I was eight and Jagger was ten when he taught me how to skateboard. Doug had gone down the street with some of the neighborhood boys and left me behind sitting wistfully on the pavement in my rollerblades.
“What’s up, Magnolia?” Jagger had sat next to me and ruffled my hair. “You want a popsicle?”
“No, thanks.” I’d stared at the skateboard by his side and looked into his green eyes. “I don’t want to rollerblade. I want to skate.”
“So why don’t you?”
“Because I can’t stay on. I keep falling off.” I sighed. “And Doug won’t help me.”
“You want me to help?”
“You don’t want to join the guys?”
“I’ll go afterwards.” He’d stood, pulling me up with him. “Take your blades off and put on your sneakers.” He’d put his skateboard on the pavement in front of me. “First we’re going to work on your balance,” he told me as I finished lacing up my shoes. “I just want you to try and stay centered on the board and hold onto my hand. I’ll pull you down the street, okay?”
“Okay.”
And for the next three afternoons, Jagger had held my hand as I skated until I finally was able to go a few feet without him. Doug had then asked me to join him and his other friends. I’d told Jagger thanks and gone, but I’d never forgotten how, even as a young kid, he’d had my back.
I was twelve and Jagger was fourteen. I’d been embarrassed because I was sleeping over and I needed to change. Doug hadn’t seemed to understand that I wasn’t cool with us changing in front of each other anymore. I was in a training bra then and very self-conscious about my growing breasts. Doug and Jagger had been playing video games in Doug’s room, and Doug had told me to hurry up and change so that we could set up a tent fort in the middle of the room with our sleeping bags. I’d stood there, hesitant, my hand on the bottom of my t-shirt. Jagger had watched me for a few seconds and then he’d jumped up and said, “Come on, Doug, let’s go and get some cookies and milk.” Doug had protested at first, but Jagger had convinced him. “You’ve got three minutes to change.” He’d smiled at me as they’d left the room and I’d smiled back gratefully, ripping my t-shirt off as soon as he’d closed the door.
I was fifteen and Jagger was seventeen. I needed a dress for a school dance. Daisy wouldn’t go to the mall with me, and my parents were too busy to take me. Jagger had borrowed his parents’ car and driven me to a mall in New Jersey. I’d tried on five dresses, even though I had twelve in the changing room with me. I hadn’t bothered trying on the other seven because as soon as I’d walked out in dress number five, Jagger’s eyes had widened, his jaw had dropped, and I’d seen him looking me up and down.
All he’d said was, “Nice,” but I’d known from the look in his eyes that he’d thought I’d looked beautiful. I’d never seen that look in his eyes before. I didn’t even care that he’d tried to talk me out of buying it. He’d said it was inappropriate for a girl my age to be showing so much leg and skin, but I hadn’t cared. I’d spent all of my babysitting money on that dress and I could still remember the look in his eyes.
Then came the best memory of all. The memory that had led me to believe that maybe, perhaps, Jagger thought about me as more than a friend or a surrogate little sister. It was perhaps my favorite childhood memory and the one I regretted the most. It had been the day of my seventeenth birthday party. Jagger had been living at home while in college, so he was around. My parents held a barbecue in the backyard, and then afterwards we all danced in the living room when my parents went up to bed.
I remembered the exact moment.
I’d walked onto the dance floor with Anna, both of us giggling as we danced, slightly tipsy on the beer and wine some of my classmates had brought. Jagger had walked up to me and asked me to dance. Of course, I’d said yes. He’d held me close to him, and we’d slow danced, even though the music was more appropriate for bumping and grinding.
“You’re really growing into a beautiful young lady, Magnolia Allen,” he’d whispered in my ear.
I’d just smiled at him. I wanted to tell him how handsome I thought he was, but I was too shy, and I’d said nothing.
“Do you remember that night we kissed at my party?” he’d asked, and I’d nodded. He’d smiled then, a long, wide smile, his green eyes dancing as his hand had caressed my back. “I remember it as well,” he’d whispered. He dipped me, then pulled me back close to him.
