CHAPTER TEN

 

"What?" Kelsey's voice caught in her throat. Had he actually proposed to her?

"I said, I think we should get married. You know, do it right. Let's face it Kelsey, you need me, the baby needs me. We haven't made much progress this way. And I'm afraid you are going to be a nervous wreck by the time the baby gets here."

"No, it won't work, Nick. You don't marry someone just because they can't diaper a baby—"

"That too, yes. But I've given this a lot of thought, Kel. You'd love the baby I'm sure of that, you'd care for it to the best of your ability. But I'm not sure you'll be ready in time. And I certainly don't want to have to hire a nanny." He scolded. "No, you need help. And this isn't something you are going to learn in a day or two. Besides, I'd kinda like to give the baby my name. I know how stuck on O'Sullivan you were, but it has your blood, and that's the important thing. And if we got married we could explain the circumstances a lot easier. We could say we just didn't get along, and had to divorce, or something. If it comes to that."

If it comes to that? Of course it would come to that; Nick was in love with the baby. In love with being a family, but he didn't love her.

"Now look, Nick," Kelsey's face turned red, her temper festering. How had this caring man, suddenly turned into some nut with a marriage license. "I've been pretty nice about this, so far, but I think this has gone on long enough. Just because I can't put a diaper on straight doesn't mean—"

"No, it doesn't mean you'll be a bad mother. I agree. But it does mean you're going to need help. Let's face it, Kel; you've done nothing to lighten the work load at the office since I've been coming over. You haven't got the hang of diapering or burping and you are a nervous wreck around the doll. What would you be like around our baby? Face it Kel, the baby needs both of us. I've already taken the liberty of speaking with your parents, by phone, and they are in complete agreement with me, about this. Your father especially. Your mother wants a beautiful Catholic wedding. Naturally, because you've been married, we'll have to speak to the priest about it. I doubt we'll have any trouble; you and Ralph weren't married in the church. But, I agreed to that, you are the bride. We'll be married in two weeks."

Then he started to leave. Without another word, as though the entire conversation was closed. But she knew what he was doing.

"Now wait just a minute," Kelsey began, and then stopped as though someone had hit her in the stomach. Her face paled a little, and then she smiled slowly.

It was almost as if the child was having her say too.

"What's wrong, the baby?" He surmised quickly as he turned to see her face. Instantly his face mirrored his concern.

"I-I think it just kicked me. I can't be sure, but I think it did. You know the first kick is like butterfly wings stirring in your stomach. I remember that much."

"Oh God, let me feel," Nick came closer, put his hand on her jumper, and waited. His eyes were full of delight at the prospect of actually feeling his child growing inside her, and for a moment, Kelsey forgot her anger and enjoyed the feel of his hand on her tummy. It was one of their first shared moments as parents, and nothing could replace its magic. Not even the fact that he wouldn't be able to feel the gentle kicking yet.

Still, she couldn't let sentiment rule the moment. He wanted her to agree to a marriage, but what kind of marriage would they have? And how could she contemplate marrying anyone under these circumstances? She'd faced a loveless marriage before. She couldn't endure another one, especially with Nick, the man she loved.

She was about to explode at him when another butterfly feeling zapped across her tummy and he nodded, "I felt it Kel, I felt it. Not much, but like a little electrical buzz. She's healthy, I'd bet on that. She's kicking early. You're barely four months. That's a good sign she's healthy. She'll probably pack a punch. What a miracle we've created, Kel."

His finger dotted her nose, his eyes sparkled into hers, and they both seized the moment. Their lips met in a passionate storm. Exquisite pleasure melted all of Kelsey's better judgment. She made a little guttural sound in her throat as she opened her mouth to his. Nick's kisses felt as though he'd saved them for an eternity, just for her.

"Ah Kel," he groaned as he lifted her loose blouse and his hands searched for the round fullness of her breast. Kelsey squirmed and moaned all at once, not expecting this, but loving it just the same.

"Don't leave me like this, Nick," Kelsey panted as she barely pulled away from him enough to speak. Could he possibly know what those precious hands of his were doing to her? Did he know she was like a walking time bomb, waiting for his touches?

"You've caught me in a weak moment, I can't. But the baby—I mean, will it be okay? I don't want to hurt you Kel. I don't ever want to hurt you."

