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FOR THE FIRST TIME since she’d moved into her dumpy apartment, Skylar wished for a TV. There was nothing else to distract her from this new pain. Reading was out of the question. And one could only reorganize a mostly empty room so many times before going mad. She’d moved Mia’s furniture around several times, trying every imaginable arrangement, finally settling on the way it had been in the first place.
She meandered outside, taking a seat at the top of her steps. A light chill breathed on the evening air and stars began peeping from the darkening sky. Joe’s death was the worst thing she’d ever endured, but the threat of losing Enrique elicited a whole new kind of heartache. He hadn’t said it was over between them, but the stiffness in his gait as he’d left had shaken her to the core. As did the vacant look in his eyes. Like she’d smothered his soul.
Leaving was probably better than spewing whatever had filled his head at that moment, but it hurt nonetheless. Even now, looking back on it, she was glad she’d told him everything. At least her conscience was clear. Besides, honesty was the only basis she would accept in a relationship with any man. It was the reason she and Joe had been so close. It was also the reason losing him hurt her so deeply. Neither had held anything back.
Life was too short for regrets that could be avoided with something so simple as a direct conversation. In spite of that truth, the thought of not having Enrique in her life stole her breath away. A man who put others before himself was a rare find. That heart in such a spellbinding package, even more so.
Except for low-level traffic noise drifting from the freeway, the night was quiet. She lay back on the sidewalk, cushioning her head with her hands. She’d made space for him, not just in her heart, but her life. The simple chore of preparing a meal had become so much more—an amorous dance that hinted at what might come later. Shopping for food was no longer mundane because there was the promise of spending time with Enrique, then a mouth-watering meal accompanied by meaningful conversation.
What would she do without him? The answer was simple: she would go on. She was stronger now, no longer afraid of harming herself in an effort to numb her pain. In good part, she had him to thank for that.
Skylar’s head began to throb from resting on the hard surface. Tiny rocks on the concrete had embedded themselves in the tops of her hands. She stood and moved slowly down the stairs. There was Mia to think about now. A forward momentum that would give Skylar a reason to get up every day. It struck her that merely thinking about the sweet, sometimes quirky, little girl made her heart ache with love and a fierce need to protect her. They’d only had a few brief interactions before the rescue. Their subsequent visits, though a bit stilted at the outset, had left Skylar with a longing to be more than a mentor or friend. The trip to the library had been wonderful. Deeply moving, in fact. Every person who worked there knew and adored Mia and her spirits had been lifted, renewing her dream of becoming a doctor, despite what she’d been through.
There was still no word from Peter about Mia’s extended family. Skylar understood it was usually in the child’s best interests to live with blood relatives but something inside her rebelled. She and Mia shared a connection unlike any other Skylar had experienced. Was it selfish to want to be a mother to Mia? A fool’s dream?
Knowing sleep would evade her, Skylar grabbed a book and got ready for bed. She was turning a page when she heard a familiar rumble in the parking lot. The motor cut out and a single headlight turned off. Skylar threw her book on the floor and shoved the covers aside. She lifted the blinds and spotted Enrique removing his helmet. It was too dark to read his expression. Unable to wait, she raced and opened the door.
Her feet felt leaden. Should she run up the stairs and throw her arms around him? Or had he come to officially end things? She decided it didn’t matter. If this was the last time she got to hold him, she was going to do it.
He was halfway to the stairs when she cleared them, his eyes focused on the sidewalk, shoulders drooping. Skylar’s steps faltered and she suddenly wished she hadn’t been so impulsive. Their gazes connected. What was probably half a second dragged on forever. In the dim light, she worked to parse the emotions that played on his face.
Then he surged forward, pulling her against him. “Lo siento.” His voice broke. “I’m sorry. I should never have walked out like that.” His kisses were somehow both tender and fierce.
Skylar gave as good as she got, wrapping her arms about his neck. His helmet thudded to the ground and both arms came around her. Their tears mingled as their faces nestled against each other. “You came back,” she whispered, hardly able to believe her good fortune.
His hands moved over her, reaching the hem of the T-shirt she’d worn to bed. “You’re not dressed.” He chuckled.
“It’s late. I was in bed. Be quiet.” She covered his mouth with hers. His hands went to her bottom and lifted. Skylar hopped up, winding her legs around his hips, connecting them at her ankles. “That’s better.” She got down to business again, every taste making her want more. His scent filled her nostrils and she tipped her head back and groaned. “You smell good. Like the wind.”
“I’ve been out for a while.” He glanced around. “Let’s go inside.”
“Okay.” She slid down his body, picking up his helmet and snaking an arm around his waist. They headed toward the stairs, where light spilled out through the open door. There wasn’t room to walk abreast, so she went in front. Once inside, she locked the door and leaned against it. “Sorry.”
He gave a slow smile. So alluring she thought she might die of wanting him. He brushed her cheeks with the backs of his curled fingers. “You surprised me. I wasn’t sure you’d open your door.”
Opening her door was just the beginning. “I said I was willing to wait.” She glanced at her watch. “You had three more minutes.”
He shook his head. “I guess I cut it close.”
Unexpected tears burned her eyes. “Please don’t ever do that again. Not without telling me when you’ll be back.”
He pulled her to him. “I won’t. I promise. I’m sorry.” His voice was ragged, his hands moved softly over her, quelling the ache that was strangely worse now that he was here.
Skylar bit her lower lip and tried to make sense of it. Enrique made her want things she thought she’d never want again. She hadn’t believed there would be life after Joe. Certainly not like this. She’d hoped for something akin to a black and white movie. This felt like The Wizard of Oz after the tornado was over. But they had things to sort out. And Mia was coming. “I’ll be right back.” She went to her closet and pulled on some jeans. Then she returned and nestled at his side. “I don’t want to lose you, Enrique. Tell me what you need.”
He kissed the top of her head. “First, I need to know you forgive me.”
Skylar rested a hand on his thigh, glanced up. “Of course I do. I’ve asked a lot of you. My life isn’t usually so dramatic. I’m not usually so dramatic. It’s kind of embarrassing. No, it’s totally embarrassing. Especially what I found out today.”
“I won’t hold that against you.”
“Do you trust me? About Alex?”
“I do. That wasn’t really the problem.”
“What was it?”
Enrique paused a few beats, cleared his throat. “I told you that before we could move forward, you had to let go of Joe.” He glanced away briefly. “But I wasn’t being fair. I realized after I left here that my resentment toward Kendra seeped into things with you. It discolored everything.”
“What do you mean?”
He took a deep breath before answering, his jaw muscle tense. His gaze met hers. “I was replaced by another man. And she acted like it was no big deal. Like one was as good as another so long as she had a man in her bed. It really messed me up.” His voice was rough.
She squeezed his hand. “What she did doesn’t reflect on you. At least not in my eyes.”
“When you told me what happened with Alex, it brought all of that back. I need to know I’m enough for you, Skylar. Even if I can make a go of things at the shop, I’ll never be able to give you what Alex could.” The words were drenched with self-doubt. Enrique gave her a searching look.
Skylar turned toward him, caressing his face. “Enrique, you have it backwards. Alex could never give me what you can. He lacks your heart. Your character. No amount of money can buy those things.” She let those words hang in the air, hoping he’d soak them in. Then she added, “I’m going to say this once. Then I need you to trust me.”
“Okay.”
“You are more than enough for me. But I need all of you. And you’ll get all of me. That’s the only way it will work.”
“I’m ready now.”