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Alex did everything she could to not focus on the dark cloud of sadness that loomed in the distance. It made its way closer with every passing day, and here it was. Their last night before Slater was to leave for ten months. Even though she would see him in three months, it didn’t take the desolate mood away. Alex tried to shake off the melancholy as she lost herself in the kitchen and hoped the art of cooking would help get her mind off things.
Alex put the finishing touches on dinner as she turned the stove off. Her appetite was nonexistent, but the symbolism of cooking a farewell meal for Slater was important to her. She sent Kathleen home early for the day and graciously declined her offer of help. She wanted to prepare the entire meal. Their dinner for the evening was simple, but one of Slater’s favorites. Steak and potatoes, with Alex’s touch of roasted vegetables.
With a small sigh, Alex walked upstairs to let Slater know dinner was ready. She slowed her steps at the music coming from his office. It flowed through the house and warmed her heart. Piano music always soothed her. Yet another thing she would miss while he was gone. She did what she could to ignore the cloud, put on a happy face, and walked toward her husband.
Slater knew the second Alex entered the room. He could always sense her presence. His thoughts were on the same track as hers as he played the song and thought about how much he would miss her. He smiled to himself when he felt her hands on his shoulders and massaged gently while he finished playing. Slater put his hands over hers as Alex leaned forward over his shoulder.
“Dinner’s ready.”
Slater kissed her softly on the tip of her nose. “Um, five minutes, ok?”
“Sure.” Alex slid her hands off of his shoulders and turned toward the door. “I’ll get the table set.”
He joined her as she finished putting the food on the table and sat down next to her. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble, Allie.”
Alex took a bite of her dinner, the food sat like lead in her stomach. “I like cooking for you.”
“Well, thank you.” The food had the same effect on Slater, but he didn’t want her hard work to feel wasted.
They were quiet as they ate and only made small talk, both of them avoided the thing that was so heavy on their minds. Alex pushed her food around on her plate and tried not to pout. It took all her willpower not to stick out her lower lip and beg him to stay.
Slater watched Alex play with her food, his heart broke at the thought of leaving her in the morning. “You’re quiet tonight, baby,” he teased. “Usually, you’re talking my ear off during dinner.”
Alex shrugged one shoulder. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Allie.” He reached for her hand, worry in his eyes. “Please don’t let the stress get to you and start losing weight again.”
“It’s not that.” Alex shook her head to reassure him. “I promise. Well,” she confessed. “It may be a little of that tonight, but I’ll be fine. I have so much on my mind,” she repeated. “I’m trying not to be a downer about you leaving tomorrow. The movie is on my mind. The fact that the camera adds pounds is on my mind. I always eat light when I’m working.”
“Trust me.” He looked her up and down. “You look fine. Are you ready for Monday?”
“Yeah, I feel good about the scene we’re shooting. Mona said she would run lines with me tomorrow to polish it up.”
“You want me to run lines with you tonight?”
“No, that’s ok. I know you have a lot to wrap up before morning.” Alex stood up and started to clear dishes to put the leftover food away.
“You barely ate, Allie,” Slater pointed out.
“I’ll eat some later if I’m hungry.” She took the dishes out of his hands as he followed her into the kitchen. “I’ll clean this up, you go do what you need to do.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m going to take a long bath after I get this done. Go ahead, really, this will only take me a few minutes.”
“Ok.” He kissed her softly.
She watched him leave the kitchen, then blinked quickly as tears stung her eyes. “You can do this,” she whispered to herself as she put dinner away. “You can do this, you can do this.”
––––––––
“Ok, maybe I can’t do this,” Alex mumbled to herself while the bathwater ran. Try as she might, she couldn’t shake the sadness. She knew she risked making their last night together miserable, but she couldn’t smile and joke and act like she was ok with the time they would spend apart. She turned off the bathwater, lit some candles along the edge of the tub, and turned out the lights. Her body melted into the hot water. She hoped the bubble bath would relax her enough to snap out of her mood for a bit tonight to send her husband off properly. She twisted her hair up into a bun on the top of her head, then leaned against the tub and closed her eyes.
Slater found her like that ten minutes later as he stood at the bathroom door and watched her. Not one day went by that he didn’t think she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He was going to miss the hell out of her. He walked to her, sat on the side of the tub, and tapped her gently on the shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly when she opened her eyes. “Is there room in there for me?”
Alex nodded. “Always.”
She watched Slater take off his clothes, her mouth watered at the sight he made as he stood naked in front of her. Time hadn’t changed his body. He was tall, trim, and muscular. Fully male and nothing but beautiful to her. She scooted slightly to the side as he got in to face her and offered her wineglass to him. Slater looked at her in the glow of the candlelight and saw the sadness in her eyes. They stared at each other in silence.
“I don’t like it either, Allie.” Alex remained silent as she gave him a small nod of understanding. “It’s my job, honey.”
“I know,” Alex whispered.
