WHEN YOU NEED TO SET THE TONE FOR APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

Dear Founder,

It’s important to set the right tone for your company from its very earliest days. Most important: Treat everyone with dignity and respect, always.

You usually know the right way to behave, but if you find yourself in an uncertain situation, picture whatever you are doing showing up on the front page of The New York Times. How would you feel about that? Better yet, how would you feel about your mother reading it? (Those were scenarios that Meg Whitman used to pose to us at eBay.) At Bain, they call it the “Sunshine Test” (as in, how would you feel if this were exposed in broad daylight?).

There’s been a rash of news lately about investors, CEOs, and people in leadership positions behaving badly. We’re all learning more and more about the sexual harassment problems in Silicon Valley, in the entertainment industry, the media, government, and more.

I’m thrilled that people are speaking up, because we need more awareness and visibility on this issue to end these ugly episodes. However, we can’t just wait for whistle-blowers. Leaders play the most significant role in ending these problems. They must examine how they can prevent abuse from happening and take a critical look at their own behaviors.

If you have not yet set the right tone, now is the time:

• Be maniacally clear about what behavior is expected in your workplace. Have guidelines on what is and isn’t acceptable and guidelines on how you hold people accountable.

• Do not promote a monoculture, such as a “bro culture”—this is antiquated and dangerous. Have a workplace that supports and celebrates diversity and makes everyone feel comfortable.

• Celebrating teams and wins is a good thing. Having validations and rewards for people is important. Yet leaders must remember their leadership roles, even when outside of the office. They can never lose control or go over the top. I know of a company that has a holiday party tradition where the CEO matches the employees “shot for shot.” That’s stupid on his part. Regardless of how smart or well-behaved you normally are, alcohol (and other substances) alters your judgment and impacts your inhibitions.

• Understand, flat out, it is never okay to apply pressure in an unwelcome way on anybody. Additionally, you must always be aware of your position before getting romantically involved. Do not ever become romantically involved with a subordinate. Remember: the greater responsibility and authority you have at the company, the less freedom you have in this regard.

• Never do anything unethical or illegal. Enough said.

• Understand that perception is reality. We live in a world of extreme transparency and winnowed privacy. There are cameras everywhere. Anything can be videoed. Bad behavior is likely to be captured and published. Do not put yourself in any inappropriate or compromising situation. If you are in a position of power, it does not matter if you didn’t “do” anything. Even the appearance of doing something will be harmful.

• Remember to stay human. It’s easy to see when something is over the line and wrong, but there are more gray and nuanced issues.

Is it ever okay to hug someone at work? I think so—as long as it is welcome.

What about saying, “you guys”? I used to say that all the time and I would say it meaning to encompass everyone. Now, that feels wrong and I’m working on migrating to a different term, like “team” or “people” or “y’all.” (I am from Florida).

Asking someone out for a drink alone? (Probably not okay if they work for you.)

Leaders are held to higher standards. The higher you go, the more obligated you are to set an example. Do the right thing.

All the best,

Maynard