Nick was no stranger to adrenaline drop—that post-duty hum in his muscles and brain, a low-level restlessness that he usually dealt with by a punishing workout. He’d dealt with other armed suspects over the years, many a damn sight smarter than a drug-addled kid who didn’t even know to take the safety off or how to hold the thing. But no other confrontation had had Teddy there, and Nick was left with a confusing jumble of emotions—anger and frustration that Teddy hadn’t listened to him mingling with sheer relief that he’d been able to defuse the situation.
And through it all, there was a surreal sense of being in a strange land—this wasn’t some base he was stationed at, but a town, one that kept right on spinning even with word of the near-robbery spreading. These people weren’t going to be deterred from their holiday cheer, and the lights went on, right on schedule. Afterward, people lined up for pictures with Santa and the elf, several people slipping Teddy donations to apply to the giving tree or the food pantry. Although paler than usual, Teddy dutifully took notes and smiled for pictures.
And the whole time, Nick and his adrenaline were counting down until he could get Teddy alone. But whether he was going to shake him or fuck him remained to be seen.
“Man, that was impressive, Saint Nick.” Charlie, Teddy’s brother, came up, his flock of little boys in tow. “Our family sure is lucky to have you around. Not sure how we can repay you.”
“It’s nothing.” Nick waved the praise away. “Just using my training. And no need to thank me. Just tell me my truck’s ready to go.”
Charlie made a pained face. “Part was delayed, and my best alignment guy was out sick today. But we’re on track to have it back tomorrow morning—working some weekend hours to get caught up. Do you need me to run you back to the base tonight? I can drive the truck out tomorrow probably.”
“No.” Teddy finished with the family he’d been talking with and turned toward his brother, answering before Nick could. “I’ve got him covered.”
Charlie’s eyebrows went up, and Nick thought he was for sure going to be on the receiving end of some big brother ire, but apparently some lengthy unspoken brother-to-brother communication was happening because Teddy stared him down until Charlie sighed and rolled his eyes.
“I’ll try to have the truck done by noon. You sure you don’t need me to run it out to the base?”
Nick scratched his itchy fake beard. Now it was his turn to be on the receiving end of a Teddy glare. He should take Charlie up on the offer, extradite himself from the weird pull Teddy had over him. But something had shifted last night and again today, and he knew he wasn’t letting Teddy go before he left the area for good. Big brother disapproval or not, he was tossing his lot in with Teddy.
“Think I’m good,” he said firmly, trying to end further inquiry as to his exact plans—he might be okay with keeping things going with Teddy, but he still didn’t need to share their business with everyone in earshot.
“Okay. Well, thanks again for saving the day.” Charlie clapped him on the shoulder before leading his boys and pregnant wife away.
“Man, I cannot wait to be home and out of this costume.” Heading to the city hall doors, Teddy showed rare weariness as he rubbed his neck. “We are going back to my place, right?”
“I kind of need a change of clothes from my apartment,” Nick hedged. He was still thrumming with adrenaline, and his body had yet to make up its mind what exactly he was going to do with Teddy once they were back at his car, which was an icy trek back down Main Street to the resource center.
While trodding down the sidewalk, Teddy made the exact same face his brother had when asked about the car. “I do laundry at my parents’ house, or I’d say we could just toss your clothes on at my place. Okay, okay, I guess we can go to yours.”
“Let me drive?” Hell, Nick would carry him back to the car if he thought Teddy would let him get away with it. Poor guy looked so wrung out that it was tough for Nick to keep reminding himself that he was frustrated with him for not listening. “You’re tired. You can shut your eyes on the drive, then rest at my place.”
“Yeah?” Teddy brightened a little. “You up for a sleepover? I’ve got spare clothes in the car—after grocery shopping in the elf costume last weekend, I threw extra stuff in the car.”
“You? Tired of a costume?” Nick feigned disbelief as they neared Teddy’s car. “Would have thought you loved prancing around.”
“I do it all for the center.” Teddy gave a dramatic sigh and unlocked the car. He surprised Nick by tossing him the keys and heading to the passenger side. “Okay. You win. You can drive, but just for tonight. And I’m sleeping over. I’ll drive you back to your truck in the morning, document your fond reunion.”
“Ha.” Nick moved the seat back to the farthest position before starting the Subaru. After tossing his beard and wig into the backseat, he put the heater on full blast, mainly for Teddy who still looked a bit pale. “Now, you just tell me how to get back to the road to base, then you can rest.”
