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MONDAY, MARCH 4TH
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SHE DIDN’T HAVE to tell me anything. I heard it in the hallway right after I walked through the door front doors of Heritage that morning. Underclassmen whispered it in conversations by their lockers, and shot me pitiful looks, as if they’d sized me up and decided that I’d been the biggest fool to ever grace the halls of our suburban school. I caught a couple of kids mid-laugh, as if they didn’t realize I’d walk right by them, and then felt embarrassed that I did. When I strode up to Nathan and Josh just before first period, they wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“What? What is it?” I only asked it to start the conversation. I already knew what they would say.
“Nothing,” Josh said, but his bright voice seemed fake. I knew right away that he had something more to say, but that he couldn’t figure out how to tell me. “Nothin’ at all, dude.”
“Come on.” Nathan socked him in the arm. “We’re his friends. We should tell him.”
“Tell me what?” I shifted my backpack from one shoulder to the other.
Josh looked away from me. “It’s Laine. She’s back with . . .”
“She’s back with Evan?” In my head, I sounded flip. I hoped that’s how I came across to them. “They got back together?”
“Yeah, they did.” Nathan clapped me on my shoulder. “You okay about it?”
“That’s not the only thing, though,” Josh said, raising his voice. “They aren’t . . . well . . . everyone is sayin’ . . .”
“Saying what?” I tapped my foot.
“They’re saying she stood you up. That you showed up at her house, and she was there with Evan, and that you looked stupid because you had flowers and thought she would actually want to go out with you. And that Evan had to tell you the truth.”
I sucked in a hard breath. They knew this would hurt me, and it did. This could only have come from Evan himself. Laine wouldn’t spread a stupid rumor like that, but Evan would. What an asshole. Why did everybody act like this guy had been crowned king of Robert Hill?
“Nice,” I replied. I chose my next words with the precision of a surgeon. I needed to hide the pain I felt from them, and fast. “Just so you guys know, we did go on a date. And it was great, until she took a phone call from that jerk-off.”
“A date?” Josh asked.
“Yep.”
Nathan and Josh exchanged glances as the bell rang.
“Okay,” Josh said. “Whatever you say. Just wanted you to know what people were saying about you.”
I answered with a fake laugh, and motioned for us to walk the rest of the way to class. Since when had I really cared what people thought? Well, I did care, but I also knew where I stood with most of them. My classmates didn’t understand me, and never would. They thought of me as some kind of smart geek who did nothing but study, as he treaded water somewhere in the middle tier of Heritage High’s social hierarchy. Whatever. I’d be out of there in less than three months, anyway, and on my way to UVA while they floated around wondering what to do next with their lives.
As for Laine? I had been an idiot once again. What I thought was a date with the hottest girl in school had turned out to be just a distraction for her. She didn’t think it was a date, not in the least, and I should have known that. It was just what I deserved for thinking I could have someone like her.
I squared my shoulders and walked into class, three steps behind Josh and Nathan. Everyone else had taken their seats, so we made an entrance.
“Nice of you boys to join us,” Mr. Langston said from behind his podium. “It’s not like we have a major test to take in just over two months.”
“Sorry, Mr. Langston,” Nathan muttered, making it clear he spoke for all of us.
“Turn to page 295 in your text,” Mr. Langston said to the rest of the class. He clapped his hands. “Wake up, everyone. Every second of the next few weeks count. No more sleepwalking through Mondays.”
I threw my book bag down next to my desk. As I did, my eyes caught Laine’s gaze. She bit her lower lip, and her eyes looked bigger than usual. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed after a moment.
All I did was shrug and slide into the desk. I could have been mad or upset, but I didn’t feel like it. I just wanted to stay numb and make it through the rest of high school. Whatever.
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TUESDAY, MARCH 12
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Josh had wide eyes and a snide smile when he set his tray down at our table for lunch. In fact, a red blush rimmed his round face, and I wondered for a half second if he had some kind of strange disease. I hadn’t heard anything about him getting sick, though.
“Dude,” Nathan said, in between bites of his apple. “You look weird.”
“Do I?” Josh replied as he sat down. His eyes danced, the same way a lot of people’s did when they got the Christmas present they’d wanted, or found $20 dollars in their pocket. I’d seen Josh excited before, but not often like this.
“What’s up?” I asked. “Something’s up.”
Josh glanced at the other tables close to ours. Around us, students did the usual. They chattered about their day, and ate lunch without paying attention to us.