A song that I didn’t know well started playing. Jagger sang along to the music, and it was as if he were singing just for me as he recited lyrics about beautiful brown eyes and long nights in bed. I had never felt happier than I did at that moment.
A few minutes later someone had grabbed a bottle and we all sat around to play spin the bottle. It was like fate when the bottle pointed at me and then at Jagger. He’d walked over to me, pulled me up and pulled me close to him.
“This would have happened tonight whether or not we’d played this game,” he’d whispered, and then he’d kissed me hard, his tongue sliding into my mouth as his hands held onto my waist. The kiss had seemed to last for an eternity, and I’d melted into him, forgetting that there were people sitting and watching us. Anna had sat there cheering, while Doug’s eyes had been wide and hurt. I hadn’t even cared, I was flying so high. That kiss had meant everything to me. It had felt momentous, like the beginning of a truly beautiful story, but I hadn’t known what to say.
I stood there awkwardly, trying to get my thoughts together when I noticed Daisy in the corner of the room crying. Her eyes met mine and I smiled at her, but she didn’t smile back. Instead, she called over to Jagger and asked him to join her. He’d looked at me and then at her and sighed. “I should go talk to your sister,” he’d said with a wry smile. “I’ll be back.”
But he hadn’t come back. He’d stayed in Daisy’s room the entire night. I knew because I saw him leaving the next morning. I’d been so hurt when I’d seen him that I’d said yes when Doug asked me out. It had all happened so quickly, with very little emotion or passion, and I hadn’t really been into it. But Doug had thought it was the next step, and because I wanted to believe in love, I went along with it, even though I wanted Jagger more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life. But Jagger didn’t want me. He couldn’t want me if he’d spent the night with Daisy. But then, I hadn’t really known what had happened that night, and I had been too self-conscious and nervous to ask.
And then there was the night of the seduction. I had been eighteen for a month. I’d been spending a lot of time over at Doug’s house, and most of the time had been spent hanging out with Jagger. Not that it had been planned, but we’d cooked meals together, watched movies, joked around, and just hung out one-on-one, partially because Doug spent most of his time playing video games on his Playstation with friends or doing SAT prep. I hadn’t really cared because Doug and I still acted like friends. We kissed a little, but there was no passion. He never pushed it, and I never pushed it. I wasn’t happy in the relationship, but I also wasn’t sad. He was still my best friend and I loved spending time around him. Jagger and I still had that chemistry, and several times he’d asked me why I was dating Doug, but whenever he asked me, I would ask about Daisy and he would just sigh.
The night before my planned seduction we had been watching a movie and he’d leaned over and stolen the last cookie off of my plate. I’d hit him in the shoulder, and he’d grabbed my hand and tried to tickle me. I pushed him back and tried to tickle him, and before I knew what was happening we were wrestling each other, laughing and squirming. At first, it was all fun and games, but as I wrapped my legs around his waist, I’d realized that something very hard was poking me through my shorts. He’d held my hands up above my head and moved slowly back and forth for a few seconds, simulating a sex act. I’d been stunned and turned on. I could feel that my panties were wet, and I could see from his face that he was turned on as well. His face was red and he was breathing hard. His eyes had stared into mine and his right hand had reached down and lightly grazed my breast. Shocked, I pulled my arms away and rolled him over so that he was on his back and now I was on top.
“I’m the champion now!” I’d laughed as he stared up at me with a smirk. “Who’s your daddy?”
I could feel his hardness between my legs and it felt good. I found myself moving back and forth slowly and I closed my eyes. I’d never felt anything like this before. My whole body felt like I was on fire.
“Like that, do you?” Jagger had whispered. I’d opened my eyes and stared down at him, shocked but pleased at what was happening. He’d leaned up, kissed me lightly on the lips and then pushed me off of him. “We should watch the movie before we get into trouble.”
We’d walked over to the couch and sat back down. I didn’t ask him what sort of trouble he was talking about. I already knew, and it was then that an idea formed in my brain. An idea that I’d jumped on right away before I could chicken out.
