All you need to know is the future is wide open and you are about to create it by what you do.
Pema Chödrön (Buddhist nun, teacher and author)
This we all know: all things are connected like the blood that unites one family. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of earth. Man did not weave the web of life. He is merely a strand on it. Whatever he does to the web he does to himself.
Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Native American tribe
A much quoted piece and easy to see why; it is such a beautiful reminder that our awareness of the interconnectedness of all things opens our hearts and minds to our true potential.
Long before I had ever heard about the Law of Attraction and way before the notion of Cosmic Ordering entered the self-help genre, I was operating with a rather neat philosophy that seemed to work well for me. I think I had a lucky start, with parents who were (and still are) very positive in their outlook; I learned to assume that the best would happen for me, and by and large it has. And now I know how this has come about. Things are not what they seem to be. Nobel Laureate Max Planck discovered that everything in existence vibrates and, at a subatomic level, all matter is energy. Look at your foot, the curtains, the sky through your window, this page, the wall; all these objects look different and separate from each other, but this is just an illusion. In fact the basic building blocks of your foot and curtains and the sky, page and wall (and everything else you can see) are identical. Your body is made of the same substance as your cat, the moon, a butterfly, a gorilla, your lover, a biscuit, your enemy and this book. Take a few moments to reflect on this.
And there is more; this seemingly ‘solid’ world is not at all solid because everything that exists is made entirely of atoms, each of which consists of a tiny nucleus, with a very few tiny particles, called electrons, orbiting around it. Atoms are in fact energy fields having positive, negative and neutral charges and they produce electric and magnetic forces. And so our universe is a huge ocean of vibrating energy which creates all forms of existence. This essential energy is vibrating at different frequencies and hence creates the different forms of matter, from fine to dense.
We are so privileged to be living in such exciting times, with modern physics confirming what ancient spiritual and mystical traditions have always taught: our physical universe is not made of matter but is made of energy. All forms of energy are interrelated and have an effect on each other. I have written more about this subject in my book Just Do It Now, but here we are moving on to consider the implications of these findings on our levels of self-esteem, happiness and success. Because everything is connected it means that the ways we think, feel and act will have a direct influence on others. Of course this also means that we are affected by the thoughts, feelings and behaviour of those around us.
People and events really do walk through the doors of your expectations. I know this sounds a bit far-fetched but let’s go back to the fundamental truth that the universe is pure energy. Arising from this are The Four Creative Principles, see figure 12 (adapted from my book Just Do It Now).
Figure 12: The Four Creative Principles
As atoms are energy fields with positive, negative and neutral charges, they produce electrical and magnetic forces. Electricity attracts, makes you magnetic and draws things to you. The question is, exactly what are you drawing into your life right now? Just as fish swim unconsciously in the water of a tank, so do we swim unconsciously in our universal sea of electromagnetism; every one of our thoughts, feelings and actions registering in this sensitive and delicate ‘sea’ which surrounds us. The laws governing attracting and repelling operate electromagnetically, which means that energy of a certain quality or vibration tends to attract energy of a similar type and vibration. Think about your ‘hunches’ and ‘gut feelings’ that have turned out to be right, and those amazing ‘synchronistic’ moments that have occurred in your life; these are examples of this principle in action.
Psychologist Carl Jung said that, ‘Synchronicity suggests that there is an interconnection or unity of causally unrelated events.’ The more you can recognize and respond to the power of your personal magnetism the more powerful it will become! As soon as you connect with the bigger picture of your life, trusting your insights, your intuition and your emotional responses, you will begin to see the way that things so often just naturally click into place. The more you look for meaning and purpose the more of it you will find.
Those who are waiting for the energy they need to get going will be slow to start, whereas those who know that the energy they need is inside them, will find it easy to get into the creative flow of their lives.
EXERCISE
Sit quietly in a comfortable position and take some deep breaths. Relax your body and your mind. Focus on your intuition.
1 What feelings do you associate with your intuition?
2 Are these feelings welcome or fearful (or anything else)?
3 Think of three times that you have followed your intuition and things turned out well.
4 Write down three things that your intuitive voice has been urging you to do. These might only be small things (send that email, read that book) or they may be about bigger issues (change job, end that relationship).
5 Why have you not acted on the advice of your intuition?
Most of us have not been actively encouraged to follow our instincts; it is more likely that we have been taught to reason things out. But of course we need both qualities if our lives are to be a balanced and harmonious experience. Your intuitive voice comes from a place of inner wisdom and the more you become aware of it and act upon it the more powerful it becomes (you enhance your positively magnetic powers).
