WHAT AN ABSOLUTE NUT JOB
aka: Cracker Jacks® Nut Brittle
Everyone’s heard the old clichés comparing relationship progress to baseball, right? You know, like, how a kiss equals making it to first base. And, like, how when someone heads for second base, you get bored and start looking for the peanut vendor (“Peanuts! Get yer peanuts here!”), and by third base you’re knee-deep in shells. And then everyone’s suddenly cheering, and you’re like “Hellz yeah, I ate that whole bag!” No…? Never? Huh.
BRITTLE
- 1 cup butter
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 1 cup corn syrup
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 pound peanuts, dry-roasted and salted
- 1 box Cracker Jacks®
- Preheat oven to 250°F, and get a sheet pan prepped with Silpat® or parchment paper.
- In a medium saucepan, boil the butter, sugars, and corn syrup for 5 minutes.
- Take off heat and stir in the vanilla and baking soda. Then stir in the peanuts. (Do not over-stir, you greedy bastard)
- Spread this scrumptiousness out onto the prepped sheet and cook for 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes or so.
- Remove the sheet from the oven and immediately stir in Cracker Jacks®.
- Cool completely and then — WHAM-O! — smash into pieces with a mallet or a five-fingered octagon (i.e. yo fist).
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HACK IT Ain’t got Cracker Jacks®? No problem! (Well, except for the fact that you’re missing out on rockin’ those in-the-box temporary tattoos!) Replace with caramel corn or hard cereals, like Cap’n Crunch®, Kix®, or some fall-festive Apple Jacks®. |
HOW TO SPOT A NUT WHEN YOU SEE ONE
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