REVENGE IS BEST SERVED WARM

Dumped by your oh-so significant other? BFF steal your one-and-only? Lab partner a more-than-periodic no-show?

Don’t take these battles online, people. (Seriously, don’t do that, ok?) Instead, take all that frustration, jealousy, and I-want-to-rip-your-heart-out-and-feed-it-to-my-freaking-Pekingese murderous anger into the kitchen.

Because despite what you’ve heard, revenge is best served warm.

That’s right, all you Burned and Beaten Down, get out your heaviest rolling pins, sharpest cleavers, and most blistering torches, and kill your enemies & exes… with kindness. Or at least bake them some killer cakes.

And no, I’m not talking about baking a Mr. Yuk-face-approved, “Come on, have a bite, Snow White,” poisonous apple pie. I’m talking about the real deal: 100% delicious AF cakes, cookies, and candies. (Oh my!) I’m talking about consciously choosing to be generous and to make fat, happy things, even for the worst of the worst.

Why? Because kindness is rare, folks. It’s radical. Like baking, kindness takes time, energy, and effort, and those efforts are wholeheartedly returned. Trust me, they are. Somehow, they always are. For me, those returns have been absolute happiness, in all its dippy, dumb, lovely, joyful glory.

I hope the same for you.

So, come on. Stop your bitchin’ and get in that kitchen. Bake that loser ex a half dozen D-Bagels or a pan of Go Fudge Yourself. Gift your former friend a You’re the Devil Food Cake or a What a Piece of Sheet Cake. And give that waste of O2 a scoop of When I Think of Us, Ice Cream. Let them taste your post-them happiness, and see what comes next…

Now that’s some SWEET REVENGE.

Kindly,