Intuition speaks to you through feelings, insights, urges, dreams; it is the ‘knowing’ voice of your spiritual and emotional energy and it will always draw you to experiences and people that will energize you and feed your creativity. What sort of future would you like for yourself? Is there something entirely different that you would love to do? You might have a great desire to alter your life in some way but you keep creating excuses, which stop you putting your plans into action. Maybe you are afraid to follow your intuition because it involves change and a degree of risk-taking. But your self-esteem, happiness and success rely on both your self-awareness and your ability to activate your desires, and so it is vital that you follow through for yourself. Your feelings express your deepest needs and your intuition prompts you to respond to these needs. Ignore your intuition at your peril!
CONFIDENCE TIP
Develop Your Intuitive Powers
Scientific research demonstrates that a gut reaction is a physical as well as an emotional response. There is a large knot of nerve cells in our stomachs that can respond to any emotional condition and affect our unconscious decisions. Later, when these decisions become conscious, we may become aware that this is something we ‘knew’ about all along. As we have seen, the more we practise using our intuitive powers the stronger and more reliable they become.
Try the following:
• Take your intuition seriously. Give it the respect it deserves and make time every day to listen in to your inner voice. Find a quiet spot, relax and let your mind rest. Thoughts will come and go but just keep coming back to following your breathing. In this relaxed state you are more aware of your inner world.
• Bring a situation to mind and ask your intuition for guidance. You might get an immediate response but most likely the answer will come later when you are doing something else. Don’t expect anything, but know that you have expressed a strong intention here and you have sown a seed that will develop and grow.
• Begin to notice your natural instinctive responses in your day-to-day life. For example when you ‘pick up’ on someone’s mood and ‘know’ that this would be a bad time to ask for a favour. Or maybe what you thought of as a ‘coincidence’ begins to take on more meaning and you see a message there. Your inner voice is only really an extension of your everyday awareness, so practise being intuitive.
• When a difficult situation arises and you don’t know what to do, turn inside to check your instinctive response: ask yourself what ‘feels’ right here? If there is no reply then that in itself is a message not to react, and to bide your time.
If you make good friends with your intuition you will have a strong, reliable (inner) partner for life.
Thoughts are creatively energetic. If we continually focus on something we begin to draw the energy out from our inner world of thoughts and senses to create something in the outer world of reality. Everything starts with a thought: your lunch, the chair you are sitting in, the house you live in, your conception, the internet, your mobile phone, the Sunday papers … Everything is energy and this energy manifests in different forms to create everything within the universe.
Mind energy (thought) is changeable, quick and has a high vibration (happens instantaneously) – we can experience 50,000 thoughts a day, which just shows how quickly they come and go. Matter is denser energy, more compact and slower to move and change. So you can have the thought I want a fabulous pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, but you can’t manifest them as quickly as you can think about them (shame!). You can’t stand in front of the previously mentioned footwear, stir up your electromagnetic powers and draw them into your life and on to your feet; the process takes a bit longer. Consider the following options:
1 I keep wishing for a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes.
2 I am constantly thinking about what it would be like to wear a pair of his shoes.
3 Each time I look at my shoe rack I see a fabulous pair of red shoes and I am beginning to feel that they are already mine.
4 I visit the Jimmy Choo shop in Knightsbridge and fall in love with a pair of red peep-toe slingbacks. I try them on and walk around the shop in them; they are gorgeous.
5 I take a realistic look at my finances and work out that I can buy them in two months. They can be mine in two months.
If I just stick with wishing for these shoes they will remain a fantasy. But constantly thinking about them focuses my thoughts in their direction and then the strong idea creates a picture; I start to actively visualize them. By now my commitment has definitely intensified and I am off to the shop; I come away knowing they will be mine. I want them so much that I manage my finances so that I can afford them in two months – result unquestionable! My idea is a blueprint that creates an image. The image then magnetizes and directs the physical energy so that it flows into its form and eventually materializes in physical reality.
We know that it is fairly easy to imagine creating simple things: make marmite on toast, drive to the shops, meet up with a friend, buy a birthday present for someone, cycle to work … These are all creative acts; you have been automatically manifesting things all your life using this simple magnetizing process. Start to become aware of the creative process:
Step 1 You want something.
Step 2 You intend to have it.
Step 3 You are motivated to do what it takes to get it.
You use exactly the same process when you want to make anything happen. Your idea to have something sets up the model of what you will be creating. And then, the strength of your emotions (intention, desire, and motivation) energizes your thoughts and projects them from your inner world into your outer world.
