“So I was thinking I could work Thursday, maybe let one of the young guys be home with family,” Nick said to Commander Grace.
“That’s hardly necessary.” She barely glanced up from the stack of paperwork on her desk. “With Sergeant Major Lindsay coming back and two unmarried platoon sergeants, we’re more than covered. You take all the leave you want this next month, especially if it helps you do the Santa volunteering. Friday’s the tree lighting, right? We’ll be fine seeing you Monday morning. I can’t tell you how much Wallace and I both appreciate you taking that over.”
“It’s no problem.” Using decades of experience, Nick forced his face to remain calm and professional, even though inside he was chafing at the reminder that his time here was drawing to a close. He’d been assigned to Fort End because Sergeant Major Lindsay needed to take medical leave and their dates lined up. But now she was working her way back to full duty and he was superfluous to the battalion.
For years he’d been essential—vital even—to his battalion. He’d been one of those unmarried platoon sergeants not long ago, taking extra shifts, investing in the men under him, making certain his unit functioned like one of those models he’d liked growing up, each part perfectly placed and perfectly rotating. Before that, he’d worked every holiday as a matter of course, doing his duty, getting in line for advancement, knowing that his presence was needed.
And now it wasn’t.
“Take all the leave you want” was hardly what Nick wanted to hear. What he wanted was a firm reason to tell Teddy and Charlie why he couldn’t do Thanksgiving dinner. He’d talked to Charlie twice already, each update on his truck more dire than the last. But at least it was salvageable and not a total loss.
“I know you don’t have family in the area,” Commander Grace continued with a warm smile. “Do you have somewhere to go Thursday? The base mess hall always does a nice meal for all the soldiers stationed here. I’d invite you to ours, but with Wallace still in the hospital, it’s going to be a small one. The kids and I are planning to go to a restaurant in Syracuse after visiting him. First time not making a turkey in years.”
“I’ll be fine,” Nick said gruffly. “That charity director in Mineral Springs invited me to his family, but I’ll probably just stay on base.”
“Teddy?” Commander Grace’s face transformed, becoming more animated. “Oh, you must go! The MacNally family is so much fun. You’ll have a lovely time.”
“We’ll see.” Nick had never discussed his personal life with her and saw no reason to start now, but she had the same matchmaking glint in her eyes as Rhonda had on Saturday. He knew Commander Grace wouldn’t care that he was gay—she was a huge fan of Sergeant Major Lindsay, who was married to a woman, but Nick also wasn’t about to go confessing to sleeping with Teddy to her either.
“Do go,” she urged. “Wallace and I just love that whole family. You’ll be very welcome, and I know Teddy is grateful to have a stand-in for Wallace. The suit fit okay?”
“It was fine,” he lied, most certainly not going to share the pants-splitting story with her. “If we’re done here, I’ll get back to those reports.”
“Yes, we are. And don’t stay late,” she admonished. Nick had been planning on doing exactly that, but he dutifully left at the close of his scheduled shift, bundling up before the short, frigid walk to his apartment complex. The wind beat against his face. Maybe his department didn’t need him, but Adams did. And his operation didn’t involve freezing his unmentionables off. Just a month. A month more of snow and then he’d be on a boat…
Buzz. His new phone went off right as he was taking off his boots by the door. It was his sister, who was probably replying to a text he’d sent earlier.
“Nicky! You’re sending gifts?” Stacey’s voice rang with the slight Southern accent that she seemed to have adopted in adulthood to try to fit in in her adopted state.
“Uh. Yeah. Just some toys. I listed them out—”
“You never send gifts. Always the cards, even when you lived close. Which we appreciate. What’s up?” For a moment she sounded like the meddling sister she’d been, once upon a time. Before Jacob. Before their world fell apart. Before they spent years drifting.
“Well, I am stopping by on my way to Florida. Just thought it might be nice. But I can send the cards too, if that helps.”
“That’s sweet of you, but we’re doing fine on funds. But seriously, Nicky, if you were straight, I’d be asking you who the new girl is, taking you shopping and making you all presentable for nice company. So…who is he?”
“He? There is no he.” Nick squashed the image of Teddy that popped up into his brain. “Just a…friend. Someone good with kids. That’s all.”
“Well, tell this friend thank you. And don’t let them get away!” Stacy laughed, then got serious. “I’m glad you’re stopping by. I’m sure the girls will be thrilled to see you come Christmas morning.”
“It’s Christmas. They’re kids. Of course they’ll be excited. But if you feel like making that ham you did last year when I come, I won’t complain.”
“We loved having you. And this year, we’ll have an extra guest…” Her voice was light, but the nervous quaver gave her away.
“F—no. You’re having her?”
“Mom’s in a stable place now, Nicky. You’ll see. This last rehab place was so good for her. And she’s with a wonderful guy—older gentleman in his eighties who does the twelve steps too. He’s been sober thirty years now, so he’s such a great influence.”
“Stacey.” Nick rubbed his head and slumped into his recliner. “It won’t last.”
“It will,” she said, stubbornly. “I believe she’s really changed this time. People can change. I’m living proof of that.”
“I know you are.” Nick didn’t have to work hard to remember her wild, rebellious youth. There had been a bunch of years when he’d been certain she was following their mother’s lead and drinking her life away, but then she met Adam and found AA and now she’d been sober fifteen years or so. But stories like hers were rare. More common were stories like their mother who had somehow reached seventy despite years and years of relapses and aborted attempts at sobriety. Nick had long since accepted her as being a lost cause, but he hated the hope in Stacey’s voice.
“She wants to see you. Make amends—”
“She’s done that. Last four rehab places. Or is it five now?” Nick pinched the bridge of his nose. “She writes really pretty apology letters. I’ve even read them. But, Stacey, I’m not sure I’m up for some big reunion scene. I just wanted to stop by on my way south, see you and the kids.”
