The seed for Chatter was planted thirty-seven years ago, when my dad started encouraging me to “go inside.” His voice was a constant companion as I wrote this book.
To my students, collaborators, and colleagues (there are too many of you to name). Without you, there would be no Chatter. Working with you has been a privilege. I hope this book allows other people to benefit from your wisdom the way I have.
It’s hard to imagine how I could’ve finished this project without my family’s support. My wife, Lara, patiently listened to me talk about Chatter every day for several years. She read every word and never stopped cheering me on. I shudder to think where the kids would be without her (likely stranded at school, in tattered clothing, hungry, wondering why I forgot to pick them up). I, too, would be lost. I’m confident that my father-in-law, Basil, had no idea what he was getting into when he offered to provide advice whenever I needed it. Suffice it to say, I took him up on the offer. Thank you for your indefatigable love and support. Mom, Irma, Karen, Ian, Lila, and Owen—thank you for putting up with my absences and not judging me (too) harshly for working on vacation. I love you all.
Doug Abrams, my literary agent extraordinaire, isn’t just brilliant and savvy and tall. He has a magnificent heart. His drive to make the world a better place is intoxicating. Doug had a clear vision for Chatter before I did, and tirelessly worked to bring the project to life. His voice was another welcome companion throughout the project. Aaron Shulman started out as my writing coach and ended up becoming a close friend. He taught me how to write for a broad audience, unlocked the secrets to finding great stories, punched up my prose when it needed a lift, and helped me push the manuscript across the finish line during the final sprint. He was my consummate literary guide. Lara Love provided incisive feedback on every chapter of the book, patiently explained how the publishing industry works, and spent countless hours schmoozing with me. Her warmth and wisdom made writing Chatter fun. Tim Duggan, my editor at Penguin Random House, was a dream to work with. Discerning, patient, and empathic, he championed Chatter from the moment we began collaborating and never stopped. His perceptive line edits and gentle encouragements to scale back here and go deeper there transformed the manuscript. I’m eternally grateful we had the opportunity to work together. I hope we get to do it again.
Thinking about all the people who contributed to Chatter is moving. Joel Rickett, my UK editor, offered multiple rounds of penetrating feedback. His suggestion to have an “aha” on every page was a guiding mantra while I worked on the book, and his encouragement to investigate how chatter manifests in dreams remains one of my favorite sidebars. Will Wolfslau read every chapter and made countless suggestions that improved Chatter’s final form. Aubrey Martinson (and Will) deftly nursed the manuscript through the publication process, keeping me updated on progress every step of the way. Molly Stern championed Chatter from the moment she saw the proposal. Rachel Klayman, Emma Berry, and Gillian Blake provided exceptional input on several chapters. Their advice enhanced Chatter’s depth and breadth in ways that I’m grateful. Finally, Evan Nesterak is a fact-checking wunderkind. His meticulousness helped me sleep well knowing that every story detail I presented was confirmed.
Idea Architects is a literary agency filled with sharp minds who are passionate about what they do. Thank you, Rachel Neuman, Ty Love, Cody Love, Janelle Julian, Boo Prince, Mariah Sanford, Katherine Vaz, Kelsey Sheronas, Esme Schwall Weigand, and the rest of the team for all of your help. At Penguin Random House, Steve Messina, Ingrid Sterner, Robert Siek, Linnea Knollmueller, Sally Franklin, Elizabeth Rendfleisch, Chris Brand, Julie Cepler, Dyana Messina, and Rachel Aldrich. At Ebury, Penguin Random House UK, Leah Feltham and Serena Nazareth. Abner Stein and the Marsh Agency helped spread word about Chatter around the world. I’m indebted to the hard work that Caspian Dennis, Sandy Violette, Felicity Amor, Sarah McFadden, Saliann St. Clair, Camilla Ferrier, Jemma McDonagh, and Monica Calignano put into the project along with the rest of both agencies’ teams.
Walter Mischel passed away before he could read Chatter. His influence permeates its pages. Özlem Ayduk and I have been close friends and research partners since the first day of graduate school. Her everlasting friendship and support motivated me throughout the project. Chatter is filled with her wisdom as well.
Angela Duckworth is the busiest scientist I know. Yet, she always returned my calls (usually minutes after I rang) and never failed to provide wise advice and heartfelt encouragement. David Mayer patiently listened to me pitch countless stories on our weekly runs. Jason Moser was a consummate brainstorming partner who provided a keen clinical perspective on several issues I grappled with (in the book, not personally). Little did I know when I met Jamil Zaki in graduate school that we’d end up writing books at the same time. He is the quintessential Chatter Adviser.
Adam Grant, Susan Cain, Dan Pink, Dan Heath, Jane McGonigal, Maria Konnikova, Adam Alter, Elissa Epel, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Dave Evans, Tom Boyce, James Doty, John Bargh, Scott Sonenshein, and Andy Molinsky were all tremendous supporters of this project from its inception. Thank you all for your kind words.
Dozens of people generously shared their amazing stories with me. Thank you. Without them, Chatter would not be what it is.
I’m fortunate to work with colleagues who are as generous with their time as they are brilliant. John Jonides, Susan Gelman, Oscar Ybarra, Luke Hyde, Jacinta Beeher, Gal Sheppes, Daniel Willingham, David Dunning, Steve Cole, Ariana Orvell, Marc Berman, Rudy Mendoza Denton, Andrew Irving, Ming Kuo, Amie Gordon, Marc Seery, Scott Paige, Lou Penner, Nick Hoffman, Dick Nisbett, Shinobu Kitayama, Stephanie Carlson, Rachel White, Craig Anderson, Janet Kim, Bernard Rimé, Walter Sowden, Philippe Verduyn, and Tor Wager all provided helpful feedback throughout the writing process. I’d also like to acknowledge the University of Michigan, a unique institution that encourages its faculty to ask “big” questions that matter. Without its support, much of the research I talk about in Chatter would not have been possible. I am also grateful to the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation, Riverdale Country School, Character Lab, Facebook, and the John Templeton Foundation for their support. Of course, the views presented in this book are my own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of these organizations.
Finally, to Maya and Dani. The worst part about working on this book (by far) was knowing it took away from our time together. Thank you for your patience and love. I’m back!