THOUGHT |
X |
EMOTIONAL |
→ |
MATERIAL |
QUICK QUIZ
| Yes | No | |
| I feel like smiling | | |
| I am worrying about the future | | |
| I like myself | | |
| I have some regrets and can’t let go of them | | |
| I would like to feel more relaxed | | |
| I am comparing myself with someone else | | |
| I wonder if I will ever be happy | | |
| I know how to increase my positive status | | |
| I am feeling self-critical | | |
| I am high in ‘can do’ energy | | |
Notice how the nature of your self-expression has an immediate effect on raising or lowering your energy. Turn the energy-depleting activities around; just stop doing them. Turn up the positive dial immediately and see how this affects you. You take yourself wherever you go and this means all of you: your thoughts, emotions, expectations, insights, hang-ups … etc. At some level, others pick up and respond to the totality of your energetic expression, so embrace and express your magnificent self and wait for the reaction.
Think of your magnetic field as an expression of your aliveness, enthusiasm and energy levels. How buzzing are you right now? If you are feeling less than your best, you can consciously raise your spirits by involving yourself in more energy-enhancing activities and by dropping any energy-depleting habits. Check out your radiating status at this very moment. (See Quick Quiz on page 184,)
10 Ways to upgrade your vibrations immediately
1 Turn up the music and DANCE!
2 Smile (fake it until you can make it).
3 Contact a positive friend.
4 Go for a walk.
5 Feel glad to be alive (after all, it is pretty amazing).
6 Give something to someone.
7 Go outside and take some deep breaths.
8 Imagine turning up your positive energy dial to the max.
9 Connect with a stranger.
10 Perform an anonymous act of kindness.
Novelist Paulo Coelho is an illuminating writer who can open our eyes with his wonderful words. He says: ‘You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.’ And so our level of awareness depends upon our level of attention.
Imagine this: You drive to town and as you get to the multi-storey car park you suddenly ‘come to’ and realize that you have driven all this way on autopilot; you can’t remember anything about the journey but here you are. You get out of the car to buy a ticket and feel alienated by your concrete surroundings, you don’t like it in here and you feel your energy dropping. When you leave the car park you enter a busy shopping mall; everyone is rushing around and it all feels too frenetic so you make for the coffee shop. The woman behind the counter greets you with a big smile and up goes your energy; ah yes, you are feeling much better now. And then a friend calls your mobile and you catch up with your news. Feeling even better you go out and face the mall and now find that you are in the mood to shop.
Observe the thread of awareness running through your experience. On the drive you were totally disengaged, and then gradually became aware as your mood dipped and then rose again. Start to tune into these daily troughs and peaks, in a non-judgemental way, just be interested in how you respond. By bringing increased awareness to your ‘low’ energy you will notice that your experience will change without you having to do much more. And as you become more aware of your ‘uplifted’ energy you will recognize that this energy has a certain emotional tone (a high vibration) that you can start to ‘tap into’ at will. Everything and everybody is connected and we know that this one world has two aspects: the visible and the invisible. This means that by appreciating and understanding the subtle and ‘invisible’ levels of energy we can change the reality that we can see.
Consider this: You might not be reaching your goals because you actually fear success.
Rose, 50, is a librarian and I met her at a workshop I was running called ‘Attracting Success’. I love the amazing energy that a group can develop, and the way that participants get so much from listening to other people; we all share the trials and tribulations of life, and remembering this can be very healing.
EXERCISE
Although I have talked about appreciation before, we are now going to dig even deeper to find its true value for us.
When we can feel admiration, gratitude, enjoyment and a sense of wonder, then we are really experiencing the power of appreciation. True appreciation demands that we look, and then look again with the eyes of our senses. Try practising this today. There are many levels of appreciation, going from the most superficial to an in-depth connection; be aware of the ways that you appreciate today. Try:
• being more appreciative by looking for things, people and events to admire and enjoy
• noticing how superficial appreciation feels
• going deeper and look again with the eyes of your senses
There is no right way to do this; see it as an experimental approach to opening your heart to ever deepening levels of appreciation and wonder. Appreciation is a key to increased awareness and we know how awareness can change our inner energy and hence our outer reality – worth a try then!
Someone in the group began to talk about what he saw as the ‘pressure of success’, which he explained as his anxiety around the thought that once he had achieved a goal he would then be expected to keep up that level of attainment. Others discussed the idea that high self-expectations can lead to disappointment and despair rather than to achievement and success. This naturally led into a discussion about such things as: being good enough, perfectionism and the potential punishing behaviour of our inner critic. The workshop then moved into a stage where participants considered their own glass ceilings (self-imposed limits) and looked for patterns of belief that might be inhibiting them.
