Dear World,
My first day was okay. I don’t really know what to say. I’m not a fashion blogger. And my new boss isn’t as fun and cool as I thought he was going to be. But that’s the least of my problems. My date was canceled. The guy sent me a message and then deleted me and so I’m still a dating disaster. I also have a new neighbor, did I tell you about him? I don’t really want to say much, but he’s crazy and super hot, and he leaves the most inappropriate notes I’ve ever seen in my life. And well, I kind of already know him. Though you would never believe how I know him. Let’s just say that once, a very long time ago, I was a very bad girl.
XOXO,
Magnolia
My arms were feeling heavy from carrying the fat stack of finance books that I’d gotten at the bookstore. I hadn’t taken a tote bag and had been too cheap to buy a plastic bag, and now my arms were feeling the pain. I walked out of the elevator and towards my front door, thankful that Jagger wasn’t standing in the corridor waiting for me. Lunch had actually been an enjoyable experience, but that didn’t mean anything. Jagger had always been a fun guy to be around; a total player, but a fun guy.
I stopped outside my door and searched for my keys, groaning as I noticed about ten sticky notes posted on my door. What did this man not understand when I’d told him not to leave me any more notes? I debated leaving the notes on the door, ripping them off and dropping them on his doormat, or gathering them and taking them into the apartment with me. Finally, curiosity got the better of me and I took the notes in with me. I dropped the books onto my blue velvet couch that I’d gotten at WestElm on a huge discount and carried the notes with me to the kitchen. I placed them on my small pinewood kitchen table and opened the fridge. I was thirsty and hungry, and I had no idea what I was going to eat for dinner. I stared at my half-empty fridge and opened the freezer. I had some frozen pasta dishes that I’d bought the day before and decided to microwave a chicken parmigiana meal. I walked over to the dining room table and looked at the notes, which had been clearly labeled from one to ten, and decided to read through them while I waited.
Note #1
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
Lunch was fun. Your friend is cute. I enjoyed the dim sum but would have enjoyed you more.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #2
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
So, are we ever going to talk about our past, or is that to remain hidden, like a dead body in a Lifetime movie?
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #3
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
Did you get a boob job or are those natural? I can do a feel test and let you know what I think if you’re up for it.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #4
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
I’m up for it.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #5
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
I’m very UP for it. If you know what I mean.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #6
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
I hope your first day is going better. If you need a new job, let me know. I know someone that’s hiring. And you can work from home and in bed. My bed.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #7
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
I had a dream last night. It involved you bouncing up and down. I’m sure you can guess what you were bouncing on.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
P. S. No, it wasn’t a bouncy castle
Note #8
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
Can I get your phone number? This way we can save the environment. I can text instead of using paper. And I can include photos.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #9
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
If you want to come over for dinner tonight, let me know. I can be your dessert. I’ve been told I’m very sweet.
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Note #10
To My Cute Neighbor in #4,
Do you consider eight inches big or massive? Trying to decide how to describe my cock on a dating app. :P
Your hunky neighbor in #5,
Jagger
Instead of writing him back a series of rude comments, I decided to call my best friend, Anna. She would know what to do and how I should handle everything.
I grabbed my phone in one hand and was about to start texting her when the microwave beeped, indicating that my meal was done. I grabbed it and carried it to the table, pulling off the plastic. A blob of red sauce and spaghetti stared up at me. There was barely any chicken to be seen, but I wasn’t going to think about it too much. This is what you got when you didn’t cook for yourself. No one ever said that microwave meals were gourmet.
I sat back down at the table and was about to eat when I heard a loud bump against the wall. I froze, wondering if it was intentional or not. I heard another thud and some taps and realized that Jagger was most probably tapping some sort of code to me. I stood there for about ten seconds, and then the thumping stopped. I called Anna, but she didn’t answer so I hung up. I grabbed a pen and a Post-It and quickly wrote a note back to him.
To the Rude Guy in Apartment Five,
Eight millimeters is pretty small. I’m so sorry that you have a micropenis, but maybe a plastic doll somewhere will be interested. Hopefully, the last doll didn’t spread the word or you might be out of luck. No thanks to dinner, no thanks to discussing the past, not interested in your dreams, but last night I dreamt I was on a date with Brad Pitt. Let’s just say he’s the only one I can see myself bouncing on anytime soon.
#4
P.S. Stop banging on my wall. It’s annoying as hell and I will have to report you to the building management if you continue.
I smiled at my note, pleased at my response. “Take that, Jagger,” I muttered as I reread it. I was very clear. He would see that I had no interest in him whatsoever. I didn’t care that my heart had raced at his comment about my boobs. Just thinking of him touching them made my body tingle. How many nights had I imagined him touching me?