“I had to go to the nurse’s office this morning because I thought I was getting a migraine in Spanish,” Josh said, after he was satisfied no else wanted to listen to our conversation. “You know. Mom sent up some medication at the beginning of year, and they keep it there.”
“Right,” I said, prompting Josh to continue his story. He got migraines about three times a year, and we all knew about it. Old news.
“Anyway, when Mrs. Turner went to the get the medicine out of the back, I noticed an open box on the floor by her desk.” He bit back a smile. “Know what was in it?”
Nathan sighed, his attention still on his half eaten lunch. “What?”
Josh looked around again as the rest of the bustling lunchroom. “Okay, you guys can’t tell anyone.” With a dramatic flourish, he reached in to his back pocket, then slowly slid a small red square packet along the edge of the table, letting just enough show so that Mark, Nathan and I would see it.
Nathan’s fork fell out of his hand, and clattered onto his tray. “Whoa. Is that what I think it is?”
Mark nodded, and choked on his orange juice.
Josh grinned at all of us. “Yep. It’s what you think it is.” He leaned in closer to us, and the words tumbled out of his mouth. “It was a whole box of condoms. I have no idea why she had them, but she did. There must have been five hundred in there.”
“How many did you take?” I asked.
“I grabbed a handful before she came back in.” He nodded at us, as if he wanted to back up what he was saying. “Four of them. One for each of us.”
Mark sat back, crossed his arms, and his mouth hung open. He didn’t speak for about thirty seconds. “Wow. Man. You are amazing.”
“Well done,” Nathan said.
“But we don’t need them,” I pointed out. “We’re not getting any.”
“Shut up.” Josh glared at me. “You might not be getting any, but it won’t always be that way. And it’s not that way for me.”
“Whoa,” I said. “Mister Confident. Maybe I’ll call Allison over here and tell her you just said that.”
“Just take one,” Josh said. He fished around in his jeans pocket again, pulled out the other three, and handed one to each of us under the table, as if they were drugs or stolen merchandise. “You’ll thank me later.”
I stifled my laughter as I put one in my wallet. The way things were going in my life I wouldn’t need this stupid condom for at least five years. By then, it would probably just be an expired shred of latex.
She caught me at my locker after the last bell. I didn’t get my stuff fast enough, and she found me there, switching out books, about five minutes after the last bell sounded.
“So. I guess you heard,” she said, as she leaned up against the locker next to mine and bit her lip. “I mean, it’s been all over the place for the last week.”
I slammed my locker door shut. “What? About you and Evan? Yeah, I heard.”
“I felt so bad about that Saturday. I shouldn’t have taken that call, but I didn’t know what to do, and his text said it was important.”
“Whatever,” I said, as I scooped my backpack up off the floor. “He’s your boyfriend. It happens.”
She nodded. “I had a really fun time with you that night. It was great.”
“Me, too.” By now I had the backpack on both of my shoulders, so I started my walk to the car. She followed me, her small booted feet working overtime to keep up with my longer strides. “But you know, it was all in my imagination, right?”
“You’ve heard the rumors?” When I nodded my head, yes, she continued. “I hate people sometimes. Listen, it’s not what you—”
“You really like him, don’t you?” I stopped walking just after we made it out of Heritage’s front door, and she almost ran into me. “Evan. You really like him. Because you didn’t seem like you did when we were over in Mt. Adams at the overlook.”
“Yeah—about that phone call . . . Evan had some stuff going on, and I didn’t want to make it worse. He’d already send me a bunch of text message about it, and I felt so bad about ignoring him.” Her eyes shifted away from mine. “So I had to go.”
“Whatever. You don’t have to make up excuses.”
“He needs me, Geoff.” She turned her head. “And he’s been my boyfriend for so long. It’s what I’m used to. And what everyone expects.”
“You don’t have to do what everyone expects all the time, Laine.” I reached over and turned her gaze back to mine with a swipe of my finger. “And look—Saturday was a friend thing, right? Two friends, having fun.”
Lying to myself like this made things easier. If we were just friends, then it didn’t hurt so much that she’d ditched me for Evan. Friends didn’t get hurt when someone got back together with their boyfriend, even if they didn’t like that boyfriend. Friends just carried on as if nothing happened.
“Friends.” She said the word slowly. “Yeah. I guess.”
“We’ll still talk,” I said. “Of course we will.”
“Sure,” she said, but her voice sounded hollow.
In fact, she sounded about as convinced as I felt—which was not very.