"I'm not far enough along to worry," she gasped as her own hands pulled at his shirt eagerly. He stopped, and clasped her hands in his, kissing them slowly then sending her a burning smile, he lifted her to carry her to her bedroom.

As he kicked the door open and closed behind them he laid her upon her bed and smiled down into her love kissed face, "I never knew pregnant women could be so adorably sexy."

"You're too far away," she purred, and pulled him down against her.

In a hot frenzy they disposed of the clothes between them as he continued his love-chants against her warm moist body.

Nick was the best lover she'd ever had and even though she knew it would never work between them, she was helpless in his arms.

She'd never been on fire for a man in her life, but Nick seemed to know all the right buttons to push. Lovemaking had never been this sweet, this fulfilling. She melted into Nick as he came down beside her on the bed.

Her lips sought his, her body fitted against him like a light bulb finding a socket. She wanted and needed to love this man without regard for consequence. Just once she would love for the sheer joy of it, she vowed silently.

His hands were incredibly gentle as they wove a spell over her body, making her respond to his every whim. His eyes roved over her in the silent of the night, stealing her heart and soul and he buried himself into her once more and they became one. The incredible joy Kelsey felt surrounded her and Nick continued long afterwards massaging her, and kissing her.

"Oh Nick," she gasp, and her hands clamped about him with a heated calm. Words of love throttled through her body and mind as he took her to the heaven only he could build for her. Her tongue ached to cry them aloud.

He looked down at her and her small high breast puckered. He groaned and bent to cover them each with long languid strokes of his tongue. Her body stretched lazily at first against him, and then thrust to meet him, as he entered her over and over again. She felt she was falling into a mindless void where happiness dwelled continuously.

"Oh Kel, I can't wait any longer, babe. I've got to take you. You're so beautiful, so much woman."

"Yes, now," she pleaded and met him at the peak. Like a miracle of beautiful colored showers, the reaching the top was so stirring she could do nothing but moan her own pleasure and grip him so he could never go away.

Collapsing in unison moments later, they both laughed breathlessly, and kissed each other joyously.

Kelsey smiled as he cradled her against him, his hand resting gently about her ribs. Sighing contentedly she relaxed. Unlike the negative feelings Ralph had always inspired with his one sided love affair, Kelsey saw for the first time what being loved meant. And the satisfied smile on Nick's lips left her in no doubt that she had put it there.

Minutes later, they fell asleep, curled into each other's arms. Sometime in the night she reached for him, but he was gone.

Gone! He had left her after such an incredible night? How could he? How could he walk away from all she offered him without a word? He wanted to marry her and still hadn't said a word about loving her.

Her confidence lagged.

Still the euphoria surrounded her and reminded her that they did have something special between them.

The next day Kelsey was excited, elated, and downhearted all at the same time. How could she possibly marry Nick? Yes, his lovemaking was everything she'd ever hoped for, but he didn't love her, if he did he would have surely said something last night. He didn't. She knew from her first marriage that love was the most important ingredient in a relationship. And the lack of it would crush a marriage. She couldn't condemn herself to the same loneliness again. Even with a baby.

Still, when her mother called that evening, she found herself caught up in the talk about a wedding dress, and flowers and bridesmaids. Just the prospect of getting married seemed like a fantasy every woman dreamed of. When she and Ralph were married at the courthouse, it broke her mother's heart, but he wasn't Catholic.

She'd have a talk with Nick on Saturday, she promised herself as she continued to let her mother go on and on about arrangements. She'd never heard such excitement in her mother's voice before, and their relationship had improved with Nick's help.

Things looked different the next day at the office when she told Jackson. She had time to sleep on it, and realize her foolishness.

"Naturally, it'll never work. I can't marry him, Jackson."

"You don't love him?" Jackson eyed her closely.

"Of course I love him. Who doesn't? I mean—oh, Jackson, I don't know what I mean, or feel these days. Everything is in such a state of confusion. Nick has practically taken over the chore of thinking for me. I've never been so dependent in my life, and I don't like the feeling. And yet he's done more for my confidence than I could imagine. He's restored my faith in myself. But, I'm scared."

"I've never heard you sound so despondent. What are you afraid of? You have the baby you always wanted, and a man to go with it. A good man I might add."

