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Red’s Choice

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R

ed didn’t stay in the shadows for long. He left them and returned to the real world once he sensed that he was far enough away, but as he emerged he felt as if the coldness inside him had deepened and grown. The fact that it made him feel good only made it worse.

He shivered, and walked silently down the inside of the tower until he came across a servant.

‘Here, you,’ he said.

The servant stopped and bowed. ‘Yes?’

‘Is there a Temple in the city?’ Red asked.

The man nodded. ‘Not far from here. Leave here by the ground floor and ya can’t miss the dome, like.’

‘Thanks.’

Red went on his way, down and down until he reached the bottom of the tower. By now it was almost dark outside, but he could see the last of the sun dipping below the horizon.

Sure enough, he could also see the dome of Monag’s Sun Temple. It was small, but the gold sunwheel on the dome gleamed in the failing light.

Red hurried towards the front door. If he was going to pray, he should do it while there was some light left. Prayers to Gryphus were always heard most loudly during the day.

He paused in the doorway and looked inside. The Temple’s single round room was deserted, and looked just as shabby as the Eyrie. But there were lamps burning on the walls, and an altar at the centre. It would do. Red stepped over the threshold.

The moment his foot touched the floor, the pain started.

It began as a kind of sickness – an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He kept going, and with every step the feeling grew. Spit gathered in his mouth, and he retched.

A sudden urge to run away gripped him and steadily mounted as he walked on.

Then, as he neared the altar, the sick feeling twisted and became pain.

Red groaned. The pain was in his heart, not his stomach. It stabbed at him, growing worse and worse, until it began to radiate into his arms and then up into his head.

He could feel himself sweating. Heat had come into his body, but now it felt sickly rather than comforting.

But he could see the altar ahead of him, and he forged on towards it, fighting the pain with every step. Surely, Gryphus would hear him. Surely, the sun god would recognise him as one of his children.

By the time he reached it, he was in agony. He tried to kneel, but collapsed instead, and pulling himself into a kneeling position felt like the greatest struggle of his life.

A gold sunwheel effigy had been placed on the altar. With another mighty effort, Red reached up towards it.

The moment he touched it he pulled back, swearing. The metal felt red-hot under his fingers – he looked at them and couldn’t believe they weren’t burned.

He clasped his hands together instead, and started his prayer; stumbling over the words. His voice sounded weak and even hoarser than before. It sounded like the voice of a man on his deathbed.

‘Gryphus,’ he rasped. ‘Please, listen to me. It’s me, Red. Kearney Redguard. I just... I just want you to know that I’m still yours. I know what I am now, but I didn’t ask for it. I ain’t gonna serve the Night God. I’d rather die. I’d rather be cut to pieces. I just want t’be a loyal Southerner. I want to serve you, not her. Please, just help me.’ He looked up at the sunwheel, and put all his effort into raising his voice. ‘Please. Just say somethin’. Just speak to me. Send a sign. Show me I ain’t alone in this. Please.’

Nothing happened.

‘Please,’ Red said again. ‘You’re a god. I ain’t askin’ for much. Make the pain stop. Speak to me. Do somethin’! The South’s gonna fall apart. We need you! I need you. Please!’

There was no reply.

‘Just make the pain stop, to show me you’re there,’ Red pleaded. ‘Show me I ain’t damned.’

Utter silence was the only reply.

Red dragged himself to his feet. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘Do nothin’. Be useless just like you always have been. I don’t need you. I’m gonna do this myself, even if I’m damned.’

With a last violent effort, he hit the sunwheel with the back of his hand and sent it flying before he turned and shuffled out of the Temple, wincing with the effort.

Outside, Kraego was waiting for him.

‘You should not have gone in there,’ the black griffin rumbled.

Red stepped back out into the night, and in an instant the pain left him. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Yer right. Gryphus won’t help me. He won’t help anyone.’

‘You do not need him, or any god,’ said Kraego. ‘You have me.’

‘Yeah, an’ looks like that’s it,’ said Red. ‘They’re never gonna trust me, Kraego. You saw them. They’re scared of me. Some of ’em hate me too.’

‘With your human cunning, you can persuade them to trust us,’ said Kraego.

‘I ain’t no politician,’ said Red. ‘What’m I gonna tell them? All they’ve got now is my word to go on, an’ everyone knows the Shadow That Walks is a liar.’

‘Then we shall persuade them with deeds,’ said Kraego. ‘If we strike the first blow against Shar ourselves, it will show them that we mean what we have said.’

Red ran his finger down the scar on his throat. ‘Hm. Yeah. That sounds like it’d work.’

‘Speak, then,’ said Kraego. ‘Use your human gift and decide where we must go and what we must do there.’

Red spread his hands. ‘I dunno, but I know where I want to go. Liranwee. My friends might still be there, an’ it’s my home. Was, anyhow.’

