And Ma is gonna find out. You’re asking for trouble, Khalil.”
“Dad is going to pay. He’s going down for embezzling church funds. Stroke or no stroke. The way he’s done Ma and us, he deserves to go back to prison, and I’m going to see that he does. You can be with me or you can go act like a little girl somewhere. I don’t care.”
Xavier balled up his fist and tried to strike Khalil but Khalil blocked his blow, swerving on the highway but he maintained control of his ride.
“Don’t you ever in life raise your hand up at me. I swear, I’ll take your head off if you ever…”
Khalil pushed the pedal to the metal and flew down the highway. He didn’t let up on his speed until he got off the interstate and into the residential area where his apartment was located. He drove up to the apartment, jumped out, and ran around to the door where Xavier was getting out of the car. Before Xavier could fully step out, Khalil jerked him by his jacket and practically pulled him out of the car. He hit him so hard in the chest that it practically knocked the wind out of Xavier.
“You got me messed up. You don’t run jack. You hear me?” he warned Xavier. “I got this. I run this! Now get your li’l punk behind away from me. Get yourself some business and stay out of mine.”
Xavier didn’t say a word. He gathered himself, held his chest, and stumbled off toward his car.
Inside his car, he wiped the tears from his eyes while Khalil got back in his car and sped away. Xavier sat in the car for a few minutes or so until he got himself together. A text drew him out of his feelings.
“Mexican place on Hacks half an hour?”
“Cool,” Xavier texted back.
“See you soon.” Malik texted back.
Xavier cleared his throat, looked around the parking lot area like he was expecting someone to be looking at him, then started his car and drove off. His brother had always played the tough guy, but he’d better be careful because payback could never be good after doing wrong toward someone else. He pulled himself together and headed to meet Malik.
This would be the first time he and Malik met up outside of Holy Rock. The day that he was in the meeting at Holy Rock being appointed as one of the new part-time associate ministers, Malik also took Xavier up on his offer to help with the Youth Department. Since that day, two months prior, Malik had asked him out a few times, but Xavier turned him down every time, until today.
Malik had reached out to him after midweek praise service the other night and asked him again about going out. Trying to make sure he was as discreet as possible around Holy Rock, Xavier told him to text him the next day, which Malik did, and this time Xavier accepted the invitation. It was time that he totally wiped Raymone out of his mind and move on in his life. It wasn’t that Malik had come on to him; but Xavier could read between the lines. Just from the short conversation the two men had and from the flirtatious looks Malik had given him, he knew that Malik was gay the same as him, but was he really attracted to him? He was a fairly good looking man, a few years older than Xavier, dressed nicely, and had a pleasant persona about himself, but Xavier was not physically attracted to him.
They had a half way decent lunch, but the more they talked, the less they talked. Malik was too flamboyant for Xavier’s liking and he looked at every man that walked past them and into the restaurant. He also cussed like a sailor and that was a total turn off for Xavier. Being outside the doors of Holy Rock showed who and what this guy was all about.
Xavier excused himself almost as soon as he finished eating his meal. He had already had an eventful and stressful morning and listening to Malik’s foul mouth and watching his wandering eyes was just not what he had planned.
When Malik asked him about them hooking up again, Xavier politely dismissed him by telling him that he had very little time to engage in a relationship and that his roles at Holy Rock plus his family affairs took up most of his free time.
Malik responded as if he already understood, and he did, that Xavier was turning him down and being polite about it. Malik didn’t care one way or the other because his only mission anyway was to get Xavier between the sheets, if only for one night.
The two of them exchanged casual goodbyes after they finished lunch and agreed that they would continue to work to improve the youth ministry at Holy Rock in every way that they could.
Back at Holy Rock, Xavier went straight to his office. He had nothing to say to his brother. He was still quite upset for the way Khalil had treated him; like he was some nobody off the streets. He sat behind his desk and went over some of the notes and contact information for those who had offered suggestions about how to improve the youth ministry. Quite a number of people had been signing up each Sunday to show their interest in working with the youth and young adults. That was a good thing and Xavier was exceptionally glad about it.