"All women fantasize about weddings, Jackson. It's romantic. But, Nick doesn't love me, that's why it won't work. Nick's in love with the prospect of being a father. Right now, he's living in some kind of dream world, but believe me; he's going to snap out of it. And then it will be just like Ralph."

"How do you know? Nick isn't Ralph. He's ten times the man Ralph was. He'd never let you hurt or see you lonely."

"No, he's too much of a gentleman. He'd try, but I won't do that to him, or myself. He simply thinks I can't handle being a mother, alone. I think Nick is suffering from a bad case of too much responsibility."

"He's certainly had his share. But, when he talks about you, his eyes light up, and the way he looks at you. Are you sure how he feels?"

Kelsey sighed, "He loves the thought of having a baby. He's an incurable romantic. Yet, he hasn't said one word about love. What should I do Jackson? I don't want to hurt him. But I've got to get him to listen to reason. Oh Jackson, what am I going to do?"

"You've got the contract, it'll hold up in court, if that's necessary. But Kelsey, maybe you should marry him."

"Jackson! How can you say that?"

"Because he's good for you. He brings out the best in you. I like him. And so does your mother. And look at yourself. You aren't the same insecure little girl you were when you were married to Ralph. Besides, he and your mother have started all the plans. I spoke with her on the phone before you arrived. She has everything arranged. I've never heard her talk like that before. She's doing this up big. Probably because it's the first time she's had the chance to. But for some reason, I think she likes Nick. We all like him. Which is something I hadn't expected? You know me Kelsey; I'm not an easy sell. But I have to admit that night we all shared a pizza in your apartment, watching that game show and just being ourselves. That's really living, Kelsey. That's what life is all about. And your mother…well….she's acting like a—"

"Like a what?"

"Like a grandmother, like a proud mother."

How many times had she wished for her mother to act that way? And she had Nick to thank for it.

"I've got to stop this. He's coming over this Saturday; I'll talk with him then."

"Are you sure you want to?" Jackson's brow shot up. "I hate to keep harping on it, but I think you should give this a long hard look before you stop anything. It could work out, if you work on it."

"That's the same thing I thought about Ralph. Work on it." She hung her head.

"Nick isn't Ralph. How can you begin to compare the two of them? Even I can see the difference. Ralph was a cold, unfeeling fish, and a weasel. The fact that he once hit you for making a mistake at a dinner party is enough for me to say that. Don't compare them Kelsey, it's not the same. Is it the money differences?"

Kelsey stared at Jackson for a moment,then shook her head, "Strangely, no. Money seems to be the least of our worries. I'm afraid to trust my feelings. I don't want another mistake. And I'd be involving another life in this one—the baby."

"My loyalty remains with you, you know that. However, I must tell you, Kelsey, I think not marrying Nick would be the mistake. Does he know you love him?"

Kelsey sat down quietly in her big leather chair, glanced up at Jackson and sighed, "No. I'm afraid to say anything like that to him."

"It may be all he's waiting to hear."

Kelsey's shoulders slumped, one tear escaped. "Isn't the man supposed to say it, first?"

"There are no hard and fast rules. Most of the time yes. There are no set rules on the subject though. But you are a rich woman, have you considered that aspect? I mean perhaps Nick feels as though he has nothing to offer you."

"Oh but that's not true. He has everything to offer. He's honest, kind, hard working. And he's a happy man, at least until I came along. I've never considered him anything but an equal."

"And I agree. He's the kind of man that finds a way to do things and get things done. He'd be an asset to this company, actually. But look at it from his point of view. You are a woman of power. Nick is an ordinary construction worker. What can he offer you but his love?"

"That would be enough, if he offered it."

"Perhaps he needs to know that."

"I can't see Nick letting social position stand in the way. He doesn't think in terms of social positions, he thinks in terms of people. And honestly, I believe Nick Leonetti is one of the richest men alive. And if you're right. If the time ever comes, I'll tell him. If it doesn't, I'll live with it."

Jackson frowned, took up the papers from her desk and walked towards the door. Adjusting the lapel of his jacket, he shook his head emphatically and added, "You're thinking of yourself, Kelsey. Not what's best for the baby? That man knows how to be a family."

Was he right? Was she giving in to her own selfish pride by wanting an admission of love from Nick? She had never realized when she fell in love with him, what it might entail. It just happened.