After this workshop, Rose had some coaching sessions with me and we talked about some of the things that had come up for her in the group work. She said: ‘All the talk of “goal-getting” and “reaching for your dreams” has always had a negative effect on me, making me feel hopeless and low when I know that we need to expect the best in order for it to happen. So I get in a terrible muddle with all this. In a small group at the workshop I realized how hard I am on myself and I also noticed that I am very judgemental of others when they make a mistake.’
INSIGHT
Eliminate All Energy-Draining Activities
Because our energy field is magnetic, it is important to be vigilant about any potential energy-draining habits. It is only too easy to find ourselves immersed in negativity and not know how we even got there. Check out the following list to find out exactly what might be depleting your own personal magnetic field.
Are you:
Blaming others – This is an early warning sign of approaching self-pity. As soon as you find yourself scanning the horizon for something or someone to blame, just stop there and notice what you are doing. We all indulge ourselves in the ‘blame game’ at times so don’t criticize yourself for this, just notice it and remember that every time you do this you are giving your own creative power away to your ‘victimizer’. Blaming energy is unattractive and always leads to all-lose scenarios.
Two weeks later Rose said that she had had a dream where her father was a small boy and she (as an adult) was hitting him with a stick so that he wept for her to stop. Her father had been dead for over 20 years and she said that she had ‘locked him away in her mind’ until now. Over the next few weeks Rose unlocked a lot of anger and frustration over her relationship with her father. He had been a military man and ran his house in the same fashion. Rose said that she spent her whole childhood trying to please him (an impossible task) and that she couldn’t remember one single time when he had praised her.
Feeling regretful – If you made a mistake then all you can do now is to learn from it and move on. Make amends if you can (now) and if you can’t, just go swiftly to the present moment, which is where your powerful energy lies.
Wishing you were like someone else – Each time you do this you deny your own unique place in the world. Next time you find yourself making unfavourable comparisons with others become aware of it and make this affirmation: I am OK just the way I am. Keep practising and you will break this harmful habit.
Being judgemental – Another early sign of trouble for your confident self! Whoever you are judging, whether it is self or others, this is bad news because it will always diminish you. You will never be at your best if you are looking for the worst in yourself or others.
Stop all energy-drainers and feel your electromagnetic field lighten, brighten and shine. Tune into your personal energy field and sense the positively buzzing vibrations. You take your vibrations wherever you go, so let them be good.
After a number of sessions Rose began to be able to ‘let go’ of some of her anger and she saw that her own inner critic had completely taken over from where her father had left off. There is more inner work for her to do, but, as she says, her feelings are now ‘out in the open’ and she is confident that with continued self-awareness and kindness to herself and to others she can heal her own wounds and open up to some happiness and success in her life.
Don’t let your inner critic destroy your confidence. Recognize that constant self-criticism will undermine your self-belief.
• Our physical universe is not made of matter but is made of energy. All forms of energy are interrelated and have an effect on each other.
• People and events walk through the doors of our expectations.
• The more you can recognize and respond to the power of your personal magnetism the more powerful it will become.
• Your feelings express your deepest needs and your intuition prompts you to respond to these needs.
• The more you practise using your intuitive power, the stronger and more reliable it becomes.
• Thoughts are creatively energetic.
• If you are feeling less than your best, you can consciously raise your spirits by involving yourself in more energy-enhancing activities and by dropping any energy-depleting habits.
• Others pick up and respond to the totality of your energetic expression, so embrace and express your magnificent self and just watch the reaction.
• By appreciating and understanding the subtle and ‘invisible’ levels of energy you can change the reality you see.
• You might not be reaching your goals because you actually fear success.
• Tune into your personal energy field and sense the positively buzzing vibrations: you take your vibrations wherever you go so let them be good.
1 Take any insight that you have made today:
Example: When I think about how we are all energetically connected I wonder why I surround myself with people who are quite negative.
2 Consider the patterns (thought/emotional/behavioural) that might lie behind this:
Example: I am very sensitive to other people’s energy and often they tell me their problems; I feel I have to listen to them, even if I don’t want to.
3 Create an action point around a possible change of response:
Example: I think I need to protect myself from the negative vibrations of other people. I am going to stop being so available to listen to the moans and complaints of others, and even walk away if necessary.
Try this 3-point action plan for yourself.
My personal insights:
The patterns that might lie behind this:
My action points: