Dear Founder,
“I can’t take a risk because I have a mortgage to pay.”
“I can’t accept my dream job because I’d have to move.”
“I can’t work after-hours because my spouse would be mad at me.”
I hear these statements—these self-imposed limits—every day. As humans, we often have too pessimistic a view on what is possible, and we let the world convince us we can’t do something, instead of thinking, How can I?
Well, most of the time we are wrong. Remember, common sense once knew the world was flat, and that travel by horse was the fastest speed man could go. When I was younger, I wholeheartedly believed that I was going to die at age forty-seven because my dad did.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
When you create limits that don’t really exist, you are justifying where you are. And where you are is never as great as where you could be. By setting limits you’re effectively deciding not to reach for more. Therefore, you must push through the limits that you’re imposing on yourself.
But how?
Take a pause. Find out where the limits stem from and why you’re reinforcing them. Oftentimes, we have our own big beliefs that we never question. When my parents first married, my father wanted to become a real estate appraiser. However, this job required special training and certification and he thought that being married and having kids would make it too difficult. My mom helped him see that this goal and family life weren’t incompatible. “Why set limits?” she asked. “We can do this.” They moved to Gainesville, Florida, he enrolled in a program, and he earned his certification.
Recognize that you are holding yourself back. Yes, the world tries to hold us back at times, but the most constraining limits you have are the ones you put on yourself. It’s easy to blame society, the government, the economy, your health, or your family—and all of these can be challenging or completely debilitating—but generally we put more limits on ourselves than any outside force ever can. Instead of blaming others for setbacks, accept accountability and understand that you are the one who is responsible for chasing—and catching—your dreams.
Make choices carefully. Every choice comes with trade-offs; it’s up to you to decide if they’re worth it. Once I started advancing in my career, I knew that I didn’t have the educational chops that my peers had. That made me feel inferior in some ways, and at one point, when I was already a CIO, I thought about going to back to school to get an MBA. At the time, I was the sole provider for four kids, so this decision carried tremendous consequences for my family. I went to some friends and mentors for advice, and I learned a lot about decision-making—and about myself. My friend Andy Ludwick had a great career and a Harvard MBA, and his guidance surprised me. “Maynard, this would come at a huge opportunity cost, and you are in your prime earning years,” he said. “Most people go back to school to learn how to do stuff you are already doing, and they go for the network, which you already have. This is not worth the cost for you.” That was very freeing. I had always been ashamed to talk about my background for fear of being judged, which was why I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to compensate for what I thought I was lacking. The discussion with Andy made me realize that it was all in my head—I wasn’t really lacking what I needed to know—and then I realized that my story also had value. My background and its lack of pedigree—once I leaned into it—turned out to be inspirational to others. It showed the opportunity we all have to achieve, regardless of where we come from.
Play out all of the options and know where they lead. When I was in my late twenties I was starting to get some traction in my career, but I was still exploring different paths and trying to see where they would take me. I loved watching people lead and knew I wanted to be a manager. I was enamored with the art of HR and coaching, but I was also very drawn to technology. I was working in security—even though I loved and longed for the managing people piece—but there were lots of opportunities in tech and I didn’t hold myself back from participating. There were myriad of things people didn’t want to do, including getting called into work in the middle of the night, or working weekends. I volunteered, because I was eager to prove myself, and had no illusions that any task was beneath me. I got my first management job, which I coveted and others didn’t because it required working two Saturdays a month and doing payroll rather than managing professionals. A year into that role, I began to manage professional IT workers, and a year after that, IBM promoted me to a middle-management role. Instead of imposing limits on myself by declaring, “I won’t work weekends” or “I only want to work on exciting things,” I remained open to all options and saw them as paths to the potential I was chasing.
If there is a recipe for success, I believe that it is this: Get out of defense mode and go into wonder mode. Every time you hear yourself say, “I can’t,” dive in and ask, “Why? What are the reasons I can’t?” Upon introspection, you might realize that many of the things you feel are holding you back, exist nowhere but in your head.
All of us possess a potential that is boundless. Every time you push against it, it expands. I can’t wait to see how far you go.
All the best,
Maynard