He followed Teddy’s mumbled directions, and by the time they reached the rural highway that led back to base, Teddy was half-asleep and snoring before they even passed the first mile marker. Funny enough, the calm in the car did little for Nick’s nerves, which were still clanging around, making him hunger for his weights.
But as he pulled into his apartment complex, a different, more complicated hunger took over. He was half-tempted to carry Teddy into his place but had a feeling Teddy would noisily object to such treatment. Instead, he lightly shook Teddy’s shoulder.
“We’re here,” he said, voice as soft as he could manage. He led Teddy to the apartment, stopping at the door to take off their snow-crusted boots. He knelt to help Teddy, but he shoved at Nick’s shoulder.
“Tired. Not that fragile,” Teddy groaned, bending to yank off his boots. Then he all but knocked the wind out of Nick, shoving him back against the door the moment it closed behind them. “And pissed. Kept having weird dreams all about having to leave you behind back there. That was pretty much the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” He shoved at Nick’s chest. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, playing hero.”
“Me? Scare you?” Nick deftly reversed their positions, crowding Teddy against the entryway wall, giving him little choice but to grab Nick’s shoulders as he hefted him up for the punishing kiss he’d waited two hours to deliver. “You’re the one who didn’t listen.”
“I know the Jager family.” Teddy sighed and shook his head. “Never thought Dave would be capable of that. And I still think I could have probably talked him down if you hadn’t been so intent on playing hero and almost getting yourself shot.”
“I am trained for this. I’ve got almost thirty years of experience with situations like that one—and all the possible outcomes from decent to grisly. I knew what risks I was taking, and they were very calculated ones. Trust me.”
“Not sure I want to.” Teddy’s tone was petulant, but his eyes were dark and troubled, making Nick kiss him again, softer this time.
“Hate that you were scared. Hate that you were there,” he admitted before giving him another kiss, this one trying to tell Teddy how much he didn’t want anything to happen to him without having to say the words. Hell, Nick wasn’t even sure he had words for this weird ball of emotion. All he knew was that he did not want to care for Teddy like this, hated all this desperation churning in his chest. So he put all that into his kiss, devouring Teddy’s mouth as if his life depended on it. All that rogue adrenaline seemed to head right for his cock, which was suddenly rock hard and painful. He ground against Teddy, relishing his little moans and gasps.
“Nick. Nick,” Teddy panted against his lips and wrapped his legs tight around Nick’s waist. “Take me to your bed.”
“Bed, yeah.” The urge to screw Teddy right against the wall was damn near overwhelming, but so was the desire to get out of this stupid costume before he came in his fuzzy pants. He managed to carry Teddy down the short hall, depositing him on his queen-size bed. “Strip. Now.”
With unsteady hands he removed his own coat and costume. Naked now, Teddy rustled around in his coat before coming up with his wallet with a triumphant chortle. He extracted a condom and held it up.
“If you’ve got lube, we’re in business.”
“Guess that answers the question of what you’re up for.” Nick had to laugh at Teddy’s eagerness, even as the laugh sounded a bit creaky to his ears. “I’ve got lube.”
Nick finished undressing then fished around his bedside drawer for the bottle of lube he mainly used for jerking off. Teddy was his first bedroom company since moving to this duty station, and he was trying hard not to dwell on how damn natural it felt, having him there. He was also trying not to simply jump on Teddy and scarf him down like a starving animal. To that end, he gently set the lube on the bed then settled himself next to Teddy, slowly pulling him in for a cautious kiss.
But Teddy was having none of that, yanking at Nick’s shoulders, and making little impatient growls that went straight to Nick’s cock. Unable to resist, Nick hauled him closer, kissing him as ravenously as he dared, but when he would have rolled to his back, taking Teddy with him, Teddy stopped him with another tug in the opposite direction.
“No. Want you on top. Please.” It was only then that Nick noticed the tremble in Teddy’s hand and the desperate glint in his too-bright eyes. “Just…block everything out. Please?”
“Okay.” No way could Nick refuse that, but he was careful as he loomed over Teddy, keeping his weight on his forearms. Always conscious of his size, he usually preferred various positions with the other guy on top, especially with a smaller partner, simply so that he didn’t have to worry about hurting someone. But if this was what Teddy wanted—needed—then Nick would do his best to give it to him. Something tender and dangerous unfurled in his chest, something deeper than just the urge to bring Teddy’s usual easy demeanor back, something that threatened to overwhelm Nick even more than his racing adrenaline.
Teddy clung to him, wrapping his legs around Nick, making their bare cocks slide against each other.