“Well, she’s staying through New Year.” Stacey always did have a stubborn streak to her, and Nick could easily picture her standing in her kitchen, one hand on her hip. “We’ll have dinner with you and it’ll be nice. You’ll see.”
Nice was overselling it greatly. Nick had nothing in common with her wealthy Southern corporate lawyer husband, wasn’t sure what to make of the two quiet nieces, and even on a good visit, he never felt quite at home in their stuffy house.
“Say you’re still coming,” Stacey prodded.
“We’ll see,” Nick said at last. “I’ll mail the presents next week, okay?”
“Okay.” She sounded so dejected that Nick almost promised that he would make up with their mother, but couldn’t bring himself to lie to her. “Call again on Thanksgiving?”
“I’ll try. I might be busy.” It was ironic, him trying to get out of Teddy’s family thing not an hour earlier and now using it as an excuse to dodge Stacey.
“Your friend?” Stacey’s voice was oddly hopeful. “Have fun.”
“Will do.” Nick ended the call with her, not liking the sour feeling in his empty stomach at the thought of seeing his mother again. Rather than go into the kitchen and make himself some dinner, he leaned back and shut his eyes, shut the whole—
Buzz. He almost ignored the incoming call, sure it was Stacey calling back, but it was Teddy. Who also warranted ignoring and didn’t deserve Nick’s bleak mood, but something inside him made him hit Talk.
“Nick!” Teddy was a cheerful change from Stacey’s tentative overtures and false accent. And it was odd how he felt eons removed from “Nicky” when Stacey used the nickname, but he was warming up more and more to Teddy’s use of Nick. “I just wanted to see what time to pick you up.”
“Is my truck gonna be ready? Your brother said they’re waiting on a part.”
“They are…” Teddy sounded exactly like his brother had deciding how to spin bad news. “But there’s a chance it’ll be ready. And you’re still invited to Thanksgiving.”
“You really like the holidays, don’t you?” Nick sank farther into his recliner, trying to picture growing up a MacNally.
“Oh yeah. We all do. It’s my favorite time of the year. Have you ever had a big family Thanksgiving before?” Teddy’s voice was surprisingly gentle. “It’s okay if you haven’t. I know some people aren’t as lucky…”
“Never had a big family,” Nick admitted. “Both my parents were only kids, and Dad moved to Phoenix for work, away from other family. But yeah, Mom would make a turkey, maybe some pumpkin pie. But that was before…”
“Before?”
Maybe it was the fact that he’d just hung up with Stacey, but for once he didn’t dodge the question. “I had a younger brother. Jacob. He died when I was nine. Drowned. That’s the last good Thanksgiving I remember, but my sister, Stacey, she tries for her kids these days.”
Teddy was quiet so long that Nick almost checked the signal. “Oh wow. I lost a brother too. Oldest in the family. We don’t talk about him much, but he moved away to Los Angles after high school. He died in a motorcycle accident a year later. I was still a kid when he left.”
“And it didn’t tear your folks apart?”
“No. I think having each other and the rest of us is the only thing that kept them going. Drew us all closer together, really. It’s part of why I’ve always been reluctant to leave the area. My folks have already lost one kid.”
“That’s not how it went in my family.” Nick’s voice was bitter and rough. “Folks split apart. Mom started drinking. Dad worked himself into an early grave. Stacey took up partying soon as she hit her teens.”
“Leaving you all alone,” Teddy guessed accurately. “Oh, Nick. I’m so sorry.”
“I got through it.” Nick didn’t have much use for pity.
“Admirably so. But still, I know what it’s like to lose a sibling, and someone should have been there for you.”
“It was what it was.” Nick had often thought the same during long, lonely nights as a preteen, but then he’d grown up, realized that the only person worth relying on was himself and tried not to look backward at who he’d been before Jacob’s death.
“Come to Thanksgiving,” Teddy urged. “We can’t… I know we’re not your family, and we can’t make up for the years you didn’t have a holiday, but come. Even if just to watch whatever game is on with Charlie. He still misses Fred terribly, even if he doesn’t say it. Another guy to bet with who actually understands football would be nice.”
“Does everyone bring a dish?” Nick hedged, resolve wavering, close to giving in for reasons he didn’t understand, even if this wasn’t a surefire ticket to getting his truck back.
“There will be so much food that no one will notice if you come empty-handed. Some of the single cousins just bring soda or tea, so you can do that if you want. I’m bringing salad—bagged spinach, some cranberries and walnuts, and bottled dressing. Easy peasy.”
“Easy peasy?” Nick found himself laughing again at Teddy’s way with words and laughing felt too damn good after the seriousness with Stacey and then telling Teddy about Jacob.
“Yup. No one will care if you can’t cook—”
“I can cook.” Nick took offense. “I’m forty-six. I figured out how to feed myself several duty stations ago. I’m just asking what might be welcome. Been a while since I did a casserole, but one year at Stacey’s she had mac-and-cheese. Kids loved it.”
“You can do homemade mac-and-cheese? My mom may offer me to you along with their best cow and a stack of quilts if you show up with that.”
Nick laughed again, chest feeling like he’d cleared it of cobwebs. “Please don’t tell her I already had the milk, okay?”
“That can be our little secret,” Teddy said conspiratorially. “Now do you want me to pick you up tomorrow night? You could make the casserole here…”
“Thursday morning will be fine.” Nick might be giving in on Thanksgiving, but he wasn’t going to slip up and sleep with Teddy again to boot, no matter how damn tempting he was. He’d go, hopefully collect his truck, and be back on track, no more weird impulses.