Millie hasn’t heard much about the trip to the States. Beatrix has been quiet and withdrawn since she returned. But Millie hasn’t asked any questions. She understands now how private Beatrix is, how much she hates the way Millie wants to be a part of her life, especially her life with the Gregorys. Millie was concerned enough, though, to suggest a weekend holiday to Scotland, without even mentioning that they go together, even though that’s really what she wanted. Beatrix had gone, alone, and had reported back that it was a lovely spot. Millie hasn’t seen her since she got back. But then last night, Beatrix called and asked Millie to go Christmas shopping with her. I want to get gifts for William’s children, she said, and Millie was thrilled to be asked.
They decide on a few of the Paddington Bear books for the boy and a needlepoint kit for the girl. Nothing for the others, Millie asks, trying to be offhanded. I don’t think so, Beatrix says. I wouldn’t know what to get. Then she looks up at Millie with tears in her eyes. There’s too much sorrow, Mum. I don’t think anyone’s in the mood for gifts. Millie nods. I understand, she says. The first Christmas after your father died I was furious at all the joy.
Later, as they’re walking through the crowded streets, Bea tells her about Rose and her infatuation with the Kennedys. When I heard about the assassination, she says, I immediately wondered how Rose was handling it. You had a thing for Princess Margaret, Millie says. Do you remember that? Beatrix smiles. Of course. The first year I was in America, Mrs. G took me to buy a party dress. And all I wanted was the one that looked just like a dress Princess Margaret wore the year before.
Did you enjoy spending time with Gerald while you were there, Millie asks, knowing as she does that she’s breaking her own rule, but she can’t help herself. I did, Beatrix says. I feel as though I have a new friend. A new old friend. And I have you to thank for that, Mum. Going to William’s funeral was the right thing to do. I didn’t understand how important it would be.
Millie smiles, turning her head away so Beatrix can’t see. She can’t retrace her steps, she can’t redo the things she regrets, but maybe, just maybe, she and Beatrix can come out all right.