The water turned cold as I daydreamed, and I realized I still had my toothbrush in my mouth. I’d spent the last thirty minutes standing in the water, brushing my teeth and thinking about Jagger. I put the toothbrush down, grabbed my loofah and body wash, and quickly scrubbed my skin before getting out of the shower. I wrapped the towel around my body and wandered into the living room, still thinking about Jagger. I’d been so good the last couple of years about keeping him out of my thoughts, and then he’d gone and shown up next door. What sort of luck was that?
I was about to walk back into the bedroom when someone knocked on the door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me.” Jagger’s deep voice carried through the door.
“I’m not home!” I shouted back, and he laughed.
“Open the door, Magnolia.”
“No!”
“Magnolia, open the door.” This time his voice sounded so serious and commanding that I found myself walking to the door and opening it for him. “Hey.” He surveyed me in my towel. “Cute look.”
“Very funny. What do you want?”
“I need to talk to you.” He pushed past me and walked into my living room and then looked back at me. “I’d close the door if I was you. Any old weirdo could walk in.”
“Argh. I didn’t invite you inside, Jagger.” I shut the door and walked towards him, conscious of the fact that my towel barely covered my breasts and that my hair was dripping wet. “What do you want?”
“Do you want to change first?” He sat down on my couch and leaned back. “I can wait.”
“Jagger!”
“Yes, Magnolia?” He gave me a winning smile.
I ground my teeth. “I don’t need to change. Say what you have to say and then leave.”
“Since when have you been interested in Sherlock Holmes?” he asked me as I took a seat next to him on the couch. I gazed at him in confusion and then remembered my note.
“Since forever. You know I love to read.”
“I never saw you reading Sherlock Holmes.” He shook his head. “You were always into that airy-fairy romance stuff.”
“It’s not airy-fairy!”
“Whatever.” He cocked his head to the side. “I don’t understand what your note meant.”
“That’s why you’re here?”
“You’re lucky I didn’t come over last night.” He winked at me. “I decided I would sleep on it and see if it came to me this morning, but it didn’t.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the note and then read from it. "Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Like, what the hell does that mean?” He cleared his throat and looked at the note again. "To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time." He shook his head. “What curious incident of what dog? Are you trying to tell me you’re getting a dog?”
I stifled a laugh. He really shouldn’t ever consider getting a job with the FBI. He was useless at this deduction thing.
“It’s not funny Magnolia.” He shook his head. "The dog did nothing in the night-time." He scratched his head. “Is that a reference to the other night when we nearly had sex but didn’t?” He looked at my neck then and down to my exposed thighs and I could feel my skin burning under his gaze.
“No, Jagger.” I rolled my eyes at him.
"’That was the curious incident,’ remarked Sherlock Holmes,’” Jagger said and then put the note down on the couch. “Magnolia, I’m a patient man and I love getting notes from you, but this is far too cryptic for me. I have no clue what the hell you’re trying to say. Is the dog a euphemism for my cock?”
This time it was my turn to look at his lap.
“No, Jagger.” I shook my head and the movement caused my towel to fall partway open. I stilled as I realized that I was very close to exposing the entire bottom half of my body. Jagger must have noticed it as well because he shifted closer to me and his eyes focused on my legs.
“You need to give me more, Magnolia.” He placed his hand on my thigh and I froze.
“What are you doing?” I gasped.
“I’m sorry about the other night.” His face turned serious. “I was an idiot to say what I said.”
“Yes, you were,” I agreed.
“You think I’m an asshole. I get that.” He sighed. “You know I never went by King again after that night.”
“What night?”
“You know what night.” His eyes gazed into mine. “The night when my whole life turned upside down.”
“Why did you stop going by King?”
“Do you remember what I said that night?”
“No,” I lied.
“When my brother and Daisy broke into my room and you were about to leave, I said the king hasn’t come yet and I saw the look in your eyes.” He pursed his lips.