‘Then Liranwee is where we shall go,’ said Kraego. ‘Together.’

*

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Red wanted to leave immediately, but he knew he should at least tell the others he was going. By now Isleen, Neth and the others would have reached the Eyrie, so he went back there with Kraego to find them.

Isleen and Alaric had been given a shared room lower down in the tower – below the griffiners, in other words. Red found them both there, sharing a meal.

Isleen looked up when he entered, and smiled. ‘There you are. We heard...’

‘Heard what?’ Red asked tersely.

The smile disappeared. ‘That’d you’d... had some difficulties,’ said Isleen.

Red grimaced. ‘News spreads fast ’round here. Yeah. Seems even old friends don’t like what I’ve become. Can’t say I blame them. But we just came here to tell you we’re leavin’.’

‘Leaving?’ Isleen stood up. ‘Captain, what are you thinking? Listen, I know this must be difficult for you, but you can’t run away from it. You’re still one of us, aren’t you?’

‘That’s right!’ Alaric stood up too. ‘Alaric the Dashing wouldn’t run away from his problems, and neither should you!’

Red rubbed his eyes. ‘Alaric the Dashing ain’t real, mate. This is real life – for the love of gods, get that through your skull! You can’t just hide away in fantasies for the rest of your life. You’ll wind up dead, or alone.’

Alaric stared at him with an expression of pathetic betrayal. ‘But...’

‘Anyway, we ain’t running away,’ Red went on quickly. ‘We’re goin’ to do some scouting. If we can show people whose side we’re on, that’ll solve this faster than bandyin’ words like some Eyrie Master in council.’

‘Captain, no.’ Isleen came towards him. ‘You can’t go alone. What if—?’

Red laughed harshly. ‘What if what? I’m already dead. You stay here an’ look after the others. We won’t be gone long.’

‘Where will you go?’ Alaric asked timidly.

Red finally smiled. ‘Home,’ he said.

‘They won’t be glad to see you,’ Isleen warned. ‘After what happened...’

‘Maybe not, but I gotta face it sooner or later,’ said Red. ‘Now listen – there’s somethin’ else I want you to do while I’m gone.’

‘Yes?’

‘If Teressa comes back before I do, I want you to protect her,’ said Red. ‘Vouch for her. The others here might try an’ kill her on sight – don’t let that happen. If anything happens to her, I’ll hold you responsible, Isleen.’

Isleen looked shocked.

Alaric took her by the arm. ‘That’s unfair!’ he protested. ‘She’s not a griffiner any more, and—,’

‘and she’s the best ally I’ve got right now,’ said Red.

‘I’ll do what I can,’ said Isleen. ‘But she’s only a—,’

‘She’s the best chance we’ve got!’ Red interrupted. ‘With her to spread the word about me, it’ll make divisions in their ranks. Confuse ’em. Scare ’em, too. An’ frankly, Isleen, I trust her more’n I trust you.’

Isleen stiffened. ‘She’s a traitor!’ she snapped.

‘Yeah,’ said Red. ‘An’ you stabbed Queen Laela in the back an’ helped Caedmon take her throne, so don’t talk to me about betrayal. An’ you had my father killed. Don’t deny it.’

Isleen went pale. ‘Captain, I—,’

Red softened. ‘Don’t worry about it. I ain’t gonna chase you off. We’ve all done things we ain’t proud of. But you owe me a debt, Isleen. You want my full trust, you gotta earn it. I reckon if you talked to Teressa, you’d find you had more in common with her than y’think. Now I’m off. I’ll be back in a few days, probably.’

Isleen nodded formally. ‘I understand.’

‘An’ you,’ Red added, pointing at Alaric.

‘Yes?’ Alaric looked terrified.

‘Look after her,’ said Red. ‘Try spendin’ some time in the real world – you might even like it. After all, in the real world you’ve got Isleen.’

Alaric smiled and stood a little taller. ‘I do. Thank you, Captain. I’ll...’ he took Isleen’s hand and clutched it tightly. ‘I’ll defend her to the death!’

Red grinned. ‘That’s the spirit. See you two later.’

Kraego had been waiting in the corridor for him, and he led the way back up the tower.

‘You are right not to trust her,’ the black griffin rumbled. ‘She killed my father as well.’

‘Helped Shar do it, you mean,’ said Red. ‘Yeah, I know. An’I helped that Ahamay kill the Emperor, so maybe I’m no better. Let’s get on an’ get some sleep before we go. We’ll tell Merca we’re leavin’ in the morning; she’ll be busy right now. Mind you, she might not even notice.’

‘The humans here are all mad,’ said Kraego.

‘Mad, I can manage,’ said Red.

He reached the door to his quarters, and absent-mindedly went through it.

Inside, he found someone waiting for him.