Yet two weeks passed in a haze and Kelsey still hadn't said anything to Nick. Kelsey tried working up the courage but she couldn't go through with it. He seemed to change the subject when she broached it.

Nick and her mother didn't have ears anymore. They went around agreeing or disagreeing and doing whatever they pleased. They weren't listening to her. They were too busy making plans. Her father was completely unavailable to talk to. It seemed as though the whole world was ignoring her lately.

The priest came to visit. She was informed she had to take several classes in the church, and Nick had to attend.

Reluctantly, she had accompanied her mother to the bridal shops. She had tried on dress after dress until she found one that she fell in love with. The dress was layered in pearls and lace, with big puffy sleeves at the shoulders, and a full skirt with a long train, it was beautiful, and Kelsey fell in love with it. Four and a half months pregnant and she was barely showing, thank God.

She still waited to tell Nick.

The night before the wedding Nick came over with his mother. Kelsey was sure he merely wanted to reassure himself she would be at the church. But Nick kept quiet most of the evening.

Tina had given Kelsey a blue garter. When they were alone for a moment, she explained she had bought it on a whim, and was secretly dreaming of the day she could wear one. "But you needed something blue," she explained hugging her to her.

They laughed together, even though Kelsey didn't feel like laughing. How could she, she was about to break Nick's heart.

Mama Rosa insisted Kelsey wear her antique pearl necklace, handed down through the Leonetti family. It was perhaps the most precious piece of jewelry the woman owned and she was letting Kelsey borrow it. Kelsey felt hot tears sting her eyes. Such a warm gesture endeared his mother in her heart. Something borrowed something blue. Mama Rosa cried openly, and then laughed when she put it around her neck, and told her how glad she was to have another daughter. How could she tell this beautiful woman she couldn't marry her son?

The rehearsal had gone smoothly, Kelsey barely remembered saying "I do." It was just a dry run, she told herself.

They had spoken with the priest several times, and each time Kelsey tried to get a word in edgewise, Nick interrupted. They had taken the lessons together. Nick seemed happy to go to any length. They were prepared, the priest said happily.

The caterers finally got everything straight for the huge reception, planned at a local hotel. As big as the wedding was turning out to be, things were beginning to fall into place. The flowers arrived on time. Not one thing to delay the inevitable.

But later that same evening Kelsey held the phone to her ear and spoke to Nick very quietly from her apartment. "I'm sorry Nick. Sorry I let this go so far. I can't go through with the wedding. I just can't. And I must hold you to the contract Nick, I'm sorry."

"Kelsey, don't do this," Nick shouted into the phone.

"I should have stopped it sooner. But, it's got to stop. I can't go through with this—this farce. I won't live like that again!"

"But Kel—."

The phone went dead.

She hung up, as the tears began to fall, she couldn't wait for a reply, it was too painful.

Her mother, who was standing by the closet, putting the protective plastic over the wedding dress turned to her, her face mirroring concern.

"Kelsey, what have you done?" She asked in a breathless murmur.

"I've stopped the wedding Mother. I had to. Nick's not in love with me. He's in love with being a father. He's a wonderful man, and I had to do it for his sake as much as mine."

Mrs. O'Sullivan came to sit on the edge of the bed as Kelsey put the phone down. Slowly she wrapped an arm around her. "Are you so sure of that?"

"Yes, I am."

"I see." She was saying in that detached voice she used so often with Kelsey, but almost as soon as she said it, she shook her head, "I had such hopes for the two of you."

"Hopes? For me and Nick? I don't understand you, Mother. I really don't. I thought I knew you all these years. You are like a stranger, these past few weeks. Have I misjudged you somewhere along the line?" She got off the bed and looked down into her mother's somber face. "You've always wanted me to marry money, you and daddy made no secret of it. Nick has none. He's not into concrete. You are bound to realize. He's a construction worker. He's from a poor family; surely you've known that all along. Why are you so infatuated with him?"

Mrs. O'Sullivan smiled sadly. "It's true, at least it was. I wanted you to marry money because I thought at one time that would make you happy. I mean your ambition seemed to drive you to be rich, and successful, I knew nothing less would satisfy you. Perhaps Ralph wasn't right for you darling, but he did teach you how to feel, how to hurt. And I think you've finally learned how to love a man, because you learned how to hurt first. You are so like your father, so busy, always working. And yet, the two of you are the loneliness people in the world. When Nick came into your life you seemed to come to life again. Like you were before Ralph. You've changed Kelsey right in front of me, and for the better."

