17- Living With a Purpose

It takes a while to find Chap because, all of a sudden, everybody loves me. They’ve all heard about the serum and Kevin’s recovery, but they don’t know any details, which warms my heart because it demonstrates that Chap and Katy can be trusted not to talk about my business.

I tell them it’s a long story, and promise to give them all the gory details –pun intended- as soon as I’m up to it. I don’t, however, escape the dining hall before Gale has not-so-gently persuaded me to down a granola bar and cup of coffee, warning me that I’m so skinny I look like I’m about to evaporate.

I find Chap, appropriately, in the chapel. The moment his eyes fall on, me he leaps from his chair, forgoes a handshake, and crushes me in a bear hug.

“You saved us.”

I can’t think of anything to say that won’t make me seem like a douche, so I just shrug. I pull up a chair and we sit staring at each other for way too long. I wonder if he’s playing some kind of “I’m not going to talk first” game, but then it occurs to me that I’m the one who came to him, and he’s waiting to hear why.

The words seem to escape of their own accord. “I want to tell you the rest of what happened.” He nods and, without intending to, I’m spilling the entire story. Not just about Callie, either. I mean the whole story: high school, the bug, Katy, and then Fall Branch. It’s hard to talk about Callie, but I the story needs to be told, and not just so I can unburden my soul. Without her, I might not have even found my way to Jameson, much less survived. She deserves as much credit as I.

The worst part is telling Chap about Jameson’s final act of vengeance. I think how close Callie came to still being alive. If she had only waited until we opened the box, she’d still be here. What a waste.

“You understand why he did it, don’t you?” Chap’s question takes me by surprise.

“Because he was a scumbag.” I have the sudden urge to drive back to Fall Branch and shoot him a few more times.

“That’s true, but I think there’s a more specific reason he did it. I’m thinking of what he told you about his wife.”

“He said she didn’t have to die. If she’d held on for one more day...” My gasp of realization suffocates the unspoken words.

“Exactly. He could clearly see you and Callie cared for each other, and he couldn’t stand knowing that, unlike his wife, Callie was going to be saved from the bug, and the two of you were going to be together, just as he and his wife should have been. He wanted someone to hurt as much as he did.”

“He succeeded.” My insides are twisted like the rope in a Boy Scout knot tying contest. I ache for Callie, but I still want Katy. What kind of jerk am I? “So where do I go from here?”

“Anywhere you want. Everyone has something inside himself that will guide him if he can only hear it. It has plenty of names: intuition; the Holy Spirit; conscience; the still, small voice; gut instinct, universal truth. Depends on your perspective, but it’s there. Try to push aside all the external factors and hear what it’s saying to you.

A year ago, a week ago, even a day ago I would have dismissed his words as religious crap, new age hoodoo, or psychobabble. Today, however, they ring true.

“People need hope.” That might be the cheesiest sentence I’ve ever spoken, but I believe it. “Callie died knowing she was leaving some hope for the world, but if she’d known there was hope for herself too, she would have held on a little bit longer. Same for Jameson’s wife.”

Chap nods. “Go on.”

I stand up and begin pacing the small room. “Inside the compound, we saw the body of someone who had blown their brains out. I suppose they watched what was happening in the world, and finally gave up.” I pound my fist into my palm. “There must be other people out there like Callie, in hiding, trying to stay alive. Heck, I didn’t know Katy was still alive until she came walking down my street. If the survivors give up hope, if they eat a bullet, the serum won’t do them any good.”

“That’s true.” Chap’s frown and troubled eyes tell me he hasn’t considered this.

“The serum will be good for saving people who’ve been freshly bitten, or maybe if we find someone who’s newly-turned, but the buggers that turned a long time ago and are falling apart, or have lost body parts, I don’t know about turning them back.”

“Even if the serum worked on them, they’d likely be returning to an agonized state and would probably die.” Chap exhales a long, tired breath. “We’ll have to see, of course, but you’re on to something.”

“I want to find survivors and bring them back here. If they’re already living in places like this, safe and sound and doing all right, I’ll let them know we’ve found a cure. No one should die because they’ve given up hope.” My thoughts race faster than my words and I hurry to keep up. “I can make signs and leave them in every town I pass through. That way, if I miss people, and I know I will, there’s still a chance they’ll see the sign and know not to give up.”

“It will be dangerous. What if the people who’ve turned get you?” I wonder if he realizes he’s already started seeing them as infected people instead of buggers. “Your life matters too, you know.”

“My life only matters to me if I’m doing something useful.” I pause, not wanting to say my next thought. “I think this is what I’m supposed to do.” I hate admitting this because it implies there’s something more out there, some external force that’s setting my path. Then again, maybe it’s just me being true to myself. I don’t know for sure, but I know one thing to be true. “It’s my purpose.”

“Good luck with it, then.” Chap rises from his chair and shakes my hand. “I hope you’ll let us be your base of operations. We can keep you supplied. You should probably keep one dose of serum with you at all times. I know at least one person who will be very put out if anything happens to you.”

I’m going to have to tell Katy what I’ve decided. I don’t know how she’ll take it, but I think she’ll understand. I’m halfway out the door when I think of one more question.

“Chap,” I swallow hard, “do you think I was meant to meet Callie?”

“Possibly. It depends on the way you see the world.” He grins. “And that is for you to discover for yourself. I could break out the religious text of my choice and try to persuade you one way or the other, but it won’t be nearly as powerful as something you discover on your own. At least, that’s how it happened for me.”

Katy surprises me. She’s not thrilled with my dangerous new plan for my life, but she says she understands. She finds a Sharpie and a stack of paper in one of the abandoned offices and we spend the rest of the day making signs for me to leave in every town I pass through. She asks me to promise that I won’t stay gone for more than a day at a time. I hold out for three, and we compromise at two.

The next day, I load up the car and get ready to go. I take only enough provisions for three days, just in case. According to the map Chap has given me, there are enough towns within a day’s drive that it will be a long time before I’m forced to renegotiate my deal with Katy. Kevin, now out of quarantine, comes out to thank me personally, and surprises me with two clips that will fit Callie’s Colt 45. Katy gives me a funny look, but doesn’t ask. I’ll tell her one day, but not just yet.

Our goodbye is tearful, at least on her end, and ends with a vow of eternal vengeance if I let anything happen to me. One very long kiss later, I climb into the car, buckle my seatbelt because Katy tells me to, crank it up, and wave goodbye.

I don’t watch her in the rear-view mirror. It’s not for any sentimental reason. I’m just afraid that if I don’t keep my eyes on the road, I’ll hit a tree, and my newfound hero status will be gone as quickly as it arrived.

I turn onto the main road and head north. I don’t know how things will turn out. Maybe I won’t find anyone else alive, and this will all be one giant waste of time. There’s one thing I do know for certain, though.

I have a purpose.

End

If you enjoyed The Zombie Driven Life, try Neptune’s Key!

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About the Author

David Debord is the pen name of action-adventure author David Wood. In addition to the Absent Gods, he is also the author of the Dane Maddock Adventures and several other series. When not writing, he hosts the Wood on Words podcast and co-hosts the Authorcast podcast. He and his family live in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Visit him online at http://www.davidwoodweb.com or http://www.daviddebord.com.

Books by David Wood

The Dane Maddock Adventures

Loch (forthcoming)

Dane and Bones Origins