The remainder of the visit was spent with Tamera and Terrence laughing and joking with one another. You could clearly see they shared what appeared to be a tight bond with one another. Why would he want me to keep our arrangement from Tamera? If I decided to go through with it. Tamera seemed privy to everything else concerning him. Or was she? I thought to myself.
During the drive back home Tamera and I were unusually quiet. Each of us wrapped up in our own thoughts about the visit.
Tamera was upset with herself for imposing on Terrence on her friends behalf when he already did so much. When she'd come back to the table after Terrence and Dana spoke, you could have heard a rat piss on cotton it was so quiet. Tamera began to think Terrence was mad at her before his personality returned to normal and they began laughing and joking as usual. That will be the last time I stick my neck out for someone else. My black ass ain't going to bat for no one ever again. I'm lucky he's paying all my bills right now. Hopefully I can get him to keep it up once I move to Manhattan. I need to start looking for another room-mate since Dana may not be able to move. Or maybe if I act pitiful enough,Terrence will get me a place all by myself, Tamera thought as she carefully maneuvered the icy roads during the drive back home.
I was caught up in a more complex dilemma.
Do I take a chance and marry Terrence so I can pay the remainder of my school tuition? Or risk not even being able to make the amount I need to pay the school even if I do take the semester off ?It's not like I have full-time employment anyways. Not to mention all the opportunities I'd have to pass up because I don't have my degree on time. The internship opportunities presented to me were contingent on my having a degree. One thing for sure, I'm not going to keep it from Tamera!
“ Tamera,your brother said he'd help me with my tuition.” I said carefully not sure what her reaction would be.
“ WHAT! Oh my God really? I knew he'd help. He lit into me for asking him about it but I knew he'd help.” Tamera said practically jumping in her seat,her face screwed up.
“ Terrence said he'd lend me the money if I married him. That's the only way I'm getting the money.” I added.
Tamera swerved on the road she was so stunned.
“ Be careful!” I screamed.
“ What do you mean if you marry him? Huh?” Tamera asked more confused than ever.
“That's what he said. The only way he'll lend me the money is if we're married. He said he wouldn't give money to a stranger but he'd give it to his wife. That there were things he needed from me. I also wasn't supposed to tell you about it for some reason. I had too. Who else am I supposed to talk to this about. What should I do? I mean I don't know what he wants from me out of this deal?” I said throwing my hands up in frustration.
“ Shit! I honestly don't know Dana. Now prison aside...,” Tamera said cutting her eyes at me as she quickly took her eyes off the road .
“ ...my brother ain't a bad catch. All kinds of women throw themselves at him all the time but he's super picky. He was seeing this girl Camyrn when he got locked up but she wanted way more than he did out the relationship so he ended it with her. Mind you she was ride or die. Willing to do this time with him but from what he told me, he let her know it was over. He said something about not wanting to waste her time while he was locked up especially since he wasn't feeling her like that. She was pissed. Camyrn blew my damn phone up for about four months. She was going up to see him after he told her not to and he wouldn't have the visits with her. Terrence ended up taking her name off the list after she tried it twice. I think she liked my brothers money and the lifestyle he was living more than anything.”Tamera said shrugging.
“ Why marriage though Tamera? What's the benefit for him with us being married? I don't get it?”
“ Look all I know is this....my brother may be locked up but he's not stupid by any means. Who knows? Maybe he wants to keep track of you to make sure you pay him back? I mean if you take the money you do plan on paying him back right?”
“ Of course!”
“ Well if that's the case I think you could do worse in a husband than my brother locked up or not. He's going to be out soon you know. Maybe it's just until the loan is paid back? At any rate. You have a LOT to lose if you don't take this money Dana. Everything we planned for is down the drain unless you stay on schedule! All the internships you have waiting for you are gone if you don't graduate on time. Who knows it those will be offered to you again. I'd be too embarrassed to show my face if I had to walk into Parsons and turn down that internship in Manhattan. You know if you can't take it you have to let them know in writing the paperwork says. I know Lucy Charles is dying to snag that from you! Who knows if you'll even be able to make the money by next semester? What then? It's not like you even have a full-time job to even start making what you need. If it were me I'd do it. Being my sister-in-law wouldn't be that bad would it?” Tamera said primping her lips trying to look as if she was offended.
“ Girl I don't know about all this. I'm going to visit him again. I just need to know what does he get out of us being married? I know what I get. My tuition paid. But he's not getting anything out of the deal by me being his wife. I mean not that I don't think I'll be a good wife some day, but I'd like us to be in love ! I want my husband to actually care about me. To love me....fuck to not be in jail or have a criminal record for Gods sake! Then once I pay him back I'll be a divorcee. I have to walk around saying my marriage didn't work. Then if I say it was for money, how the hell does that make me look?Ugh. The whole think just sounds so shady.” I said
“ I have no idea. Yeah take your ass back up there so y'all can straighten this out. I hope you do it though. I hate for you not to graduate on time. I think I'm going to stay all the way out of this. He's my brother and you're my friend. I already know until you two settle what you're going to do I don't want any part of this.” Tamera said looking at her quickly and turning her eyes back to the road. We drove the remainder of the way home in silence. Each of us caught up in our own thoughts about what had just transpired.
* * * *