Nick shouldn’t have been surprised that his gift hadn’t been a rousing success. He’d known it was dicey, essentially asking Teddy for a repeat when they’d both agreed that this month was it, but once he’d had the vision of Teddy in the sun, on his boat, he hadn’t been able to shake the idea. But as Teddy nuzzled in closer, he couldn’t help the heavy cloak of disappointment that blanketed them both. They each wanted more than the other could give, and that was the truth of it.
It wasn’t fair to ask Teddy to settle for a visit, but hell if Nick had been able to stop the impulse to offer. Every time he thought about leaving, never seeing Teddy again, he got sick to his stomach. This plan had been the one thing keeping him going the past few days. And now he had to accept that maybe this was the end, the last few hours he’d ever get with this man.
He supposed he could beg, try to get Teddy to agree to his plan, but like Teddy had pointed out when they first met, neither of them were the hard-sell type. He wasn’t going to beg Nick to reconsider the long-distance idea, so the least Nick could do was not push him to make a decision about the trip.
No, all he could do was hold Teddy close, breathe in the minty scent of today’s shampoo, and try to quiet his racing heart and roiling gut. Tilting his head up, Teddy pulled him down for another kiss. Nick could taste his desperation because it mirrored his own. They should talk more, but hell if he knew what to say. This, kissing Teddy like his life depended on it, was easier. He could do this. Hell, since he no longer had a job, he could make this his occupation and die a happy man.
He might not know what to get Teddy or what words to use, but he knew how to do this, how to stroke his hair and swallow his little gasps and sighs, how to hold him close as he plundered his mouth. This he could do. Teddy tasted like chocolate, like a decadence Nick really shouldn’t be allowing himself yet sure as hell wasn’t about to turn down. The music swelled around them and the fake fire crackled and still they kept kissing.
I’m going to miss you. Nick wasn’t sure he could allow himself to say the words aloud, but his lips and tongue and body shouted the phrase over and over. I need you. I want you. I wish things were different. I wish I was different. His hands and mouth told the truth his voice never would.
“Too many clothes.” Teddy clawed at Nick’s belt in between kisses. He pulled back from Nick to pull off his own sweater and shirt. Somehow they each fumbled out of their clothing with minimal getting up and maximum kissing between clothing removal.
Then, because his bed felt too far away, they sank back into the recliner, Teddy still in his lap and resumed the kissing. Always kissing. Little kisses. Long ones. Deep, touch-your-soul explorations. Sexy little nibbles. Teddy’s grasping hands and eager sounds said that he wouldn’t turn down more, that he was only too willing to run headlong toward the finish line. But a climax meant the end to this, meant going to bed, meant sleep, meant more hours ticking away, meant fewer kisses to store away, so Nick did his best to slow them down.
“Easy,” he murmured. This only spurred Teddy into trying the sucking-on-Nick’s-lower-lip thing that always made him come unglued. He reached for Nick’s cock, but Nick batted his hand away. “Not yet.”
“Wanna…” Teddy started to complain, but ended on a sigh as Nick nibbled on his sensitive neck, using all his knowledge of which spots made Teddy squirm and moan the most. He shifted so that his hard cock rubbed against Nick’s stomach. “Fuck. Keep that up and I might come hands-free.”
Nick didn’t answer, just kept up his torture. Teddy was going to have marks, but Nick tried to keep it all below where his shirt collar would cover. Still, there was something undeniably sexy about marking Teddy, making him all Nick’s, taking that perfect flesh and sucking until it darkened and Teddy was a writhing mess in his lap. Right when Teddy’s moans changed to a desperate keening, he returned to his mouth for slow, drugging kisses designed to back him off the edge.
“You’re evil,” Teddy groaned when Nick finally let him up for air.
“I could kiss you all night.” For the rest of my life. He didn’t add that last bit of course, wasn’t about to get that emotional on Teddy, but he felt it, down to his marrow. He hadn’t been kidding when he told Teddy there was little chance of him having someone else by spring—the more likely scenario was him not having someone else again, period. Who could replace Teddy? And why would he want to try?
No, this had been the best interlude of his life, and he wasn’t about to go chase what would inevitably be second best. Distracting himself from his sinking mood, he thumbed Teddy’s nipples while licking his neck again, loving how Teddy bucked against him, cockhead painting a slick stripe.
“At least let me blow you,” Teddy wheedled.
“No, I want this.” Let me have this.
“Don’t wanna come first.” Teddy’s voice was a thready, almost pained whisper. “Come on, Nick. Get there with me. Please.”
Despite all his plans and intentions, Nick was powerless to deny this man anything. Getting his palm slick with spit, he lined up their cocks, stroking them both together.
“Really need to stash lube in the pockets of this chair.” Teddy laughed. “Fuck. Wanted to ride your dick while you lay back in this thing, but no way am I lasting.”
Next time. Nick had to bite the words back because there wouldn’t be a next time, at least not for a long while, if ever. Couldn’t promise Teddy a damn thing, and that was killing him a little piece at a time.
Their cocks sliding against each other caused familiar pressure to build in Nick, but it was tinged with a longing he’d never experienced before, a bittersweetness that felt like it might consume him even before the orgasm did.
“Nick. God. Kiss my neck again,” Teddy demanded. “Hard. Wanna see your mark all next week.”
When you’re gone. Unspoken, but it hung between them, made his mouth desperate against Teddy’s skin, made his hand more urgent. Teddy’s hand joined his, pushing for a faster rhythm.
“That’s it. Fuck. Need this. Need you,” Teddy chanted.
“Need you too.” Nick found his mouth for a searching kiss right as Teddy’s whole body started trembling.
“Right there. Come with me.”
“Yes. Fuck. Yes.” Nick’s body galloped ahead, surging to keep up with Teddy. Coming together felt like a triumph, almost a gift of sorts, something bigger and brighter than either of them could make alone. Slippery fluid coated his fist, and he honestly wasn’t sure which one of them had gone off first, just that he was coming and nothing could stop it from consuming him whole. It left him panting, muscles burning, spirit wrung out, nothing more left to give.
“I wanna sleep here.” Teddy nuzzled into Nick’s neck. “Don’t wanna move.”
“Okay by me.” Nick yawned and held Teddy tighter, mess be damned. They were sticky and sweaty and it was glorious and he never wanted this moment to end. But, as Teddy’s mouth found his for a soft kiss, he couldn’t help but notice that Teddy’s kiss tasted an awful lot like goodbye.