“Finished,” I mumbled.
“What?” He blinked at me.
“You said ‘the King hasn’t finished yet.’ You didn’t say come,” I said.
“Oh, so you do remember?” A light shone in his eyes.
“Of course I remember.”
“When I saw the look in your eyes, I knew I’d fucked up.” He made a face. “I hated myself for it. It was a stupid name anyways. I’m not a king in any way.”
“That’s why you go by Jagger?” I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Really.” He nodded. “I didn’t want you to leave that night.”
“What, did you think I’d wave to Doug and be like, hey, hon, I’ll be with you in twenty minutes, I just need to lose my virginity to your brother first?”
“I wouldn’t have minded.” He looked rueful. “I was inside of you when they walked in.”
“I know.” I blushed and looked down.
“I wanted you so badly. I couldn’t believe that you were there with me, seducing me, all sexy as hell.”
“So you did know it was me?”
“Of course I knew it was you.” He grinned. “You thought I didn’t know it was you?”
“You had the mask on. My note was signed from Daisy.”
“Magnolia,” He shook his head as he stared at me. “Daisy and I never had anything physical. I was literally there just to help her with Justin.”
“But that day at the party, when we kissed … She was crying and you went to her and you spent the night in her room.”
“What?” He blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“At my birthday party, when we played spin the bottle. We kissed, and you left to go take care of her.”
“Oh.” He nodded. “I remember.” He stared at me. “I didn’t know you knew I’d stayed the night.”
“Did you guys sleep together?”
“She was crying, Magnolia. We fell asleep with her crying on my shoulder. I was her friend.” He touched my shoulder. “Your sister and I never had sex, we never kissed—actually, that’s a lie. We kissed once. Well, she kissed me. I wasn’t into it. We never had that sort of relationship.”
“Why was she crying?”
“It had to do with Justin.” He sighed. “I can’t reveal her secrets, Magnolia, but he wasn’t a great guy.” He shook his head. “She was distraught.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“I know.” He nodded. “There are many things you didn’t know.”
“I didn’t know you knew it was me.”
“I knew. I was happy.” He grinned. “I couldn’t believe my luck. I thought I finally had you, but I got the time wrong.”
“What time?”
“You said you were going to come to my room at 7 p.m. For some reason I thought it said 6 p.m.”
“So?”
“So the text told them to come at 7:15.” He looked pissed at himself. “I thought that would be plenty of time.”
“Wait, what?” My heart was thudding. “What are you talking about?”
“The texts I sent Doug and Daisy.” His face looked nervous. “You knew I sent them, right?”
“You sent the texts?” My jaw dropped. “What? Why?”
“I wanted them to see you in bed with me, snuggled up and cozy.” His right hand curled into a fist. “I was stupid, but I thought that was the best way to break it to them that we were now together. I’d told Daisy that I wanted to be with you, and I told Doug that I didn’t think you guys had a real relationship.” He shook his head. “I underestimated how in love Doug thought he was. He went out and got a ring when I told him that.” He bit down on his lower lip. “I was desperate.”
“You’re the one that texted them?” I stood up, the shock subsiding and anger coming out. “You ruined my life, Jagger!” I shouted. He stood up and reached his arm out to me, but I stepped back out of reach. “Are you kidding me? Really? Why would you do that? And on the night we were going to make love!”
“Magnolia, it was my only option, or so I thought. I thought you would sleep with me, and then feel so guilty that you’d accept Doug’s proposal and then I’d be screwed. I was afraid I’d lose you forever.”
“Doug stopped talking to me. My sister almost disowned me. Everything went to shit. My parents found out about Justin and the pregnancy, they almost kicked her out.” I poked him in the chest. “You ruined my life, and for what? If you knew it was me, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t know what to say, Magnolia.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. “I didn’t even really know how you felt until you left me that note, and I just couldn’t believe my luck.” He sighed. “Both our families thought you and Doug were perfect for each other. How could I step in and take my shot after that?”
