Sexy Bondage Techniques

Lying up your lover is a great way to take control. The reason I enjoy it: if he can’t move, he can’t call the shots, and that’s perfect because it means I’m free to demand sexual favours or tease him until he’s completely weak with lust. I’ve noticed that men are reluctant to admit they like the vulnerability of being tied up. Yet once they’re bound to the bed they find it incredibly erotic. Take the lead – tell him you’re doing it for your own pleasure rather than his.

GATHER YOUR PROPS

Most people think of ropes and handcuffs when they think of bondage, but unless you want to engage in serious kinkiness, these are some of the friendlier options for making your lover into a sexy captive:

• Silk scarves – these are great because they can serve a dual purpose. After you’ve wafted them seductively over your lover’s body, in particular his penis, balls and belly, you can use them to tie his ankles and wrists to the bed. Just don’t tie silk scarves too tight (and keep a pair of scissors handy in case the knots are difficult to undo).

• Bondage tape – it might sound daunting, but bondage tape is one of the simplest and safest types of restraint (great for beginners). The first time you use it, wrap it around your captive’s ankles or wrists.

• Velcro cuffs – You can find fur-lined cuffs with quick-release Velcro fastenings in any online sex shop. They’re quick and easy to slap on him when he’s been naughty and they won’t cut off his blood supply.

• Spank ties – these bendy toys are perfect for novices. They’re lengths of flexible metal coated in comfortably soft rubber. As well as being easy to use, they’re surprisingly versatile. They can be used to give your lover a naughty spank before tying him up.

GETTING INTO A BIND

The most popular position for being tied up is lying spread-eagled on the bed. It’s a bondage cliché, but it’s got a lot to recommend it: it leaves the captive’s genitals exposed, which provides intense erotic vulnerability, and easy access to hotspots; and because the captive’s arms are secured, there’s no choice but to surrender.

When tying your lover’s hands together, instead of binding his wrists with the palms face to face, tell him to cross his wrists in front of his body, then wrap a long, skinny scarf around them in a criss-cross fashion. This not only looks sexier, it also allows him to put his arms behind his head while you have your wicked way with him. Let him do the same to you.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Even if you’re only doing some light dabbling in the world of bondage, follow these safety guidelines:

• Agree a codeword that means “stop, I’ve had enough”. Always choose something other than the word “stop” because shouting this is often part of the fun and so can lead to misunderstandings.

• Don’t tie your lover up and leave him on his own.

• Don’t tie anything around the neck, and don’t cut off circulation – you should always be able to slide one or two fingers between your lover’s skin and the restraint.