"The two of us—. Mother! What are you talking about, father lonely?"

"Of course he is. And has been for years. Only he doesn't know it." When she saw the confused look on Kelsey's face she smiled again patiently. "We've never talked much before, Kelsey. Nick has helped us in that regard, too. Oh, what a breath of fresh air he is. Like your father was to me."

Kelsey looked stunned at her mother.

"It's time; we need to talk like a real mother and daughter. It's time someone in this family opened up." Her mother took her hand. "Never be afraid to love unconditionally, Kelsey. Never be afraid to open your heart. When your father and I first met, I was from a very rich and old southern family. I'm sure you already know this. You're grandparents never made secret of it. I've never told you—but your father, however, was not a rich man. At least not then."

Kelsey interrupted. "He wasn't? I don't understand. I always thought—."

"That's my fault. You assumed we were both rich. We've never discussed it. You so admired your father—and so you should. Let me tell you what a really fine man he is. You barely knew your father's folks; they died so early in your life. He was from such a warm and loving family, like Nick." She squeezed Kelsey's hand. "But, he was just graduating from College when we decided we were in love, and had this dream of an empire he wanted to build."

Mrs. O'Sullivan's eyes glazed over in fond remembrance. "I took one look at those dreamy blue eyes of your father's and his dream became mine. I was head over heels in love with him. But my father harshly disapproved of our getting married. He said we'd live in squalor."

Kelsey's eyes widened. "How cruel. Poor father."

"Yes, poor father. Your father was a very proud man. Perhaps too proud. From that day on he was determined to prove my father wrong. Our love sort of took a backseat to that proof. Oh, he didn't mean it to, of course. He worked hard, very hard. And he made something of himself. But somewhere along the way, he forgot how to just live."

Kelsey embraced her mother, "Oh mother, how lonely for you. Why in all this time haven't you said something?"

"Lonely, yes, to some degree it was. I loved him so; all I ever really wanted was his love. But I never competed with another woman, only his work. Not many women can say that. I could live with that. And it was all for me, Kelsey, I knew that. And it meant so much for him to make good on his own. So, when he lost himself in his work, I decided to lose myself in my interests."

Kelsey nodded her understanding.

"So I devoted myself to charity work. I suppose somewhere down the line, I kind of threw myself into that, instead of making a proper home for my daughter and husband."

She glanced at Kelsey and squeezed her hand. "But it hurt so, for him to see me, and yet not see me at all. And then you and I drifted apart. Mainly because neither of us could talk to the other. I'll never understand why, Nick makes it look so easy. I was so afraid of losing the two of you I couldn't just talk to you. So we sort of became a bunch of dislocated people, your father, me, and you. But I've never really regretted it, because your father is the only man I've ever really loved, and you were our only child."

Kelsey hugged her mother to her, and cried aloud. "Oh Mother, I wish you had come to me sooner."

"So do I child. I suppose pride kept me at bay. I wronged you most of all dear. But if you'll give me a chance I'd like to make up for that," she said smiling into Kelsey's eyes. "But when I met your Nick, it was like seeing your father all over again. It brought everything back. I knew you loved him; you glow every time you are around him. And he loves you, I feel it."

"Oh mother, I wish you were right, but Nick is such a wonderfully responsible person. This whole thing started out wrong. And it's my fault."

"Can you be so sure about his feelings? Does a man have to speak the words, when actions say more?"

"Jackson said the same thing. But he's never once said he loved me, even when we . . . ." Kelsey cried.

"Is that all that's holding you back? A few little words."