“But we weren’t perfect for each other.” I shook my head. “There were other ways, Jagger.” I pulled away from him. “I have to get ready. I have an appointment with the doctor.”
“Are you okay?” His face looked so worried and concerned that I almost forgave him on the spot, but of course, I didn’t. It was all too much to take in.
“I’m fine. It’s just a checkup.” A sudden thought occurred to me, a way I could get a little even for what Jagger had done. “I might get to see the gender today.”
“Gender?” He looked confused and then his eyes narrowed and he looked down at my stomach. “You’re pregnant?” I nodded as I studied his expression. “Where’s the dad?”
“Don’t know.” I shrugged. “It was a one-night stand.”
“Oh.” Concern spread across his face. “How can I help?”
“What?” I was surprised at his soft expression. “What are you talking about?”
“Granted, I’d rather be the one to have knocked you up, but I will help you with the baby. Anything you need.” He smiled. “Anything.”
“I’m not pregnant, Jagger.” I gave him an awkward smile. “Sorry, that was a bad joke.”
“So … the doctor?”
“Just a regular check-up.”
“Oh, okay. Good.” He grinned now.
“Doesn’t mean I’m letting you anywhere near me.” My eyes narrowed at him. “I’m not happy with you, Jagger. At all.”
“Can I make it up to you?”
“How can you make it up to me?”
“I’ll do anything that you want.”
“Anything?” I cocked my head to the side. “Really?”
“Really?” He took a step towards me. “I’ll eat you out right now if you want.”
“Really, Jagger?” I laughed. “I thought you said you’d do anything I want, not what you want.”
“You don’t want me to eat you out?” He wagged his tongue.
“Nope,” I lied. My thighs were wet, and it wasn’t due to the water from the shower.
“Liar.” He took another step towards me and then stopped. “But if you don’t want to feel my tongue inside of you, licking your clit, bringing you to orgasm, that’s on you.”
“Why, thanks, Jagger.”
“You could sit on my face if you want.” He laughed as I rolled my eyes. “It was worth a try.”
“I’m not laughing, Jagger. I’m still pissed at you.”
“But you’re going to forgive me though, right?” He looked serious all of a sudden. “Right, Magnolia?”
“I don’t know, Jagger.” I shook my head. “I need to think, and I can’t do that right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” I paused, looking for the right words. “I just don’t understand why you did it, though, Jagger. Was it just to have sex me?” I stared into his eyes. “Just so you could be my first?”
“You think that’s why?” He stared at me. “Really?”
“I don’t know, Jagger. You don’t seem too serious about anything, other than getting laid.” I shook my head. “That seems to be the first and only thing on your mind, all the time.”
“You think all I care about is sex?”
“Did you or did you not start leaving sexually suggestive notes for me before we even met? I could have been anyone.” I shrugged. “Excuse me if I think that you’re not interested in anything other than sticking your cock in something warm.”
“Wow, okay.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I suppose I asked for that. Okay, then. I’m going to go.”
“Okay, then. Bye.”
“Ignore the note I left for you on the door,” he said. When he got to the doorway he stopped and turned. “Can I take you out for dinner tonight?”
“Why?”
“So we can start over?” He gave me a hopeful look. “Start our friendship from the beginning again?”
“Let me think about it.”
Just then, my phone started beeping. I walked over to the table and picked it up. I had a notification from my dating app and a text message from Jane. I opened Jane’s message first.
“Tate lied. Call me asap.”
I stared at the message and wondered what he had lied about and if Jane’s message was of a personal or business nature.
“I take it you're busy?” Jagger looked at me. “Work?”
“Actually it was a notification on my dating app.” I smiled sweetly and then walked over to him waving my phone in my hand. “Most probably from a guy I’m meant to go on a date with.”
“You’re going on a date?” His eyes narrowed. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” I brought my shoulders back and stared into his eyes. “I’m single, free, and uncommitted.” I looked him up and down. “As are you. I don’t see me asking you about your dates.”
“About my dates?” He shook his head and muttered something under his breath.
