“ So what is this little visit with your friend about Tamera? I know something is up. I've been trying to figure it out all week. What's really going on?”
“ Terrence first of all please,please don't be angry at her or me. All I did was tell Dana I wanted her to come with me today. She had no idea why I wanted her to come with me until right before you walked in. Since I know we don't have a lot of time and I couldn't say anything over the phone ...you know they be listening to our shit. Can Dana borrow eight thousand dollars for her school tuition?” Tamera quickly asked.
“ You brought your friend who I don't even know here to ask me for eight g's? Why the fuck would I give her eight grand? She's fine but that ain’t my woman. Where are her parents? Why the hell can't her family help her?”
“ Terrence don't be like that I know you have it ...,”
“ Hold the fuck up. Tamera you're my sister and I love you but don't you ever fucking presume to know what I have or don't have. As far as you know I ain't got shit but what I give you. That's all the money I have and you take it from me faithfully every month. You willing to give it back so I can pay your friends bills? My money ain’t none of your damn business. All you need to know is that I take care of you and every financial need you have. I do it because I love you not because I'm obligated to do shit for you. I'm your brother not your man or your father. So you lucky you ain’t out here having to work and go to school at the same time.” I said hotly. I didn't want to totally go off on her and call any unwanted attention to us.
Money was one topic that had been steady on my mind since I'd been locked up. It was stressful maintaining my lifestyle behind bars. Shit I had things going on that my family knew nothing about. And I wanted it like that. This stint in jail had let me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that behind prison walls was was a place I never wanted to be again. Once I was released, I was walking away from the negative lifestyle I'd been living. Slowly but surely. The mere thought that my sister was sitting on the outside counting my money for me had me seeing red.
Tamera hung her head in shame. Terrence was right. He'd always taken care of her and their mom. If it wasn't for him she'd be standing in Dana's shoes or worse. She had no right asking him to take on anyone else's burdens. When in all actuality she was one of his burdens before he was even a man. Even though he'd never say it. Right down to the fact he was sitting in prison right now for protecting her. Terrence had warned her to stay away from Cordell and she hadn't listened. When he became violent and began stalking her just like Terrence warned her he would, Terrence had to come to her rescue.
“ Look I didn't mean to go off on you. I know you're just trying to help your friend. She's coming back now. When she gets here you go over and get some snacks from the machine. Take your time so I can talk to her.” I said mulling the idea of giving a total stranger a dime. Part of the reason I'd been so quiet as of late was I'd been thinking about my life and what I wanted to do with myself once I was released. Now that Tamera would be graduating soon, I felt like a huge burden was being lifted from my shoulders. I felt like I was finally done raising a child and I didn't even have any damn kids. I was still young. At 26 it was time to live my life and I was going to do just that.
I'd provided Tamera with an education and it was sad to say, but my mother was going to be on her own. The days of drinking her life away on my dime were over. I'd paid for four rehab centers and I was tired of trying to help a woman who didn't want help. Even if she was my mother. I'd been taking care of other people like a man since I was a fifteen year old boy. I was tired of it. I had enough money tucked away to make a clean start and as soon as I was released, I was going to live my life for me. They better get ready because my pockets are about to be on lock.
“ Here you go! Damn you would think those vending machines were dispensing Ciroc and Patron' the way they were pushing and shoving to get at them! Two dollars for a damn soda? They know damn well that's highway robbery for a daggone soda!” Dana said laughing as she sat down at the table sliding the drinks in their directions.
I looked up at this Dana and was struck silent for a second. Damn this prison got me off my square for real. It ain't like I ain't been in the presence of a bad bitches before. Dana's smile alone had me feeling a way I couldn't quite put my finger on. It was like I wanted her smile to be just for me.
“ I'm going to get us some snacks.” Tamera said getting up.
“ Oh I'm good. I don't want anything to eat.” Dana said taking a sip of her soda.
“ Yes you do. Leave.” I said nodding at Tamera who quickly scurried away.
“ So Tamera says you need eight thousand for school.”
Dana sat there momentarily shocked. Damn she knew they were going to discuss the issue but she at least thought Tamera would ease them into the conversation. Ol' boy just jumped right into it. Straight no chaser. Which was to be respected but it still left me feeling like a grimy beggin' ass bitch for some reason.
“ Terrence let me apologize. I did not know this was the reason she asked me to come here with her today. I'm as surprised as you are. I would never ask you for any money. We don't even know each other. So don't even give that a thought okay. I'm here and it's just nice to meet you. Tamera talks about you all the time.” Dana said smiling.
Nice to know she's not trying to hit me up for some cash off the rip,I thought unable to take my eyes off her. She had the silkiest golden brown skin. Had me wanting to reach out and touch her ass for real. Damn,these next few months need to fly by. Got me in here lusting after a female I don't even know.
“ So if you don't get the money what are you going to do? And if you don't mind my asking,from what Tamera said y'all should be graduating together which is soon. How have you paid for your classes all along and why all of a sudden you out of cash?”
Dana sighed and rubbed her forehead. The mere mention of her situation made her head ache.
“ You know what Terrence at the end of the day, this is my education on the line. No one is responsible for it but me. It's just very hurtful to me right now because all the rest of my school bills have been paid from money I received from my mom's insurance policy when she passed away. It wasn't some huge windfall but it was enough to cover all but this last year. I do work and pay my part of the rent with my roommate but I only bring in enough to cover rent,food and the subway back and forth to class. My dad promised to pay this for me,that is until his new girlfriend. Who's young enough to be my damn older sister stepped on the scene. He didn't even give me enough time to prepare, to get student loans or anything. I could have taken care of this had I known. But he just sprung it on me with no warning.”