"I can't live a life like I did with Ralph. I was so lonely, so alone. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't love you."

~~~

Meanwhile in Queens, Nick put the phone down slowly, his hand numb, his mouth quivering with words unsaid. Tony stumbled into his room, "Anything wrong?"

"No Tony, go back to bed. Everything is fine."

"You don't look so fine." Tony grumbled.

"A groom never looks fine, especially a day before the wedding." Nick mumbled.

When Tony went back to bed, Nick lit a cigarette. He leaned back against the wall, and listened at the quiet of the neighborhood, a good neighborhood. All thanks to one little lady. But the cigarette did no good and he stashed it.

How could she do this? Had he been too distant? Had he been so concerned about controlling things that he'd lost Kelsey, somehow? Maybe he should have stayed the night with her, when they made love. But for God's sake, her mother was in the house, how could he compromise her?

How could she desert him like this? Just like his father. Just walked out on him. Desertion! The one thing he never could get over. Loving someone that walks out on you is intolerable. Nick admitted it to himself for the first time, slamming a fist onto the table and watching the salt and pepper shaker bounce and fall to the floor. Damn!

"Dammit Kelsey, don't do this to me! To us!" He shouted aloud as a tear slipped silently down his cheek. A silent tear he refused to acknowledge. "Don't desert me."

He grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels from the top of the kitchen cabinet and set it on the center of the kitchen table. He took a glass from the cupboard, then slouched down in a chair at the table and glared at the bottle. He hadn't cried since he stole the toothbrush, but suddenly the tears seemed harder to ignore. His finger rubbed absently at the bottle.

He wasn't weak like his father; he didn't need a bottle to help him through the rough spots. He licked his dry lips and suddenly big round tears came down like a raging storm, unabashed. Tears he had held back for years, for his father, for Kelsey. His body shook with the force of trying to keep them back. But this time he lost the battle. And the more he cried, the madder he got. He'd always heard Italians were too emotional, now he believed it. He hated men who cried.

He glanced about to see if he disturbed anyone. Nothing in the house seemed to stir. He swiped at his eyes with the back of his shirt sleeve.

His life was nothing without Kelsey, as empty as when his father had left him. Yes, he had missed his father, and he could finally admit it to himself. He had worshipped the man, a man that came home drunk too many times, a man that lost his job too many times. Still he was a man who loved his children, and kept the family together through thick and thin for years, a man who taught his son the values of life, honesty, integrity, and loyalty. And shattered every one of them in his leaving. Had the burden of his own weaknesses been too much for him?

How could a woman make you fall in love with her, and then walk out on you? She got exactly what she wanted—his baby. Dear God, he'd almost forgotten about the baby. But it wasn't the baby that made him ache as though someone had cut off a limb from his body. It wasn't the baby that made him need to cry, to rid himself of the loneliness within him. It was Kelsey. Loneliness swept through him, the same kind of loneliness that Kelsey had faced so often in her life. Whoever this Ralph character was, he must have been the biggest kind of fool to let a woman like Kelsey slip through his fingers. He had felt Kelsey's loneliness, grieved for her. Damn, he wanted her, needed her, and she didn't know it.

Then it hit him, like a huge wall caving in on him, had his father needed someone to reach out to? Had he ever told his father how he felt? He hadn't told Kelsey either.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Now his baby would grow up without him.

Then the boys from the garage came to mind. How many of them had grown up without a father, a family to call their own. Too many. He'd seen the hurt in their eyes, the shame, and the emptiness. He'd felt their sorrows, suffered with them. How many of them might have gone astray had they not gained respect for their selves. A future, that's what kids needed. All kids, his kid.

Suddenly Mama Rosa appeared in the doorway, in her robe and big fuzzy house slippers. Nick didn't look at her, just the slippers. "She called the wedding off, didn't she?"

"How'd you know?" Nick asked not bothering to look at her.

"I had a feeling. She looked too sad tonight. You gonna let her get away with it?"

"Get away with it? She called it off, Mama. What am I supposed to do?" He smiled sadly at her and her fuzzy slippers, "You know I always liked those shoes."

"You're so much like your father," his mother chuckled, and shook her head, recapping the bottle that he steadfastly refused to touch. "Nicky, you must go and tell her how you feel. Tell her you love her. A woman needs to hear the words, especially before she marries. Marry her Nicky." Mama said banging her fist on the kitchen table dramatically.