Red’s hand stayed on the doorknob. ‘Liantha?’

The former Eyrie Mistress of New Eagleholm had been sitting on his bed, but now she stood up and came towards him.

‘Red,’ she said. ‘Please come in.’

Red entered, leaving Kraego to come in after him. ‘What’s all this about?’

‘I wanted to apologise,’ said Liantha. ‘I shouldn’t have... I should have said something back there.’

‘It’s all right,’ Red said gruffly. ‘I knew you wouldn’t take it well. How could you? The first man like me destroyed Old Eagleholm.’

‘Yes...’ Liantha sighed. ‘And none of my people are going to forget that. Try and forgive them, Red. Almost everyone in that hall lost someone in the Eagleholm fire. That’s not something anyone can forget.’

‘Yeah...’ Red walked past her and out onto the balcony. By now night had come, and the sky glittered with stars. There was no moon out tonight.

Liantha followed him, and came to stand beside him. Behind them both, Kraego lay down in his nest.

‘I can’t help but wonder,’ said Red. ‘If I’m like him now. I mean...’

‘What is it?’ asked Liantha.

‘I dunno what I’ll do,’ said Red. ‘I know the stories. The Shadow That Walks has a bloodlust inside him. I mean, all those things he did – how much of it did he want to do? What if he did some of it because he just... lost control? Or because the Night God forced him? An’ if that’s true, what’ll happen to me? I’ve done nothin’, but... I feel like I have. Or will. I feel guilty just existing.’

Liantha touched him. ‘It’s all right, Red. It’s going to be fine.’

‘But I feel like I don’t belong to myself no more,’ said Red. ‘An’ it’s worse than it was when I was a slave. What if Teressa’s right? What if I do the Night God’s will without meanin’ to? What if she can control me?’

‘I think if she could, she would have done it by now,’ said Liantha. ‘You were right Red – you might be the Shadow That Walks now, but you’re on our side. You can use these powers however you choose.’

‘It is true!’ Kraego interrupted. He came up behind them, looming over them both. ‘The power was in me as well,’ he said. ‘But I was not controlled. I used it how I chose. The Night God tempted me, but I refused her. You too can refuse.’

‘There,’ said Liantha. ‘You see? Listen to him; he knows what he’s saying. I mean, he gave you the power, didn’t he?’

‘He did,’ said Red. He had already started to feel better. ‘You’re right, Liantha, an’ you too, Kraego. It’s gonna be all right. We can do this.’

‘And in the meantime, the others might not trust you, but I do,’ said Liantha. ‘I’m still your friend.’

Red put his arm around her. ‘Thanks, Liantha. It means a lot to me, havin’ you here. I mean it.’

Liantha put her own arm around him in return, a little hesitantly. ‘I think you and I both need a friend just now. But I’m afraid it’s true – you are cold. Be sure to hug me again if I catch a fever!’

Red chuckled. ‘You got it.’

‘I talked to your friend Lady Isleen,’ Liantha added. ‘She told me you’re planning to fight back against the Northerners.’

‘Yeah, I am,’ said Red. ‘Alone, if I have to.’

‘You won’t,’ said Liantha. ‘I’ll come with you, and I’ll order my council to do the same, and all my citizens who came here with me.’

‘Really?’ said Red.

‘Yes,’ said Liantha. ‘You’re the closest thing to a general we have. You’ve got Kraego, and he’s easily the biggest griffin here. And you’ve been trained in fighting and military leadership. You’re the obvious choice.’

‘We are,’ said Kraego. ‘I trust that my sister understands that.’

‘She does,’ said Liantha. ‘She wouldn’t be fool enough to try and challenge you anyway.’

‘And besides that, it is the nature of Kraeai kran ae to lead,’ said Kraego. ‘Not to follow. We have decided that we will go to Liranwee and learn more of what is happening. We will strike a blow against Shar, and that will be our call for others to follow us.’

‘That’s right,’ Red nodded.

Liantha let go of him. ‘What, alone?’

‘Yeah,’ said Red. ‘We’ll move faster by ourselves. But don’t worry; we’ll come back here afterwards. An’ also, while we’re gone, there’s somethin’ I’ve asked Isleen to do. If you want, you can help her.’

‘What is it?’ asked Liantha.

Red explained about Teressa.

Liantha looked doubtful. ‘Northern traitors? Well... I suppose they could be helpful. I won’t lie, though ­– my friends won’t like it at all.’

‘Then they’ll just have to get used to it,’ said Red. ‘Can I count on you?’

‘You can,’ said Liantha. ‘Followers are followers. I’ll tell them that if they complain.’

‘You can tell ’em if they lay a hand on any of ’em, they’ll have me to answer to,’ Red growled. ‘An’ Kraego as well, but I’m a lot worse.’

