Some days Teddy really liked his job. And in the post-Christmas rush, he was grateful for it in a new way—the distraction factor alone was helpful as it kept him from checking his phone every three minutes to see if there was a new message from Nick.
“This is the last time.” Molly kept folding and unfolding her hands while Jayden and her two younger children played in the kids’ area at the resource center. Teddy couldn’t help but remember the first day he’d met Nick and how Molly’s little family had made such an impression on him.
“It’s fine,” he reassured Molly. She’d come for food assistance and help with a shutoff notice from the gas company that could mean no heat if not paid. “This is what we’re here for.”
“I know. But I mean it. Dan’s finally got a job offer. His friend from school got on with a construction outfit out of Pittsburgh. There’s a place waiting for Dan after the first of the year.”
“Pittsburgh?” Teddy couldn’t keep the dismay from his voice. Both Molly and Dan were Mineral Spirits natives with family locally and had gone to school with Charlie and his wife.
Molly resumed the restless movement of her hands. “Yeah, it’s a drive. But we’ve got a lead on a nice little apartment complex near a good school. We’ll be okay.”
“Of course you will. But your families are going to miss you, I’m sure. There wasn’t anything local for him?”
“No. Construction’s all but dried up right now and not much else he knows how to do. This way too, I can go back to school, finish my accounting degree, maybe get us all into a better situation in a few years.” She offered up a crooked smile. “Sometimes you have to take a risk, I guess. Hope it pays off, you know?”
“Yeah.” Unexpected warmth bloomed behind Teddy’s sternum. Take a risk. He wasn’t much good at that, was he? Despite his talk with his mother, he was no closer to a decision about what to do with Nick’s gift of tickets. What difference would it make if he went? Was there anything worth fighting for? He simply wasn’t sure anymore. “And I guess when you’re a family, you stick together.”
“Exactly.” Molly sighed dramatically. “The things I do for love. But this is Dan’s big dream. What kind of spouse would I be if I tried to hold him back, make him keep trying to make staying here work?”
“You’re a good wife,” Teddy said softly and meant it. Hold him back. Is that what he wanted to do with Nick, keep him from following his dreams? Tie him to an area he had no interest in? The things I do for love. That really was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? Was this love? Or was it just a holiday fling, two bodies passing in the night? Little flashes of the past month kept racing through his head—Nick in the Santa suit. Nick saving the day with the robber. Nick all sex-drunk and languid. Nick with Teddy’s family. All the sides of Nick that he…
Loved.
But it was crazy, right? No one fell in love in just a month.
“How long did you and Dan date in school?” he asked Molly.
“High school?” Molly laughed. “We couldn’t stand each other then. Even in classes we shared, we seemed to always argue. But several years later, we were both at the Lucky Scot one night, and things kind of…snowballed.” Her eyes sparkled, and she dropped her voice. “Two months later, we were expecting Jayden. Been together ever since.”
Huh. Two months. Was that so different than one? And he’d seen Molly and Dan together—no one could say that their road was an easy one, but their love for each other was undeniable. He couldn’t imagine Molly letting Dan go off to Pittsburgh without her and the kids. They were a true team, same as Charlie and Liza. Could that kind of partnership really be forged in a matter of weeks?
In his pocket, his phone buzzed and a thrill raced up his spine that it could be another text from Nick. Yeah, okay. Maybe he did have strong feelings for Nick. But what to do with them? He really didn’t know. Instead, he tried to focus on the business at hand. “Go ahead and shop in the food pantry while I handle the voucher for the heat company.”
“Sure.” Molly stood. “What about the kids?”
“I can do the voucher from my phone—I just have to call the gas company. I’ll keep an eye on them.”
“Thanks, Teddy. You’re the best.” Molly started to head to the food pantry area, then stopped and turned. “Last thing I want to do is pack boxes on New Year’s. But it’ll be easier with heat and something to eat.”
“It will,” Teddy assured her. Last thing he wanted to do was to be alone on New Year’s, but Molly’s situation really put his in perspective. Things could be worse. In so many ways, he was the same guy he’d been in November—great job, great family and friends, great town. But in so many other ways, he was changed now, never going to be able to go back to exactly who he’d been pre-Nick. And even with all his considerable blessings, he wasn’t sure what to do with those changes.
He still wasn’t sure when he met Rhonda at Iggy’s Deli for a late lunch. Gone was the Gobbler, and the new special was the “Sparkler,” a toasted chicken and gouda thing he’d never cared for as much. Time was marching on. Soon the season would be done and they’d be deep in the doldrums of winter and…
You could go visit Nick. Escape the snow. Don’t let him get away. Even while eating Nick plagued his thoughts.
“You’re thinking about him again.” Rhonda shook her head. “You two really are meant to be.”
“No, we’re not,” Teddy groaned and picked at his roast beef on rye.
“He messaged me to make sure you were okay. Wanted to make sure you were eating and stuff, I guess. He’s cute.”
“So he cares. But that doesn’t solve anything.” In fact, it made things worse. Made him wish for what could never have been. Finally giving up on the sandwich and setting it aside, he asked the question that had been on his mind all morning. “Do I take enough risks?”
“Like in life?” She shrugged, breaking off a piece of her brownie. “I mean it’s kind of like how you play hockey—you’re good and fast, but you only shoot when you know you’re going to score. And same deal with college—you only applied to safety schools where you knew you’d get in. And you never went for a lead in your music groups.”
“I like being the harmony.” He fiddled with his straw. He got what she was saying. He did play it safe. He drove a safe car with extra-safe tires. Heck, he might still be living at home if his mom and aunt hadn’t concocted the house-sitting plan. And even then, he wasn’t exactly out there blazing his own trail, taking risks.
But wasn’t Nick a risk? He wasn’t sure. Nick hadn’t felt dangerous. In fact, he’d felt like a gift Teddy was giving himself, right up until the point Nick drove off with his heart. Being with Nick had been the easiest thing in the world. If Nick was easy, if loving him had made Teddy feel safer than he ever had in his life, what was really holding them back here from having a future?
Rhonda shifted and he caught sight of himself in the mirror on the deli’s wall. He looked like crap—bags under his eyes, slouched shoulders, wrinkly clothes. He looked like a guy who’d lost his best friend. And he also looked like the answer to all his questions.
Me. The answer was right there in front of his face. No amount of advice from Rhonda was going to fix this. He was stopping himself, holding himself back, always wanting to be the good son, the good friend, the good organizer. But why? Did he really want to go through life never knowing what it was like to fly? To take a chance?
For the first time in days, he smiled. Maybe it was time he flew. Like really, really flew.