"You're right. I won't let her get away with this. She's my woman, and before tomorrow night, she's going to know it."

"Good, now go to bed Nicky, get some sleep."

And like the good son that he was, he kissed his Mama and went straight to bed.

Mama Rosa shook her head, and put the bottle of whiskey away. "My poor Nicky."

Finally she picked up the phone.

"Mrs. O'Sullivan?" She said into the phone seconds later. "Don't call off the wedding just yet. I have a feeling that something is going to work out."

The next day, the day of the wedding, Nick dressed in his black tux, feeling rested and more confident than ever, as though nothing had gone astray. He told his mother to be at Sacred Heart by eleven, and make sure Tina and Tony were there.

Halfway across town, Kelsey slept late; she had cried herself to sleep. She wanted to wipe this day off the calendar. This would have been her wedding day. She might not even get up, today, she decided as she heard a ruckus in the other room.

"That's right, Mrs. O'Sullivan, take that dress to the church, we've got to hurry or we'll be late. Father Nelan is beside himself. Dorothy, why aren't you dressed. What am I doing? Why, I'm kidnapping my bride." Nick said with a little chuckle.

Kelsey barely had time to scramble out of bed when Nick entered her bedroom, scooped her into his arms, kissed her quite thoroughly on the lips and carried her out the door.

Kelsey began to throw a fit, once she had recovered from his kiss. Nick ignored her.

"What do you think you are doing?" Kelsey demanded pounding his back and kicking her feet and legs.

"Taking you to the church."

"You can't do this Nick. You can't make me marry you," she began, but Nick turned the radio on, and glanced in his rearview mirror. Her parents were following behind, barely managing to pack the proper clothes in the car.

Nick didn't say another word, too busy dodging traffic. She arrived at the church just in time to hear the priest mumbling something about making up their minds. Nick hustled her into the dressing room where a couple of bridesmaids stood waiting. He set Kelsey down and looked deep into her eyes. "Trust me, Kelsey. For once in your practical life, trust," Nick said and left her standing agape.

Trust? Could this be about trust?

Nothing prepared Kelsey for such a jumbled up mess. Half the bridesmaids had been called about the cancellation. Her mother ran about in a tizzy, checking on one thing or another.

Kelsey's hair wouldn't stay up, so she combed it down, and then wondered as she stood in front of the mirror with the beautiful wedding dress on. "What am I doing?"

The music began only minutes later; Kelsey glanced up and realized it was too late. Panic gripped her. How could she cancel now? It was too late. Her parents had spent a small fortune on the wedding, could she dare call a halt?

Hurriedly she ran to her place, beside her father. He smiled calmly, and took her arm. No last minute reprisals from him, either? Could she go through with this, even for the baby's sake?

"I'm very proud of you, Kelsey," her father said to her astonishment.

Suddenly, the procession began and she felt her knees wobble. Her father glanced at her inquiringly, and smiled.

She couldn't do this? But Nick's last words haunted her, trust?

She walked down the long aisle, glancing at the people in the congregation, smiling at her. She wanted to bolt, and yet something rooted her to this spot. Trust?

Her family on one side, his on the other, a contrast. Jackson nodded his approval as she caught a glimpse of him, across the room. Dorothy stood next to him, tall and proud, a vague smile on her lips. Her mother nodded. They were all a blur except for Tina now, just ahead of her, her maid of honor, and Tony to Nick's side, his best man. Tears rolled down Kelsey's cheek.

Then she saw Nick and everything faded but him. How handsome he looked in his tux. Oh how she loved him at this moment. Her heart felt as though it had jumped into her throat.

A tiny hope flamed in her heart. Another tear fell.

The music suddenly stopped, her father let go of her arm, and Nick took her hand, his eyes ablaze.

The priest said a prayer, and then he asked them to kneel. Kelsey felt her whole body shake as she went to her knees. She gulped back a loud sob, and suddenly, Nick turned to look at her.

"Wait," he shouted aloud. The congregation burst out with alarm, then quieted. Kelsey stiffened her face full of strange anticipation. Nick whispered something to the priest and he nodded. Then Nick helped Kelsey to her feet and lifted the veil.

"Oh God, you're so beautiful, even when you're scared stiff," he whispered for her ears only. "But I can't make you go through with this without telling you how very much I love you, Kel, and how much I want to marry you." He turned around, faced the crowd of people with a smile. "Everything is fine. I just want the world to know how much I love Kelsey O'Sullivan." He shouted to the congregation, and everyone clapped and shouted with joy.

Kelsey wiped the tears from her eyes and stared into Nick's smiling face, "What did you say?"