“Fuck me,” he demanded when Nick would have been fine lingering like this. The desperate kisses and warm skin were more than enough for him as he tried to make sense of his jangling nerves, but Teddy seemed driven by something Nick couldn’t name. Teddy fumbled for the lube, but Nick took it from him.
“Don’t need prep,” Teddy insisted. “Just go.”
“Okay.” Sitting back on his heels, Nick agreed even as he didn’t speed up his actions. He could tell that adrenaline was a big factor here—his and Teddy’s both—but the least he could do was hold back enough that no one got hurt. He rolled on the condom and lubed himself up before rubbing Teddy’s rim with slick fingers, being overly generous with the lube. He was okay with not teasing and playing overly long, even though those were some of his favorite things, but he wasn’t going to skimp on taking care of Teddy, no matter how much his own body was screaming to just pound away.
To that end, he eased his cockhead against Teddy’s hole, forcing himself to be gentle and slow, wait for him to relax.
“How the fuck are you so calm?” Teddy reached over his head, grabbing the headboard, as he pushed back against Nick’s cock.
“Practice,” Nick admitted, trying not to groan from how damn good Teddy felt—tight and hot and urgent. “It’s just adrenaline. You can ride the wave without hurting yourself.”
“Fuck adrenaline. Feels like I fell through the ice. Just wanna get warm and feel.” Teddy rocked his hips, tempting Nick to slide forward, shallow little thrusts into that impossibly tight heat.
“I got you.” Almost bending Teddy in half, he leaned forward to claim his mouth. God, but how he wanted to be everything Teddy needed, wanted to be the thing that warmed him.
“Come on, come on, come on,” Teddy chanted as Nick went deeper, using the leverage of the position while trying not to hurt him. Didn’t matter how much Teddy urged, Nick only wanted to give, not take.
“Slow, slow,” he muttered, as much to himself as Teddy, trying to keep an even tempo.
“Fuck slow. Need it.” Teddy’s body bucked. “Come on, Saint Nick, fuck me.”
“You want this?” Despite his resolve, the nickname and the goading were starting to get to him, making him crazed, the need to go hard building and building.
“Fuck yeah.” Teddy’s arms flexed, using his grip on the headboard to push back at Nick, meet him thrust for thrust. He sat back again, holding Teddy’s ass in his hands, finding the angle that had them both moaning.
“Want it hard? Think you can handle that?” Millimeter by millimeter, Nick’s control was slipping and hell if he could be bothered to grab it back. Felt too damn good, going crazy right alongside Teddy, who had turned his head to moan into the pillow. Sexy as fuck.
“Want it. Please.” Teddy’s voice was muffled, but Nick could still hear the strain, and something about that waver made Nick finally snap, thrusting hard and deep.
“Yes.” Teddy’s next moan sounded like it was pulled from his toes, a low, shuddery thing. He untangled his hands from the headboard and reached for his cock. Too close to coming to play power games, Nick didn’t stop him.
“That’s it. Stroke that cock. Show me how much you want this,” he demanded, voice little more than a growl.
“So much. God. F—” Teddy’s voice gave way to a series of broken moans. Nick needed his mouth more than he needed his control, and pushing Teddy’s legs back, he bent forward for a sloppy kiss. That wasn’t enough, so he hauled Teddy up into his lap, fucking up into him with abandon, claiming his mouth. He used his arms to surround him, holding him tight even as he moved them both closer to the edge.
“Close. Hold me.” Teddy panted against Nick’s lips, hand still moving frantically between them. “Wanna come.”
“Do it.” Nick tightened his grip on Teddy as he fucked harder, closer to his orgasm than he wanted to admit. As soon as Teddy—
“Oh fuck.” Voice broken, Teddy whimpered and shuddered, slick fluid spurting between them, coating Nick’s stomach. And that was it, no more control, not even a shred as Nick thrust artlessly, seeking his own climax, which slammed into him, the force of a hurricane capsizing a hapless boat. How foolish he’d been to think he could outrun this, thinking he could keep control, avoid this all-consuming want and need that swamped his every sense.
Arms turning to jelly, he handled the condom, then collapsed next to Teddy on the bed, gathering him close.
“You okay?” He smoothed Teddy’s curls back from his eyes.
“Am now.” Teddy yawned and burrowed into Nick’s chest. “Don’t let go, m’kay?”
“I won’t.” Nick’s chest ached with the knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to keep Teddy safe forever, but in that moment, all he wanted was to hold on, keep Teddy right here, as long as he wanted to stay.