I love you. The whole trek back to Mineral Spirits, Nick had tried hard to not hope for too much, not to dream of words that might take months or years to earn, to focus on the mission objective of securing a second chance with Teddy, telling him in cautious, well-measured tones that he wanted a future together. All that had gone out the window, however, the minute his lips had touched Teddy’s.
All day as he made his way north he’d been damn cold—tiny, ill-heated planes, rental car with a heater inadequate to the impending snowstorm, drafty ice rink—and then there was Teddy, as welcoming as a fire in the middle of the blizzard that was his life, scorching through all Nick’s careful plans. And it had been all Nick could do to restrain himself from finding some convenient dark corner at the ice complex, to wait until they were back here, in this place where he’d lost his head and heart weeks ago.
“Nick.” Teddy prodded his chest. “Say something. I mean, you don’t have to say it back, but say something.”
“Sorry.” Nick buried his hand in Teddy’s soft curls, bringing his head close enough to kiss again. “Just trying to wrap my mind around this. You were going to come to Florida? For real?”
“For real.” Teddy’s eyes were earnest and full of emotion as he gazed up at Nick. “I want this. Want you. Want it to work out between us. And if Florida’s where you need to be, then I guess I’m about to get a frequent flyer card. My aunt and uncle will be glad for the company at least.”
“But this is your home. Hell, Teddy, you pretty much are Mineral Spirits. You can’t give this up.”
“I don’t take risks.” Teddy looked away. “I play it safe. Whether it’s because we lost Fred or because I just don’t have that kind of courage—”
“You do too have courage,” Nick protested. “You’re one of the bravest people I know, walking around with your big, beautiful heart out. I’m in awe of you.”
“It’s funny. Caring about people has always come easily to me, but truly putting myself out there for rejection…that’s harder.”
“I’m not going to reject you.” That much Nick could promise.
“Thanks.” Teddy offered him a tentative smile. “But anyway, my point is that yeah, Mineral Spirits is my home, but it’s also my security blanket. And I’m not going to let my attachment to the area stand in the way of a future with the man I love.”
Brave. He was so damn brave. How could he ever think himself lacking in courage? Nick held him tighter. “But I love your attachment to the area. It’s part of you. And I’m not going to ask you to give that up. That you were willing…” He had to swallow hard to get the rest of the words out. “That you were going to come…that means everything to me. Everything.”
“But?” Teddy sounded like he was expecting a swift kick.
“But nothing. I want a future with you too. And you’re not the only one willing to compromise. This area needs you. And maybe…” He took a deep breath. “Maybe it needs me too. Or rather, maybe I need it too. Need you. Need this place.”
“Really?” Teddy kissed his neck. “But… Florida. Your boat dream?”
“Was a dream.” Nick shrugged. “But Florida doesn’t need me. Adams will be fine without me. He said as much. I’d like to go back, help him until he can find someone else, maybe invest in the business still, but I think… I think this area needs me. Needs a cop like me.”
“Thought you were done with law enforcement?” Teddy’s voice was lighter now. “Washed up, I think you said once.”
“Can’t take the cop out of me. I see that now. I wasn’t going to be happy on a boat. Not long-term. Wasn’t going to be happy without you.”
“You could have me and the boat. If you really needed that—”
“I don’t. I’ve already called the station about that job opening. And even if I don’t get that job, there will be another here. I feel I owe it to myself—to us—to give this a real shot with you. And neither of us wants to do long-distance.”
“I would.” Still with the earnest eyes, Teddy hugged him back. “I know Micah soured you on the concept, but I believe in us. The zip code is irrelevant. We can work it out.”
Now it was Nick’s turn to look away. “I think I held myself back from Micah. Never fully invested. Figured I was better off alone, then when he proved me right, it was only too easy to move on. But I don’t want to do that anymore. Don’t want to be alone any longer. And I don’t just mean you—I mean the whole idea of community, putting down roots. I’ve never let myself do that.”
“And you want to?” God, the hope in Teddy’s voice was going to slay Nick.
“I do.” Nick let himself kiss Teddy again in earnest now. All this talk was hard, but kissing, kissing was easy, and it was easier to say some things with his body, to let his lips and hands speak for him.