"I said, I love you more than my life. I'll do anything to make this marriage work. I can't live without you. But I forgot, in all my haste to give you the choice—will you marry me, Kelsey O'Sullivan?"

"Oh Nick," she cried, grabbing his shoulders for support, and looked lovingly into his face.

"Oh yes, yes, I'll marry you."

Then everything disappeared as Nick took her in his arms and kissed her thoroughly on the lips, and she melted into his embrace. For a moment there was nothing but the two of them.

The congregation seemed to sigh aloud.

The ceremony lasted another thirty minutes, and then the priest smiled and whispered, "You may kiss the bride—again!"

The reception took a couple of hours. Finally, they were in the backseat of a limo embraced in each other's arms, as rice spilled from their clothes and hair.

"I can't believe we've done it," she sighed happily.

"Now what about this name Flora, do you like it or not?"

"I-I hate it," she hesitated to tell him.

"So do I." He chuckled. "And before we go any further, are you advertising for any more sperm donors?"

She giggled. "I won't need to, now!"

He teased her lips, feeling himself grow warm, and ready for her, "What do you say we stop off at the garage on our way to Carmel. I've got a '57 Chevy I'd like to show you."

"I'd love to see it," she said with a smile.

"Great, we've got another reception down there, waiting for us. I told the kids about you, you know, the ones I teach karate, and they want to meet you. I've got plans to open a karate school, what do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea, and I can't wait to meet them."

"Don't worry, we'll run everyone off early."

"Why Mr. Leonetti, what do you have in mind?"

"You'd be surprised. I never told you about my foot fetish have I?" He smiled and kissed her on the nose.

"You neglected to mention that."

"Forgive me for not confessing my love sooner. But, I had to concentrate on the one thing I knew you wanted—the baby."

She giggled. "Your baby! And it's only one thing I wanted—not the only thing."

"If it helps, I was in pain." He smiled and kissed her hand. "But I wanted you to realize that our love was not just on a physical plain. I wanted to tell you how I felt that night in the garage, and the other night too, but I was afraid you wouldn't believe me. I wanted to make you love me, for being me, Nick Leonetti."

"Oh Nick." she sighed happily, kissed him hotly.

He finally had to push her away to explain more. "Mama planned a spaghetti party, first, and my older brothers and their families will be there, they were in the wedding congregation, but they couldn't make the reception because they planned this one. It won't be as high class, but everyone there loves you. There will be music and dancing, and kissing, relatives you wouldn't believe, like my Uncle Antonio that won't let go of you, and afterwards," He whispered in her ear, and she giggled. "Maybe we should forget the garage and go somewhere quiet. I don't think I can wait till we get to Carmel."

"No, I like your first plan better. We'll just run them off a little early. Besides, I want to meet the boys, and your friends, and be with your family. And Nick, I haven't told you. I haven't said the words—but I love you too. Just for being you. From the moment you said you wouldn't have any part of my plan."

"I gambled on that." He smiled and kissed her hotly on the lips. "But a guy needs to hear it sometimes."

"I'll remember to tell you often."

"We're good for each other," he chuckled and planted a more than inviting kiss to her enticing pink lips.

"I want several children," she began questioningly.

"Me too."

"I want to live in New York," she insisted.

"Sounds great," he said and smiled. "It's always been home to me."

"I want to quit working, and be a mother, and wife."

"Great. I like being the bread winner. We won't live on your family's money, agreed?"

"Agreed. What you make, I'll spend."

"I'll put you on a budget," he insisted. "And I'll keep the garage so I can tinker from time to time, at least till someone wants to buy me out for another sky scraper. But I need a place to go when you get your dander up."

"That's alright; I'll probably run home to mother when we fight. Does it still bother you that the old neighborhoods are going to disappear?"

"It'll always bother me. But its guys like me that make history survive. Hell's Kitchen will never completely die in the heart of the people at least. But I've been through a few changes, and it didn't kill me. I'm learning to adapt."

"So you'd put me on a budget?"

"I'll probably have to."

"I'll skimp one month, and splurge the next, then. I'll spoil our children with love, like your family has you. You know you're richer than you think Nick. You have always had the one commodity that money can't buy—love. And that's one Leonetti tradition I plan on cultivating myself. We'll bake, and sew and make crafts all the time. You'll have to walk over everything in the house to get to us. I want—"

"Ever done it in a limo?" Nick asked pulling the curtain between them and the driver, his face mirroring his love for her.

"No," but there's always a first time."