Ugh, I didn’t even want to think about those memories. I didn’t want to think about a time when him asking me to give him a lap dance would have made my panties wet. The sad thing was I knew that he knew just how badly I’d wanted him. That was why I had to ensure that he knew I wanted nothing to do with him now. I stood up, walked to my front door and held it open. I tiptoed outside of my door and into the corridor and then practically ran to Jagger’s door. I wanted to leave the note without him realizing I was there. I thought I was safe and was about to place the note on his door when it suddenly swung open.
“Why, looky here.” Jagger’s laughing green eyes stared at me. “I have a visitor.”
“No, you don’t.” My hand was still up in the air, and I tried not to gawk. He was standing there wearing nothing but a pair of black basketball shorts. His dark hair was wet, and I could see water droplets running down his chest through his neatly trimmed chest hair. Shit, he was sexy!
“Why are you at my door, then?”
“I came to give you this,” I said feebly, handing him the note in my hand. He took it from me and read it quickly. I wasn’t sure why I continued to stand there as he read it. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment or maybe it was because secretly I enjoyed our back and forths.
“So you want to bang Brad Pitt?” He cocked his head to the side and studied me. “Are you telling me that you wish I was blond? I can dye my hair if you want.”
“I don’t think you’d look good with blond hair.”
“I think I would look good with any color hair.” He winked at me. “And by the way. I’m not talking about millimeters. I’m talking about inches.”
“Excuse me?” I pretended to be ignorant of what he was talking about.
“My cock,” he said and then he reached down and grabbed himself. My eyes widened as he started laughing. “It’s eight inches. Not millimeters, not centimeters.”
“That’s nice.” I shrugged. “Not eight feet, though.”
“I’m not sure what an eight-foot cock would look like.” He stared at my lips. “I don’t think you could suck on eight feet.”
“I couldn’t suck on eight inches, either.”
“I have a feeling you’d be okay.” He opened his door wider. “Would you like to come inside?”
“No.”
“No?” He stared into my eyes for a few seconds. “You don’t want to have dinner?”
“I just ate.”
“I waited for you, though.” He pouted. “I haven’t cooked or eaten yet.”
“No one told you to wait for me.”
“You haven’t changed yet.” He smiled. “Putting a note on my door was more important, huh?”
“I was just about to change.” I took a step back. “Anyways, I should go back to my apartment now.”
“No need to run. Don’t you want to wait for my reply?”
“What reply?”
“The reply to your note.”
“I don’t need a reply.” I shook my head. “Well, have a good evening.”
“Wait.” He took a step forward. “Do you want to watch a movie tonight?”
“A movie?” I blinked at him. “Where?”
“My place. Your place.” He shrugged. “The movie theater? You can choose.”
“I can’t.” I shook my head. “I have homework for my new job. I need to figure out as much as I can about credit and finance.”
“Tonight?”
“I’m thinking I’m going to write my first blog post tomorrow.” I nodded. “The app is launching in a month, and we need to generate hype.”
“Never thought I’d see you working in the tech industry.” Jagger looked thoughtful. “I know about finance. You know, I studied business. I can help you.”
“Oh, yeah.” I had almost forgotten that he’d gotten a business degree and then worked on Wall Street. “What are you doing now?” I asked instead of acknowledging his offer to help. I knew the sort of help he was offering and I was not interested. One second he’d be talking about stocks and the next second my bra would be off. Not today, Satan! I know your plan, Jagger.
“Now?” He smiled. “Talking to you.”
“I mean, what are you doing for a job? What made you move to San Francisco?” His charm was too engaging, and I was awfully distracted by his abs. He had the most defined six-pack I’d ever seen in my life. I bet I could bounce a coin off his stomach.
“So many questions.” He chuckled. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to come in for a drink or something even if you don’t have time for a movie?”
“I don’t drink, sorry.”
“You don’t drink?” He looked shocked. “But how do you survive without water?”
“Well, of course I drink water. I just meant I don’t drink alcohol.”
“Did I mention alcohol?”
“No.”
“I suppose the two wine bottles I saw in your apartment earlier are for guests?”
“What?” My face was heating up again. Why had I lied about not drinking?
“The two bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon. One looked like it was half empty. Did your boyfriend drink it or just a friend?” He tilted his head to the side. “I guess they came over before I moved here?”
“You’re such an asshole. Fine, I do drink. I just don’t want to drink with you.”
“You really don’t want to be friends with me, do you?”
“I have enough friends.”
“We can be special friends?”
“Special friends?”
“Friends that bump uglies.” He grinned. “Or should I say, bump pretties.”
“I’m going now, Jagger.” I turned around, and I could hear him chuckling as I walked away.
“I’m taking that as a maybe, then?” he called after me.