“What did you say?”
“I said that I should take you over my lap right now and spank you for being so impertinent.”
“Impertinent?” I gave him a look. “Are you for real?”
“I’m so for real.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Is that a dare right now?” He grinned and took a step towards me. “Because you know I never back away from a dare.”
“I know that you wouldn’t be stupid enough …” My voice trailed off as he grabbed ahold of me and picked me up. “What are you doing?” My arms flailed around as he carried me over to my couch. “Jagger, stop it, put me down!”
“Yes, ma’am.” He sat down and placed me over his lap so that my legs were hanging off the sides of his thighs. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but a dare is a dare.”
“Kingston Jagger Scott, you better not!” I gasped as I felt him lifting my towel up over my ass. “Jagger!” I almost screamed as I felt the cool air on my ass. I kept my legs closed and tried to turn over.
“That’s my name,” he growled. “This is because you dared me.” He lightly slapped my ass.
“Oh, hell no!” I wiggled in his lap, then stopped when I realized that all I was doing was making my towel ride even higher. “Jagger, let me go!”
But he just slapped me lightly again and then rubbed my skin. I moaned slightly at his touch. It felt good, sensual and warm, and his fingers were kneading my muscles, making me relaxed. I was annoyed at how much I was enjoying his touch; after everything that I’d just found out, I didn’t want him to think I was actually like this.
“Are you sure?” He slapped me once again and his fingers slipped down over the curve of my ass to my thighs. He was now cupping my ass cheeks and caressing my inner thighs. My body stilled as I waited to see what he was going to do next. I wanted him to touch me more intimately. Every nerve ending in my body wanted it, and yet as his fingers moved back and forth they never quite hit that spot. I moaned slightly and turned over, looking up at his face. He was looking down at me with a funny expression on his face. His soulful eyes were focused on mine, his hair was flopping over his forehead, and he had a half-smile on his face.
“You’re beautiful,” he said softly as he readjusted my towel. I just stared up at him, not knowing what to say. I wasn’t used to this more serious Jagger, and it unnerved me. His fingers moved to my collarbone and then up my neck and to my lips. He shifted beneath me, sighed, and then grinned before lifting me off of his lap. “Next time I do that, it won’t be as gentle.”
“Excuse me?” I blinked at him. “Next time?”
“Yes, next time.” He laughed. “But I should go and let you get ready for your appointment.”
“You’re leaving?” For some stupid reason I felt disappointed, but I tried to hide it as I sat up and ran my hand through my hair.
“Yeah.” He nodded and stood up. “Have dinner with me tonight.”
“I don’t know.” I bit down on my lower lip. “I need to think about everything.”
“I understand.” He nodded. “Will you at least tell me what your note meant?”
“It was a clue, letting you know that you could figure out my phone number by reading all of the notes and adding the numbers together.”
“What?” He threw his head back and laughed. “How the hell was I supposed to figure that out?”
“I don’t know. I thought you were smart.”
“Touché.” He grinned and then headed towards the door. “Well, you know my number and you know my door. Call, text, or leave me a note when you feel like going to dinner.”
“Okay, I will.” I gave him a small smile. “I’ll be seeing you.”
“I’ll be seeing you, too, Magnolia.” He lifted his hand and waved and then opened the door.
I watched as he walked out and shut the door behind him, then I sank back into the couch, tears welling up in my eyes. I was overwhelmed by everything I’d just found out and I didn’t know what to think. How was I supposed to take this information? Jagger had been the one that had told Doug and Daisy to go to his room. He’d wanted them to see us in bed together. He’d known it was me all along. It was too much to process.
I got up off of the couch and wiped my tears away. I had too much to do today to think about Jagger right now and I also wanted to know what Tate had lied about. I wondered if Jane had slept with him and found out he was married or something. As much as I would hate that to be true, a part of me hoped it was someone else’s turn for some drama. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, though, I felt guilty. I said a little prayer and asked God to forgive my sins because the way my life was going, I was on a fast train to hell.