WHAT A PIECE OF SHEET CAKE

aka: Cinco Leches Cake with Malted Milk Whipped Cream & Dulce de Leche Drizzle

Done right, leches cake is moist and fluffy — unlike your frenemy, who’s just soggy and sad.

CAKE

• 2 cups cake flour, plus extra for the pan
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 4 ounces butter, room temp
• 1 + 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
• 5 eggs
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

GLAZE

• 1 (12-ounce) can evaporated milk
• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup half-and-half

1. Crank up the oven to 350°F, and butter (Yay!) or spray (Eh.) a 13 x 9-inch baking pan.
2. Whisk together the cake flour, baking powder, and salt in a midsize bowl.
3. In a bigger mixing bowl, beat that butter on medium speed of a stand mixer until it’s learned its lesson (or until fluffy), about a minute.
4. Drop the speed to low, and sloooooowly add the sugar during the next minute. Then stop and scrape down sides of bowl.
5. Crack in the eggs, one by one, mixing until each is totally combined.
6. Dump in the vanilla and mix to combine.
7. Add that flour mixture to the batter in three batches, mixing until just combined. DO NOT OVER MIX!
8. Transfer batter to the prepared baking pan and spread evenly. (The amount of batter may appear pretty small, but don’t worry!)
9. Bake for 20 minutes or until cake is all goldeny and scrumptious, turning halfway through cook time. Remove cake from oven.
10. Using a skewer or fork (or shank), thoroughly stab that cake with small holes. Then set aside, allowing cake to bleed out — I mean, cool completely.
11. For glaze, whisk the evaporated milk, sweetened condensed milk, and half-and-half in a medium bowl until combined.
12. Pour glaze mixture over stabbed, cooled cake. Then wrap and refrigerate cake overnight.

HACK IT If your electric mixer is an untrustworthy little prick, hand-mix the stuff.

WHIPPED CREAM

• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup vanilla malted milk

1. Dump the cream, sugar, vanilla, and malted milk into a cold mixing bowl.
2. With an electric mixer, whisk ingredients on high speed until fluffy, about a minute.

DULCE DE LECHE DRIZZLE

• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

1. Peel the label from the unopened can of sweetened condensed milk, place in a medium saucepan, and cover completely with water.
2. Boil for 3-ish hours, replenishing water as needed to keep can fully submerged.
3. Remove from heat and cool the can to room temp.
4. Open can. (Ta-da!)

	HACK IT Longer or shorter cooking times could result in color/consistency variations. Experiment and find the dulce de leche that’s muy bueno to you!

To Assemble

1. Using an icing spatula or butter knife, frost cinco leches cake with malted milk whipped cream. Top with fresh berries, if you’re into that.
2. Drizzle dulce de leche on top, and then sprinkle with a pinch of salt. (Any coarse salt will work!)

LYIN’ NO-GOOD CHEAT! Ain’t got time for the this? Do this instead: Buy a box of yellow or white cake, and follow the easy-to-follow instructions. Assemble with glaze from this recipe,1 tub of Cool Whip® topping, and 1 squeeze bottle of dulce de leche topping.

HEARTS & FLOURS

Ok, consider this… You’re totally into some dude/dudette. They’re like your BFF, but you want to be more than just friends. So Valentine’s Day rolls around, and a box of flowers arrives on your doorstep, inside your locker, or whatever, with a card that reads, “To: [Your Name Here] From: That Dude/Dudette.” And you’re, like, Oh man, this is it! You tear open the box to discover… yellow carnations. And then you’re like, WTF. Because WTF.

Long story short, just like there’s a flower for every occasion (i.e., I-just-wanna-stay-friends-so-here’s-some-frickin’-yellow-carnations carnations), there’s also a flour for every recipe. Check it.

	ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR (A Carnation) Perfect for just about any occasion from sheet cakes to funerals. (But not Valentine’s Day. Never.)
	CAKE FLOUR (A Rose) Like a rose, cake flour is perfect for those tender moments (i.e., tender cake, muffins, and biscuits).
	PASTRY FLOUR (A Honeysuckle) Embrace this flour and you will be amazed at what a little skill and imagination can whip up.
	BREAD FLOUR (A Daisy) Bread flour and daisies are both simple & resilent — perfect for friendships or yeasty loafs on the rise.
	WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR (A Magnolia) Robust and full of possibilities. Sometimes nutty or dense, but never too rough.
	SELF-RISING FLOUR (A Forget-Me-Not) Self-rising flour is not to be forgotten. Pre-mixed with baking powder and salt, it’s perfect for biscuits and pancakes.