I could picture the cocky look on his face in my mind, even though I couldn’t see it. I walked back into my apartment and slammed the door shut behind me, leaning back into the door as it closed. Holy shit! This was going to be hard. I buried my face in my hands and tried not to think about Jagger’s sexy body. He looked like a Roman statue, all chiseled and perfect. And he was so tan, his skin a warm olive color. I found myself wondering if his ass had the same golden hue or if it was as pasty white as it had been when he was younger. Oh yes, I could still picture his ass from before.
I cringed, realizing that Jagger could probably remember the color of my ass as well. I opened my eyes and was about to head to my books when my phone rang. I hurried over to answer it quickly, pleased when I saw Anna’s name on the screen.
“Hey, you!” I answered the phone, a huge smile on my face.
“Magnolia, my darling, how are you?” she gushed into the phone. “I’m so sorry I missed your call. I was in the gym.”
“The gym? Wow.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not trying to get fit. I’m still the same fat old me. I’ve been trying to make contact with a possible client.” She giggled into the phone, and I walked over to the couch to settle in while we chatted. “I heard he’s looking for a ten-million-dollar apartment, and I want to become his realtor.”
“How are you going to get that to happen in the gym?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far.” She sighed heavily. “But how are you? How’s the city by the bay?”
“It’s okay. I started my new job today.”
“Oh, yeah? How’s that going?”
“It’s going.” It was my turn to sigh. “Actually, I have even bigger news. You will not believe who just moved to San Francisco and who my new neighbor is.”
“Who?”
“Are you sitting down?”
“No, why?”
“You need to sit down for this one.”
“Oh my God, do not tell me that Bradley Cooper is your neighbor!” Anna squealed. “Okay, I’m on a plane tomorrow.”
“No, of course he’s not my neighbor.” I laughed. “Be real, Anna. Bradley Cooper isn’t moving into a one-bedroom apartment in the Tendernob.”
“I thought you lived in a studio?”
“I am in a studio, but all the other apartments on the floor are one-bedrooms.”
“Oh, okay.” She paused. “So I’m guessing from your reaction your new neighbor isn’t famous.”
“In his dreams, maybe.”
“Okay, how am I supposed to guess this, Magnolia? I have no clue.”
“Kingston Scott.”
“No way.” Her voice sounded shocked. “The King?”
“Yup, the King. Live and in person.”
“He’s your new neighbor?”
“Yup.”
“Oh, shit.”
“He goes by Jagger now.”
“The King goes by Jagger?”
“Yup.”
“Why?”
“No idea.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Ignore him,” I said. “I just can’t believe this. Why do I always have bad luck?”
“I can’t believe he’s there,” she murmured, and then she cleared her throat. “Have you spoken to Doug?”
“No, no, of course not,” I said quickly.
She seemed to get the hint and didn’t keep talking about Doug. “I’m sorry, Magnolia. That sounds like the absolute worst.”
“It is.”
“How does he look now?”
“Like a fucking god,” I groaned. “He’s even hotter than before.”
“Uh oh.”
“Uh oh what?”
“Don’t let his looks get to you, Magnolia,” she said softly. “He ruined your life once. Don’t let him ruin it again.”
“I know.” I sighed. “He’s making it hard, Anna. He’s still charming. He’s still sexy. And he’s still the cockiest bastard I’ve ever met. I can’t lie to you. I want him. I want him bad.”
“You can’t have him.”
“I know.”
“Remember what happened last time.”
“I will go to my grave remembering, Anna.” I closed my eyes to try and remove the image of Jagger from my mind. “Isn’t life funny? There was a point in my life when I would have died to live next door to Jagger. I would have paid a million dollars to see his smile every day, and now I’d pay a million dollars to never see him at all.”
“You’ll be okay, Magnolia. I promise.” Anna said, her voice soft. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I have to go now, but I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“Sounds good, and good luck with your millionaire. I hope you get his business.”
“Thanks, girl. Love you.”
And with that, she was gone. I placed the phone on the couch next to me and stared up at the ceiling. Wasn’t life ironic? I could remember having daydreams about Jagger. I could remember picturing his lips against mine. I could remember the touch of his skin on my fingers. I could remember his deep, throaty laugh. I could remember walking to the beach and watching the sunset with him. I could remember how magical it had felt. How I’d felt like I’d been flying in the sky with the birds. How my heart had raced and my entire body had felt like it was on ecstasy. How we’d laughed and talked and laid back and thrown stones into the water as we’d waited. How the sky had been a majestic array of purple, orange, and red.
How I’d thought that was the best night of my life.
The very next day, everything had blown up in my face, and I’d never seen him again. I wished I could say that I’d never thought of him either, but that would be a lie. I’d thought about him often. Wondered how he was. Hoped he was happy. Hoped he was dead. Hoped he’d thought of me. Wished that I would somehow morph into a beautiful, rich supermodel and bump into him in a grocery store.
I’d truly never expected to see him again and now he was here. Right next door. He was the rude guy in apartment five, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next. My life had turned upside down, and I wasn’t sure it would ever be the same again.