“This is what I do.”
“I know,” she said once more.
“There are going to be times when you’re away from me because of work.”
“Slater stop. I know all of that. Maybe it will get easier with time, but right now it doesn’t feel easy.” She looked away from him as a tear escaped and hated the fact that she was so damn emotional tonight. “Right now it sucks.”
“Three months, and we’ll see each other.”
“Trust me, as soon as the director says, ‘that’s a wrap’ I am out of there.”
“I’ll have Ben get the plane ready the second you’re done.” He reached in the water for her foot and attempted to massage it, then laughed when she jerked away from him when it tickled. “Have you decided how long you’re staying with me once you join me?”
“I don’t know yet. As of right now, I don’t have anything lined up once this film wraps.”
“Then you can stay with me the entire tour?” he asked, his voice hopeful.
“Maybe. I certainly want to be with you, but I’m honestly not sure about traveling so much.”
“It sucks that you have to do one of his movies,” Slater said, in reference to Douglas.
“Contractual agreements,” Alex sighed. “At least Annette got it negotiated down to just the one instead of three. As soon as this one is done, I won’t have to work on any of his productions unless I want to, and I don’t see myself ever wanting to.”
“Good.” Slater took the glass of wine from her for another drink. “I sure as hell enjoyed living in captivity with you for as long as we did. Drama, and all.”
Alex smiled with him. “Me too.”
“We’ll do it again, trust me.”
“I definitely look forward to that.”
“Come here,” Slater said as he pulled her close to him. Alex settled against him in the water and straddled his lap. “I’ll miss you, Allie,” he whispered against her lips. His hands reached up to tug gently on her hair so it tumbled free around her shoulders, the tips became saturated as they dipped into the water.
“Not half as much as I’ll miss you.” Alex kissed him. She sighed as their tongues met and ran her hands through his hair. She pulled away and looked at him with tears in her eyes. “It feels like ten years ago-”
“Don’t do that,” Slater interrupted. “Don’t bring up that sadness. We’re going to see each other in three months.”
“It feels like forever.”
“No, ten years felt like forever. I’m going to be working non-stop. You’re going to be working fourteen-hour days. We’re both going to be so busy, the time will go by fast. It has to, I insist.” Slater gently nudged Alex away from him as he stood up and reached for her hand. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her.
“I wasn’t done with my bath.”
“Too bad.” He picked her up and walked into the bedroom. “Let me show you how much I’m going to miss you.”
“I told you, I’ll miss you more,” Alex teased him and slid her arms around his neck.
“Then you show me how much you’ll miss me.” He winked at her and wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ll lay back and let you do all the work.”
––––––––
Alex woke with a smile on her face, memories of last night still fresh in her mind. She turned to face Slater and wanted to say a proper good morning to him. She jolted upright and gasped in fear when she saw his side of the bed empty. Flashbacks of that morning so many years ago when he left to go on tour sprung to her mind. They caused a panic she never wanted to remember. He wouldn’t have left her while she slept again, would he? Would he really do that to his wife? Alex frantically put on her robe and forced herself to take calm, controlled breaths. She belted the robe at her waist, then ran down the hall to his office.
Slater packed a few last-minute items into a bag and nearly jumped out of his skin as Alex burst into the room, her cheeks wet with tears, her face panic-stricken. “Jesus, Allie!” he breathed as he turned to her. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“You were gone... I woke up alone... You weren’t there...” she stammered and pointed behind herself toward the bedroom.
“No, I’m in here,” he said slowly, so she would comprehend.
“You weren’t there,” she repeated. Sobs jerked her shoulders. “Oh my God, Slater,” she whispered as she dropped to her knees on the floor, crossed her arms over her body, and rocked slowly to soothe herself.
Slater watched the panic fight with sadness on her face. “I’m right here, baby.” He knelt in front of her and held her chin in his hand. He tried to make eye contact and rubbed her arms to comfort her.
“You weren’t,” she whispered, and let the tears fall.
He wiped away her tears. “That really fucked with you, didn’t it?”
“You have no idea.” She finally looked into his eyes. Her voice choked on sobs. “I woke up just now and saw you weren’t there, and all I could think was you left while I was sleeping and didn’t say goodbye.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said fiercely.
“You did once,” she whispered and covered her face with her hands.
He tamped down his frustration, pulled her hands away from her face and searched her eyes. “Are you going to remind me of that every chance you get?”
“No! I’m sorry, I just got so scared.” Alex leaned her forehead against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. “Please don’t ever do that again,” she begged. “Please.”
“I promise I won’t.” Slater rubbed her back and stood up with her. “I swear to God I’ll never do that to you again.”
“I’m sorry, Slater. I don’t know why I’m being such a big baby about saying goodbye to you.” She stepped away from him and shook her hands to get out the energy as the words tumbled out. “I’m so upside down. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I just got you back, I can’t be without you. I don’t know how.”