I looked at her intently as she spoke. I could tell she was getting emotional and trying to keep herself from crying. It did something to me on the inside. She didn't seem to be greedy or spoiled,she was working to to make it. I could respect that. Hell my own sister wasn't even trying to do any of that. Not once in all these years had Tamera even offered to get a part-time job to contribute to anything. She was in for a rude awakening though.
“ Look Dana. I don't give money to people . I just don't do loans. I never loan money to friends and only two family members of mine can get a dime out of me. You never know when you're going to get it back. You have to go looking for them all that bullshit. I just ain't the type of man who has time for that kinda shit. I'll give money to my wife though.
“ Oh I didn't know you were married. Tamera never mentioned it.” Dana's heart sank a little in her chest and she didn't know why. This man is a jailbird. There was no logical reason at all she should care whether he was married or not.
“ I'm not married. Marry me and you'll get your school money. It's a huge step but I have some things I need that maybe you can help me with. You know the whole fair exchange is no robbery type shit.”
“ Marry you? Are you serious?” Dana exclaimed her head jerking back in shock. I mean the brother is fine but it ain't that damn serious.
“ I'm very serious. I wont give my money to a stranger....but I will give it to my wife. And before you go jumping to any conclusions due to how my present situation may seem. You could have a worse husband than me. Believe that.” I said holding in a laugh as I watched her expression change from pure shock to anger. I think I detected a bit of disdain as well. Was it for me? Or my current situation. I couldn't quite call it. Shit it was crazy. But I need something out of this deal too.
“ I could do worse than a husband locked up? How so? I don't understand. What do you want from me? Look I don't know how hard up you think I am...but I ain't stuffing no dope up my pussy and hopping on a plane,train or even riding in an automobile crossing state lines for no damn body. Negro you got me fucked all the way up.”
“ I want you to be Mrs. Terrence Hill. You'll come see me,we'll talk, you know chop it up a bit when I call you. Send me some sweet letters and cards. You know all that type of shit. We'll see how it goes. I definitely ain't trying to put no dope up your pussy baby. I may try and put something else up there,but it damn sure ain't no dope. I will say this, from what I've been told it might make you feel like a crackhead. Time will tell I guess.”
I watched as Dana visibly blushed and squirmed at my last comment. I wanted to laugh but she was talking crazy so I had to shut her ass up. I can tell she ain't fuckin' no one, at least not right now or she wouldn't be so embarrassed,I thought to myself.
“ You're not funny.” Dana said running her shaking hand through her hair.
“ Come on...I'm kinda funny.” I said laughing.
“ No, you're not. Terrence I don't know what type of shit you mean. I take marriage seriously. I'm not even thinking about marriage at all but I know it's not a joke. Something to be played with. When you exchange vows with someone you're supposed to mean them. Granted my dad has lost his damn mind now but my parents had a happy loving marriage until the day my mother passed away.” Dana hissed leaning towards me over the table,her fists balled tightly.
“ You need to relax. Breath ma. We can be as serious as you like Dana. I'm locked up but you'll be taken care of. Don't you worry about that. I really can't explain it to you right now but I need a friend right now. A best-friend . My best-friend may as well be my wife. Think about it,doesn't every marriage vow apply to friendship as well?”
“ So you want to buy my friendship? I can be your friend Terrence we don't need to get married for that. Tamera asked you to loan me the money but you don't have to give that a second thought. I'll be okay. If I have to wait to graduate, that's just what I'll have to do. Nothing is going to prevent me from achieving every goal I have set for myself. ”
“ I know I don't have to do anything. This is your last semester though right? You should graduate on time. You've worked hard for it. Tamera told me about all the opportunities you have lined up for when you graduate this year....those may not be there for you if you have to wait. So this is the deal Dana. Take it or leave it. Oh and keep it between us. I don't want Tamera to know about it. All she needs to know is I lent you the money.” I said leaning back in my chair looking at her.
“ You're really pretty. I could do worse I guess. Are you all black or mixed? Are those contacts?”I asked.
“ Hell if I decide to do this, I'm the one who can't do worse. My husband is already in jail. I'm all black and no I don't wear contacts... nosy!”
I laughed “ You get asked that all the time I take it?”
“ All the time. It gets on my nerves.”
“ Sorry, I wanted to know. If you want to know something you have to ask right?” I asked laughing.
“ Are you in here messing around with men? You ain't got no boyfriend in here do you?”
“What? Hell no. Ain't no Oz shit jumping off over this way. I'm no down-low brotha I swear to you.” I said.
Dana rolled her eyes at him “ If you wanna know you have to ask...right?”
“ Oh you worried about who your man is sleeping with ? You don't want your husband bringing you home none of that dirty dick....,”
“ I don't want to lie to Tamera.” Dana said her voice slow and thoughtful.
“ It's not like I want you to lie forever. I just don't want her all in my...our business. Think about it if you need too but make sure you don't take too long. If you say yes I'll start the paperwork and you'll have to do a few things to get everything in motion.”
“This is a lot to take in Terrence. I really don't know about this. I just laid eyes on you today.” Dana said apprehensively. I mean damn...if you want to lend me the money do it but marriage? What could he stand to gain from being married to me? I've never once heard Tamera mention any money problems and if I'm not mistaken he's paying all of her and their mothers bills,as well as her tuition if I'm not mistaken?
“ Terrence you do realize I don't bring anything to the table but myself.”
“ That's all I need right now Ma. Look I know it's a lot for you to think about. If you want the money those are my terms so think about it. Tamera can tell you how we can get in contact with each other but keep in mind we wont be discussing any of this on the phone okay? They listen to these phone calls,read our letters so if you want to talk to me again,your name is already on the list. Just come see me.....I'll be here. Ya man ain’t got nowhere to go right now.” I said laughing.
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