After he made some suggestions and comments, himself, he switched roles and sat in front of his computer to go through the latest financial files that he had the finance secretary send him. While he went through the files with a fine-toothed comb, there was a knock on the door.
“Yes, come in,” he said.
“Brother Xavier,” Leo said as he stuck his head inside the door.
“Oh, hello, Brother Leo. Come in. What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to know if you needed any more volunteers for Wednesday night Youth Jam. I think it’s going to go off with a bang.”
Leo enjoyed working with the youth and also served on the finance committee and several other ministries around Holy Rock. He was one of those members that spoke up and volunteered for just about everything that went on at Holy Rock. His wife, Cynthia, and their little girl who was a little older than Detria Graham’s kid, were faithful members.
Youth Jam was a new youth and young adult program that Xavier was going to start up in the next couple weeks. It was just another form of ministry to attract and retain young people and keep them off the streets, give them a place to have fun, come together, chat it up, play games, watch movies, eat, study the Word and just have good clean fun.
“We can always use help,” Xavier told him, standing up and walking from behind his desk. “You and your wife already do so much around here. I wouldn’t want y’all to get burned out.”
“Cynthia loves this church just as much as I do,” Leo said, walking further into the office as he closed the door behind him.
“I don’t know you or your wife that well on a personal level, Brother Leo, but I see you around here all of the time. You do seem committed to Holy Rock and from what I’ve heard you used to be a deacon under uhhh….my uncle.
“Yes, Stiles and I are like brothers. I got major love for him. Things changed at Holy Rock but it doesn’t change my love for this church.”
“That’s good.”
“So, aren’t you supposed to be leaving for college? I heard you got a full ride to Xavier University.”
“Yeah, I did, but God had other things in mind. I’m needed here.” Xavier turned slightly away from Leo as the tone of his voice lightened.
Leo walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Xavier looked back at Leo.
“Look, man. Don’t give up on your dreams for anybody. If you’re hanging around here because of what happened to your father, then I’m just saying you need to think about what you’re doing long and hard.”
Xavier sat at the edge of his desk. “This is where I’m supposed to be.”
“I hope you’re sure about that,” Leo said. “But hey, it’s your life, your decision. Just know that if you need someone to talk to, someone to listen, then I’m here.” Leo placed his hand close to Xavier’s inner thigh, allowing it to linger momentarily before he lightly squeezed it while he looked him directly in the eyes.
Xavier stood abruptly. “Uhhh, thank you, Brother Leo. I’ll keep that in mind,” he said and walked to his office door and opened it. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to finish up.”
“Sure, God bless you, brother,” Leo replied as he stepped outside of the door and into the hall just as Sista Mavis walked up the hallway.
“Hello, Brother Leo, Brother Xavier,” she said and kept walking without waiting on either of them to respond.
Xavier was beside himself. He felt like he wanted to do something really bad to Leo for assuming that he could touch him inappropriately. Xavier didn’t understand what was up with that. Did he put off some type of vibe that gave men like Leo the impression that he was gay, and even being gay, did he give the impression to others that they could touch him or say cruel and vile things to him or about him?
He didn’t display feminine traits like some gay guys or lesbian girls portrayed. He loved dressing like a man and acting like a man; he just happened to be a man who liked other men. He had wrestled with his sexuality since he was a young teen. He hated that he was like this and he had prayed and asked God to deliver him time and time again. He couldn’t understand why he still had feelings toward men and not women.
He didn’t know if he should confront Brother Leo about what had happened or just leave it alone. I guess, if I was going to do something about it, I would have said something when he did it. Maybe, Khalil is right. I am weak as water. I can’t even defend myself.
He went back into his office and locked the door. He put his hands on his head and wept and prayed to God to forgive him for being the way that he was.