“You’re strong, Allie. I know you are.” He held her hands in his and wondered how long the past was going to haunt her. There were times it crept in and wanted to haunt him, but because he knew where they were in the present, he was able to shut that sadness out. He tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled into her eyes. “Are you going to do this every time I leave?”
“I might,” she admitted weakly. “I don’t want to, but I can’t promise you I won’t freak out a little.”
“Allie, I don’t want to say goodbye like this. I don’t want to have memories of you crying and panicking. Smile for me, please.” Alex forced a smile and made him laugh at the comical grimace on her face. “I’ll call you every day. We’re going to talk on the phone so much, you’ll be sick of me, and glad I’m gone.”
She appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood, but her heart still felt heavy. “I’ll never be glad you’re gone.” She pulled him close and kissed him with all the love and passion she felt for him.
“Allie,” Slater choked out. His eyes popped wide when she pulled his shirt over his head. Her hands worked in a frenzy to get his jeans unzipped. Usually, he was the one with the sense of urgency for sex. Once his initial shock wore off, he had to admit he liked this side of her. He sifted his hands into her hair and matched her fever as he kissed her.
“Slater,” Alex breathed and tilted her head to the side while he kissed her neck and nipped at her jaw. “I want you.”
He watched as she took one step away from him, untied the belt at her waist, and let her robe float to the floor. He pulled her to him and held her naked body close to his. His mouth was by her ear while his hands roamed her body. His voice was low and husky, causing Alex to whimper when her skin broke into chills. “I’m all yours, baby.”
––––––––
“I’ll keep her mind occupied for the next few days,” Mona promised Slater as she sat at one of the kitchen counter stools. She shook her head as Alex bustled about the kitchen, she still needed to stay busy to keep her nerves in check. “We’re going shopping today, Alex is cooking dinner for me tonight.”
Alex stopped wiping a countertop clean and looked over her shoulder at Mona on this new information. “I am?”
“Yes, I want that yummy vegetarian thing with goat cheese I love so much.”
“That’s a pain in the butt to make,” Alex mumbled but walked to the refrigerator to ensure they had the ingredients on hand.
“I’m worth it. It’s a pretty involved dish, it’ll keep her mind busy.” She winked at Slater as Alex rattled off the items needed for dinner and clapped her hands softly in victory when Alex let her know she had everything needed for the requested meal.
“You’re going to brave shopping?” Slater wondered. “I’m not sure I like that.”
Mona leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm in reassurance. “I had Annette set up an appointment with a personal shopper at Nordstrom, so we’ll be in the store, but in a private room.” She turned to look at Alex. “She arranged for the cosmetic department to bring up some goodies to show you what’s new.”
“Ooh!” Alex rubbed her hands together with glee. “That always makes me happy.”
“Nice,” Slater muttered. He stepped to her with his hand on her lower back. “An hour ago you’re crying and freaking out that I’m leaving, now at the mention of new makeup, suddenly all is better.”
“Throw in some fine jewelry, and I just might forget all about you,” Alex teased him as she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
Slater wrapped his hands around her waist and smiled into her eyes. “I’m glad Mona will be here with you for a bit.”
“It won’t make me miss you less, but it will take the edge off. Plus, she’s going to miss Chris and misery loves company.”
Mona smiled as Chris hugged her from behind and watched Alex and Slater gaze into each other’s eyes. “Come on Chris.” She took his hand and led him out of the room. “Let’s give these two a minute to say goodbye.”
Slater waited until they left to share a secret with Alex. “I took the panties you had on yesterday.”
Alex laughed and leaned her forehead against his chest with a shake of her head. “I don’t even want to know what you do with them.”
Slater nudged her head back with his fingers under her chin. “Want to know what I’ll do with you when I see you again?”
“I think I have a pretty good idea.”
They smiled into each other’s eyes and wished time would stop.
“Allie,” Slater said quietly. “There are no words. Saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t feel like enough. There are no words to tell you-”
“I know,” Alex interrupted him as she ran her hands up and down his arms. “Trust me, I know.”
“I’m home when I’m with you,” he said softly. “I won’t be home until we’re together again.”
“I feel the same way.”
Slater leaned in and kissed her gently at first. He couldn’t resist taking it deeper and opened his mouth over hers. Their tongues met, the two of them sighed together. “I love you, Alexandra Heart,” he said as he pulled away.
Tears swam in Alex’s eyes as she answered him. “And I love you, Slater Heart.” She mimicked one of his favorite moves and kissed him on the tip of his nose, her voice was playful. “Be safe, ok? Don’t talk to strangers.”
“I hate strangers,” Slater muttered.
“Yet you perform your heart out for them.”
“I’ll miss you. Three months, honey. I can’t wait to see you again.”
Alex blinked back more tears. “Twelve long weeks-”
“Three short months,” he interrupted her with another kiss.
“Two thousand and sixteen hours.”
Slater pulled her into his arms and held her tightly to him as he chuckled. “But who’s counting?”