This is preceded by the following entry in the Brentwood Journal of 1977:
I took 140 mg. of caffeine and 75 mg. of Phenylpropanolamine at 9 a.m. My meditation was painless except for the dull thud of horror in my heart. I’m in the driveway again. I’m speeding away. I’m breaking my neck on the chain.
I want to finish the songs. I want to be in a song. I want to be singing my heart away. I want to ---- my wife all the time. Will she desire me ever again? In the old dark way? In the old blind way?
The Irish are speaking to me again. The ones who are always in tune. The ones who are terribly drunk. The ones who aren’t even fun.
It isn’t enough to ---- your wife. It isn’t enough to speed along. There isn’t enough in the Irish tongue. The trees will never be green enough. That’s why I can’t complain. Love is all overlooking. That’s why I can’t complain.