“Um…” Teddy broke away from him, breathing hard. “No offense to your heat-generating capabilities, but I think I better see to the heat before we end up having round two here on this freezing floor.”
“Oh, fine, be the adult.” Nick had to laugh. “Can I take you to bed after?”
“You can take me anywhere,” Teddy said fervently. “I mean it, Nick. I’m not some delicate snowflake who can only be in the North Country. If you need your beach and water time, I’m here for that.”
“I may take you up on that.” Nick helped him off the floor, followed him as he adjusted the heat, checked his taps to make sure the pipes hadn’t frozen. “I’d like you to meet Adams. And I’m never going to turn down some good deep-sea fishing. And I want to see you in the sun.”
“Never say you’re not a poet.” Teddy grinned at him as he led the way up to the bedroom. “And don’t tell me that we should just go to sleep.”
“Nope.” Nick pulled his own shirt off and started on his pants. “Waited too long for you.”
And he meant that on every level. Forty-six years he’d waited for a Teddy to be in his life, to find this sense of belonging and connection, and now that he’d found it, he wasn’t going to let it go. He might have been denser than pine, figuring out what this was, what he needed and wanted, but now that he had it, he was going to make the most of every moment.
“Good.” Naked now, Teddy scrambled onto the bed, pouncing on Nick the second he joined him under the covers. “I’ve waited too. Not going to let you go.”
“You’re stuck with me.” Nick gave him what he was sure was a dopey grin. He’d worried for weeks about their differences—size, age, temperament, all of it. But what separation had shown him was none of those things truly mattered, and indeed, all were things he truly loved about Teddy. He loved that Teddy was a sunny optimist to his more pragmatic side, loved the freshness that Teddy brought to Nick’s life while still being one of the steadiest, most reliable people Nick had ever met.
“What do you want?” Teddy whispered as he stretched out on top of Nick, mouth millimeters from his.
“This.” Nick captured his lips, kissing him deeply. “You.”
“You’ve got me.” Teddy squirmed against him in a way that made Nick groan. “I meant—”
“I know what you meant.” Nick gave him another sound kiss. “And I want it like this. Just like the first time.”
That first time, when they’d made out, he’d been blindsided by the emotion, but now he welcomed it, chased meaning with every kiss and every touch, rocking their bodies together as they made out in leisurely fashion. It felt so damn right, being back in this bed, with this man. How had he ever thought he could live without this? Without Teddy? It was enough to make his sinuses burn, to make him kiss Teddy that much harder.
“I do,” he whispered against Teddy’s kiss-swollen lips. “You were right. I do love you too. Scares me like crazy. Not sure what to do with all this…feeling. But I’m here. Loving you back. I’m probably going to screw it up—”
“We both will.” Teddy smiled down at him. “And I’m scared too. But I’d rather be scared with you. Figuring this out together.”
“I’m so damn lucky.” Nick pulled him down for another kiss, mainly so Teddy wouldn’t see the emotion in his eyes. He’d given Teddy his heart weeks ago, brain finally catching up to that fact, and he felt stripped bare, like he’d rolled in the surf, and it was almost too much to bear.
But bear he would. Because he had Teddy. And that was everything.
As they moved together, he pressed Teddy to him, letting their hard cocks grind together as gradually their movements became more urgent. Usually he’d need some slick friction to get there, need one of their hands to bring him to the brink, but the emotion of the past hour carried him every bit as much as their grinding, heart needing release right along with his cock. And when Teddy started gasping and whimpering, Nick simply let it happen, let it wash over him, stopped fighting it. He was done fighting this thing between them. Instead, now was the time for celebration, for joy, for laughing with the force of his orgasm.
Teddy’s body shuddered as he too came, hot fluid mingling with Nick’s release. Soon they’d need to do something about the mess, but right then, all Nick wanted to do was hold his man, believe in second chances. Believe in forgiveness—including that which he could give himself. Believe in love. Believe that the future—whatever it brought—would be worth any sacrifice. Believe in them, in the magic they made together.
And in that instant, Nick shed all the plans he’d carried around for so long. He’d believe in Teddy. Believe in them. Believe in their ability to make that future. And he’d welcome the surprise of figuring out where they went from here.