In a weekends time, I felt like I was getting to know Terrence in ways I never had. Even having the liberty to just touch him made me feel closer to him. To hold his hands and kiss him were memories I'd carry with me until he was released. Just like I had refused to have our first kiss be on display in front of people who could care less about me...about us. We held back on completely sealing the deal as far as sex. Yes we had slipped a little the first day with the whole shower episode,hell who am I kidding? Terrence and I teased each other sexually the entire weekend. But we'd stopped ourselves before we went over the edge. I wanted him so bad I was angry with him for not giving in to me, but now I was glad he'd stuck to our original plan. Terrence insisted our first time being intimate would be in our own home and not behind the walls of Sampson State Penitentiary. I was a little shocked by that. Granted I was nervous as hell about anything happening between us, I thought for sure he'd want to. I mean what man wouldn't want sex after being locked up almost two years? I wouldn't say my little Victorias Secret stash went to waste. Terrence controlled himself but he was damn sure looking. When Sunday came we were both quiet,each of us hating to be apart now that we'd finally had the opportunity to be around each other.
I moved about the room packing up all the items I'd brought with me to make it a comfortable visit for us. I was trying to stay strong for Terrence and not break down crying but when he walked out of the bathroom in his orange prison jumpsuit I broke down. When I'd walked into this room Friday morning I had no idea that my relationship with Terrence would change so much in three days. I walked into this shabby room unsure of my feelings of the man I'd come to know through phone conversations and short Saturday visits and I was leaving completely in love.
I wanted my husband out of here in the worst way. Now that I'd gotten to be around him it was hard to imagine myself leaving without him. I was back to square one. Saturday visits with hundreds of other inmates. I didn't intend on breaking down into a pool of tears in front of Terrence but I couldn't help it.
“ I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next couple months Terrence. I don't regret this weekend but I feel like it would have been easier if I hadn't been with you like this. How do I go back to not being able touch you when I want. Have dinner with you, sleep next to you?” I asked between sobs.
“ Dana this will all be over in a less than four months just hold on a little bit longer. It could be less than that,my lawyer said there's a good chance I'll make early parole.”
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