‘How are you worse?’ Kraego demanded.

‘’Cause I’m human,’ said Red. ‘Griffins like you do what they have to t’get what they want, but humans are the ones who get nasty just ’cause we can.’

‘Understood,’ Liantha smiled. ‘I’ll go and talk to the others and leave you to get some rest.’

‘Thanks,’ Red smiled at her. ‘An’ I mean it. Thanks for bein’ here for me, Liantha. I needed it.’

‘No,’ Liantha smiled back. ‘It was you who came to us when we needed you, Red. All of us. And we haven’t forgotten it.’

*

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Red went to bed that night without having eaten anything – not an uncommon thing nowadays. He still got hunger pangs, but now they were easier to ignore. He didn’t know if he even needed to eat any more.

Tiredness was something else he could still feel, but he never slept easily now.

He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. It was pitch black, but he could still see it. Darkness was no handicap to him now.

It’s mine, he thought calmly. I own it. It owns me.

Words rose up in his mind. Words Kullervo had recited to him many years ago. Words his father Arenadd, had once whispered out of the shadows to strike terror into his enemies.

Red murmured them to himself, chanting them softly in the darkness.

‘I am the shadow that comes in the night. I am the fear that lurks in your heart. I am the man without a heart. I am darkness. I am death. I am the Shadow That Walks.’

I am the shadow...

He fell asleep with those words in his ears.

Darkness filled his mind... and then there was light. Morning had come. But the sunlight coming in through the windows felt harsh and painful. It made his eyes ache.

He got up and walked out through the tower alone, searching for the others.

The building was utterly silent.

He looked in the first bedroom he found. There was a woman in there. Merca, lying in her bed.

At first he thought she was asleep – but then he saw the blood on her throat. Her eyes were wide open, the face locked in a final expression of horror.

Red ran through into the griffin’s nest next door, and found Tarak there. She lay on her side, her entrails draped over the straw and her trough full of blood.

Red couldn’t bear to look. He ran out, back to the corridor and on through the tower, searching everywhere, calling the names of his friends.

Everywhere he went, he found death. Isleen, stabbed to death in her bed. Alaric, lying on the open pages of a book with his pen still in his hand. Someone had dipped their hands in his blood and scrawled the words “...and then Alaric died” on the wall above him.

He found Liantha and Seerae, the one lying draped over the other with her head half torn off. Seerae’s eyes had been cut out and crushed in her killer’s hands.

He found Neth, slit open like a slaughtered pig, his friends stabbed to death as they had tried to fight back beside him.

Red searched every room on every level, and found nothing. Everyone dead.

But how? How could he have slept through it, how...?

He looked down at his own hands, and saw the truth.

Blood ran down to his elbows and dripped onto the floor. His fingers were caked in gore.

‘No!’ he screamed the word. ‘No!’

In front of him, three people stood in a semicircle. All Northerners.

The first was a man, all grubby and wild, wearing nothing but shaggy animal skins. He held a wooden spear and wore a lunatic smile, and his hands and arms were soaked in blood.

The second was a man, robed and bearded, his long, curly hair draped over his shoulders. He held a dripping sickle and his hands dripped along with it.

The third was an old woman. One of her eyes was an empty, scarred socket, but the other eye glittered with hate. She too had been splashed with blood.

All three were gaunt and pale as death, and they stared at him with lifeless eyes.

All three spoke as one, their voices low and cold.

‘Traegan. Arenadd. Saeddryn.’ They smiled the smiles of wolves. ‘Kearney.’

And he saw himself, there, standing with them, the eyes lifeless, the smile full of cruelty. Blood dripping from his hands.

One of them.

‘No!’ Red shouted, but his voice was silent.

The four of them began to chant.

‘You are the shadow that comes in the night, you are the fear that lurks in their hearts. You are the man without a heart. You are darkness. You are death. You are the Shadow That Walks.’

And when Red tried to say no, tried to run, he did neither.

He looked around at the dead, and laughed until he cried.

*

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‘Red. Red!’

Red came awake in an instant. ‘What?’ he heard himself say.

Kraego’s voice replied. ‘Were you awake?’

Red sat up. There was no confusion, no drowsiness. His mind snapped back to full awareness in an instant. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I was sleepin’. I...’

The giant griffin was standing over him, his tail swishing from side to side. ‘I thought you were awake,’ he said. ‘You were... laughing.’

Red realised that Kraego sounded genuinely disturbed. ‘Yeah,’ he mumbled. ‘Yeah, I think I would’ve been.’ He sat there for a moment while the dream replayed itself in his mind. ‘Oh gods,’ he said. ‘Was I here all night?’

‘I was asleep,’ said Kraego. ‘Why would you not know where you were?’

‘I dreamt...’ Red slipped off the bed. ‘I gotta go.’

He ran out of the room.